shann106
New Member
Posts: 5
Jul 11, 2015 0:33:12 GMT
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Post by shann106 on Sept 22, 2015 1:12:40 GMT
I think what you are doing is awesome. My dd is 17 and will be entering college next year, and this is all information I would like for her to hear, from someone besides me. She totally zones out or changes the subje when I try to talk to her about sex. She has been raised in church, and while I think it is a good thing she has abstained and wants to wait until marriage, I don't want her to have tons of hang ups about sex. And honestly I do not want her to wait until marriage, but that is her choice. She has been dating the same guy for 2 years and will not him French kiss her, because touching tongues is "gross",,lol. I want her to know sex is not shameful, it is not the end of the world if she has sex before marriage, that sex is fun, and it does not have to be all romantic etc, you can have sex just to have sex. That your orgasm matters. It infuriates me how many women have men that are so selfish in bed.
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Post by penny on Sept 22, 2015 5:25:39 GMT
Haven't read other replies, but my first thought was social media issues... Things like sexting, taking pictures, sending them, posting them, etc... Sounds like it would be a comfortable place for them to talk about why they may like to engage in those activities and how they manage/be careful about it... I think the majority of messages out there are along the lines of 'just don't do it', but if it's something they enjoy and that adds to their relationships, talking about how/why/when might help...
Not sure if that's more 'spice up' than educational, or if there are aspects you could include...
Body image and examples of different sizes, shapes, and beauty ideals... Models like Ashley Graham as one example... That their body image shouldn't dictate what they can try, participate in, or say no to... I wish I was more aware that blonde and thin wasn't the only benchmark... And that goes for styles too - preppy, tattooed, etc... That the concept of beauty is vast and varied...
And that curiosity isn't a bad thing...lol That it's okay to ask questions, read up, Google things... That it's okay to try new things and see how you like them... That's it's okay to enjoy and be interested in sex... That's it's not shameful and doesn't make them a bad girl/easy/etc... Also a good chance to talk about reliable resources for information...
Love that you're doing this!
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Sept 22, 2015 7:06:46 GMT
I wouldn't expect my daughter to get information from a salesperson. Your goal is to recruit and sell, not educate. Why pretend otherwise? Steph can talk about sex to college aged kids, but you have to use a dummy account to ask her this? LOL.
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Sept 22, 2015 8:39:52 GMT
You're providing a wonderful service, and it sounds to me as though you are hitting all the important subjects. Good for you! I'm pretty liberal when it comes to my daughters' sexuality, so I'd have no problems with this whatsoever.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,771
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Sept 22, 2015 10:16:36 GMT
A few years ago there was a woman on tv who advocated buying your girls a vibrator. Her belief was that girls needed to be able to distinguish between an oragasm and love. They are two feelings completely independent of one another.
I doubt I would buy my dd a vibrator, but this is something I think is important for her to know. An orgasm is the not the fireworks of love.
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tuesdaysgone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,832
Jun 26, 2014 18:26:03 GMT
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Sept 22, 2015 10:29:05 GMT
I wish I'd had this information (delivered clearly and without shame) when I was that age. After the basic "birds and bees" talk, my mom never broached the subject again. Only after a few good and bad relationships and many years, did I feel comfortable with my own body and know what good sexuality was. Keep up the great work!
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Post by anxiousmom on Sept 22, 2015 11:33:07 GMT
<<< Mother of boys, so I can't answer based on what I want a daughter to learn. I know you are the mother of boys too ( StephDRebel) so you will understand when me probably when I say that everything that you are talking about applies to boys too. I think sometimes teen boys get lost in the shuffle of making sure that girls learn to be independent women who own their own sexuality. A lot of the information for boys is factual, but there isn't as much of the emotional stuff for them. With the exception of the toys, I pretty much tell my boys the exact same things that a mother of girls does-although admittedly sometimes I tell them from the perspective of what I wished the teen boys from past had of known. They aren't immune to being manipulated by feelings, they aren't born knowing the difference between an orgasm and love, they definitely don't understand how to navigate emotional landmines without help...and please, do NOT get me started on how body image is as much a part of a boy's life as it is a girls. But over all? If we spent equal amounts of time making sure that the boys heard all the same information that we are wishing the girls knew? Can you imagine the amazing relationships the kids would have in the future?
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Post by bratkar on Sept 22, 2015 12:13:14 GMT
Steph,
I really think you need to go to Pure Romance and pitch this to have training for all the reps to do this everywhere there is a college or university. You could have your own separate division of Pure Romance that could specialize in this! I don't have kids, but I have enough friends here in Ohio that have kids in area colleges, that I have to say THANK YOU for doing this here!!!! Keep it up girl!
