kmcmullen
Shy Member
Posts: 39 
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Post by kmcmullen on Oct 10, 2015 12:40:29 GMT
So annoyed, we had to travel to Michigan for my Dad's Cancer surgery last month. Not annoyed about that, he is doing great and it looks like they were able to remove all of the cancer!!
Annoyed at the rental car place - when we picked up the vehicle we toke pictures of the car. Every inch of it, I learned to do this from listening to Clark Howard here in Georgia. We also toke pictures of the full vehicle when we returned it. Well you guessed it, they sent us an e-mail the other day that the car is damaged and sent a picture with it. But after reviewing our pictures at pick up, the same damage is found on the car. My husband has now responded to their e-mail with the photos from pick up with a time stamp. But if we had not done this, we would have to pay for that damage. Crazy. So, the moral to the story - always take photos of the rental before you drive away - Don't trust them.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Oct 10, 2015 13:06:14 GMT
And inspect the car with their staff and make them note any and everything--it's not beyond them to say that you altered the time stamp!!!
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Post by mikklynn on Oct 10, 2015 13:10:34 GMT
Slight hijack...Avis told us we did NOT damage a car! We were in Billings, inspected the car, but it was super sunny and a white car, so we missed a dent. The next morning we saw the dent and thought someone hit the car in the hotel parking lot. We reported it to Avis when we returned the car. They contacted us and said it was prior damage!
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Post by salem on Oct 10, 2015 13:27:16 GMT
Speaking of cars. Just dropped my car off for a recall fix and I keep getting a message that the tire sensor is bad. Don't even get me started on how annoying those tire alerts are, but my real annoyance comes with the "honey" and "dear" and condescending attitude from both the service desk person AND my DH. I'm dropping the car off. The car I drive everyday. I'm pretty sure I can explain what the stupid alert says on the dash every. Single. Time. I start my car. Both of them are talking back and forth like I'm not there until I cut them both off with a loud "Excuse me, I'm standing right here. The person that actually drives the car and is fully capable of explaining what's wrong." They both just looked at me. Grr...
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Post by hop2 on Oct 10, 2015 13:29:47 GMT
Speaking of cars. Just dropped my car off for a recall fix and I keep getting a message that the tire sensor is bad. Don't even get me started on how annoying those tire alerts are, but my real annoyance comes with the "honey" and "dear" and condescending attitude from both the service desk person AND my DH. I'm dropping the car off. The car I drive everyday. I'm pretty sure I can explain what the stupid alert says on the dash every. Single. Time. I start my car. Both of them are talking back and forth like I'm not there until I cut them both off with a loud "Excuse me, I'm standing right here. The person that actually drives the car and is fully capable of explaining what's wrong." They both just looked at me. Grr... Ha you aren't in the penis club. |
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Post by Daikon on Oct 10, 2015 13:38:04 GMT
Speaking of cars. Just dropped my car off for a recall fix and I keep getting a message that the tire sensor is bad. Don't even get me started on how annoying those tire alerts are, but my real annoyance comes with the "honey" and "dear" and condescending attitude from both the service desk person AND my DH. I'm dropping the car off. The car I drive everyday. I'm pretty sure I can explain what the stupid alert says on the dash every. Single. Time. I start my car. Both of them are talking back and forth like I'm not there until I cut them both off with a loud "Excuse me, I'm standing right here. The person that actually drives the car and is fully capable of explaining what's wrong." They both just looked at me. Grr... I hate those sensors!! |
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Post by Daikon on Oct 10, 2015 13:46:38 GMT
Mine is a a job vent. I started a new job 4 months ago. I supervise 3 office staff along with payroll, tracking of various office items etc. The director of the department leaves me in the dark 90% of the time and won't let me manage my staff! I am under utilized and not being allowed to do my job duties after numerous discussions with her. I am dismissed because she feels threatened by me. She is a control freak. She took the position over a year ago and the department was a hot mess.
