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Post by monicad on Aug 23, 2015 5:44:28 GMT
I am soooo emotional now that we're back home.  It will be ok, right? He found a school he loves, has a huge (newly remodeled) dorm/apartment, really nice roommates, and is less than two hours away. We are very lucky to see our son have this great opportunity. I know that, but my mom heart feels like it's breaking. I've never gone more than a week without seeing my kids, so this is a huge adjustment. He has this whole new life that we're not really part of, and it just feels so strange. It's been a long day, I'm exhausted and emotional, and rationally I know everything will be fine. I guess this is one of those things where you need to know others have been there, done that, and survived. ;-) |
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scorpeao
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Post by scorpeao on Aug 23, 2015 5:59:13 GMT
Mine left for boot camp on August 11th. It does get better. I am still getting emotional over stupid things, but nothing like the first couple days after she left. I'm slowly adjusting to my new normal.
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Post by flanz on Aug 23, 2015 6:38:40 GMT
Hugs to you, Mom! It'll be okay. When our first went off to college it was a 6.5 hour drive away, and we saw him for a couple of days that October (tix for a special event at home), Thanksgiving and Christmas and spring break, but that was it. When our second went to college it was a 20 hour drive away and we saw her even less. We asked each of our kids to call us on Sunday nights and that worked really well. In the meantime, I tried NOT to email or text or call them. We let them reach out to us. Of course I would have loved to hear from them more often, but I also knew that this was their time to grow and learn and build their lives, and that they knew that they had our love and support at home whenever they needed us.
It is different for each family, but ours was not a hard transition to empty nest when it happened. I had a European mom who held the apron strings too tightly, so I was determined not to do that with our kids. And they have grown into wonderful and independent your people.
I'm sorry you're feeling sad and emotional. It WILL get better! And just think what a treat it will be the next time you do see him!
(((Hugs))))
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PLurker
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Post by PLurker on Aug 23, 2015 6:51:54 GMT
Mine will be "checking in" to her college dorm on the 31st. I did not (surprisingly) cry at graduation. I've been doing better than expected. We were gathering her stuff and she is doing a major purge to her room. Lots to Goodwill etc. All good. Nice to get her room in order. Then she says something like she's almost done and I lost it. Just started tearing up and couldn't stop. She tried reassuring me she still be around a lot to bug me. (only 45 minutes from home) She's a good kid. Wish I didn't still like her.  Later I teasingly told her those were tears of joy as I was so happy she was finally cleaning her room! She laughed. Me too. But still tears inside. |
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Post by lucyg on Aug 23, 2015 6:55:12 GMT
awww, hugs to you. It will be okay. The fact that you're upset just means you're a good mom.  |
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Post by JoP on Aug 23, 2015 6:57:25 GMT
(((Hugs)))
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lindas
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Post by lindas on Aug 23, 2015 7:02:13 GMT
It's been a long time since my DS was that age but I know what you're going through. I was so sure I was ready for him to move out until it actually happened. I couldn't walk by his room without tearing up. Hang in there mom, it will get easier.
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Post by gar on Aug 23, 2015 7:06:29 GMT
awww, hugs to you. It will be okay. The fact that you're upset just means you're a good mom. Oh so I wasn't a good mum because I wasn't upset? Just kidding  Try and focus on and enjoy the new phase of your life too. It's fine to miss him of course but, unless you have younger ones at home, this is a new chapter in your life too! He'll be fine and so will you and before you know it, he'll be back home again! |
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Post by lucyg on Aug 23, 2015 7:28:32 GMT
awww, hugs to you. It will be okay. The fact that you're upset just means you're a good mom. Oh so I wasn't a good mum because I wasn't upset? Just kidding oh, I myself was thrilled when my kids went off to college.  My son is still complaining because I started turning his room into a sewing room literally the day I got back from taking him to college. |
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BarbaraUK
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Post by BarbaraUK on Aug 23, 2015 7:28:33 GMT
It does leave a sort of empty void when kids go to Uni but it does get a little better - eventually - honestly! |
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Post by gar on Aug 23, 2015 7:32:59 GMT
Oh so I wasn't a good mum because I wasn't upset? Just kidding oh, I myself was thrilled when my kids went off to college. My son is still complaining because I started turning his room into a sewing room literally the day I got back from taking him to college.  DD no. 2 moved back home this summer after being away at uni for 3 years and that was almost a bigger adjustment than when she left!  |
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Post by Karmady on Aug 23, 2015 11:02:56 GMT
It's hard the first time. I was much more nervous last year. DD can't wait to move back, 5 hours away for her second year of university. She has a new life there with friends, favourite coffee shops, book stores etc. I'm driivng her up to move in next weekend and she's super excited.