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Post by maryland on Sept 22, 2015 13:24:28 GMT
<<< Mother of boys, so I can't answer based on what I want a daughter to learn. I know you are the mother of boys too ( StephDRebel) so you will understand when me probably when I say that everything that you are talking about applies to boys too. I think sometimes teen boys get lost in the shuffle of making sure that girls learn to be independent women who own their own sexuality. A lot of the information for boys is factual, but there isn't as much of the emotional stuff for them. With the exception of the toys, I pretty much tell my boys the exact same things that a mother of girls does-although admittedly sometimes I tell them from the perspective of what I wished the teen boys from past had of known. They aren't immune to being manipulated by feelings, they aren't born knowing the difference between an orgasm and love, they definitely don't understand how to navigate emotional landmines without help...and please, do NOT get me started on how body image is as much a part of a boy's life as it is a girls. But over all? If we spent equal amounts of time making sure that the boys heard all the same information that we are wishing the girls knew? Can you imagine the amazing relationships the kids would have in the future? Love this! I have three girls and I feel like boys are always lost in the shuffle! So much is always about girls, and I think boys need to be given this kind of information too. They need to feel knowledgeable, and protected and respected as well. This is great info for both genders. If I had boys, I would be teaching them the same thing I teach my daughters. I think this is a wonderful program that would really benefit boys too!
And good point about body image. My teen daughters have so many great friends that are boys. They are over all the time. And they are worried about how they look, that they aren't muscular enough, too heavy, too thin, etc. And they get their feelings hurt too.
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Post by peano on Sept 22, 2015 14:51:13 GMT
<<< Mother of boys, so I can't answer based on what I want a daughter to learn. I know you are the mother of boys too ( StephDRebel) so you will understand when me probably when I say that everything that you are talking about applies to boys too. I think sometimes teen boys get lost in the shuffle of making sure that girls learn to be independent women who own their own sexuality. A lot of the information for boys is factual, but there isn't as much of the emotional stuff for them. With the exception of the toys, I pretty much tell my boys the exact same things that a mother of girls does-although admittedly sometimes I tell them from the perspective of what I wished the teen boys from past had of known. They aren't immune to being manipulated by feelings, they aren't born knowing the difference between an orgasm and love, they definitely don't understand how to navigate emotional landmines without help...and please, do NOT get me started on how body image is as much a part of a boy's life as it is a girls. But over all? If we spent equal amounts of time making sure that the boys heard all the same information that we are wishing the girls knew? Can you imagine the amazing relationships the kids would have in the future? Well said!
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Post by RiverIsis on Sept 23, 2015 1:13:42 GMT
<<< Mother of boys, so I can't answer based on what I want a daughter to learn. I know you are the mother of boys too ( StephDRebel) so you will understand when me probably when I say that everything that you are talking about applies to boys too. I think sometimes teen boys get lost in the shuffle of making sure that girls learn to be independent women who own their own sexuality. A lot of the information for boys is factual, but there isn't as much of the emotional stuff for them. With the exception of the toys, I pretty much tell my boys the exact same things that a mother of girls does-although admittedly sometimes I tell them from the perspective of what I wished the teen boys from past had of known. They aren't immune to being manipulated by feelings, they aren't born knowing the difference between an orgasm and love, they definitely don't understand how to navigate emotional landmines without help...and please, do NOT get me started on how body image is as much a part of a boy's life as it is a girls. But over all? If we spent equal amounts of time making sure that the boys heard all the same information that we are wishing the girls knew? Can you imagine the amazing relationships the kids would have in the future? Love this! I have three girls and I feel like boys are always lost in the shuffle! So much is always about girls, and I think boys need to be given this kind of information too. They need to feel knowledgeable, and protected and respected as well. This is great info for both genders. If I had boys, I would be teaching them the same thing I teach my daughters. I think this is a wonderful program that would really benefit boys too!
And good point about body image. My teen daughters have so many great friends that are boys. They are over all the time. And they are worried about how they look, that they aren't muscular enough, too heavy, too thin, etc. And they get their feelings hurt too.
Another mother of boys. We are very open about sex. That isn't to say my guys aren't shy about talking to me about it. I'm pretty certain though they have talked to me about it more than their dad, because I talk to them as young adults and answer their questions. I'm also pretty certain that my cheeky boys asked me the first time because they wanted to embarrass me. We had a good laugh and kept talking about the facts and emotions etc. Don't dread it. It's a great opportunity to give your kids good information. I didn't schedule "the talk" it just evolved. Of course it probably helped that college move in was a 9 hr road trip and overnight stay to be there 1st thing in the morning. Oh the things you talk about in 9 hrs in the car!!!!
