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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on Sept 24, 2015 0:03:12 GMT
This will sound long and complicated when it really shouldn't be, so bear with me!
DD is in the 5th grade. Next year she will leave Elementary School (where she has gone all 6 years and developed many friendships at) and go to Middle School. The High School in our district, where we live is horrible. We've known several kids that went there and have had a horrible time due to bad teachers and drugs being sold openly at the school.
Because DH works for the school board, we have the option of where we send her for both Middle and High School and we want to send her to the best High School in our district (DH works at the High School we want her to go too).
DD wants to go to the High School where DH works. I think it would be best to go on and send her to Middle School closest to the High School she will be going too (to make more friends now vs. later). Both Middle Schools are comparable in academics, so one is not better than the other. Neither has shown to have a drug problem, so far.
If she goes to the Middle School that is in our district, closest to our house, she could ride the bus. If she goes to the one closer to the High School we want her to go too, I will have to take her everyday next year (which I don't mind doing).
My question is, is it easier for kids to transition into a Middle School or High School?
Where would you send your kid? We know we want her to go to the High School where DH is at bc it is better academically and has had less of a drug problem. But should I have her make the transition next year and go to the Middle School closest to it, just to make new friends... or allow her to stay at the Middle School closest to home where all of her Elementary friends will go too and make the transition when she enters High School? |
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RosieKat
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Post by RosieKat on Sept 24, 2015 0:08:01 GMT
If she's feeling pretty secure about herself now, I'd vote for go ahead and move. That way, she makes friends while she's still feeling good about herself (working under the assumption that all girls have an insecure period sometime during adolescence...), and friends she makes now will go along to the high school with her. The down side would be if she goes to the new middle school and doesn't make friends...then will she still be OK with the good high school?
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JustTricia
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Post by JustTricia on Sept 24, 2015 0:08:40 GMT
I had the same choice and went with starting my son in middle school. I thought being new at 11 would be better than new at 14.
Also, there were several elementary schools that were merging into the middle school. Only two middle schools merged into the high school. I thought having a bunch of new kids from multiple schools together was a better chance than only two.
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Post by missfrenchjessica on Sept 24, 2015 0:15:20 GMT
I would make the move at middle school. Everyone is new. Everyone has a fresh start and they're still young and "uncool" enough to not have formed major cliques/groups. Moving to hs with her ms friends will make, in my opinion, an easier transition at a not always nice time in a kid's life (hormones, becoming more independent etc.).
We made a school switch this year for my children. My boys started 6th grade and have made an almost seamless transition. They're happy, they've made friends; things are good.
My daughter started 8th grade and her first week was MISERABLE! No friends; kids already have their groups and they're not as willing to let her "break in" to the group. While it's not exactly the same as hs, I would venture to say it's probably pretty similar.
Thankfully, she managed to find a nice group of girls to hang out with and has been much happier and less angst-y than that first week. I wouldn't want to deal with the upset she went through at the beginning next year in hs. This year was tough enough!
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Post by littlemama on Sept 24, 2015 0:26:10 GMT
Sixth graders are still welcoming and accepting, so I would send her for middle school. It's a lot harder to break into a group of ninth graders.
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Post by Basket1lady on Sept 24, 2015 0:27:22 GMT
There's a lot that goes into the decision. How secure is she now with who she is? Do the kids split up a lot going into high school, or is your base MS the only one that feeds into the base HS? Middle school is a pretty tough age for most kids. All they want to do is fit in.
We're military and both my kids changed middle schools mid stream in 7th grade. I was thankful that DS changed schools--his 6th grade year was horrible. Lots of bullying and it was a poorer demographic school, but they all but signed on the bottom line that they would get him into a prestigious charter high school. We moved before he entered 7th grade and he really thrived at the new school, which was a better fit both academically and demographically. We moved again when he went to HS, but it was back to the same area as before, so he did know some of the kids. But DS being who he is, he didn't remember many. But again, the school was a good fit academically and he really thrived.
DD was moved before 5th grade. Her elem school was the only one that fed into the MS. So she moved with all the other kids that she knew. We moved again in 7th grade, but it was back to the same area as elem school. So she did know some of the kids and did quite well. She went to the same HS as DS did and about half the MS moved to that HS. And multiple MS feed into her HS. She is doing well and while she knows kids from her MS, she mostly hangs out with new friends.
