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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2015 0:58:53 GMT
I truly am just curious, but how do you (anyone) make it that far without ever having had that conversation with your children? I'm pretty sure the boys knew what femprods were for and basic biology of menstruation before they hit school and, well, they're boys. Between the commercials and actually having to buy femprods myself, there was no way they wouldn't have asked the question. Again, no judgement, just wondering (and maybe a bit envious?) My kids never asked questions, and I was ready to answer them if they did.
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Post by missfrenchjessica on Aug 21, 2015 1:02:06 GMT
Good for you! I got not talk at all. When it happened for me, I was completely confused and a bit scared. Once it happened, my mother showed me how to use a pad and that was it. Nothing more...ever. When my daughter was in 3rd grade, I got her the book "The Care and Keeping of You"--the American Girls book I believe. I told her to read it and if she had any questions, she could come to me. I didn't know HOW to start the conversation, so I liked giving her the book that covers more than just getting her period, but social stuff that starts to change, personal hygiene, emotions etc. Thanks to that book, my daughter and I have had many great conversations. The book served as a spring board in many different situations. My daughter has asked many great questions--sometimes so great I didn't have an answer and needed to research! BUT, I'm glad she's been asking. Sometimes it's uncomfortable, but I'd rather be uncomfortable and know she has the RIGHT information. The thing that scares me the most is her taking advice from her girlfriends. Who the heck knows what they think is right!?! She got her period in 7th grade--later than many of her classmates, but she was very prepared. She and I made an emergency "bag" of supplies using an old make-up bag I got with some free samples. We talked about how to use a pad and a tampon. When she first started and was on her period for ballet, her teacher was great letting her (and the other girls) wear dark shorts over their tights/leotard until they figured out the whole tampon thing. I'm so glad we talked and continue to talk about this stuff. It's important for her to have a safe place to come for accurate information. I never want her to feel alone, ashamed, scared, or unimportant.
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Post by polz on Aug 21, 2015 1:03:39 GMT
In my family, we get our monthly early (I was 9. Another cousin was 8). It's just how it is. I told DD all about it when she was 9. She was so upset. Got her monthly at 10. She's 15 now and on the pill for her acne and is so excited to not have a monthly. Good on you brandy327 for letting your girls know now.
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Nicole in TX
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Jun 26, 2014 2:00:21 GMT
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Post by Nicole in TX on Aug 21, 2015 1:07:57 GMT
I like the book "Perfectly Normal"--good to put on the accessible bookshelf. also, I would put supplies (and clean underwear) in a plastic ziplock in their backpacks now...if they don't need it at school, a friend might. I also remind them that the office probably has supplies, as do most women under a certain age. good for you. no need to be a secret..just normal biology. I gave them each a pad and showed them how most backpacks and purses have a little zippered pocket just for these things. I did tell them that the nurse has supplies if they should find themselves without something. I also told them that while they may get cramps and they're not always pleasant, it's never an excuse to get out of going to school. And how being moody and having your period is NEVER reason enough to be disrespectful to anyone and if someone uses that as an excuse, it's just that..an excuse. And it's not tolerated around here. If you have never had cramps so bad you want to die, be thankful. Just be aware that some girls do and it certainly can be a legitimate reason to stay home from school. I am talking about passing out, throwing up, getting diarrhea from the pain, etc. Make sure that you are aware and sensitive to the fact that periods can be very painful. My mother really should have put me on the pill for mine. I never realized it was an option as a teen and I spent a few years scheduling things around my period.
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paigepea
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Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
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Post by paigepea on Aug 21, 2015 1:17:04 GMT
You are all making me nervous. My dd is going into grade 5. She had a few sex Ed lectures at school last year that dealt with puberty and what to expect. I tried to use those lectures as a way to open discussions between her and I but she is so uninterested. Her body is not yet changing. She knows kind of what to expect and that periods happen, but she is so far from being interested that I feel like I'm neglecting her.
I got my period in grade 5 but I was much further developed than her. I'll pick up the AG book and maybe it will spark her interest. We have a different book and she's totally not interested.
She's also uninterested in anything boy / sex related.