The last manager left for a better position, although I believe it's because of what's going on there. I sit in my office and hear the director and 2 staff members on the phones with our field staff, and the things they say make my ethical radar go berserk. I am searching for a new job, because foresight is showing that this department is going down. It sucks because I love the company but I am stuck in my position for a year before I can transfer out and into another position.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Oct 10, 2015 13:49:27 GMT
Co-worker: I'm not a sarcastic person (said while trying to explain his way out of hurting someone's feelings) ME: you don't think you are sarcastic? Co-worker: No, unless you mean to you--because you ask for it!!  ME: wtf?? |
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Oct 10, 2015 14:01:00 GMT
And....OH.MY.GOD. I HATE when someone waits until after another person leaves the room or catches you in another room to tell you something!!!!
1. Friend of boss comes into work to help with something, boss runs out for a bit and this friend proceeds to tell me that I am to stay hidden that he's in charge and that on another project we are all working on next week that I am to do XYZ (when boss and I are doing ABC--my part is the main piece of the project, friends piece is just fluff). He's done this before--worked hard at trying tonight me in my place, so to speak -that I am just an unimportant cog in the wheel, or that my "station in life" is that if a peon.
I want to scream!!!!
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Oct 10, 2015 14:35:02 GMT
I know you are a Math teacher... but geezus, edit your emails and if your grammar is actually THAT bad.. have someone else read it before you send it.
You sound like an idiot! I think if you actually read what you wrote you would see you are missing words and using the wrong context.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Oct 10, 2015 14:36:50 GMT
I know you are a Math teacher... but geezus, edit your emails and if your grammar is actually THAT bad.. have someone else read it before you send it.
You sound like an idiot! I think if you actually read what you wrote you would see you are missing words and using the wrong context.
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Post by sues on Oct 10, 2015 15:43:09 GMT
I went back to work three weeks ago. I'd finally had enough of my family taking me for granted and treating me like their very own personal assistant. I'd really started to feel like I wasn't factoring in anymore. I told my dd one day "You know- when I left my last job, there was no one waiting at the door to take my diploma away. Can you believe it? No job and they still let me keep my degree!"
I won't even bore you with the many ways they had come to express a 'no job = no clue' attitude. It wasn't there, for years- then all of a sudden, it was there and every week I felt smaller and smaller. The perfect job popped up- and I grabbed it. They acted a little stunned. But then they started acting like this was a 'mom's little hobby' thing. It made me furious! Am I curing cancer? No. Am I working? Yes. I am away from home 6 hours a day - and while I am gone, the usual stuff if not getting done. They seem to feel like this working stuff is great, as long as I find a way to keep everything else going too. As long as nothing impacts them, it's OK. I think the top of my head is going to explode, I swear.
I told dd yesterday that something has to give. If they only do what they are supposed to do - my life would be easier, forget adding more responsibility. But they aren't even doing that. It's not fair for me to have to do everything. But- every day I come home from work and have to leave right away, to take dd to an appt...or I'm stopping on the way home to grocery shop or run errands. I walk in the door and start cooking right away, cleaning up, throwing in laundry, emptying the dishwasher, etc. After dinner- I'm still not done, because there's cleaning up, helping with homework, running errands if I didn't stop on the way home.
The other morning DH asked me if I looked something up on-line that he spoke to me about the previous week. I said "No. I didn't. I feel like I'm never home. and when I am- I'm not sitting at the computer." He said - in this voice like he totally understood - "Yeah- it's been an adjustment for all of us." I almost lost my mind. I said "IN WHAT WAY??? WHAT HAS CHANGED FOR ANY OF YOU?" . He backed off- but he still didn't get it. He acts like he's doing me a favor by folding a load of towels. Am I the only one using towels? No. I am not.
