|
|
Post by manda on Aug 24, 2015 4:18:38 GMT
I'm not sure how many folks really remember me from the old board. I really wasn't active the last 6 or 7 years. Guess I could use a few hugs tonight. Please no man bashing.  Almost 2 years ago, I met a guy who at first sight, I believe I fell for. He also felt the instant spark/attraction. We started dating a little more than a year ago. Broke up a little more than two months ago. Today we spent the afternoon together. I thought it would just be a quick lunch between our places, but instead he drove 30 minutes to my place and then we drove almost an hour up the coast for my favorite seafood shack that has my favorite: lobster. We ate lunch, came back to my place, and chatted for awhile catching up. Five hours. We have been emailing a bit back and forth since our breakup so it was nice to see him again. I think we both have mixed feelings on what we feel for each other. We're such great friends, and I at least, have a deep physical attraction to him. I cannot speak for him though up until our breakup, I believe he had the same level of physical attraction. Anyway, we are not together now and he has voiced concerns that he'll regret this breakup and we have both shared we miss each other and have some regrets. While there is part of me that has hopes for a reconciliation, I'm not stupid. People break up for a reason. Tonight I could just use a hug. I didn't realize how much I miss him until he left tonight. I really thought he might be the one, but also had some concerns/fears in the last couple months. We are each around the age of 40 so perhaps we aren't good at relationships. I just don't know. Thanks in advance. |
|
|
|
Post by chaosisapony on Aug 24, 2015 4:23:19 GMT
That's a hard situation. If you're both feeling regrets over breaking up why not give it another shot? Sometimes time apart makes all the feelings become clear.
|
|
conchita
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,141
Jul 1, 2014 11:25:58 GMT
|
Post by conchita on Aug 24, 2015 4:23:35 GMT
(((HUGS)))
|
|
|
|
Post by ntsf on Aug 24, 2015 4:23:55 GMT
hugs ..no matter what..we all can use hugs and also spend too much time wonder..what if? anyway...hugs....
|
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Aug 24, 2015 4:24:44 GMT
Lots of couple go through break ups before they realize they should be together. Keep doing you, but I wouldn't close the door on this relationship either.
Hugs!
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 1, 2024 23:45:06 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2015 4:25:56 GMT
(((hugs)))
Relationships are hard, yo.
I remember you from the old board, I even remember the guy before this one - or maybe several back. I'll PM you who I am from that board, but in the meantime,
Nah, it's just hard to find that one person! It takes some of us a little longer. I met DH 2 years ago and married at 43 (people always ask incredulously, "Is this your first marriage?" - ha!) and I know a few other people my age who also took their sweet time. Age doesn't mean that much.
|
|
YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,417 
|
Post by YooHoot on Aug 24, 2015 4:26:55 GMT
He spent an entire day with you, I think he has feelings for you. I hope you guys work things out.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 1, 2024 23:45:06 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2015 4:27:26 GMT
{{{hugs}}} Besides just saying be kind to yourself, I would say don't brush the concerns away. They are there for a reason. This is a lesson I learned the hard way.
You are strong, beautiful, and infinitely loveable. Age is only a number; you are not too old. You have much love in your future.
|
|
msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
|
Post by msliz on Aug 24, 2015 4:35:15 GMT
I remember you, Manda.
{{{ hugs }}} |
|
valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,626
|
Post by valincal on Aug 24, 2015 4:41:05 GMT
Hugs Manda. I remember the last discussion re:this guy (I think?)
Regardless, you're a gorgeous girl with lots to offer. Don't sell yourself short. Take care.
|
|
|
|
Post by gorgeouskid on Aug 24, 2015 5:09:23 GMT
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I hope it works out in the best possible way.
Of course, I remember you! We had dinner on Santa Monica at La Bottega with some other peas. Eons ago, in internet years.
|
|
|
|
Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Aug 24, 2015 5:25:04 GMT
Hugs and good thoughts. From the way you write, I think you have a good take on your situation, the good and the bad- you can do this. Keep the brain and the heart in gear, things will play themselves out.
|
|
ComplicatedLady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,037
Location: Valley of the Sun
|
Post by ComplicatedLady on Aug 24, 2015 5:31:54 GMT
I'm more of a lurker type, both here and on the old board, but I remember you.
I'm happy to send a few hugs your way.
