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Post by 950nancy on Aug 23, 2015 16:28:44 GMT
Mine is in town living in the dorms and I mis him. He is a chatterbox and resembles the Energizer bunny. He is exhausting in the best kind of way. I am used to him doing something for an hour and then coming to visit with me,He repeats this all day. I do know that almost all parents say it is hard and then you learn to love the peace and quiet. My husband is pretty quiet so it seems weird.
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Post by monicad on Aug 23, 2015 17:18:27 GMT
Thank you so much for the reassurance! It was great to read your experiences and know that many other moms have been through this or are going through it now. The room makeover stories made me laugh! He did text me this morning and apologized for being frustrated yesterday because he was tired and stressed out...it was nice waking up to a message and I feel grateful that we have technology that will allow us to keep in touch. Still going to keep his door closed for the next couple of days, and I may have to move "his" chair at the dining room table into the garage for a little while. LOL
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Post by liya on Aug 23, 2015 19:29:51 GMT
I'm moving my youngest in on Tuesday. He will only be an hour and a half away but no cars for freshman so he cannot pop home whenever he wants (which is a good thing.) His sister did that when she was a freshman at a different campus and it made the transition harder for her. I will try to hold it together in front of him but will lose it once my back is turned and we start walking away. DD was social and I wasn't worried about her making friends but I worry about DS. The academics will be the easy part for him. It's everything else I'm stressing about.
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Post by cindytred on Aug 23, 2015 19:58:17 GMT
Right this very minute, I'm thinking "and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." Lol. I have a 14 year old ds that is an only. I'm sure I will be a wreck when the time comes. I remember my parents seeming relieved when my 2 older sisters moved out. I was still 17 when I graduated, 4 days later I was off to boot camp. The first correspondence I had with them came from a new address. They had packed up and moved, immediately after I left, to Alaska with my 2 younger siblings. I remember feeling like I didn't really belong anywhere. That makes me sad.
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Post by cindytred on Aug 23, 2015 20:20:54 GMT
My daughter goes to the second largest university in the USA. She left on Friday to start her sophomore year. I made the hour and a half drive to see her yesterday. She's going to have a great year! She's in an on campus apartment with her own room. It's decorated like it should be in a magazine. She made most of the art on the walls herself. When I left last night she had 4 friends come by to visit. Nice kids too. I felt so much better about leaving her this year than I did last year. She looked like a deer in the headlights last year.
She my second kid to go to this college so I'm in a better place than I was with the oldest. Been there done that.
One thing that amazes me is how parents are accepting of their college kids not contacting them regularly. I'm a worrier and I have to hear from them every evening. This goes for my 27 year old single dd too. They are fine with it.
Cindy
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oaksong
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,164
Location: LA Suburbia
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on Aug 23, 2015 20:55:06 GMT
Hugs to everyone! We just got back from orientation and moving our DD into her dorm for her freshman year at a school very, very far away. DS leaves Friday for his senior year of college in the east coast. I'm trying not to think about how empty I will feel come next Saturday. My daughter was a joy to raise, and my son is the most interesting and funny person I know. I try to focus on the great opportunities they have ahead of them. DH is a mess, and keeps wanting to "go there" with his grief. I am in denial so far, and change the subject as quickly as I can. At some point I will be inconsolable for an extended period of time, but not just yet. In the meantime, here's something to lighten the mood. Mom's Fears about Daughter Leaving for College Channeled into Fight about Storage Bins
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Post by Kelpea on Aug 23, 2015 21:15:38 GMT
We take our baby this Friday. Can't wait for her to see the world. I have held it together until the other night when she let me cuddle her during a show. Started bawling.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,498
Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Aug 24, 2015 0:54:29 GMT
Our drop off day went really well. They had football players emptying out cars and carrying everything to the rooms. They even helped loft her bed. Her roommate was super excited to see her. She is a local girl and we met her parents who told us if she ever has trouble with her car or anything else, they are on it. Really nice people. My husband, younger daughter and I bummed around campus for two or three hours as we waited for a blessing the journey ceremony they have for new students and their families. It was good for us to see how happy and excited everyone is. We had a weepy goodbye with a long hug, but it was good. I worried that our car ride home would be sad and feel endless, but we were happy and feeling so grateful that our daughter has this amazing opportunity in life. I know we'll miss her at times, but this is just how you hope things will be for your kid.
