brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 15:57:16 GMT
...puberty and periods. They're going into 5th grade and my mother never prepared me. She let the school do it through their puberty course. So when I finally got mine and I told her, she gave me money to walk down to the convenience store to get what I needed with a "Make sure you get the ones with the sticky back!". That's it. Nothing else. I always swore I would be MUCH more open and honest with my girls. I knew I wanted to do it this summer since both of them have started showing signs of puberty starting. And we start back to school on Tuesday so it was now or never. It went really well. I tried to be as calm, cool, and collected as possible. One dd said she knew all about it and listened but busied herself doing other stuff while I talked. My other DD had no idea what it was and was absolutely disgusted and mortified that she'd have to change a pad AT SCHOOL. LOL After a quick discussion about tampons and she was over it. It went really well with one DD asking me tons of questions to make sure she understood it. I did reiterate to them that they could talk to me anytime or ask me anything (or ask daddy  ). I did tell them to let me know when it starts so I can make sure to keep supplies on hand. I was proud of myself that 1 - I actually followed through and prepared them and 2 - I was super embarrassed and tripping over my words.  |
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Kerri W
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Post by Kerri W on Aug 20, 2015 16:00:10 GMT
Way to go mom! I had the same thought when my girls reached puberty because my mom didn't do anything to prepare me either. We started by reading a book then having a discussion. One DD never told me I just figured it out and the other sent me an email. lol
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Post by mrsscrapdiva on Aug 20, 2015 16:00:28 GMT
Great job! Do you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders now that they know? I think it is really awesome that you took a proactive role in this and not weight for the puberty class at school.
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Post by mikklynn on Aug 20, 2015 16:02:03 GMT
Good for you! My mom let the school tell me, which was fine. She told my younger sisters to ask me about it.
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~Susan~
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Post by ~Susan~ on Aug 20, 2015 16:06:22 GMT
My mother wasn't very forthcoming with me either and I decided that I wanted a more open and honest relationship with my girls too. The first talk with my oldest was nerve-wrecking, but it was way easier with my other one. I talked very matter of factly and also gave them the American Girl book The Care and Keeping of You. They have been pretty open with me about any questions they may have and are pretty open talking about it in front of their father (I could have never done that), so I am pretty happy  |
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Post by liya on Aug 20, 2015 16:07:55 GMT
I remember my Mom having the talk with me. I did have it with DD also but I really don't remember doing it. I also told her she could come to me about anything and over the years she did. She is going to be 22 in October and now she overshares sometimes.
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freebird
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Post by freebird on Aug 20, 2015 16:08:36 GMT
Your experience Brandy, with your first period is very near mine. Except my mom had bought a box of mini pads and just thrust them at me. I never got another box of minis, after that it was maxis all the way. Thing was, It was really my third period, I muddled through the first 2 on my own. My mom wasn't much of a "mother"
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Post by leannec on Aug 20, 2015 16:11:03 GMT
Good for you! I have a 16 year old that now has a serious boyfriend so I'm in the "protection" phase of this  With my 12 year old, we've had the talk and she is waiting for her period to show up any day ... she's actually very matter of fact about it |
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lesley
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Post by lesley on Aug 20, 2015 16:12:51 GMT
I remember being in the bath when I was about 11, and my mum coming in and talking to me. I was mortified, because I was trapped!
My friend works for Community Education, and she runs a class for parents that teaches them how to talk about sex, puberty, relationships etc with their kids. It's a six-week course, with a two-hour class each week. Another couple of my friends attended it, and said it was absolutely wonderful. Neither one had been comfortable beforehand about what was age-appropriate, or what approach to take. I think there are a lot of parents who feel that way, so this sort of programme is a godsend!
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theshyone
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Post by theshyone on Aug 20, 2015 16:14:21 GMT
Good for you. I thought I was dieing when I got mine between third & fourth grade. I had no idea. My daughter was prepared very early. Long before 5th grade.
Are there books like that for boys?
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 20, 2015 16:15:15 GMT
My oldest son and I had an hour long conversation about oral sex when he was in seventh grade. It was an absolute out of body experience. I had aways told them they could ask me anything. They have, believe me. In the long run, I am glad they did ask me things. Their dad was more of a tab A goes in slot B kind of guy and he was done. So much more than that to discuss with boys who will need to understand girls.