Every week, I get a few more ducks in a row. I say 'no' or I delegate. I refuse to find a way to do everything...to minimize the impact of my working, so they don't feel a change. They need to feel it. They need to do more. I'm not anyone's personal assistant.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 1:00:26 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2015 15:46:44 GMT
I know you are a Math teacher... but geezus, edit your emails and if your grammar is actually THAT bad.. have someone else read it before you send it. You sound like an idiot! I think if you actually read what you wrote you would see you are missing words and using the wrong context. I've run into that many times. It does nothing to instill confidence in my kids' teachers when I get an email that is full of errors. |
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Post by anonrefugee on Oct 10, 2015 16:06:23 GMT
sues - I'm loving your post in one way or another! I've argued over the years my DH life is same as 20 years ago. I've absorbed all changes and adjustments and he goes merrily about career he loves, advancing. Yes, he works hard and feels responsible but he is on exact path he expected even 30 years ago! ETA I meant to type LIVING not loving, but it works too.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 1:00:26 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2015 16:14:46 GMT
My vent today is over the utter lack of care I see from my neighbors. On my block of 9 houses, only ours and two others actually make any effort to maintain a good yard and house. One house has junk all over the place. I'm just glad the huge bookcase/tv stand is finally gone. Next to them is a house that has not mowed their yard since late July. Sometime in August, the guy weedwacked the edges but nothing else. It's now October and the grass is a foot tall, well beyond the city's limit. Then there's another house that has about 10 flower pots, all with dead plants in them and grass that they mow once a month. They have this "garden" by their mailbox. It's no longer maintained. Then there's our next door neighbor. He doesn't mow very often. The wife won't do any yard work. Hell, she won't even bring the mail or empty trash can in. (she's physically capable as I know she works in the medical field) They have a pool in the backyard that they used once, covered and left it, turning our backyard into misquito haven. This is MI. Snow will fly as early as Halloween. It's still sitting out there. The city did a water line repair in their front yard. The city workers did what they were supposed to do which was put down fresh dirt and grass seed. From there, it's up to the homeowner to take care of it. Nope. He has not mowed that area so it's now a foot tall and full of weeds.
Our next door neighbor on the other side is one of the other houses that maintains their property as do their next door neighbor. The last two houses do a better job than the others I've mentioned.
I've told DH I don't like HOAs, but I might make an exception when we move. I really hate living on a street where half of my neighbors just do not take care of their property.
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styxgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,875
Jun 27, 2014 4:51:44 GMT
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Post by styxgirl on Oct 10, 2015 16:18:00 GMT
I'm ready for a break ... From kids' schedules. We bit off wayyyyyy more than we could chew commitment wise and we are paying for it now! Our youngest DD is in competitive soccer for the first time (two practiced and a game each week). My oldest DD is in Middle school sports for the first time. 5 practices a week and/ or games two nights a week. Then, DH put them on a fun rec soccer team with games and practices AND we are in 4-H, etc ... We've done pretty good, but I'm ready for things to slow down a little!
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Post by sues on Oct 10, 2015 16:21:44 GMT
sues - I'm loving your post in one way or another! I've argued over the years my DH life is same as 20 years ago. I've absorbed all changes and adjustments and he goes merrily about career he loves, advancing. Yes, he works hard and feels responsible but he is on exact path he expected even 30 years ago! ETA I meant to type LIVING not loving, but it works too. We are like the shoemaker's elves- right? We make sure everything that needs to happen, happens, and they never see the work that goes into it. (So they act like it's not work at all.) They go on their merry way to work and school and everything they need is there when they need it. In the 14+ years I was off, my husband advanced like crazy in his career. He was able to travel internationally for extended periods of time. There was never a hiccup that stopped his day. Car wouldn't start? Take mine. Pants ripped at work? I'd run out a fresh pair. Need a new resume and cover? I'm on it. And I was happy to do it, don't get me wrong. When I was a SAHM, I was able to do a lot of things I wouldn't have had the opportunity to do otherwise- volunteering, PTA, GS leader, etc. I had this great flexible schedule where everything could get done. I could help everyone that needed me. I was going all the time. For other people. There were many things I didn't do for myself because they weren't convenient for everyone else. But that was then and this is now. They need to roll with the changes. Some women can work AND get the rest done without any difficulty - but I am not that woman. |