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Post by hop2 on Aug 24, 2015 2:52:43 GMT
Omg I watched a video of my DD from college and bawled my eyes out! Dang, I was doing sooo good but then I actually 'saw' her for he first time in a week and I lost it.
Lol
But, but! she looked happy! And I'm not sure if I was crying with relief or missing her or both. Loll
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Post by ahiller on Aug 24, 2015 3:32:38 GMT
Oh gosh, DD starts kindergarten next week and I am a mess. I don't even want to think about college. Hugs to all of you mamas sending your kids off!
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Post by SallyPA on Aug 24, 2015 3:40:47 GMT
Hugs to you!
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
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Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Aug 24, 2015 3:50:35 GMT
I know exactly how you feel. My dd was a freshman last year, and I had all those same emotions. You will be OK-- it will definitely be an adjustment, but it'll be OK. Certain things will be strange, especially at first. Little things-- like seeing her towel on the rack in the bathroom, and setting the table for one less person. It gets better with time as you get more used to it. I didn't even cry this year. I do have some sort of communication with my dd almost every day-- most often by text but we do talk, too.
I'm not going to lie, though. Our family dynamic has changed. It's still good and positive, but it's different with only 3 of us living at home for most of the calendar year. It is an ongoing adjustment. You can do it!
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Post by Jamie on Aug 24, 2015 14:20:54 GMT
I'm in a hotel room in Fargo this morning. My daughter moves into her dorm today. This is just the strangest feeling that we are leaving her. I'm pretty good at being stoic when I need to be and I think I'll be fine on the campus. My four hour drive home might feel endless. I heard the song "Wide Open Spaces" on the radio this week - cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. Yet, I'm really excited for my daughter. she's going to a great school. She's going to love this. Ellen -
My SIL is in the same boat in Fargo this morning as well (NDSU) dropping my niece off. She stopped by yesterday before they left and it was so hard to say bye. I'll be up there the first week in October and plan on taking her out for dinner to see how she's doing but it was like letting my child go. Getting tears in my eyes just thinking about it
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Deleted
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May 2, 2024 8:14:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2015 14:25:55 GMT
It will be fine...it is such a tough adjustment...hugs.....
I have moved kids into dorms/apartments for 9 years and had one go to boot camp and then be in the Iraqi war...its an adjustment...but I promise it does get better.....(even though they will always be our babies!)
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Post by RiverIsis on Aug 24, 2015 14:50:20 GMT
Completely understand. I was a rock the entire HS Senior year. Didn't cry at a single event including graduation. Go to University Parent Orientation while they are doing New Student Orientation which concluded with Convocation of New Students and started tearing up. This was after a 600 mile drive, a dorm move (which is mostly done by their orientation staff) so drop off stuff-park-shuttle-unpack sort of thing, a welcome new students fair, sorting out little bits and pieces and I won't even go into DS getting locked out of his room while in the bathroom and not having his phone so we couldn't meet up as planned and he didn't tell me he met new people and his plans had changed etc... yeah. I was tired and a little bit weepy with a 600 mile drive in front of me. It gets easier and it's ok to cry.
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Post by ilikepink on Aug 24, 2015 17:22:25 GMT
It was only a few years ago when I left my last two at college. It's hard!!! Such a different time for both sides. My XH kept saying to me, isn't this what you want--adults that function well in the world? Well, yes but.............
I kept saying this, and continue to say it: Children need roots and wings. The roots take longer, but the wings are harder.
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Deleted
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May 2, 2024 8:14:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2015 19:26:04 GMT
We spent the weekend moving DD into college 600 miles away and while it went well and we felt very welcomed, it was still hard to say goodbye. She is a shy girl trying very hard to make friends. She's really putting herself out there and I am so proud of that! But so far she hasn't really found people to click with. Her roommate turned out to be a dud, too, so she's pretty much been on her own all week for most of the things. I am worried worried worried but I KNOW she will get through this first hard bit and end up thriving. She's been texting and called me twice, so that helps both of us. College is an AWESOME opportunity, and I am beyond excited for her. Just wish I could help ease the fear of the unknown for her.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Aug 25, 2015 19:51:06 GMT
I think that what you are feeling is probably very normal. My oldest is 15 and honestly, I sit here hoping that she will choose to go to community college for the first two years. Not just because of the expense issue, which is an issue with us, but also because I'm not sure I'd be ready to send my 18 year old out into the world yet either. I think I will be a mess when she leaves.