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Post by pmm on Sept 23, 2015 2:12:23 GMT
I'm just going to jump on the wagon and say THANK YOU for talking to these young ladies. My own mom didn't have anything to say to me about sex growing up. When my kids were growing up I encourage openness; but, because of my own lack of knowledge I know that I didn't give them all the answers they needed.
There are still many things that I don't know and have learned here from the Peas. I just wish that I had enough courage to seek out the answers to my questions in a safe environment.
Once again bless you for talking to our youth. And for all I know you may have talked to my daughter and I'm just unaware. We live in SW Ohio and she attended Tiffin U.
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 23, 2015 2:18:30 GMT
A few years ago there was a woman on tv who advocated buying your girls a vibrator. Her belief was that girls needed to be able to distinguish between an oragasm and love. They are two feelings completely independent of one another. I doubt I would buy my dd a vibrator, but this is something I think is important for her to know. An orgasm is the not the fireworks of love. Some women love their vibrator. Something to cross stitch on a pillow! I remember her and was going to mention it too. She was all about empowering women to pleasure themselves and not look for a man to have to it if they weren't ready. I wish my mother would have told me about them.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,664
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Sept 24, 2015 17:37:09 GMT
Steph, I really think you need to go to Pure Romance and pitch this to have training for all the reps to do this everywhere there is a college or university. You could have your own separate division of Pure Romance that could specialize in this! I don't have kids, but I have enough friends here in Ohio that have kids in area colleges, that I have to say THANK YOU for doing this here!!!! Keep it up girl! I'm actually working on a little project. I'm working on an outline with info to change the parties up a bit and to give other consultants a good starting point to get the info to them in an age appropriate and entertaining way. I'll be training ladies around the country on how to connect, what info to share and how to incorporate products in a more 'party' setting and how to make it happen in more of a lecture setting. thank you SO much for your feedback ladies, I did a party last night for 45 girls at Ohio University and the feedback was amazing, I booked 12 more dates there so it's growing really quickly. I'm at Ohio State, Ohio U, or Miami 3x a week from now until the New Year...i'll take it! I would LOVE to be able to reach more of the boys with my message, but until I finish my degree i'm going in as a Pure Romance consultant and the company policy is 'women only' i'm working with some people at corporate to develop a way to connect with the guys too in a separate location. We're working on a his/hers university program where we would have two rooms going at the same time with a customized outline for men (boys! they're such babies!) I'll let you know as things progress, i'm really excited about this program! I've gotten a few pm's with people who want a party for their college students...if anyone else is interested shoot me a message, we've got girls in every state, Canada, Puerto Rico, Australia & New Zealand and I never mind finding a great team member that is close to you and we also offer online parties
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,521
Oct 11, 2014 3:17:29 GMT
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Post by bethany102399 on Sept 24, 2015 20:08:43 GMT
just. spit. water.
love this.
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Sept 24, 2015 20:11:44 GMT
I'm not sure this has been covered (forgive me, didn't read the whole thread ), but what about safety at parties (from things like rohypnol): protect your drink, don't use an open cup in a party setting, never set your cup down...that kind of thing.
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,742
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Member is Online
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Sept 24, 2015 20:38:41 GMT
I just wanted to ad to the positive pile-on- It is awesome that you do this and could be a business all it's own. to you for getting out there and helping young adults within your business. May I ask, are your proceeds just from purchases or is there a"party fee" or something to make it worth your while. The colleges should pay you to come! (no pun intended, but did just giggle a little)
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Post by lovemybabes on Sept 24, 2015 21:09:53 GMT
Kudus to you for providing age appropriate, vital information to these girls! I want my dds to know all the things you talk about. I hope that they know this information now, but having it reinforced by someone not mom might help them from rolling their eyes and thinking yeah mom, got it, without really hmfetting it. I agree. My dd 18 just started her Freshman year. We are a very open family when it comes to chatting about sex, and all things under the sun. Even knowing that we are open like this, I love the idea that you are doing this for young women. I think you are doing great.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,664
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Sept 24, 2015 22:40:13 GMT
I just wanted to ad to the positive pile-on- It is awesome that you do this and could be a business all it's own. to you for getting out there and helping young adults within your business. May I ask, are your proceeds just from purchases or is there a"party fee" or something to make it worth your while. The colleges should pay you to come! (no pun intended, but did just giggle a little) I only get paid on the commission from sales. The parties are always free. I've done college parties where I made $33 and then there are college parties like last night where there were 45 girls there and my profit was $806 in three hours. It all evens out eventually. It's nice when one of them turns out to be decent in sales, but it's really just my way to get my name out there and build a relationship with gals in a younger age bracket that will stay with me as they age and as their needs change. Once my degree is completed my goal is to travel and do university lectures as a paid presenter. I do them when I can with a friend who travels full time but for right now i'm happy just to be helping where I can
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