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Oct 10, 2015 16:43:09 GMT
I went back to work three weeks ago. I'd finally had enough of my family taking me for granted and treating me like their very own personal assistant. I'd really started to feel like I wasn't factoring in anymore. I told my dd one day " You know- when I left my last job, there was no one waiting at the door to take my diploma away. Can you believe it? No job and they still let me keep my degree!" I won't even bore you with the many ways they had come to express a ' no job = no clue' attitude. It wasn't there, for years- then all of a sudden, it was there and every week I felt smaller and smaller. The perfect job popped up- and I grabbed it. They acted a little stunned. But then they started acting like this was a ' mom's little hobby' thing. It made me furious! Am I curing cancer? No. Am I working? Yes. I am away from home 6 hours a day - and while I am gone, the usual stuff if not getting done. They seem to feel like this working stuff is great, as long as I find a way to keep everything else going too. As long as nothing impacts them, it's OK. I think the top of my head is going to explode, I swear. I told dd yesterday that something has to give. If they only do what they are supposed to do - my life would be easier, forget adding more responsibility. But they aren't even doing that. It's not fair for me to have to do everything. But- every day I come home from work and have to leave right away, to take dd to an appt...or I'm stopping on the way home to grocery shop or run errands. I walk in the door and start cooking right away, cleaning up, throwing in laundry, emptying the dishwasher, etc. After dinner- I'm still not done, because there's cleaning up, helping with homework, running errands if I didn't stop on the way home. The other morning DH asked me if I looked something up on-line that he spoke to me about the previous week. I said "No. I didn't. I feel like I'm never home. and when I am- I'm not sitting at the computer." He said - in this voice like he totally understood - "Yeah- it's been an adjustment for all of us." I almost lost my mind. I said "IN WHAT WAY??? WHAT HAS CHANGED FOR ANY OF YOU?" . He backed off- but he still didn't get it. He acts like he's doing me a favor by folding a load of towels. Am I the only one using towels? No. I am not. Every week, I get a few more ducks in a row. I say 'no' or I delegate. I refuse to find a way to do everything...to minimize the impact of my working, so they don't feel a change. They need to feel it. They need to do more. I'm not anyone's personal assistant. Stop doing what your doing. Make a schedule. Don't be the only one to cook or clean. There are two of us. My daughter does her own breakfast and lunches, she does her own laundry,she cooks dinner once a week, she does the bathroom, I clean the kitchen. I wash the towels etc, and make the majority of dinners. We do some things together. On occasions she is busy, she does dance, theatre or singing 6 days a week besides school. So I pick up some of the slack.. then she gets out of the routine and then I get tired and say enough. You need to not pick up the slack until your family is used to doing their share. When I was married, my ex and I both worked full time, we split cooking and cleaning up. One cooked the other cleaned up. If your family isn't doing there share. DON'T do it for them. Its DH turn to cook and he doesn't make yourself some thing to eat, everyone can make there own bowl of cereal or sandwich. Let it be known that you won't do it all. Eventually you won't have to but it takes awhile to make that switch. ETA: That sounds kind of preachy. I just know a lot of women who won't take a stand. (not saying you) The only way things will change is if we stop trying to be perfect women, you know bring home the bacon, frying it up in the pan... la la la. |
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Post by gritzi on Oct 10, 2015 16:57:28 GMT
sues, here is my advice. LET GO & let them flounder! DD needs transportation? Let DD make arrangements w/a friend, her dad, a grandparent. That depends on her age, too. If she's at teenager, definitely put that responsibility on her.
Laundry? Let theirs pile until they're tired of wearing dirty clothing. Wash your laundry & enjoy having clean clothes.
Homework (depending on age)...tell them to call a homework hotline or seek help from a buddy.
Tough love ... It's okay to stand strong & stop being a doormat.
Good Luck!