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Post by kandie on Aug 25, 2015 20:18:16 GMT
my oldest DD is just a juniour in highschool this year so I have two more years. but am already dreading it!!!!!!
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,498
Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Aug 25, 2015 23:31:11 GMT
my oldest DD is just a juniour in highschool this year so I have two more years. but am already dreading it!!!!!! I think you'll find that you'll enjoy a lot of it. While we were looking for schools I decided that I would just enjoy it and deal with feeling sad about it at the very end. My daughter and I had great discussions about college. We had some really enjoyable overnight trips together visiting schools. i was so excited when we made that last college visit and I just knew that we'd found it by the way my daughter was responding to everything there. It was really good for our relationship and I am so happy we had that. It also helped me to feel like leaving my daughter at her college was the best thing we could do for her. Her dad and I will get used to her being gone. I think you'll feel the same way.
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Post by maryland on Aug 25, 2015 23:59:14 GMT
I move my daughter (just turned 18, so a freshman) to college 5 hrs. away (out of state) on Thurs. So excited, but mostly sad. I will really miss her. I thought she was going to go to the local university (big school 30 min. away). I am doing well now, don't want to spend her last week at home in tears. But we are so busy that I don't even have time to think about it. To worried about buying her all the stuff she needs to survive on her own.
I feel the same way you do, it's nice to know I am not alone!
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Post by maryland on Aug 26, 2015 0:05:46 GMT
My daughter goes to the second largest university in the USA. She left on Friday to start her sophomore year. I made the hour and a half drive to see her yesterday. She's going to have a great year! She's in an on campus apartment with her own room. It's decorated like it should be in a magazine. She made most of the art on the walls herself. When I left last night she had 4 friends come by to visit. Nice kids too. I felt so much better about leaving her this year than I did last year. She looked like a deer in the headlights last year. She my second kid to go to this college so I'm in a better place than I was with the oldest. Been there done that. One thing that amazes me is how parents are accepting of their college kids not contacting them regularly. I'm a worrier and I have to hear from them every evening. This goes for my 27 year old single dd too. They are fine with it. Cindy Pictures! Sounds like she will have a fun time at school.
My daughter won't have a nice room this year. She is with 2 others in a double! I don't know how she will fit anything. I think we will hear from her with texts. She will text her sister for sure! My neighbor give me lots of tips. She has to hear from her 21 yr. old son every day too, just like you do. At least it's so easy with texting to keep in touch without having to actually call them. My biggest fear for my daughter - that she falls out of her bunk bed or that she is in the bottom and the top falls down on her. Or she gets stuck in an elevator. Crazy fears I have!
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Post by Dixie Lou on Aug 26, 2015 0:39:51 GMT
DD1: When we dropped her off at her (big) college I cried all the way home. She was an hour away. DD1 is now a hairstylist. College didn't work out for her.
DD2: DH drove her to college (two hours away.) I had to work so I wasn't there. l put a James Avery bracelet in her things so when she unpacked she found it. I wasn't so sad with her because she was on the soccer team and I knew we'd be seeing her almost every week for a while. Two years later she transferred to a bigger university 2 1/2 hours away. She is now there starting her 3rd semester of grad school. She "rarely" comes home unless it's some kind of a break. I was sad for her to leave on Sunday after being home for a week but she reminded me that we will see each other at the football game in a couple of weeks. AND she begins her externship in January so is moving home in December! We'll have our sweet girl home for at least 5 months!
