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Post by Merge on Nov 27, 2015 16:12:18 GMT
Mine insists on looking like a homeless person whenever he's not at work. Ratty, wrinkled shorts that are frayed at the hem, thin white freebie t-shirt from one of his many runs, and old running shoes deemed too worn for running any longer. And always an old ball cap, frayed around the brim.
He has no problem putting on a pair of khakis and a button down shirt for work, but doing so for an evening out is just too much to ask. I look around and his peers are wearing khakis or nice dress shorts and a golf shirt. Jeans and a polo shirt and a pair of Sperrys would be a huge improvement. He owns nice casual clothes, plenty of them, and just refuses to wear them in his leisure time.
He's 45 years old with a professional job, and dresses like a starving 22-year-old college student no matter where we might be going. Out to dinner, meeting friends at a festival - same crappy clothes.
And he gets mad if I say anything about it.
Anyone else have a sloppy-dressed husband?
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Deleted
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May 8, 2024 16:26:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 27, 2015 16:28:37 GMT
Mine dresses VERY casually at home, we have no control over our heat, and it is always hot in the winter. But going out, his casual would be jeans and a clean tshirt, or button down shirt. Work is khakis and a polo shirt. I hope yours gets the hint, maybe when it is colder out, it will get better?? Good luck.
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Post by seikashaven on Nov 27, 2015 16:33:02 GMT
We both let our ugly out at home. I rock the braless sweatshirt/messy pony/leggings look and he will be wearing sweatpants/outdatedt-shirt combo. But all that ends when we leave the house.
It's a "situationally appropriate" thing. If work is important enough to dress up for than a date should warrant clean, tidy and presentable.
That would bother me tremendously.
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Post by snappinsami on Nov 27, 2015 16:36:38 GMT
When he needs to, yes. He's always been something of a clothes horse, and has some really nice stuff. A lot of his "bottoms" are jeans, but nice jeans (if you know what I mean), and he matches them with nice button down shirts or sweaters.
BUT...
We live in a fairly mild climate, and he's been working at home for most of the past year. His typical "I'm not going anywhere today" outfits are khaki shorts and a solid color t-shirt. That is when he's not wearing workout clothes. His company is opening an office in the next few weeks, and he might have to wear more office-casual type clothes to work. He's going to hate it. LOL!
Actually, it was pretty funny, because last night we all "dressed" for our Thanksgiving dinner out. DH wore his nice jeans/button down shirt/sweater. I wore corduroy pants and a dolman top. DD wore a skirt and top. Within 10 minutes of our getting home, we were all out of our "real" clothes and back into comfy stuff.
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Post by gorgeouskid on Nov 27, 2015 16:37:18 GMT
Mine insists on looking like a homeless person whenever he's not at work. Ratty, wrinkled shorts that are frayed at the hem, thin white freebie t-shirt from one of his many runs, and old running shoes deemed too worn for running any longer. And always an old ball cap, frayed around the brim. He has no problem putting on a pair of khakis and a button down shirt for work, but doing so for an evening out is just too much to ask. I look around and his peers are wearing khakis or nice dress shorts and a golf shirt. Jeans and a polo shirt and a pair of Sperrys would be a huge improvement. He owns nice casual clothes, plenty of them, and just refuses to wear them in his leisure time. He's 45 years old with a professional job, and dresses like a starving 22-year-old college student no matter where we might be going. Out to dinner, meeting friends at a festival - same crappy clothes. And he gets mad if I say anything about it. Anyone else have a sloppy-dressed husband? Is your husband my husband's brother?
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Post by anonrefugee on Nov 27, 2015 16:42:37 GMT
No. I'm not sure where the suit-loving, natty dresser went. He hangs off hours in 25 year old polos and sweaters, khaki shorts that may, or may not, have pool chlorine on them.
And this has become public wear too. It's getting to me, and makes him look older, out of touch. He is not.
I get we all should dress like we want, but raise the bar man. Raise the bar!
ETA DH is 60.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
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Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Nov 27, 2015 16:42:11 GMT
Remember no matter what he says, does or wears is no reflection on you. People don't look at his clothing choices and wonder what's wrong with you any more than they look at your clothing choices and wonder what's wrong with him.
Once I realized that in my marriage it got a lot easier to accept that my late DH and I had different views on appropriate clothing and it was ok.
