MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Nov 16, 2015 20:58:49 GMT
Seems to me some people are super sweet in order to get what they want out of you (wedding dress) and then, when you're of no more use they discard you. It's a very sociopathic kind of thing to do. Would not surprise me if this girl turns out to be a text book sociopath. ETA: Hope you're not paying for that hotel... A sociopath - seriously!?! She didn't want the rest of the family to wear the same color as her bridesmaids. She might have handled it poorly - but I personally know at least a dozen brides who's demands were way more unreasonable. They may not be my favorite people - but sociopath - come on now. I'll give you that. We're only hearing a sliver of the story after all so, yeah - sociopath is a pretty strong accusation. My apologies for snapping too quickly to that. I will say, though, she most definitely is acting like a spoiled, entitled brat. |
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Post by Darcy Collins on Nov 16, 2015 21:02:17 GMT
A sociopath - seriously!?! She didn't want the rest of the family to wear the same color as her bridesmaids. She might have handled it poorly - but I personally know at least a dozen brides who's demands were way more unreasonable. They may not be my favorite people - but sociopath - come on now. I'll give you that. We're only hearing a sliver of the story after all so, yeah - sociopath is a pretty strong accusation. My apologies for snapping too quickly to that. I will say, though, she most definitely is acting like a spoiled, entitled brat. And I'll certainly give you that. I have 40 first cousins - all but one are married, and several have been married a few times. Whether it was my cousin or my cousin's bride - it's a rare bride who doesn't act like a spoiled, entitled brat at some point. I'll even confess to not being 100% rationale at all times during my own wedding planning. I'll also say it's a rare MOB and MOG (and sometimes groom and FOB and FOG) who doesn't act like a spoiled entitled brat at some point. Weddings bring out the crazy. |
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 16, 2015 21:09:25 GMT
Oh dear Lord. Your stepson is in for a lifetime of misery unless he starts standing up to this spoiled brat. You know when it comes to the corsages, I think this is actually not fair to lay at her feet. I have been to a zillion weddings. Whether it was my family, my husband's family (which is centered in a dramatically different geographical area) or our college friends from all over the country. I've never seen corsages beyond the mothers and grandmothers. Now it's possible that some wedding handed out corsages to every female distantly related, but I sure as hell didn't notice. The idea that this woman from another country knew that she was supposed to give her fiance's stepmother, sisters, and some aunt corsages is ridiculous. Now why isn't everyone up at arms with the SON who presumably would be the one to honor these important women in his life. I agree, the corsage thing was not a problem. It's the whole tone of her way or the highway. It's unreasonable, for example, to not have an opinion about dresses until 3 weeks before the wedding and then decide to dictate what colors shall not be worn. |
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Grom Pea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,944 
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Post by Grom Pea on Nov 16, 2015 21:18:33 GMT
Seems to me some people are super sweet in order to get what they want out of you (wedding dress) and then, when you're of no more use they discard you. It's a very sociopathic kind of thing to do. Would not surprise me if this girl turns out to be a text book sociopath. ETA: Hope you're not paying for that hotel... I have met so many people like this, not sure if they are sociopaths but dropping you like a hot rock once they have what they want? Absolutely. I wouldn't pay for hotel stays either. |
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Nov 16, 2015 22:29:29 GMT
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I understood that the hurt feelings were not because of the lack of corsages across the board, but the fact that the bride provided them for her side of the family, but neglected his side of the family. I suppose that could still be a cultural thing, but I would hope that in the wedding planning surely "someone" would have filled her in.
When we were planning those kinds of details for our wedding, we referred to "The Mothers" and "The Fathers", not "My Mother" and "Your Dad". Both of our moms had the same corsages, both of our dads had the same tuxes (that they helped pick out), etc. We told our moms what our color scheme was and they each purchased their own dresses (the dress his mom chose wasn't my taste at all, but it suited her and she looked beautiful in it, so it was perfect). It wouldn't have even occurred to us to single out one or the other.
If the bride told the O/P that she could wear what she wanted, then she doesn't get to decide 3 weeks before the wedding that the already purchased dress was not acceptable.
I would have been pissed too - or at the least very very hurt. And I applaud the groom's mom for making her own corsage - that is awesome!
The OP said no corsages were made. I assumed that to mean no corsages were made. ETA and it may have been the bride's assumption based on HER culture that everyone would know that they shouldn't purchase a dress the same color as the bridesmaids, so was shocked when she found out that had occurred. I went back and re-read about the corsages, and even though I didn't interpret it that way originally, I think you're right.
I still don't give her a pass on the dress though. Even if she didn't realize that it was a cultural thing, she could have handled the situation much differently.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Nov 17, 2015 11:16:23 GMT
Whoa. Nothing but (((hugs))) for you.
That sounds like a stressful situation.
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Post by auntkelly on Nov 17, 2015 13:11:23 GMT
For your stepson's sake, I'd try and put the craziness of the wedding behind you, and start all over w/ the wife. I wouldn't hold it against them for staying at a hotel. My husband and I love our families, but when we visit it's easier to stay at a hotel than to stay at someone's house.
Good luck!
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Post by Zee on Nov 17, 2015 13:45:34 GMT
So much ridiculous unnecessary drama on both sides.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Nov 17, 2015 13:50:43 GMT
Kill her with kindness for a while and see if that smooths things over. If not, then be civil and polite and just keep in mind that your DH's son loves her so you should try to as well to keep the peace.
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Post by epeanymous on Nov 17, 2015 14:36:47 GMT
Honestly a lot of this sounds like normal family blending issues. She has her vision of how things should go, you have your vision of how things should go, and you don't yet have the sort of relationship where it is easy to read one another's cues and/or work things out without drama.
We have had much nicer family visits when we travel since we have been staying in hotels, fwiw. Plenty of time for family togetherness, but less discomfort and fewer hurt feelings.
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