DD3: I wasn't so sad about her either. She was in the same city as DD2, 2 1/2 hours away. She was on the dance team so I got to see her perform a lot. Since her big sister was there I didn't worry about her much. Now she goes to a huge university 22 hours away. I am always sad when she leaves. She works and doesn't get much time off. I was very sad when she decided to go back after being home for just a week for the summer. I planned a trip to visit her in June. On my return, my plane was to leave around 3:00 p.m. We tried to do a few things beforehand but I started crying and couldn't stop. So embarrassing! I finally just had her drop me off at the airport early. She was home for three days just last week. I figured her dad could drive her to the airport. It was much easier to say goodbye at home. We are meeting for a weekend in Vegas in October so I have that to hang on to. She won't come home until a few days after Christmas. It will be the first time we have spent the holidays without her. She now has her residency in the state where she now lives.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 26, 2015 1:03:08 GMT
I know exactly how you feel. My dd was a freshman last year, and I had all those same emotions. You will be OK-- it will definitely be an adjustment, but it'll be OK. Certain things will be strange, especially at first. Little things-- like seeing her towel on the rack in the bathroom, and setting the table for one less person. It gets better with time as you get more used to it. I didn't even cry this year. I do have some sort of communication with my dd almost every day-- most often by text but we do talk, too. I'm not going to lie, though. Our family dynamic has changed. It's still good and positive, but it's different with only 3 of us living at home for most of the calendar year. It is an ongoing adjustment. You can do it! When my oldest left for college, my youngest hugged him goodbye and said, "How am I going to live all by myself with the "olds?" He had the hardest time adjusting.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 26, 2015 1:07:10 GMT
maryland I think I would have hated to talk to my parents every single night when I was in college. I loved them very much, but was looking for some independence. We talked once a week. I did the same thing with my son who thought once a week was too much, but he threw me bone and texted too. My youngest is just 15 minutes away so we will navigate that situation. He's already been home for toilet paper, paper towels, and snacks.
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Post by RiverIsis on Aug 26, 2015 1:13:36 GMT
OK moms I have a tracker AP- My DH actually installed it but it is wonderful because if I get a little "worried" I just look up my DS on my ap and see he's at class or apartment or shops etc. It is especially wonderful when he driving and I can just keep an eye that he is making progress as he should. It is Life360 if you are interested.
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Post by RiverIsis on Aug 26, 2015 1:14:46 GMT
I move my daughter (just turned 18, so a freshman) to college 5 hrs. away (out of state) on Thurs. So excited, but mostly sad. I will really miss her. I thought she was going to go to the local university (big school 30 min. away). I am doing well now, don't want to spend her last week at home in tears. But we are so busy that I don't even have time to think about it. To worried about buying her all the stuff she needs to survive on her own. I feel the same way you do, it's nice to know I am not alone! I could have written this a 3 years ago but 10 hours instead of an hour. Told us declaration week too!
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Post by RiverIsis on Aug 26, 2015 1:19:33 GMT
We spent the weekend moving DD into college 600 miles away and while it went well and we felt very welcomed, it was still hard to say goodbye. She is a shy girl trying very hard to make friends. She's really putting herself out there and I am so proud of that! But so far she hasn't really found people to click with. Her roommate turned out to be a dud, too, so she's pretty much been on her own all week for most of the things. I am worried worried worried but I KNOW she will get through this first hard bit and end up thriving. She's been texting and called me twice, so that helps both of us. College is an AWESOME opportunity, and I am beyond excited for her. Just wish I could help ease the fear of the unknown for her. Encourage her to join study groups and get involved, she may be able to move rooms at some point if she finds a new roomie she likes. Most schools have lots of groups and so it should be easier to find a group to fit in with than high school. My eldest moved into a pre-approved floor (Engineering House) so everyone on the floor was part of the group. It was like being in a Fraternity/Soriority but not greek. It wasn't perfect, but they did lots of activities together and had an open door policy so everyone on the floor got to know one another. College is what she makes it.
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Post by maryland on Aug 26, 2015 3:40:57 GMT
maryland I think I would have hated to talk to my parents every single night when I was in college. I loved them very much, but was looking for some independence. We talked once a week. I did the same thing with my son who thought once a week was too much, but he threw me bone and texted too. My youngest is just 15 minutes away so we will navigate that situation. He's already been home for toilet paper, paper towels, and snacks. My friend's daughter (our girls are best friends) has been at school (5 hrs. away) since Friday. She said she wouldn't miss home at all, couldn't wait to get away, said she wouldn't text mom and dad for a while, etc. Well, poor thing is so homesick and actually called her mom and other friends today. She can't wait for my daughter to get to her school (10 miles from friend's school) so they can get together.
My daughter enjoys texting, so that's the only way we will hear from her. She isn't a phone talker at all! She sounds mad if you call her (haha!). I wouldn't have wanted to talk to my parents every day either! I live 5 hrs. away now, and we may talk 2 days in a row, or not for 2-3 weeks. If we have news to share we talk, but otherwise, we catch up every few weeks.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 26, 2015 3:48:35 GMT
I just got a text (picture) of the ice cream machine shut down. The sign said, "You guys have eaten sooo much ice cream, the cow has died." I like that he lets me know the important stuff that goes on.
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