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Deleted
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Apr 27, 2024 23:18:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2015 16:20:24 GMT
Last week a group of us were talking and one of the guys who has 2 girls 12 & 14 and a 9 y/o boy - he said when the kids turn 10 the mom takes the girls (individually) for a weekend get away and they discuss all about the birds and the bees. Next year he will take the son for a wknd and discuss - I thought that was a great idea
I will never forget my mom telling me about it - this was like 100 years ago - she had ordered a kit with kotex's (see how long ago this was) and what to expect - my mom read it to me - we were sitting on her bed and I remember dying a little inside. But I was prepared and I am glad she did tell me. I remember some friends not knowing and starting and freaking out. Not a way to enter womanhood
Good job mom
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anniebygaslight
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 20, 2015 16:25:55 GMT
Well done. My mother told me bugger all about it. We were given a book by the nuns at the catholic school I went to at age 11 all about the changes we would go through, just like 'Our Lady'. It was so couched in metaphor and allegory that none of us had the foggiest idea what it was about. Absolutely ridiculous.
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Nicole in TX
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Post by Nicole in TX on Aug 20, 2015 16:29:00 GMT
My oldest son and I had an hour long conversation about oral sex when he was in seventh grade. It was an absolute out of body experience. I had aways told them they could ask me anything. They have, believe me. In the long run, I am glad they did ask me things. Their dad was more of a tab A goes in slot B kind of guy and he was done. So much more than that to discuss with boys who will need to understand girls. Way to go, Brandy! I am surprised the twins didn't share their knowledge with each other. Maybe one was bluffing.  And Nancy.... an HOUR!? You deserve the mom of the year award for that! |
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Post by beachbum on Aug 20, 2015 16:35:10 GMT
I taught 2nd grade and had a girl who started her period over Christmas break - yes, in 2nd grade. I know we had several in 3rd grade, but this was the first one I had to deal with in 2nd. (she had never been held back). It's happening earlier and earlier...
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Jili
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Post by Jili on Aug 20, 2015 16:36:11 GMT
There are a lot of good book resources that you may want to give them so they can learn the mechanics in depth, at their own pace, too.
It actually is a good idea for the girls to be comfortable asking Dad any questions or just aware that he knows about this stuff. My dh isn't much of an answer guy on this subject, but the girls aren't particularly secretive about what time of the month it is, either. Both of them have actually fainted a couple of times each from bad cramps, and he's been there to help pick them up and deal with it (offer Aleve, get the hot pad going, etc). One dd had a horrifying Dexter-like episode in the back seat of the car during her first period, and he handled that quite well--and for dd, the cat was out of the bag. They're pretty relaxed with him without being overly detailed. If he asks what's wrong and they say 'cramps', no one blinks an eye.
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 20, 2015 16:37:30 GMT
Good for you brandy327! I love that your girls had different reactions to your talk. I'm a lucky one that had a mom that was very matter-of-fact about the whole process with me and my 3 sisters. She had a mother who told her nothing and hushed mom when she came downstairs in a panic one morning thinking she was bleeding to death from some internal injury. I can't imagine being so unprepared. I agree with ~Susan~ that the AG book is really good and gave DD a copy when she was 9 (she was an early into puberty). theshyone for DS, we used Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole. If you go to the Amazon link there are a number of other suggested titles. |
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 20, 2015 16:37:59 GMT
If you havent already please purchase a copy of "The Care and Keeping of You" from American Girl. That book was my bible between the ages of 9 and 12. I read that thing from cover to cover a hundred times.
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Post by ntsf on Aug 20, 2015 16:45:02 GMT
I like the book "Perfectly Normal"--good to put on the accessible bookshelf. also, I would put supplies (and clean underwear) in a plastic ziplock in their backpacks now...if they don't need it at school, a friend might. I also remind them that the office probably has supplies, as do most women under a certain age.
good for you. no need to be a secret..just normal biology.
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scorpeao
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Post by scorpeao on Aug 20, 2015 16:46:46 GMT
I was very open with my dd about it, so when she got her period she wasn't shocked. She was in the not showering phase when she started, so I had to have a frank discussion with her about hygiene. It went something like this: If you don't shower while on your period you will start to smell like a dead animal. I was desperate to get her to shower regularly. Well, that night she had a dream that I came into her room, flung open the door, and said "OMG, IT SMELLS LIKE A DEAD ANIMAL IN HERE!" Pretty sure she now needs therapy...
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 20, 2015 16:51:04 GMT
There are a lot of good book resources that you may want to give them so they can learn the mechanics in depth, at their own pace, too. It actually is a good idea for the girls to be comfortable asking Dad any questions or just aware that he knows about this stuff. My dh isn't much of an answer guy on this subject, but the girls aren't particularly secretive about what time of the month it is, either. Both of them have actually fainted a couple of times each from bad cramps, and he's been there to help pick them up and deal with it. One dd had a horrifying Dexter-like episode in the back seat of the car during her first period, and he handled that quite well--and for dd, the cat was out of the bag. They're pretty relaxed with him without being overly detailed. If he asks what's wrong and they say 'cramps', no one blinks an eye.  x 1000 DD didn't carry a purse regularly until maybe 13-14 and started her period just before turning 11, so DH always had an emergency supply in his car. She also had a 6 month gap between 1st and 2nd periods and wasn't regular for 18 months or so, so if she went away for a weekend I always let the other mom know it was a possibility and made sure DD took what she needed just in case. |
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Post by Basket1lady on Aug 20, 2015 17:05:17 GMT
Good for you Mom!
