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Post by Zee on Jul 26, 2014 20:49:34 GMT
How can anyone answer this if they don't know how you were "done wrong"? It makes a difference! If it was that bad, move along and don't pursue it, especially if it hurt your children.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 8:27:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2014 20:50:56 GMT
Without knowing more, I couldn't say-sorry.
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Post by Sassenach on Jul 26, 2014 20:51:36 GMT
Ummm...sorry I got nothing!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 8:27:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2014 20:53:04 GMT
I'm going to assume that they didn't do anything *really* awful, like harass or attack you all, or maim your cat or something.
If you like the people, forgive them for what they did and move on. Enjoy being friends with them.
I will say that when we had on-going issues with our former neighbours and friends, that I chose not to pursue the friendship any further. Because her repeated behaviour indicated to me what kind of person she was, and I was tired of dealing with it. I didn't like her or enjoy her company and I didn't miss her friendship.
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
Jun 26, 2014 12:25:29 GMT
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Post by oldcrow on Jul 26, 2014 20:54:43 GMT
Not enough information for me to base an opinion on.
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Post by Sam on Jul 26, 2014 20:56:21 GMT
We have some friends who treated us wrong about a month ago. We haven't spoken to them since but our kids have talked through social media. We've only known them for about 14 months. I don't want to get into what happen, but they did us wrong. What would you do if you really liked someone but they did you wrong? I really miss them but don't know what to do. Should I not talk to them ever again or call them and try to talk things out. I don't want to be treated this way ever again through. It not only hurt me and my husband but it hurt my kids too. I'm trying to get passed the fact I don't really understand your post. It really depends on what you think they did wrong, how major that was and whether or not that 'WRONG' is a friendship breaker for you. You speak to them or you don't. Either way, it has to something you are comfortable with.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 8:27:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2014 20:59:05 GMT
If they hurt your kids why in the blazes have you allowed your kids to continue a relationship with their family, and why would your kids want to? Impression is the hurt wasn't a true hurtful action but you are overly sensitive who can't forgive and move on.
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marianne
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys. . . My monkeys fly!
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Location: right smack dab in the middle of SC
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Jun 25, 2014 21:08:26 GMT
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Post by marianne on Jul 26, 2014 20:59:43 GMT
Nothing ever gets resolved without talking about it, one can't sit back passively silent and expect anything to change. To me, it would depend on the severity of the wrong-doing vs the quality of the people involved. You need to ask yourself some tough questions. Why do you want to remain friends? What do you want out of the relationship? But most importantly, why would you want to be friends with someone who treats you badly?
I'm sorry you and your family were hurt, but stewing silently isn't going to help you move forward. Either talk about what happened with the other person, or let it go and get on with your life. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,069
Jun 25, 2014 21:21:08 GMT
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Post by luckyexwife on Jul 26, 2014 21:00:15 GMT
What was their response? Do they think they did something wrong and have they apologized?
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jul 26, 2014 21:05:00 GMT
I would really have to know your definition of "done us wrong" KWIM? I mean..if they stole money from you, abused you or your children? or just didn't invite you to a party. Maybe what you think done me wrong, really isn't....
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 26, 2014 21:07:35 GMT
Not enough information for me to base an opinion on. Without any info we are left wondering if they failed to return a biro, whether your husband has been shagging the wife senseless, or something somewhere in the middle.
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Post by sues on Jul 26, 2014 21:09:53 GMT
I'm assuming since you have had nothing to do with them for a month- they realize you are upset? They have not initiated contact either?
I think you have to figure out if what they did is indicative of the kind of people they are, or could it be a fluke? Can you initiate a conversation, telling them you really like them, but this thing upset your family? If not- can you let it go and start fresh, or will it gnaw at you?
Sometimes, I just need time away from someone who has upset me. But other times- it's like a switch is flipped, and that's just it for me. If a new friend treated me/my family, badly I would find a way to say "I didn't appreciate that" and give them a chance to apologize (if I wanted to remain friends). If they did it again, it would be an indication that they don't regard me/us very highly- and that would be it.
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Post by Zee on Jul 26, 2014 21:10:41 GMT
Not enough information for me to base an opinion on. Without any info we are left wondering if they failed to return a biro, whether your husband has been shagging the wife senseless, or something somewhere in the middle. Now I have to Google biro ETA: it's a ballpoint pen, like a Bic. Though in this country a Bic usually means a lighter.
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
Jun 26, 2014 12:25:29 GMT
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Post by oldcrow on Jul 26, 2014 21:15:21 GMT
Maybe they don't know you are upset and are sitting back thinking you are the jerks because you are no longer talking to them.