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MsKnit
Pearl Clutcher
RefuPea #1406
Posts: 2,648
Jun 26, 2014 19:06:42 GMT
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Post by MsKnit on Oct 10, 2015 17:11:27 GMT
The change in weather has put the Fibro into hyperdrive and I'm having a terrible time working through the pain. I'm exhausted physically and mentally.
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,968
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Post by AnotherPea on Oct 10, 2015 17:20:41 GMT
I know you are a Math teacher... but geezus, edit your emails and if your grammar is actually THAT bad.. have someone else read it before you send it. You sound like an idiot! I think if you actually read what you wrote you would see you are missing words and using the wrong context. Guilty. In my defense I do warn the parents at Open House about my grammar and spelling deficiencies. And I shared with both principals that hired me. Just can't get the rules to stick. |
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Oct 10, 2015 17:21:29 GMT
And....OH.MY.GOD. I HATE when someone waits until after another person leaves the room or catches you in another room to tell you something!!!! 1. Friend of boss comes into work to help with something, boss runs out for a bit and this friend proceeds to tell me that I am to stay hidden that he's in charge and that on another project we are all working on next week that I am to do XYZ (when boss and I are doing ABC--my part is the main piece of the project, friends piece is just fluff). He's done this before--worked hard at trying tonight me in my place, so to speak -that I am just an unimportant cog in the wheel, or that my "station in life" is that if a peon. I want to scream!!!! I would double check that with my boss, just to be certain of course, that this was the boss's directive. |
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Oct 10, 2015 17:36:00 GMT
sues - I'm loving your post in one way or another! I've argued over the years my DH life is same as 20 years ago. I've absorbed all changes and adjustments and he goes merrily about career he loves, advancing. Yes, he works hard and feels responsible but he is on exact path he expected even 30 years ago! ETA I meant to type LIVING not loving, but it works too. We are like the shoemaker's elves- right? We make sure everything that needs to happen, happens, and they never see the work that goes into it. (So they act like it's not work at all.) They go on their merry way to work and school and everything they need is there when they need it. In the 14+ years I was off, my husband advanced like crazy in his career. He was able to travel internationally for extended periods of time. There was never a hiccup that stopped his day. Car wouldn't start? Take mine. Pants ripped at work? I'd run out a fresh pair. Need a new resume and cover? I'm on it. And I was happy to do it, don't get me wrong. When I was a SAHM, I was able to do a lot of things I wouldn't have had the opportunity to do otherwise- volunteering, PTA, GS leader, etc. I had this great flexible schedule where everything could get done. I could help everyone that needed me. I was going all the time. For other people. There were many things I didn't do for myself because they weren't convenient for everyone else. But that was then and this is now. They need to roll with the changes. Some women can work AND get the rest done without any difficulty - but I am not that woman. You've been given excellent advice. I've been known to make half a bed. My kids started doing their own laundry when they hit middle school, I worked full time plus and was tired of being a shoemaker's elf. They also started cooking once a week, along with the XH. My two grown sons and my DIL are all living with me now, finishing school and saving for a house. We have a weekly schedule. Since I pay the mortgage, I do NO cleaning. We all cook once a week, buying our own groceries to do so. We all do our own laundry. They take turns cleaning the house weekly. Since we are all allergic to grass, I hire the yard done but come winter, I don't shovel the drive. I made my expectations clear. You need to have a "Come to Jesus" meeting with your family. Have your calendar ready to hang on the fridge. Every week, sit down and work out who does what. If someone doesn't clean the house on their week, no worries, they can clean it next week when it's twice as dirty. If someone doesn't cook on their night, drag them out of wherever they are hiding and tell them to start cooking. They will do just as little as they can until they realize their is no other option. I would expect a push back from all of them but particularly your DH. It's nice having someone do everything so you can relax when you come home. If he isn't on board, then just start doing for you and let them see exactly how much you are doing. Do your own laundry, cook for one or stop on the way home and grab a bite, etc. Put your foot down now or you will be like anonrefugee and many others in a few years. One person can only do so much and why should you do it all while they relax and have fun? |
