Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,774
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on Sept 1, 2015 21:57:50 GMT
Happening in succession with no pause in between calls Phone rings, I decline. Phone rings, I decline. Phone rings, I decline, they leave a message. Phone rings, I decline. Phone rings, I decline, they leave a message. Phone rings...I freaking answer!
"Hello this is C's friend B. I need to talk to him." "Hey B! Just so you know...you're calling the phone I use for work so you may call once and leave a message and when C can, he will call you back. Please don't keep calling over and over." "Oh ok. Sorry." "No problem dude! Let me get C for you"
Not two minutes later... "Mom B's mom wants to talk to you"
I have never met this mother. I have met the child at school when I've volunteered but just in passing, I don't know anything about him in the least. Mom goes on to say our boys are interested in going to a robotics class on Thursday nights and do I want to carpool? I explain this is the first I've heard of a robotics class so I would need more information. Her "Oh ok...well why don't you figure out what it's all about then give me a call. We can carpool so it'll make it easier. B will need a ride there and a ride home." Me "You know...I'm not sure this is something we would be interested in. If we decide to send C, we will have to depend on family members to help because of our schedule. It really would work better for us if I'm just dealing with getting my own child there." Her "Oh...well I didn't expect you to be rude about it."
What the ever-loving fuck?! The incessant ringing woke me up from a nap that I was taking because I have a nasty sinus infection. I feel like I was being punked!
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scrappinwithoutpeas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,939
Location: Northern Virginia
Aug 7, 2014 22:09:44 GMT
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Sept 1, 2015 22:11:43 GMT
Oh my! No, you were NOT being rude, just realistic! And last time I checked "carpooling" involved equal sharing of drive time (schedules permitting, of course)...I mean sometimes it's a little bit lopsided, but "my kid needs a ride there and a ride home" is NOT asking to carpool, it's flat out asking for a ride! IMHO, you were quite polite, especially given all the circumstances involved!
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Post by anonrefugee on Sept 1, 2015 22:12:32 GMT
I think I know that mother!
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,231
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Sept 1, 2015 22:15:30 GMT
Let me get this right, she wants to carpool with you because her kid needs rides there and back? She then says you are rude because carpooling doesn't work for you? I think you dodged a bullet on this one. She isn't looking to carpool, she just wants rides for her kid. She sounds special.
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 1, 2015 22:23:43 GMT
I don't think that is carpooling. That is you doing a favor for her. Sounds like she is pretty persistent and might usually get what she wants. Yes, she was rude, and she has also cut off someone who might have helped under different circumstances.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,359
Location: Dallas Texas
Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
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Post by SabrinaP on Sept 1, 2015 22:25:36 GMT
Holy crap! In what world is that carpooling.
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Post by karen on Sept 1, 2015 22:27:05 GMT
Giving her kid a ride both ways is NOT carpooling. Wow, she was rude.
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Post by abr79 on Sept 1, 2015 22:27:20 GMT
ay-yi-yi
I have issues with people with boundary issues and that mother has serious boundary issues. You weren't rude. You were truthful and upfront. Better than hemming and hawing and beating around the bush.
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,192
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Sept 1, 2015 22:33:55 GMT
Her audacity just made me giggle.
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Post by hop2 on Sept 1, 2015 22:43:40 GMT
On the bright side, at least you know now NOT to carpool with her ever. Robotics or not! She's not going to be a smooth 'carpool' ( btw how is it a carpool if your doing all the driving? )
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Post by bc2ca on Sept 1, 2015 22:48:04 GMT
OMG so much wonderfulness in your post . B went home and tells mom he wants to take robotics Thurs nights. Mom says you need to find a friend who is going so you can bum a ride. B phones C on your work line multiple times, finally getting through. B tells his mom C wants to go too. Mom needs to talk to you to arrange "carpool". I suspect her "carpooling" line has worked before and some other parent has been sucked into driving her kid before they realize what happened. You weren't rude, just quick on your feet .
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Julie W
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,209
Jun 27, 2014 22:11:06 GMT
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Post by Julie W on Sept 1, 2015 22:56:43 GMT
Her "Oh ok...well why don't you figure out what it's all about then give me a call. We can carpool so it'll make it easier. B will need a ride there and a ride home." Scratching my head on what part of that two way ride she wants you to give her kid is carpooling?
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Sept 1, 2015 23:00:27 GMT
Let me translate for you....
"My kid wants to do something. I don't want to do it, you do it. No? God, how can you not accommodate me!? how RUDE."
What was your response when she said you were rude?
