twinsmomfla99
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,982 
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Post by twinsmomfla99 on Sept 21, 2015 18:09:34 GMT
I was wrong. I actually do have something to add.
I think you may end up being the first older/experienced adult that has this kind of frank discussion with some of these young women. ( and by older, I only mean you aren't one of their peers LOL.) I think it is quite possible that some may eventually confide in you about sexual assault or times they weren't sure if they were assaulted or not. If I were you, I would contact the college health/counseling center for literature you can give them along with referral information. I know a few counsellors who work with victims, and I am fairly certain they would see your parties as a positive experience. I am also sure they would welcome the opportunity to share literature with you that could be made available to your customers. You could be in a position to really help a student who may need extra encouragement to seek counseling.
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scrappinghappy
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“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say “Hello.” Goodbye. I’m late...."
Posts: 4,306
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Post by scrappinghappy on Sept 21, 2015 18:14:30 GMT
Oh, Steph, I wish you lived right by my dd's school. I'd be setting up a party for her and her friends ASAP. We have very open lines of communication and I can, have and do talk to her about all these topics but the things she tells me about her friends - ayieee. So what would I suggest adding... rape or sexual assault. How it can happen, date drugs, how to avoid it, and if it does happen, what to do after, how to go for an exam, how to report it, how to prevent disease and pregnancy. My dd just sent me this video. www.ryot.org/lady-gaga-just-released-what-might-be-the-most-important-music-video-of-the-year/943104The statistics are just shocking! www.nsvrc.org/saam/campus-resource-list#StatsIt is estimated that the percentage of completed or attempted rape victimization among women in higher educational institutions may be between 20% and 25% over the course of a college career. Among college women, 9 in 10 victims of rape and sexual assault knew their offender. Almost 12.8% of completed rapes, 35% of attempted rapes, and 22.9% of threatened rapes happened during a date. 2.8% experienced either a completed rape (1.7%) or an attempted rape (1.1%) during the six-month period in which the study was conducted. Of victims, 22.8% were victims of multiple rapes. If this data is calculated for a calendar year period, nearly 5% of college women are victimized during any given calendar year. It is estimated that for every 1,000 women attending a college or university, there are 35 incidents of rape each academic year. Off-campus sexual victimization is much more common among college women than on-campus victimization. Of victims of completed rape 33.7% were victimized on campus and 66.3% off campus. Less than 5% of completed or attempted rapes against college women were reported to law enforcement. However, in 2/3rds of the incidents the victim did tell another person, usually a friend, not family or school officials. www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdfwww.nsvrc.org/saam/preventing-sexual-violence-campusMaybe in the privacy of the relationship you develop with the girls, you may help just one woman or maybe many. What a blessing to be able to do that. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 8:23:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2015 18:22:15 GMT
I think the way you are addressing their parties is great. Teaching them to stay safe, Teaching them that limits are good and the whole no means no thing. You are kind of like their big sister, fun aunt, who they can "really" talk to and not be embarrassed. To me, it is a good thing. Maybe you are preventing bad things from happening to these girls because you are educating them. :yeahthat:Well said! and I concur! |
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Post by ilikepink on Sept 21, 2015 18:29:13 GMT
Just wanted to say good for you! While I have boys, who are beyond college age now, I can't think of anything better than well-educated women about taking care of their own well-being! Thank you.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,664
Location: Ohio
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Post by StephDRebel on Sept 21, 2015 19:06:47 GMT
I love the idea of getting with some campus organizations for literature. I've got some things to pass out with information on safety and reporting but the statistics are absolutely terrifying and a place to report and get help will be much more effective than just information. I'd love to have a step by step plan/information that is relevant to their schools and it shouldn't be hard to get it together for each school that I go to. Thanks!
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Mr styler
Junior Member
Posts: 50
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Post by Mr styler on Sept 21, 2015 19:16:28 GMT
I wouldn't expect my daughter to get information from a salesperson. Your goal is to recruit and sell, not educate. Why pretend otherwise?