Hopefully that wasn't too confusing and helped some...
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Post by padresfan619 on Sept 24, 2015 0:28:49 GMT
I would send her to a new middle school. It is a melting pot of much younger kids who are a lot ore open minded at 11 and 12 instead of 14 and 15. Good luck on your decision!
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SabrinaP
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Post by SabrinaP on Sept 24, 2015 1:07:16 GMT
Move her in middle school. I'm assuming several elementaries will be merging into the middle school, so all the kids will be looking for new friends.
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Gravity
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Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Sept 24, 2015 1:12:18 GMT
My DH and I were pretty much in the same situation several years ago. We chose to send her to the middle school that would feed into the better high school. She made new friends easily in middle school. In high school, her closest friends ended up being kids from another middle school that also fed into the better high school.
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Post by bc2ca on Sept 24, 2015 1:18:49 GMT
I'd send her in MS, but honestly I have seen the better HS become the less desirable one in a 4 year time span in more than one district.
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Post by oliquig on Sept 24, 2015 1:26:32 GMT
Middle school for sure.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 1:26:47 GMT
In the situation you describe, I would have her switch in middle school. (Our kids go to a regional high school district, so you will have new kids in your classes in HS no matter which middle school you attend).
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 24, 2015 1:28:31 GMT
We had this same issue right down to the dad working in the high school. We did MS and only half of those kids were going to go to the high school. Friendships often reestablish themselves after every school move, so I don't know that it is critical decision. Ask your DD if she really has a preference. I can see having friends where she lives would be beneficial for the next two years though. In our case, both MS were out of district and neither of my boys had school friends all through school that lived within 10 miles of us.
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bethany102399
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Post by bethany102399 on Sept 24, 2015 2:16:58 GMT
We are facing this same dilemma, and preparing to move our DD between 4th and 5th grade. I want her to be able to have a year of elementary before heading to middle school with the same kids. For us, it's also about DS (1st grade) who is VERY insecure, and I want them to be together for a year in the new school before she moves on to middle.
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Post by gritzi on Sept 24, 2015 2:22:05 GMT
I too would choose to move her to middle school. High school was a huge transition for my older DS & he's usually quite outgoing. It was a tough start and was a continual transition for at least 5 months. Moving now gives DD a chance to make friends who will also be attending same high school. It might be a change for her, but at least she will know many students when she is a freshman.
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caro
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Post by caro on Sept 24, 2015 2:35:08 GMT
Middle school. Friendships start there.before high school.
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Post by maryland on Sept 24, 2015 2:41:35 GMT
If the drive isn't too much of a burden I would send her to the new middle school. That way she won't have to worry about making all new friends when she starts high school. Could your husband drive her on his way to his school(or maybe one school starts a lot earlier than the other)? Or pick her up so you can each drive her one way? That's great that you have a choice and can pick the school that is best!
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Post by smokeynspike on Sept 24, 2015 2:42:11 GMT
I would say send her to the middle school that feeds into the high school you want her to go to eventually.
Melissa
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Post by moretimeplease on Sept 24, 2015 3:17:23 GMT
I actually vote high school. Friendships & groups shake up a lot in high school. Middle school friendships are often the result of convenience (i.e.location), and will make way for friendships based more on common interests in high school. I'd rather be able to maintain my current friendships for another 2-3 years than be the "new girl" for both middle school AND high school. ETA: my DD just started middle school this year. She has not mentioned one single new person she has met yet. The girls who know each other from elementary school stick together like glue. At middle school age they aren't quite ready to be individuals yet, plus they have limited freedom and mobility outside of school for get-togethers. Thus the neighborhood friends are still the primary focus. All of this is just my opinion based on having two kids currently in middle school...  |
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kate
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Post by kate on Sept 24, 2015 3:28:36 GMT
How big "churn" is there at 9th grade? The convenience of a bus would be huge for me - but I don't know what your work situation is or how many kids/schools you will be managing next year.