As for her room, I left it the same last year but I have plans this year LOL. She's not impressed but she's gone for 8 months minus a few breaks. I want to emply the room, paint it and turn it into a multipurpose room with a futon and desk for me and my projects. Her furniture is going to her new appartment anyway.
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Post by hop2 on Aug 23, 2015 11:14:46 GMT
It's hard. {{{hugs}}} to you! I droped mine off last monday. I didn't cry, she didn't want me to. I was emotional though. I went in her room yesterday and I did cry then. It's half empty and it CLEAN!!! |
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CeeScraps
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Post by CeeScraps on Aug 23, 2015 11:27:54 GMT
I dropped our dd this past week. She is a freshman. I got the text last night that she wants to come home. I'm ok with that text.
The texts that have been super hard are the ones when she was walking and telling me she is lost. She had to go to the health clinic. She ended up with a double ear infection so she had to go. Then, once she found it she made an appointment. She wanted to go to lunch. She got lost again. Yes, she was alone. Why? Her roommate wasn't there yet. She is directionally challenged to start with. She had a map, but still had trouble.
On the plus side she was able to work it out. She also went to pick up her laptop. She found the building ok. She was texting me the whole time. I suggested that she look for one of her classes while she was in that building. She wouldn't as she was afraid she'd get lost finding her way out of the building. I feel bad for her. I know she will be fine once she walks the campus a lot. I'm hoping she does that with her roommate. We didn't walk it as I had foot surgery and am having issues walking.
So, that's my college update!
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ellen
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Post by ellen on Aug 23, 2015 11:43:15 GMT
I'm in a hotel room in Fargo this morning. My daughter moves into her dorm today. This is just the strangest feeling that we are leaving her. I'm pretty good at being stoic when I need to be and I think I'll be fine on the campus. My four hour drive home might feel endless. I heard the song "Wide Open Spaces" on the radio this week - cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. Yet, I'm really excited for my daughter. she's going to a great school. She's going to love this.
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Post by hop2 on Aug 23, 2015 12:13:39 GMT
Yet, I'm really excited for my daughter. she's going to a great school. She's going to love this. Crazy isn't it? Conflicting emotions. My daughter is at a great school and will get a great education. I'm so excited to see her reach for her dreams. She's fantastic at what she's chosen to do. The future is wide open! And yet, the empty room, sad teddy bear she didn't bring with her just tore at my heartstrings. Plus now I'm surrounded by Y chromosomes! |
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desertgirl
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Post by desertgirl on Aug 23, 2015 12:23:39 GMT
When mine went, I deliberately tried to think of how it was when I went off to college and then on to life away from my very close parents. I know how I felt and how much I gained and grew away from my childhood life.
I wanted mine to feel the same sense of accomplishment and pride in herself. So I made a short list of things I enjoyed about my life away from home. And I refer to it when my heart hurts. I have not looked at it in awhile because I am so proud of what she's done and who she has become.
I hope your son has a great life; you clearly prepared him well. Roots and wings. Roots and wings.
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Post by Really Red on Aug 23, 2015 12:28:13 GMT
I'm losing my oldest two (twins) on Wed and THurs. I can't believe they are so close together. One 700 miles away and one 200 miles away. I am trying not to cry. They are very excited.
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Post by scrapnatya on Aug 23, 2015 12:30:38 GMT
The first time I dropped off my DD was the hardest. She leaves next week for year 3 and I will miss her! She's great about calling me, especially when she has a long walk somewhere and I have snapchat so she takes lots of little photos and fills me in on her adventures. Sending you lots of hugs, monicad. |
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 23, 2015 12:36:32 GMT
My oldest went last fall. I saw him at Christmas and haven't seen him since. After the latest semester, he went straight from school to boot camp. He graduates next week and I am so excited I can't stand myself.
I used to think that being a divorced family would help when they went off to school. I was already used to them being away for longer periods of time. Turns out, I was fooling myself-it didn't help. Going off to school was hard and I am pretty sure it wasn't the actual physical separation that was so hard, but the reality of the boy growing up, moving on, needing me less and in general the changes in how our family dynamics work.
The child tries my patience to a degree that make a saner person weep, but he is my pain in the neck and I miss him terribly. I am really excited to see him. And, admittedly, slightly horrified that he missed registration for this semester and will likely be laying his head upon a pillow in my house until the next semester (January) or until he decides to try to go active duty instead of the National Guard.
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lisaknits
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Post by lisaknits on Aug 23, 2015 12:56:05 GMT
{{{HUGS}}} to all of the Moms sending their kids to college. It'll be alright. I promise. After my husband and I dropped our second (and last) son off at college, we planned a week-long vacation to celebrate. It's an accomplishment not only for your child, but for you, too, to get to this exciting phase in life! It's ok to be sad, but don't forget to look for the positives and celebrate!