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Post by nicole2112 on Sept 21, 2015 19:24:48 GMT
As the mother of a daughter who is a junior away at college I love that you do these parties! Definitely something that the girls need but in a fun environment with someone who isn't their mom telling them and reiterating what mom's have said - or haven't said - depending on the relationship.
Very cool!!
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,664
Location: Ohio
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Post by StephDRebel on Sept 21, 2015 19:52:34 GMT
I don't remember having a conversation with you about the goals for my business or my life, so how exactly do you know what my goals are? Not that it matters, but I have a certificate from the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University in Sexual Health education, i've completed another certification program on sexual health during and after a cancer diagnosis and am certified to speak to survivors in hospital settings and support groups about changes and needs as they're going through them and after I finish a few core classes (maths and a psych class) i'll be an AASECT certified sexual health educator within the year and as soon as I finish a psych class and a statistics class i'll have a degree in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. I've got enough training and experience that doctors are comfortable referring their patients to me, hospitals are comfortable hiring me to meet with their patients and universities are comfortable bringing me in to speak with their students. I must be offering some kind of service or i'm thinking they wouldn't waste their time, thanks for your opinion though! You really should do some research on Pure Romance, our company mission includes education and you'd be surprised by the amount of emphasis and training is put into making sure that the parties are about more than sales and sponsoring. from the Pure Romance home page- At Pure Romance, it's not just what we do, it's how we do it. To us, success has never been measured in sales. What we do is bigger than that. Our mission has always been to empower women. To give them a safe environment to learn about sexual health and to give them permission to know their bodies, strengthen their romantic relationships, and to encourage open communication with their healthcare providers. It's these experiences that have made Pure Romance not just a company, but a movement to enhance the lives of women everywhere. You'd also probably be surprised that Pure Romance has a foundation set up specifically to promote and fund research in women's sexual health education and have raised more than 2.5 million dollars in order to make a difference in that arena. check it out- Patty Brisben FoundationYou can assume that you know all you want about me or about my business, but to say that educating isn't a goal or in our mission as a company is just false. |
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Post by gorgeouskid on Sept 21, 2015 20:02:25 GMT
I don't have a daughter, but I would approve of my son attending one of your parties once he's in college. Both genders can benefit from information that you are providing.
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Post by peased2bhere on Sept 21, 2015 20:16:04 GMT
Right now I cover- Basic anatomy (female and male) Consent/No means no/you NEVER have to do anything you don't want to do (several times throughout the party) Protection/being safe There is an emphasis on the bath/beauty products and I do show toys as a safe, clean, disease/pregnancy/risk free way to learn about your body/fulfill your physical needs/know what you like so when you're in a safe & committed relationship you are able to communicate with your partner. You might already cover this in all that you say, but in working with teens and young adults concerning dating and sexuality, I found that girls needed a reminder that it was never okay to pressure their partners (of either gender) to do anything that they don't want to do either. I guess a message of mutual respect, more or less. Thanks for the valuable information you are able to give them. It really is astounding sometimes at how little information or how misinformed people (of all ages) can be. |
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,659
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Sept 21, 2015 20:22:14 GMT
I wish there was a way to teach girls the roll that alcohol plays in their choices. I regret lots of stuff I did in Collage while I was drunk.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Sept 21, 2015 20:25:05 GMT
Maybe you could start with Lady Gaga's powerful video of Diane Warren's song "Till it Happens to You". You can't watch it without being moved to tears. Link to "Till it Happens to You"Watch it with your sons too. Teach them to be that knight is shining armor. |
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Post by vspindler on Sept 21, 2015 20:57:32 GMT
You're awesome.
I have nothing else to add.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
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Post by raindancer on Sept 21, 2015 21:18:29 GMT
I just heart you as a public health professional.
I wish you could be cloned. Amazing job!
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Post by maryland on Sept 21, 2015 21:24:08 GMT
I don't have a daughter, but I would approve of my son attending one of your parties once he's in college. Both genders can benefit from information that you are providing. I agree! I think both genders need to learn about safety and how to protect themselves. If I had a son, I would want him to feel safe and protected just as I want my daughters to be. If both genders learn how to protect themselves, it would benefit everyone. Just my thoughts!  |
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,968
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Post by AnotherPea on Sept 21, 2015 21:24:34 GMT
Posting before reading ahead...