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Post by keknj on Jul 26, 2014 21:18:44 GMT
You have to decide how you feel. Were you just slighted (not invited to the party)? Or did they do something a little mean (find out something slightly embarrassing and post it all over FB)? Or did they do something truly horrid (ran over your little dog and never said a word, stole your ring out of your jewelry box on a visit)? The fist one I would discuss and work it out. The second one I would discuss and stay acquaintances. The third I'd just cross them off and not deal with them. That's not someone I want to associate with.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Jul 26, 2014 21:20:32 GMT
Honestly it depends on what they did. Friends stealing from me? I will write them off in a heart beat. Friends bailing on me when we have plans....I would let it slide. It really depends on what they did.
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Post by magentapea on Jul 26, 2014 21:23:01 GMT
Like the others before me, I would need more information before I could determine if I would try to reestablish a relationship with them.
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Post by fruitysuet on Jul 26, 2014 21:36:32 GMT
Now I am so curious as to what they did that was so awful? When I know that I may have some words of wisdom.
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Post by flanz on Jul 26, 2014 21:39:55 GMT
Same here.. not enough info to give you any feedback. It all depends on the "wrong" you experienced.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 26, 2014 21:42:26 GMT
With more info maybe we can all help you out.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 26, 2014 21:43:01 GMT
It's impossible to say without knowing what kind of wrong was done.
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Peamac
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Refupea # 418
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Jun 26, 2014 0:09:18 GMT
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Post by Peamac on Jul 26, 2014 21:46:16 GMT
What was their response? Do they think they did something wrong and have they apologized? Do they know they hurt you? Have they tried to make amends? Apologized?
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Post by I-95 on Jul 26, 2014 21:48:52 GMT
As others have said, it depends on what it was. I had a very good friend steal from me. Prior to that I thought she and her DH were fantastic people...charming, fun to be around, entertaining, the kind of people you want to be around. I missed them too, and it took me a while to realize that they were basically con artists....and con artists suck people in because they are charming, fun to be around, entertaining etc. That's their weapon to get you to trust them. It was hard because they were both sooooo nice, so one one hand you have great folks, on the other they're thieves, and it's really hard to get it through your head that they're both those things. For me it was a deal breaker. Total termination. Fortunately our kids were not aware of what was going on so after asking a few times when 'Mike and Mary' would be over, they sort of forgot about it and moved on as kids do...but if they had been somehow impacted, I would not have let them communicate via social network. I'm not sure what I would have told them, a sanitized version of the truth I guess, but I don't want folks like that anywhere near me or mine.
If they had invited everyone else in town to their daughter's wedding of the year, and not our family...I'd ask why, and based on the answer, I'd make a decision about whether it was worth it to me to build the bridge back. Otherwise, there are always new friends to be found.
I'm sorry you were hurt by the actions of these people. Once someone has violated your trust, it's an uphill climb to rebuild it.
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 26, 2014 22:18:02 GMT
Like the others before me, I would need more information before I could determine if I would try to reestablish a relationship with them. Although someone hurts my kids...it's very hard for me to forgive and forget...
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 8:27:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2014 22:40:59 GMT
Like others, it'd depend on what you mean by "done wrong." Did they bail on your plans? Did they put you or your kids in a dangerous situation. When you say they hurt you, I'm assuming you mean they hurt your feelings or snubbed you somehow. Or did they steal from you and deny it? Have you even addressed this "wrong" thing with them? If your kids have maintained some sort of relationship with their kids, I'd think you're the one who is hurt more than the other parents/family is. You either bring it up with them or you let it go. You could go by the old adage of "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." If they do it again, then I'd end the friendship. I'm a 3 strikes and you're out kind of person.
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 3:11:50 GMT
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Post by YooHoot on Jul 26, 2014 22:49:12 GMT
I'm with everyone else. Depends on the circumstances.
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Jul 26, 2014 22:54:05 GMT
Yep.... depends on the situation. If they lied to you about something important, or lied about you, I`d be done. Other things, maybe not.
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Post by peasful1 on Jul 26, 2014 22:57:37 GMT
We have some friends who treated us wrong about a month ago. We haven't spoken to them since but our kids have talked through social media. We've only known them for about 14 months. I don't want to get into what happen, but they did us wrong. What would you do if you really liked someone but they did you wrong? I really miss them but don't know what to do. Should I not talk to them ever again or call them and try to talk things out. I don't want to be treated this way ever again through. It not only hurt me and my husband but it hurt my kids too. If it's the first "wrong" talk about it. But ultimately only you know what you are able to forgive. I just cut friends out of my life who "did us wrong" several times. Life is too short.
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Post by disneypal on Jul 26, 2014 23:06:29 GMT
I am not asking you to share what happened but my answer is "it depends on what they did wrong"
There are somethings I can forgive and try to move past but there are other things that, while I may be able to forgive, I just have a hard time getting past.
If it were something that you truly feel that you and your DH could move past and leave it behind, then try to work it out. If it isn't then it is best to leave it be.
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toby2014
Junior Member
Posts: 84
Jun 27, 2014 18:56:13 GMT
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Post by toby2014 on Jul 26, 2014 23:08:17 GMT
I don't even want to know what the circumstances are or were. Only you can make this decision...we are all of a different mind of what is "wrong". Good luck with your decision.
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