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Post by cyndijane on Nov 27, 2015 16:43:37 GMT
Mine insists on looking like a homeless person whenever he's not at work. Ratty, wrinkled shorts that are frayed at the hem, thin white freebie t-shirt from one of his many runs, and old running shoes deemed too worn for running any longer. And always an old ball cap, frayed around the brim. He has no problem putting on a pair of khakis and a button down shirt for work, but doing so for an evening out is just too much to ask. I look around and his peers are wearing khakis or nice dress shorts and a golf shirt. Jeans and a polo shirt and a pair of Sperrys would be a huge improvement. He owns nice casual clothes, plenty of them, and just refuses to wear them in his leisure time. He's 45 years old with a professional job, and dresses like a starving 22-year-old college student no matter where we might be going. Out to dinner, meeting friends at a festival - same crappy clothes. And he gets mad if I say anything about it. Anyone else have a sloppy-dressed husband? Is your husband my husband's brother? Mine is a very close cousin.
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Post by anonrefugee on Nov 27, 2015 16:43:58 GMT
Remember no matter what he says, does or wears is no reflection on you. People don't look at his clothing choices and wonder what's wrong with you any more than they look at your clothing choices and order what's w ong with him. Once I realized that in my marriage it got a lot easier to accept that my late DH and I had different views on appropriate clothing and it was ok. I want to be this way...and have been married long enough I should get it. Pass on any tips, akathy thank you.
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Deleted
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May 8, 2024 16:26:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 27, 2015 16:59:52 GMT
No, I can thankfully say for all my husband's quirks, this isn't one of them. He enjoys dressing up. His sense of style was one of the first things I noticed about him.
When we go out, he takes longer to get ready. Everything has to be ironed and neat. And his shoes have to match his belt.
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
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Jun 26, 2014 12:25:29 GMT
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Post by oldcrow on Nov 27, 2015 17:01:44 GMT
Is your husband my husband's brother? Mine is a very close cousin. This is getting to be a very large family.
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Post by happymom on Nov 27, 2015 17:06:26 GMT
He has very nice dress clothes and I have helped him step up his causal game.
In fact the Thanksgving joke was that the young men were talking about if H & M was open on Black Friday. Hubby says, what's this? What is that? And they told him. He said Oh, I have my clothes made. He has in the past and loves those suits and dress shirts.
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Post by padresfan619 on Nov 27, 2015 17:07:09 GMT
If he could wear a t shirt, jeans, and flip flops every day he would. Add on a hoodie when it gets chilly. He will dress up if I ask him to, but it does take a lot to get him to wear dress shoes or dress pants outside of work. I work in manufacturing so I wear crappy clothes to work every day, I find myself dressing up more on weekends because I feel so sloppy during the week.
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Post by compwalla on Nov 27, 2015 17:08:53 GMT
Off work DH wears what I called middle-aged dad uniform: golf shorts or jeans and a polo shirt. But he does have nice clothes and will gladly put them on when we are going someplace that requires it. Around the house he wears basketball shorts and t-shirts but he won't leave the house in them - mostly because his basketball shorts have no pockets and no place to put his wallet. I don't mind that he wears shorts all the time; he has great legs.
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Post by femalebusiness on Nov 27, 2015 17:13:14 GMT
My husband was a GQ suit and tie guy during his working years. He has a great body and always looked sharp...until he retired. He put on overalls and T-shirts and has never looked back. I couldn't care less. He always looks good to me.
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ellen
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Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Nov 27, 2015 17:25:45 GMT
My husband looks fine at work and when we go places where you should try to look decent. I have had occasions where I have seen my husband from a distance at a place like Lowes and thought, "Oh my God, that homeless man is my husband."