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Oct 10, 2015 17:37:13 GMT
The change in weather has put the Fibro into hyperdrive and I'm having a terrible time working through the pain. I'm exhausted physically and mentally. Sorry to hear that. I feel the weather change with my sinus headaches but Fibro would be so much more difficult. Be kind to yourself and try to rest as much as you can. |
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Oct 10, 2015 18:26:10 GMT
DH does something with Girl Scouts- instant hero! The involved dad! Yeah for him. I get 3 text messages about how "lucky" we are. How about none y'all ever thank a mom?? Makes me only a little crazy.   |
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Post by darkangel090260 on Oct 10, 2015 18:36:26 GMT
OK here is mine. DH is dragging me and the kids to a college football game, He got free tickets from work. The kids and my self could give a rats ass about the game and 2 out of the 3 of us are not looking forward to sitting on a hard seat for 3-4 hours in what may turn super cold and deal with a bunch of ass hats. Since the boss did not get the family section we will need to be dealing with drunks. I AM NOT HAPPY OR LIKING THIS IDEAL AT ALL  |
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Oct 10, 2015 18:43:55 GMT
sues, I hear ya. That is one of the main reasons I'm in no hurry to rejoin the workforce. I know you're scenario would be taking place exactly the same way in the Twisted household. No thanx. Hang in there, sister! And I agree - time to make up a new schedule. Everyone over the age of 7 needs to start pulling a little more of the weight. Kick some ass, lol. eleezybeth, isn't that always the way? It used to irk me when I would go away for the weekend, at least one neighbor would invite the kids over to give my husband a break and/or invite them to dinner. Where were these helpful people Monday thru Friday while he was traveling for work and I was on my own?! And my vent? If a car is parked on your side of the street, you do not get to swerve over onto my side, making me swerve to avoid you. Yes, it would be nice of me to move over a little to give you more room (and I often do this), but if I can't/don't, then you just have to slow down and wait til I pass. The obstruction is on your side of the road, not mine.
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,462
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Oct 10, 2015 19:00:14 GMT
The word is across not acrossT. There is no T in across!
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Post by Rainy_Day_Woman on Oct 10, 2015 20:09:49 GMT
My vent is more just a WTF? My husband is Indian, brown skin, dark features. My son is 6 months old. He came out pretty damn fair, and pretty much blonde. It took a lot of recessive genes to put that one together I imagine, but here he is. He's pretty damn cute. We went out today and 5, FIVE, complete strangers came up to us throughout the day and made some kind of comment about how he certainly isn't my husband's son. I get it, they don't look alike. But like, what are you suggesting? Are you accusing a complete stranger of cheating on her husband? Is that appropriate? I know you think you are kidding (though you don't really sound like it, nor is it really funny) but families come together in all kinds of ways these days. IVF, Sperm donors, surrogacy, adoptions, step-children. My son is biologically very much my husband's but so what if he wasn't? Just maybe it might be a touchy subject for someone, not to mention it's NONE of your business. If you want to make small talk, tell me my kid is cute, and how about them Blue Jays? End vent  |
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 10, 2015 20:55:04 GMT
sues - I'm loving your post in one way or another! I've argued over the years my DH life is same as 20 years ago. I've absorbed all changes and adjustments and he goes merrily about career he loves, advancing. Yes, he works hard and feels responsible but he is on exact path he expected even 30 years ago! ETA I meant to type LIVING not loving, but it works too. My husband was able to do so many more things with his career because he knew I would always have his back. Even though we both have teaching certificates, his income was much higher than mine because I couldn't do anything after school or on weekends like he did. When he makes a big purchase and says it is okay because he makes good money, I point to the kids and say that I made them. Thankfully it really isn't often an issue though, but I do know plenty of women who feel exactly like this. I did put my foot down about everyone helping around the house. I am the only female in the joint and the males in my house do just as much housework as I do. |
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