((((((Manda)))))
|
|
The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,154
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
|
Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Aug 24, 2015 5:35:42 GMT
I remember you too! I don't have any advice just wanted to send you a hug.
|
|
cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,375
|
Post by cycworker on Aug 24, 2015 5:39:30 GMT
I remember you, too.
Sending hugs. Who knows... maybe you are meant to be with this guy. I wouldn't force it, but I wouldn't lock the door and throw away the key, either.
|
|
|
|
Post by anniefb on Aug 24, 2015 5:44:32 GMT
No advice, but sending you hugs!
|
|
Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea # 418
Posts: 4,218
|
Post by Peamac on Aug 24, 2015 5:52:29 GMT
(((Hugs))) to you! I don't have any advice, but I do know what it's like to think he's the right one, break up, and miss him.
|
|
|
|
Post by lucyg on Aug 24, 2015 6:58:09 GMT
That is such a hard place to be in a relationship. Hope it works out to your satisfaction, one way or another. Hugs to you!
|
|
|
|
Post by gar on Aug 24, 2015 7:12:43 GMT
Aww, hugs to you.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 1, 2024 23:45:06 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2015 8:13:17 GMT
Ok, tonight although it's Monday, just breathe. You said a whole lot of emotion in your post. If there's still "en" there it will keep coming back. "En" in Japanese means destiny. You haven't given up on him. If what you said about him is also true for him, then, he hasn't given up on you either.
I don't mean this cynically or critically, but you and he may end up back together or you won't. Don't go and do what I would have done in the past (pester him or phone and want to talk about our relationship to death). If he is a good guy and worthy of you, hang tight. He will probably want to work things out, as well. Let it happen, maybe.
|
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Aug 24, 2015 10:52:33 GMT
Here's something to think about. Who are "you" in this relationship? Do you feel like yourself, only better, when you are with him? Or do you feel like you have to change anything about yourself to be in a relationship with him? (Talk less. Act more outgoing. Pretend to love the arts. Examples pulled out of the blue... but you know what I mean.) A relationship isn't just about the other person. It's also who it makes you become. I agree with ScrapsontheRocks that you seem thoughtful enough about this to make a good decision. It just isn't always easy to do that. |
|
moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,173
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
|
Post by moodyblue on Aug 24, 2015 11:01:25 GMT
Spongemom had some good points.
I'd also think about why you broke up - good reason, no real reason, major problem? Is that reason still there or is it resolved? If not resolved, can it be? Do you want to work on it? Does he?
I was 42 when I married for the first time. It can and does happen.
|
|
|
|
Post by anonrefugee on Aug 24, 2015 11:19:43 GMT
Don't give a second thought to the "bad at relationships myth"! Do you think men who marry later ever think that? No!!! They remind themselves they've been busy with their careers, having adventures, or just weren't ready. By now it has a lot to do with timing, and everyone has to get to their own time. I hope this works out for you if it's meant to be. ScrapsontheRocks words were right... |
|
|
|
Post by myboysnme on Aug 24, 2015 12:09:10 GMT
I'm going to post my first thought without editing. It sounds like you both have chemistry/feelings for each other. If it was me I'd have a hard time letting that go especially if he was kind to me and I could learn to live with the things that sent us different directions.
That said, hugs to you and I hope you will keep us updated.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 1, 2024 23:45:06 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2015 12:16:40 GMT
I'd also think about why you broke up - good reason, no real reason, major problem? Is that reason still there or is it resolved? If not resolved, can it be? Do you want to work on it? Does he? I think these are great, thought-provoking questions. Sometimes relationships need second chances. Maybe even third or fourth chances before we get them right. Because we're flawed people. Do you think this relationship is worth a second chance? |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 1, 2024 23:45:06 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2015 12:17:34 GMT
I remember you, too. I don't have any advice, but I can send big hugs your way.
|
|
|
|
Post by BoilerUp! on Aug 24, 2015 12:56:18 GMT
Hugs to you!!!!
I think sometime people break up and then realize that they have stronger or deeper feeling than what they thought.
Keep doing what you are doing and see if the communication continues. Work at it and see where it goes.
I can hear happiness in your post, so don't let go!
|
|
|
|
Post by ktdoesntscrap on Aug 24, 2015 12:59:04 GMT
Hugs.
|
|
|
|
Post by Blind Squirrel on Aug 24, 2015 13:16:42 GMT
I'm sorry you are going through this; hugs.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 1, 2024 23:45:06 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2015 13:20:30 GMT
Hugs
|
|