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 27, 2015 17:37:28 GMT
Is your husband my husband's brother? Mine is a very close cousin. Mine too. He works in a skilled trade and gets all kinds of stuff on his clothes at work that doesn't wash off. He wears his non-work clothes until they fall apart and gets mad if I throw them away. Any time I buy him something nice with the hope that he'll have something decent to wear if we ever do have to go somewhere, he will almost immediately (and completely unthinkingly) wear it to do something like stain the deck with permanent deck stain, paint something, change the oil in the car, chop some brush in the back yard or clean the garage. Apparently, it's not in his skill set to set aside a few coordinating outfits to wear *only* when he needs to look presentable, and think to put on his ratty old stuff for messy projects. He does the same with DD when he's in charge of her too. He'll let her put on some nice brand NEW thing I got her for school and then let her play in the dirt, give her Spaghettios or some other sloppy, staining stuff for lunch, and then finish off the day by letting her paint or use non-washable markers and get the crap everywhere. I bought her brand new shoes for school, and the very next weekend he took her to a friend's farm and let her wear them to help plant a field of pumpkins where they got full of dirt inside and filthy. The two of them together are my worst stain nightmares come to life!
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Post by bc2ca on Nov 27, 2015 17:44:21 GMT
Mine is definitely lives in old Tshirts and shorts around the house and won't hesitate to stay in them for a run to Home Depot or an auto supply store, which may turn into a stop at the grocery store or B&N. He does step it up for anything else. The only thing I don't like seeing him in is logo golf shirts for his or other companies.
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Judy26
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MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
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Post by Judy26 on Nov 27, 2015 17:56:24 GMT
BWaHAHaHaHa!!! How does white socks and sandals with old t-shirts and old man saggy jeans sound? I try, I really do. I buy him nice stuff but he never wears it. He's been retired for many years and was recently asked to take over a head coaching job at a private college so I'm hoping he will see the light and start dressing a bit more professionally. The college is in W.VA so he seems to think his style will fit right in.
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Post by monicad on Nov 27, 2015 17:57:45 GMT
No. His favorite outfit is jeans, a t-shirt we picked up on some trip (could be ten plus years ago) and beat up Nikes. I am on a mission to revamp his wardrobe; sent two bags to Goodwill the other day and one in the trash. It's like, you're 44 years old...can we step it up a little? LOL I'm going to start adding new pieces little by little until there's a good mix, and if I have to start picking clothes out...so be it.
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paget
Drama Llama
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Nov 27, 2015 18:02:08 GMT
If anything, I have the opposite problem. My dh tries to dress up too Much (imo) for what we are doing. Most of the time he is fine. He might not have my preferred style sometimes but he always looks good. He doesn't even own any ratty t shirts- they are all a nicer kind. He throws stuff away himself like socks and underwater when it gets old. So for all the issues I think dh has, at least he doesn't have this one!
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Post by melanell on Nov 27, 2015 18:02:55 GMT
At home, indoors, we all go for comfort first, which sometimes means sad looking clothing or pajamas. But outside or out and about, DH wears khakis of various colors all of the time, and then depending on the time of year he typically wears either a short sleeve polo or a long sleeve button down. Casual ones, though. In the summer he'll wear shorts most places, but he prefers shorts that still look like khakis. He's not interested in long cargo shorts or athletic shorts (well, except for when he's on his bike).
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johnnysmom
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Nov 27, 2015 18:05:48 GMT
I wish! My dh is the opposite end of the spectrum. He does have some stained t-shirts/shorts for working in the yard but unless he's actually working in the yard they don't get worn. When we leave the house he looks decent and is picky about the rest of us as well. If the kids have on older clothes or something they have to change. He also doesn't believe in "pajama days" on lazy weekends he gets pissy if anyone is in PJs beyond morning, and this includes yoga pants, if he had his way they'd be banned from the world (except maybe yoga studios.....maybe). His parents really screwed him up somewhere when he was young
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 27, 2015 18:11:44 GMT
When I met DH, he had just started his first job after getting a second degree (he also has a electrical engineering degree but hated the job he got with it). His new job was super casual and he could continue to dress like a college student, just with less logo/graphic Tees and more regular polos. He rarely tucked in his shirts, never had to wear khakis except to interviews, only had one really out-dated tie he picked up at Goodwill. His jeans were super baggy (extra loose but at least he wore them above his butt). He's so lean that he looked like he was wearing his Dad's jeans. I got him to stop wearing long sleeve shirts under short sleeves, convinced him to try straight fit jeans instead of loose, and got him more button down shirts that were actually his size. At home, his style is always jeans and whatever shirt was comfortable, but they're finally fitting him better instead of looking like hand-me-downs.