I want my daughter to know, really know, that using condoms is a must in college. Even if you're on the pill and in a relationship.
Because one - no form is 100% effective and dammit, if *I* kept from having her too early by doubling up (and tripling up sometimes) on birth control, she can handle doing it too.
And two - all it takes is one bad fight with her boyfriend, coupled with roommates that are having a good time with alcohol and friendly girls, for him to say "screw it" and have sex with someone else. Only to have her and her boyfriend get back together a week later. You think he's going to tell her about the other girl? You think he's going to insist on getting checked out and waiting for anything to "show up" before having sex with dd again?
Both of those situations can cause serious problems. |
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Post by zztop11 on Sept 21, 2015 21:28:45 GMT
I was also a Health teacher for many years (like a poster above). One very important item is to discuss with the girls that they need to love themselves before they are love someone else. Will they be happy with themselves after the sex with this boy is over. All the emotional stuff. You might want to look up college sex ed. curriculums online for ideas. Here is one site from Planned Parenthood. Good luck. www.plannedparenthood.org/educators/resources/activities-lessons/ |
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Sept 21, 2015 21:28:53 GMT
I was reading and reading and reading for the drama post. I was **this** close to being disappointed.  You go girl! Thanks for being ethical and knowledgable in your sales. I can't really add much, but like a PP said, I wish I would have had more knowledge about how alcohol and the choices made while drunk would have impacted my sexuality. Not sure how you could mix that in there, but I'm guessing humor is a great way. The "Don't be That Girl/Guy" campaign was on campuses a few years back and I think it was close, but not close enough. |
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Post by hop2 on Sept 21, 2015 21:36:27 GMT
I want my DD to know ( and I e told her already)
1. It's HER body to do with what she wants it doesn't belong to any future partners.( nor is it up to her father! It's not the dark ages he hadn't got any say) to Wait/ not wait it's HER choice!
2. Your products are probably 'safer' than a random person. It OK to explore. Again it's her choice!
3. Be extremely careful who you have children with, your attached for the life of your child to that person. It a bigger decision even than marriage. You can't divorce your kids and they will always have the other parent to deal with.
4. Be who you are!!! If that's not good enough for someone to damn bad. You may not believe me but your wonderful and worth the very best.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,350
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Post by SabrinaP on Sept 21, 2015 22:02:48 GMT
So cool Steph! You are doing great work and may even be saving a life. I think what you said you cover is great. I agree with another poster that said I would want my daughter to understand that condoms are a must, birth control plus condoms even better!
I love that the current generation is more open about sex and their bodies. Last year I had several of my 6th graders tell me when they started their periods. A few even asked to bum pads! I never could have done that when I was in 6th grade! I'm glad they are more open. Sex and our bodies are nothing to be ashamed of!
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carhoch
Pearl Clutcher
Be yourself everybody else is already taken
Posts: 2,991
Location: We’re RV’s so It change all the time .
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Post by carhoch on Sept 21, 2015 22:04:51 GMT
I think it's really, really awesome that you do this!  And  |
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Post by mom2ja2 on Sept 21, 2015 22:10:54 GMT
I want my daughters to know that if they do decide to have sex & the relationship doesn't work out, it's okay.
Maybe that's dated - but I went to college with a lot of girls who felt that sex = marriage. And when the relationship fizzled they spent way too much time chasing a guy they no longer had anything in common with, or even liked that much.
But because they had sex, and to them sex either meant you were getting married or it meant you were a slut, they fought for something they didn't really want & wasted tons of time & tears when they could have been having fun & meeting someone new.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
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Post by luvnlifelady on Sept 21, 2015 22:25:29 GMT
I'm thrilled you are doing this! My daughter is 18 and I would love it if she had a party like this at school or with friends from home! I think education is the best way to reach them but in a fun way. We are super open about things but I'm sure she's still curious about stuff she doesn't want me to know about.
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Post by kelbel827 on Sept 21, 2015 22:37:24 GMT
You rock!