In my kids' schools (which are K-12 but with separate divisions for elem/middle/high schools), there is quite a turnover in 9th grade, as some kids go off to boarding school and new kids come in from K-8 schools. If several middle schools feed into your DH's school, then there will be natural social regrouping anyway, and 9th grade will be a fine time to change.
OTOH, if the high school near you is bad for drug culture, etc., then I can't believe the middle schools would be so far off that mark. I can't imagine that a bunch of great kids walk through the door of the HS and suddenly turn sour, KWIM? There may be a culture among the kids that is conducive to risky behaviors. In that light, I would say move her now.
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Post by moretimeplease on Sept 24, 2015 3:33:55 GMT
there will be natural social regrouping anyway, and 9th grade will be a fine time to change.  This is what I was trying to say! A natural regrouping! |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 3:37:40 GMT
I actually think high school is a better time to move socially. In my schools, middle school was a hellish time for newbies and it was very hard for people to break into social groups. By high school, people had matured a bit and were more willing to accept new people with kindness instead of excluding them.
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Post by theroadlesstraveledp on Sept 24, 2015 3:43:15 GMT
Middle School. We moved between 7th and 8th and switched districts. I went to a better middle school and high school. It does make a difference.
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akathy
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Post by akathy on Sept 24, 2015 3:47:09 GMT
As a kid who was moved many times in junior high and high school I'd choose middle school hands down! Kids that age are still open to new friends. High school was a very bad experience for me and my siblings being a "new" kid.
When DH and I started having kids I told him he could move with his job only while they were in grade school. If he decided to move after that he would be doing it without the kids and I, even if it meant divorce. That's how strongly I felt about that!
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Post by chaosisapony on Sept 24, 2015 3:50:49 GMT
I wouldn't do a move in middle school here. The schools are not that separate from the elementary schools and all the kids have grown up knowing each other. It's hard to be the new one, especially in 7th-8th grade for a girl. Our high school, however, has middle school kids coming from 6 different schools. You meet a lot of people you've never met before on the first day of high school. To me that would be easier.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 4:42:44 GMT
I drove my kids everyday for 18 years.
And picked them up.
Car pool didn't work for us.
Don't let that be a factor in your decision.
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Post by Kelpea on Sept 24, 2015 12:08:07 GMT
We made our move from one side of the county to the other to coincide our daughter's last year of ES at a new school, thereby securing her new friends for middle school years. Little did we know (lol!) our new ES was being rezoned once again for another new middle school. About 20% of the ES kids ended up attending her middle school, so that was a bust.
She did, however, transition seamlessly to the middle school because of her personality. I don't know why, but she is empowered and projects a strong image and is able to get along with pretty much everyone.
My point is to ensure kids are empowered and lifted up by parents so they can assimilate and transition as easily as possible to new situations.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 12:21:15 GMT
I would move to the middle school. It's easier to start high school when you at least know who your classmates are. Not to mention there are many programs/activities that feed into the high school and she'd be more likely to have a spot or be successful if she does them in the middle school that feeds into the high school she wants to attend. (how's that for a long wordy sentence?) For an example, a good chunk of the second half of 8th grade is spent preparing the band members for high school band, including marching band.
If she wants to get into music, theater, sports, I'd get her into the middle school that feeds into the high school you want. Oftentimes, the coaches/directors of the middle school programs are also the high school's or at least work very closely with the high school's staff. It'd be helpful to her to already know these people.
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Dalai Mama
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Post by Dalai Mama on Sept 24, 2015 12:27:02 GMT
My kids did (are doing) both. Neither of them had any issue with transitioning in middle school because they rotated classes with all the same kids so they got to know their new classmates pretty quickly.
My older DS was lucky for high school in that he already knew a lot of the kids in his programme (vocal music) from outside activities but, in truth, most of the kids who are his closest friends, he didn't know before. We'll have to see for younger DS, who is currently in grade 8, but I'm expecting it to be a bit harder than middle school.
TL;DR - I would think it would be easier transitioning in middle school. |
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Sept 24, 2015 12:30:38 GMT
I moved my daughter in middle school. Her elementary went to 8th grade.. but I moved her to a charter at 6th. Everyone was new.. it was a pretty easy transition.
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This is what I was trying to say! A natural regrouping! 