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janeliz
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Post by janeliz on Aug 23, 2015 13:00:29 GMT
I haven't BTDT yet but wanted to offer ((hugs)). I know it's a tough adjustment.
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Post by krazykatlady on Aug 23, 2015 13:55:01 GMT
It's hard. {{{hugs}}} to you! I droped mine off last monday. I didn't cry, she didn't want me to. I was emotional though. I went in her room yesterday and I did cry then. It's half empty and it CLEAN!!! When my oldest son went away to college I kept his bedroom door closed and pretended he was holed up in there. Strangely enough it helped. |
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Post by LauraTen on Aug 23, 2015 14:06:04 GMT
We took DS to school on Friday.
Everything went smoothly and I did not cry.
I did give him lots of hugs!!!
Even though he is a freshman, he had been on campus for a 5 week summer program, so it seems like we just did the whole dropping off, moving in thing.
We are excited for him and all that college has to offer : )
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Post by eventhinker on Aug 23, 2015 14:36:36 GMT
When we left my son in Bozeman last week ... I cried in front of him. He knows it isn't easy...but to be fair he is 21 and it is grad school. My parenting style was always pretty open so my intermittent tears for the trip our and the weekend we helped him set up his stuff...well that was normal for him
Part of the reason I was crying though was because we had a 28 hour road trip to get home.
This is their time and that can make it easier to get through it!
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Post by ingrid6 on Aug 23, 2015 14:59:29 GMT
Hugs to you! The bright side is he's only 2 hours away. I lost 4 of mine Friday morning and I was a mess. Heck, I'm a mess every time they leave! One is only going down to visit for 10 days but still, having 3 leave is hard. They are 15 hours away so the visits are few and far between. I will add though that I'm loving this time with Dh! Good luck! |
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amom23
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Post by amom23 on Aug 23, 2015 15:15:21 GMT
Be happy knowing you helped raise a great kid who is ready for this next step in life. Oh and don't worry....they always come back home!  |
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luvnlifelady
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Post by luvnlifelady on Aug 23, 2015 15:50:15 GMT
We just got back last night from dropping off our daughter. She is at least 6 hours away, really more like 7-8 with stopping and traffic. It's the 2nd hardest parenting thing I've ever done!
When DH went, he was able to call home about once/week. I can't imagine having such little contact. However, maybe it would be better that way. My DD already texted/called last night about a problem with her roommate smoking weed on their balcony (they share a student apartment). It's supposed to be a non-smoking building and the students need to go outside and smoke. Ugh. I hate it.
I hate seeing her empty room and now there's the messy house to clean up from the chaos of her leaving. We still have our 15 yo DS at home but he's more independent and busy with band, so it's going to be very quiet some days around here. Have I said I hate it?? We fought a lot during her junior year of high school and now I feel terrible about it. Maybe it's part of the grand plan, whatever that is though.
Good luck to you and all the other college moms.
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Post by malibou on Aug 23, 2015 16:02:40 GMT
Right this very minute, I'm thinking "and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." Lol. I have a 14 year old ds that is an only. I'm sure I will be a wreck when the time comes.
I remember my parents seeming relieved when my 2 older sisters moved out. I was still 17 when I graduated, 4 days later I was off to boot camp. The first correspondence I had with them came from a new address. They had packed up and moved, immediately after I left, to Alaska with my 2 younger siblings. I remember feeling like I didn't really belong anywhere.
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Post by mom2rjcr on Aug 23, 2015 16:08:24 GMT
I totally know how you feel. We left our son at his university yesterday. He is the first one to leave home. Our oldest is in college but he chose to go to school in our hometown, and he still lives at home. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, except for childbirth, LOL. He has high functioning autism, but graduated in the top 2% of his class, and earned his IB diploma. When he was a baby, he had so many issues. He didn't speak until he was four, he didn't crawl until he was 18 months old, and didn't walk until he was 2 1/2. The doctors told us he may never speak or be potty trained, etc. We proved them wrong! He drives a car, held down a job at Kroger as a cashier for the last 8 months, and has his first year of college paid for with academic scholarships. We are so proud of him. But I just left him 4 hours away. What if he needs me?!?! I know he will be fine, but I am not fine. He is an amazing kid!
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It will be ok, right? He found a school he loves, has a huge (newly remodeled) dorm/apartment, really nice roommates, and is less than two hours away. We are very lucky to see our son have this great opportunity. I know that, but my mom heart feels like it's breaking. I've never gone more than a week without seeing my kids, so this is a huge adjustment. He has this whole new life that we're not really part of, and it just feels so strange.