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,825
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Post by CeeScraps on Sept 21, 2015 22:59:24 GMT
Oh....how far would you travel? I'd love for my dd to hear this from an adult who wasn't me. I want to believe she has a good head on her shoulders but I just don't know.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 8:23:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2015 23:02:43 GMT
I'm sure you've heard of Lacy Green - she has a YouTube channel and an MTV show on this topic. You may want to research her for more info.
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Post by lurkingsince2001 on Sept 21, 2015 23:09:45 GMT
Sexuality is a spectrum. Don't pigeonhole yourself or get stuck on labels. It's also fine to be asexual.
Some games, like BDSM, should be researched before trying so they have a comfort level before beginning. There should be a degree of trust there that probably isn't found with a random lay.
Things can escalate quickly in heated moments. It's not just about being able to say no and it be respected, it's also being able to respect yourself in the morning.
Own your orgasm. Show a partner what you want. But, if they can't deliver, don't be afraid to do what you need to do to get there. Maybe they'll learn something useful. And if they're offended or get angry, they aren't the partner for you anyway.
Know your body. Toys are great, but get comfortable with your fingers. You never know when something will break or you'll be out of batteries. Also, how are you supposed to notice changes in your bodies terrain (like lumps) if haven't familiarized yourself?
Sex is not a place holder or a way to keep someone or make them like you. Think about why you want to have sex. Because everyone else is, that person is so cute, it's your only chance with the hottie you met on Spring Break, or you are filling up an empty space within yourself, whatever. Obviously this introspection should be done before things get hot and heavy, as should any questions regarding the partner's motivation.
It's your sex life, not your mom's (or others). It's okay to like things they think is gross (as long as it's consenting and legal). And it's okay to set boundaries with them over it.
You're great Steph. Keep up the hard work.
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Post by RiverIsis on Sept 21, 2015 23:31:17 GMT
I want my DD to know ( and I e told her already) 1. It's HER body to do with what she wants it doesn't belong to any future partners.( nor is it up to her father! It's not the dark ages he hadn't got any say) to Wait/ not wait it's HER choice! 2. Your products are probably 'safer' than a random person. It OK to explore. Again it's her choice! 3. Be extremely careful who you have children with, your attached for the life of your child to that person. It a bigger decision even than marriage. You can't divorce your kids and they will always have the other parent to deal with. 4. Be who you are!!! If that's not good enough for someone to damn bad. You may not believe me but your wonderful and worth the very best. That should be taught to every kid every day a bazillion times a day! I know it has been the basis of some of the discussions with my lot. |
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Post by RiverIsis on Sept 21, 2015 23:32:47 GMT
I want my daughters to know that if they do decide to have sex & the relationship doesn't work out, it's okay. Maybe that's dated - but I went to college with a lot of girls who felt that sex = marriage. And when the relationship fizzled they spent way too much time chasing a guy they no longer had anything in common with, or even liked that much. But because they had sex, and to them sex either meant you were getting married or it meant you were a slut, they fought for something they didn't really want & wasted tons of time & tears when they could have been having fun & meeting someone new. Also the information that if you have sex with a guy doesn't mean that you have to with the next guy etc. Maybe attitudes have changed but I knew more than a few friends in school who thought oh well I'm not a virgin so I have to have sex etc. |
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Post by oliquig on Sept 22, 2015 0:31:42 GMT
I want my daughters to know that if they do decide to have sex & the relationship doesn't work out, it's okay. Maybe that's dated - but I went to college with a lot of girls who felt that sex = marriage. And when the relationship fizzled they spent way too much time chasing a guy they no longer had anything in common with, or even liked that much. But because they had sex, and to them sex either meant you were getting married or it meant you were a slut, they fought for something they didn't really want & wasted tons of time & tears when they could have been having fun & meeting someone new. Also the information that if you have sex with a guy doesn't mean that you have to with the next guy etc. Maybe attitudes have changed but I knew more than a few friends in school who thought oh well I'm not a virgin so I have to have sex etc. Too true. Also if a guy hints/threatens to break up with you if you don't have sex, don't have sex. He is already planning on breaking up with you. |
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