Then he got this new job. Khakis or dress pants are required. Button-down shirts or polos are required. Ties are optional for the lower tier guys but the higher ups wear them most days. Shirts have to be tucked in. While the job is still pretty casual, it is a step above his previous job. He finally listened to me and now has several dress shirts that are slim fit as well as pants that are better fitting. He is developing a habit of tucking in some of his shirts and is favoring the better fit jeans over the baggy ones. Sometimes, when we go out, I feel like he's better dressed than I am!
He's finally saving the ratty stuff for when he's working in the yard or doing some other project that may do permanent damage to his clothes.
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Montannie
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Post by Montannie on Nov 27, 2015 18:11:58 GMT
I feel your pain!
I've adopted akathy's attitude, and it played out in real life like this: We were at a football game at his alma mater (he's a season ticket holder). It's a warmish day, and he's just wearing some tired old jeans and an ancient team t-shirt. It is full of tiny holes, tears, etc. The logo is very faded.
The guys behind us asked me "Is that how you let him dress?" I told them he was an adult, and how he dressed was his choice. They ribbed him hard, and the next home game presented him with a new shirt!
He will now occasionally ask me "Should I change?" before we go somewhere. Peer pressure apparently works!
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tuesdaysgone
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Nov 27, 2015 18:14:11 GMT
Feeling some sisterly comradery in this thread. He wears a nice polo shirt and Dockers to work, but if he's not on the clock, he dresses like a slob. Last Friday night is a case in point; we went to a nice restaurant and then out to a comedy club. I wore a black pencil skirt, boots and a sweater...he wore some old Dockers with badly frayed hems and a stained sweat shirt. If anybody noticed or cared, who gives a toot?! Early in our marriage it made me crazy, and now I really don't care. He's his own man, not my son. If the occasion calls for dress up, I dress like I want. I love him dearly, but in this area of his life, he will never change.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 27, 2015 18:20:02 GMT
He is a pretty nice dresser and the times he wears loud, wild things which he really enjoys, I kind of like how delighted he is. How happy can crazy patterned pants make someone?! Really happy, you guys. We've had a gentle discussion about how two colors that are close should not be worn together, but I don't actually care if he wants to wear taupe and beige together. He takes some gentle guidance, we're fairly against the idea of partners trying to change one another, so I wouldn't go there unless he asked (which he did about the taupe pants and beige fleece, ugh). He, on the other hand, has let me know he really hates my platform flip flops. But he would never ask me to not wear them.
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Post by vspindler on Nov 27, 2015 18:39:09 GMT
<snort>
How my dh dresses is a bit of a joke in the family. For his brother's bachelor party the guys were told to dress in their "Saturday going out" attire. Most of the guys were in khakis, casual button down shirts, etc. Dh was there in his cargo shorts and old logo tshirt (old, not "vintage"). For almost two decades he had a work uniform that consisted of a work logo polo and khakis, but when he got a new position he had to start dressing nicer. I have been helping him make the shift-bought him some actual dress pants he could wear everyday, for example. When he packed for a work conference with his pile of new dress pants and then proceeded to add six pairs of white athletic socks I got him some more black socks. When I noticed he had turned a logo tshirt inside out to wear under a light colored dress shirt I got him some plain undershirts. I recently introduced him to wrinkle releaser too.
what is ironic is that I am married to someone who knows enough about colors to be able to tell me if my blacks match ("that one has more of a greenish cast") yet he wore olive green pants with a grey and purple tie recently.
there are times I wish he would make more of an effort but for the most part that is just how he is. He doesn't see the value and therefore can't be bothered.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 27, 2015 18:47:19 GMT
My DH is currently wearing a pair of ripped up jeans I would have thrown away three years ago. He's a nurse and wears scrubs to work so he doesn't even get dressed up for work. I have tried and tried to buy him better clothes, but he complains constantly. The other jeans don't fit right, they are too tight when they fit his butt right, he says. It drives me nuts. I always look put together, for work and on the weekends. I am not seen in public in a pair of yoga pants. So the fact that I can't seem to get DH to dress nicely when we go out drives me nuts.
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Post by cmpeter on Nov 27, 2015 19:04:13 GMT
Mine is a pretty decent dresser, not too over the top about it though. His casual is a pair of jeans and an Under Armour long sleeve shirt or 1/2 zip hoodie, he's into sporty casual. They only time he wears ripped or stained clothes is if he's doing yard work or working on his old car that he is restoring.
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