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Post by melanell on Sept 1, 2015 23:01:32 GMT
I think I'd leave town the next time that number shows up on your phone. And yeah, you handled it perfectly. She was totally trying to foist her kid's transportation needs off on you.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,774
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on Sept 1, 2015 23:30:56 GMT
Let me translate for you.... "My kid wants to do something. I don't want to do it, you do it. No? God, how can you not accommodate me!? how RUDE." What was your response when she said you were rude? I was really taken aback and having a hard time not laughing at the absurdity. I just said "I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well and just woke up. I'm going to need some time to check into the robotics class and see if it's something C will be interested in." I should have reiterated that I was NOT interested in her new form of carpooling, but I didn't.
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Post by maryland on Sept 2, 2015 0:59:16 GMT
You are not being rude! She is. Why does she say carpool when she wants you to do all the work? It sounds like she wants her child to get rides, so she tries to talk you into it just so you give her son a ride. That's rude!
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Post by jemali on Sept 2, 2015 1:46:34 GMT
Yeah, she doesn't understand what "carpooling" means. And you bringing her kid to and from the class only makes it easier for her.
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Post by roundtwo on Sept 2, 2015 1:55:26 GMT
Carpool - You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means...
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Post by originalvanillabean on Sept 2, 2015 2:08:10 GMT
She has some nerve. You weren't rude at all.
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maurchclt
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,626
Jul 4, 2014 16:53:27 GMT
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Post by maurchclt on Sept 2, 2015 2:33:59 GMT
Just...yikes, there are no words for HER rudeness!
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Post by AussieMeg on Sept 2, 2015 2:57:19 GMT
Perhaps send her a link to an on-line dictionary (bold mine): How did the kid have your work phone number anyway?
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Post by scrapApea on Sept 2, 2015 4:17:09 GMT
Another reason carpooling doesn't work. People like that.
We tried it for rides to school, I'd pick up every day but the other guy who was supposed to do every morning would email me the night before, night before, he wasn't driving the next day. I'm like WTF, how is your kid getting to and from school tomorrow?
We no longer car pool.
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gramma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,915
Location: Sacramento, Ca
Aug 29, 2014 3:09:48 GMT
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Post by gramma on Sept 2, 2015 4:22:26 GMT
I can't believe you passed up the opportunity to serve such a special snwoflake. What sort of minion are you anyway?
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Post by miominmio on Sept 2, 2015 4:53:08 GMT
Well...isn't she special!
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FurryP
Drama Llama
To pea or not to pea...
Posts: 7,008
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on Sept 2, 2015 5:27:16 GMT
I say GOOD FOR YOU for stating up front that she was not going to be taking advantage of you (driving her kid). How is it carpooling if her kid needs a ride there and back?
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,395
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Sept 2, 2015 5:50:22 GMT
She was rude, not you. With the slenderness of acquaintanceships, she is ordering you about. Carpooling can be the stuff of nightmares at the best of times, this one smells bad before the off. Let's hope your child is not interested in the activity.
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Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Sept 2, 2015 7:23:35 GMT
Perhaps send her a link to an on-line dictionary (bold mine): How did the kid have your work phone number anyway? great idea. Then block her number
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Sept 2, 2015 7:41:34 GMT
I have found that often when entitled people don't get what they demand, their fallback argument is to call the other person "rude". In their minds, favors -- even big/serious favors -- are DUE them like common courtesy, so being denied is "rude" like if you didn't say "you're welcome" in response to "thank you." Basically, they are using that word wrong, in part because they think their prey will extend their neck if accused of rudeness.
True story -- years ago, Dh had a guy he barely knew ( from church) corner him at church coffee hour and demand a job at his workplace. When my husband simply told him the truth that all hires go through a process etc, the guy very loudly announced, "you're soooo rude!" My husband countered asking how explaining the hiring process was rude? Guy said that he should just be given the job without having to go through the "stupid" process and to deny him that was "rude". My husband told him the word rude does not mean what he thinks it means.
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happymomma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Aug 6, 2014 23:57:56 GMT
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Post by happymomma on Sept 2, 2015 8:00:02 GMT
Haha. I read the OP three times because I was sure I was reading it wrong. My brain was trying to find the 'carpooling' part of her convo.
I guess she wasn't kidding when she said, "We can carpool so it'll make it easier." LOTS easier....on her.
Good gravy.
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,539
Jul 24, 2014 19:51:57 GMT
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Post by MerryMom on Sept 2, 2015 11:52:50 GMT
If the conversation was as you described, I don't think your words were rude, but your tone (given that you hinted about being irritated from being awakened from a nap and also not feeling well) may have been a little snippy or terse?
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