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Post by nightnurse on Aug 21, 2015 1:47:16 GMT
I gave them each a pad and showed them how most backpacks and purses have a little zippered pocket just for these things. I did tell them that the nurse has supplies if they should find themselves without something. I also told them that while they may get cramps and they're not always pleasant, it's never an excuse to get out of going to school. And how being moody and having your period is NEVER reason enough to be disrespectful to anyone and if someone uses that as an excuse, it's just that..an excuse. And it's not tolerated around here. If you have never had cramps so bad you want to die, be thankful. Just be aware that some girls do and it certainly can be a legitimate reason to stay home from school. I am talking about passing out, throwing up, getting diarrhea from the pain, etc. Make sure that you are aware and sensitive to the fact that periods can be very painful. My mother really should have put me on the pill for mine. I never realized it was an option as a teen and I spent a few years scheduling things around my period. This! My mother was of the opinion that I was a drama queen and so I dragged myself to school and passed out there. So humiliating. She refused to entertain the possibility of me being on the pill because she thought it would make me have sex, so I suffered until college. Then I passed out in the shower and woke up to some poor strange boy shaking my shoulder. Started the pill right away and it helped tremendously. It wasn't until I became an adult and starting learning more about dysmenorrhagia that I realized I wasn't a drama queen, with a poor pain tolerance, and that my experiences weren't that uncommon. I never had "just cramps" until after I had a child. Before that, my periods were a monthly hell, then I skipped them with BCPs. Now they are so easy-a little uncomfortable cramps for a day or two and still an occasional migraine, but not severe abdominal pain, back pain, and pain radiating down my legs, with nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, headaches and eight days of heavy bleeding.
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brandy327
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Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 21, 2015 1:47:46 GMT
You are a good mom. I can tell your work hard and put a lot of effort into doing things for your kids so they have it better than you did. Thank you so much. That's such a huge compliment!
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brandy327
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Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 21, 2015 1:52:26 GMT
I gave them each a pad and showed them how most backpacks and purses have a little zippered pocket just for these things. I did tell them that the nurse has supplies if they should find themselves without something. I also told them that while they may get cramps and they're not always pleasant, it's never an excuse to get out of going to school. And how being moody and having your period is NEVER reason enough to be disrespectful to anyone and if someone uses that as an excuse, it's just that..an excuse. And it's not tolerated around here. If you have never had cramps so bad you want to die, be thankful. Just be aware that some girls do and it certainly can be a legitimate reason to stay home from school. I am talking about passing out, throwing up, getting diarrhea from the pain, etc. Make sure that you are aware and sensitive to the fact that periods can be very painful. My mother really should have put me on the pill for mine. I never realized it was an option as a teen and I spent a few years scheduling things around my period. I was going to put a disclaimer to that post but ended up not. I do know that there are girls that DO have horrific cramps and if either of my girls DO have it that bad, then of course, I'll be sympathetic and would allow her to stay home. I just don't want either of them to use it as a willy nilly excuse to get out of things...not that I really think they would, because neither of them are like that. LOL But I will most definitely be sensitive to their individual circumstances.
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brandy327
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Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 21, 2015 1:54:34 GMT
You are all making me nervous. My dd is going into grade 5. She had a few sex Ed lectures at school last year that dealt with puberty and what to expect. I tried to use those lectures as a way to open discussions between her and I but she is so uninterested. Her body is not yet changing. She knows kind of what to expect and that periods happen, but she is so far from being interested that I feel like I'm neglecting her. I got my period in grade 5 but I was much further developed than her. I'll pick up the AG book and maybe it will spark her interest. We have a different book and she's totally not interested. She's also uninterested in anything boy / sex related. The ped told me that once the breast buds develop, it's typically within a year when their period will start. If neither of them had started to develop breast buds and hadn't asked any questions, I may have put it off. But you have to kind of judge as best as you can. Neither of my girls are interested in anything boy or sex related either. I hope that keeps up for another 15-20 years.
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stittsygirl
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Jun 25, 2014 19:57:33 GMT
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Post by stittsygirl on Aug 21, 2015 2:13:49 GMT
They separated the boys and girls the last week of school in fourth grade and gave us booklets about the changes. I brought my booklet home and showed my Mom, who said: "Don't worry, the dog gets her period, and she survives." ::)That was the extent of sex ed in my house. I grew several inches that summer, taller than any of my classmates, boys included, so I started early the next school year. I am dating myself, because the adhesive-backed pads were new on the market, much better than the belts and surfboards that shifted. I promised myself my kids could ask me anything and that I would be prepared. I had books and supplies handy, and ice cream to chat over. This was my experience as well (except for the dog part, lol). I must have been in one of the last groups that was taught about the belts - we were even given one and a pad-like thing with holes at each end to fasten to the belt. I wish I still had those, I could sell them on Etsy as "vintage" . When I actually started, a couple of years later, we were at a family reunion at my grandmother's, and it was the middle of the night. My mom didn't have any supplies with her, and didn't want to wake anyone up looking for a pad, so she cut up one of my baby brother's disposable diapers to use as a pad. I remember crying for the rest of the night because even at that tender age I realized what a PITA this was going to be for the next 40 years. My early talks with my own girls must not have betrayed that attitude, because they were both excited when they started, both in fifth grade. That excitement died pretty quick though .