I'd encourage the underwear and pad in the backpack as well. It gives them some sense of preparedness. I also had supplies in the house so that DD could just get what she needed.
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Post by zztop11 on Aug 20, 2015 17:05:20 GMT
It's funny. I was a sex education teacher and had no problem talking to my students about everything (and I mean everything). But years ago, when it was time with my own daughter, I remember the fluttering feeling in my stomach. We talk about anything now a days. Her husband is a urologist so no topic is off limits.
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:05:21 GMT
Way to go mom! I had the same thought when my girls reached puberty because my mom didn't do anything to prepare me either. We started by reading a book then having a discussion. One DD never told me I just figured it out and the other sent me an email. lol I imagine I'll be notified in the form of a text. LOVE technology!! |
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:06:15 GMT
Great job! Do you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders now that they know? I think it is really awesome that you took a proactive role in this and not weight for the puberty class at school. Yes, I definitely feel better that it's done. The absolute last thing I wanted was for them to be surprised and have NO knowledge at all about it. Thanks!! |
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:08:34 GMT
My mother wasn't very forthcoming with me either and I decided that I wanted a more open and honest relationship with my girls too. The first talk with my oldest was nerve-wrecking, but it was way easier with my other one. I talked very matter of factly and also gave them the American Girl book The Care and Keeping of You. They have been pretty open with me about any questions they may have and are pretty open talking about it in front of their father (I could have never done that), so I am pretty happy I bought that book for them last year and gave it to them to read. The dd that claimed she knew it all said she read the book. The other dd hadn't even touched it. LOL Neither want anything to do with the book anymore now though. LOL I did make it a point that they could talk to either me or my dh about it...but I did tell them that while daddy was knowledgeable about it, depending on the question, he may have to google or ask me. LOLOL They thought that was hilarious. |
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Kerri W
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Post by Kerri W on Aug 20, 2015 17:08:30 GMT
Good for you. I thought I was dieing when I got mine between third & fourth grade. I had no idea. My daughter was prepared very early. Long before 5th grade. Are there books like that for boys? *I think* Chelleoh on the other board is who recommended Lintball Leo's Not So Stupid Questions About Your Body. I think it's great for boys. |
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:11:04 GMT
Your experience Brandy, with your first period is very near mine. Except my mom had bought a box of mini pads and just thrust them at me. I never got another box of minis, after that it was maxis all the way. Thing was, It was really my third period, I muddled through the first 2 on my own. My mom wasn't much of a "mother" I'm sorry we had similar experiences. It really sucked. My mom was a good mother but she just wasn't open about periods, sex, etc. That stuff just wasn't talked about. Hell, I'm 38 and we STILL don't talk about it. But I don't want that kind of relationship with MY girls...so I'm hoping by keeping the communication open, we'll be closer than what my mom and I were. Tampons were an experience though. I bought them all on my own, read the directions...re-read the directions...attempted to use one and threw them all away. LOL It wasn't until I was much older that I was able to use them. |
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:12:12 GMT
Good for you! I have a 16 year old that now has a serious boyfriend so I'm in the "protection" phase of this With my 12 year old, we've had the talk and she is waiting for her period to show up any day ... she's actually very matter of fact about it I don't EVEN want to think about the protection phase. When I was talking I explained that it was how a woman's body prepared to have babies. The look on their faces was priceless. One asked if they HAD to have babies. LOL I said no, but that didn't mean the period wouldn't come. LOLOL |
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 20, 2015 17:14:10 GMT
Good for you. I thought I was dieing when I got mine between third & fourth grade. I had no idea. My daughter was prepared very early. Long before 5th grade. Are there books like that for boys? I've been watching them closely for the last year or so because the ped had told me that once they started showing signs of having breast buds, then the period would probably start within a year or so. I noticed over the summer that there were some changes going on so I figured now was the time. I have no idea if there's a book out there for boys like that. I would assume there'd be something! |
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). I did tell them to let me know when it starts so I can make sure to keep supplies on hand. I was proud of myself that 1 - I actually followed through and prepared them and 2 - I was super embarrassed and tripping over my words. 
Time to get off the internet!
x 1000