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Post by AussieMeg on Aug 21, 2015 2:19:43 GMT
Good job mum!! My mum had a very sheltered upbringing, and was quite ill-prepared to discuss this with me. She gave me a very brief run down and told me that I might get tummy aches and be in a bad mood, and that was it! I think by that stage I already knew all about it anyway. When I had my own daughter I wanted a much more open relationship, and I wanted her to know about these things well in advance . I first told her about periods when she was about 4 or 5 (she had asked what the pads and tampons in my cupboard were for). So I felt we were quite well prepared, and when it happened she came straight to me and showed me “the evidence” to make sure it was what she thought it was. I also tried to broach the subject of sex when she was in Year 5 but she was NOT ready for that and actually started to cry!! ETA: I also told my son about periods when he was about 5 after we were at the grocery store one day and he asked what the pads were for. He thought it was gross and has never mentioned it again!
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Aug 21, 2015 2:20:34 GMT
She taught me what I needed to know and then the purple book we got in health class just rounded out what Judy Blume taught me! I remember after getting our purple books, we raced out to the playground to where the boys were to see what was in their blue books Also, those mini zipper pouch bags that you can get from Thirty One or Ipsy bags if you subscribe are perfect for holding supplies! I have several and keep them in my work bag, purse, car, desk, etc. It may be an option for backpacks, too. I looked quickly today when I was at Target but they didn't have any small bags - just some larger ones. I was looking for a really small size so that they could just slip it in their backpack easily. I think I'll look at Etsy! What do you consider small? Check Target's travel section-- they have some makeup bags there (not transparent) that I personally think are too small for makeup but would probably be just fine.
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brandy327
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Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Aug 21, 2015 2:21:35 GMT
I looked quickly today when I was at Target but they didn't have any small bags - just some larger ones. I was looking for a really small size so that they could just slip it in their backpack easily. I think I'll look at Etsy! What do you consider small? Check Target's travel section-- they have some makeup bags there (not transparent) that I personally think are too small for makeup but would probably be just fine. Oh! I didn't even think to check the travel section! I'll check it out next time I'm there!
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Post by scrappinmom3 on Aug 21, 2015 3:27:59 GMT
My mom was the same Brandy. My dd20 has lived through me being the exact opposite - lots of information went to her from me! I didn't read all of the responses, but I would arm them with a pad or two in their backpacks now, just in case. I also made sure that my DD had a hoodie or sweater at school in case it happened there, especially for the first time.
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Post by melanell on Aug 21, 2015 4:24:44 GMT
I truly am just curious, but how do you (anyone) make it that far without ever having had that conversation with your children? I'm pretty sure the boys knew what femprods were for and basic biology of menstruation before they hit school and, well, they're boys. Between the commercials and actually having to buy femprods myself, there was no way they wouldn't have asked the question. Again, no judgement, just wondering (and maybe a bit envious?) We never had TV with commercials, but my older son still knew about female menstruation from pretty early on. We're an open book kind of household. A kid asks a question and we will answer it. But not all kids ask questions. Plus my stuff is in the main bathroom and in the linen closet and both kids have found them. DS #1, the talker, asked about them. DS #2, the action man, came out from a bathroom trip with an unwrapped tampon in his hand and asked if he could use "this thing" with his Lego guys. But it's easy for me to imagine kids just not paying any attention or not caring, because I was that kind of kid. My mom gave me "The Period Talk" when I was about 10.5. And I had no clue. I had never seen her products because she purposely kept them hidden in her room instead of in the bathroom. And though I know I saw commercials they just didn't interest me enough to really continually question about them. I probably asked once, was told they were for adults, and went on with my life.
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Post by doesitmatter on Aug 21, 2015 4:29:34 GMT
I started the dialog very early so there wasn't a "talk" talk, but gradual information over time. I also had a lot of female problems, surgeries and a hysterectomy so she knew about periods, well pretty early in life. I have talked to all my kids about sex and their bodies and changes since they were young - soon as they were curious and before kindergarten. My parents had 0 conversations with me, it was up to the school so I did the very opposite. I decided if we had a very open ongoing convo about this stuff it would never have to be the awkward talk. In 4th grade some of dd's friends got their periods, and she was already aware of the facts and the supplies etc... she also was developing early so I ramped up our talks and product demos all through 4th grade, despite her proclaiming I had told her enough lol, but in the beginning of 5th it happened (she's a year older than most 5th graders due to her birthday/ school cut off) and she knew exactly what was happening and what to do. Now of course she was nervous and I was there to comfort her and help with the basic supplies and for lots of hugs and any questions, but I was so glad I had prepared her and been open with her. So I definitely think by 3rd grade moms should start talking to their girls..I started earlier. I am glad that you weren't too late and that talked to them and opened the dialog, you never know when girls will start and its best to be prepared!
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 21, 2015 4:35:55 GMT
After a quick discussion about tampons and she was over it. Good luck to her with that! Good job Mom!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2015 6:03:24 GMT
I have nothing useful to add but congratulations! The hard part is over! I am sure you were sweating bullets!
(I have no idea what a mother tells her son when there is no father in the picture? That was awkward!)
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Post by doesitmatter on Aug 21, 2015 6:08:17 GMT
You are all making me nervous. My dd is going into grade 5. She had a few sex Ed lectures at school last year that dealt with puberty and what to expect. I tried to use those lectures as a way to open discussions between her and I but she is so uninterested. Her body is not yet changing. She knows kind of what to expect and that periods happen, but she is so far from being interested that I feel like I'm neglecting her. I got my period in grade 5 but I was much further developed than her. I'll pick up the AG book and maybe it will spark her interest. We have a different book and she's totally not interested. She's also uninterested in anything boy / sex related. The ped told me that once the breast buds develop, it's typically within a year when their period will start. If neither of them had started to develop breast buds and hadn't asked any questions, I may have put it off. But you have to kind of judge as best as you can. Neither of my girls are interested in anything boy or sex related either. I hope that keeps up for another 15-20 years. Usually those are good indicators, but one of dd's closest friends started at 10 and had no outward signs of development...so alwyas good to be prepared. I myself was a late starter my dd was young...poor girl.
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my3freaks
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Jun 26, 2014 4:10:56 GMT
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Post by my3freaks on Aug 21, 2015 6:57:50 GMT
My mother wasn't very forthcoming with me either and I decided that I wanted a more open and honest relationship with my girls too. The first talk with my oldest was nerve-wrecking, but it was way easier with my other one. I talked very matter of factly and also gave them the American Girl book The Care and Keeping of You. They have been pretty open with me about any questions they may have and are pretty open talking about it in front of their father (I could have never done that), so I am pretty happy I bought that book for them last year and gave it to them to read. The dd that claimed she knew it all said she read the book. The other dd hadn't even touched it. LOL Neither want anything to do with the book anymore now though. LOL I did make it a point that they could talk to either me or my dh about it...but I did tell them that while daddy was knowledgeable about it, depending on the question, he may have to google or ask me. LOLOL They thought that was hilarious. Ooh, asking questions that Dad, or older brother have no clue about are awesome! It never gets old, lol.
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Post by gar on Aug 21, 2015 7:58:29 GMT
I truly am just curious, but how do you (anyone) make it that far without ever having had that conversation with your children? I'm pretty sure the boys knew what femprods were for and basic biology of menstruation before they hit school and, well, they're boys. Between the commercials and actually having to buy femprods myself, there was no way they wouldn't have asked the question. Again, no judgement, just wondering (and maybe a bit envious?) I wondered too. Tampons etc weren't hidden in the bathroom and I drip fed them little snippets of info from a very early age consequently we never had 'the talk' just short Qs and As adding more and more info as and when. Kids are naturally curious Well done for a great approach
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Post by miominmio on Aug 21, 2015 10:34:54 GMT
My mom never told me anything, so I was sooo scared when I started at 11.
DD is 9, and I had planned to talk to her about it this summer.....Except that she came home this winter and told me they were watching films and learning about it in school.....And not only puberty, but also sex. She was mortified, and claimed they were too young to learn about it (and I agree, 8 yo do not need to know about sex yet).
Problem is; she IS starting to enter puberty, but now she refuses to talk about it at all. She will get desperate and cry "I'm too young, I'm too young" before I can finish my first sentence. I'm trying to be positive about her growing up (unrelated to puberty), but she's adamant she's still "little". I think there's difficult times ahead.......
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