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Post by ladytrisha on Feb 9, 2016 20:43:30 GMT
I know the answer on its face is obvious - you take away the car. That said, we can't as we are in the middle of a horrific conservatorship action with my equally horrific MIL (Alzheimer's didn't make her that way - it's just a cherry on top of horrific).
She has a court-appointed attorney who is the biggest waste of her money ever. He thought a settlement could be reached because she would "remember" certain things to do. We just stared at him and said "Alzheimer's - remember?" He was supposed to follow up with the DMV and stated that he couldn't get thru to them to get an answer.
We knew my MIL had received the DMV request to retest and be assessed paperwork, but didn't know if she took care of it (she will never pass as her reading comprehension is wiped out in addition to everything else). Then her car died and we thought we might get away with it until we finally get a hearing date. Well, a neighbor stepped in and said "replace the battery" and she's raring to go.
Anyway, I finally called the DMV last week who were more than willing to look up her status for me - the license was suspended on October 11 of last year. Her attorney hasn't bothered to explain it to her and our attorney won't call to ask him. Seriously, this is the biggest freaking joke thus far.
We have no legal right to take her car and she doesn't want us near her or her house.
We're basically told to let the court system do its job and that if anything happens, its not on us.
Has anyone been thru conservatorship (which started out to get a fiasco of a trust fixed, but now she claims she doesn't have a trust) and have had to face this? We are 200 miles away (part of our argument to move her ASAP). We've been at this for 9 months so far.
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 13:29:18 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 20:48:29 GMT
Call the police, they will impound the car.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 13:29:18 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 20:49:43 GMT
And I think you can get a court appointed guardian.
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Post by hop2 on Feb 9, 2016 21:04:38 GMT
Well, I my experience, we took the keys, we took the distributor cap, we did what we could to prevent her from driving. In our case however, the state did NOT take away her license despite dementia AND cataracts in both eyes. The damned grocery store asked that she not use the electric wheel chair carts anymore she was so bad. So in our case she had the law on her side and if we took the car we could be arrested and the police could do nothing.
In your case, with the suspended license, I would call police every time I knew she was driving and where until Someone stopped her.
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IAmUnoriginal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,894
Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
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Post by IAmUnoriginal on Feb 9, 2016 21:11:51 GMT
Call the local police department's non-emergency line. Ask them if there is anything that can be done by them. A wellness check the turns into a conversation about her license?
Or, could you contact Adult Protective Services in MIL's area and make an inquiry there. They'll be familiar with conservatorship cases and may even be able to provide some assistance with the case on what they observe if they go out to check on MIL.
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Post by flanz on Feb 9, 2016 21:21:45 GMT
Sorry, that sounds like an awful situation. I agree with the advice to call the police and speak with them, as well as with what IAmUnoriginal said. good luck! |
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Loydene
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,639 
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Post by Loydene on Feb 9, 2016 22:17:58 GMT
I don't know what jurisdiction you are in, but her attorney, if court appointed, can be court UNappointed. The fact that she is still driving with a suspended driver's license -- if he knows it -- is plenty of reason -- without consideration of 9 months is unnecessarily long.
In my state, she can be jailed for driving on a suspended license -- that is a SERIOUS driving offense .... and if she has an accident, she probably won't have any insurance coverage -- which is another concern -- she is going to hurt someone or herself and her estate will be depleted.
If she has already not responded to the DMV request for reassessment, then there probably isn't much more can be done until she is stopped and arrested.
But there is really little reason that I know of -- in my state -- for a competency hearing and conservatorship to have taken this long
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Post by esperanza on Feb 9, 2016 22:41:15 GMT
What would happen if she took the car out and killed innocent people? You could be sued.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Feb 9, 2016 22:53:55 GMT
I'm sorry that you are going through this. I'm not sure what you could do, other than speak to the local police department and see what your options are.
One thing I would advise, if possible, you need to speak to the neighbor who offered the car battery device (and any others you can) to explain the situation. They need to be told that she is a menace to herself and others if she is behind the wheel. If they knew how bad off she is, perhaps they won't be offering her car advice. My late FIL was in a home at the end, and to someone who didn't know appeared to be pretty normal for an old guy. He would decide that he was ready to leave, call an old friend and tell them his testing was done and needed a ride home. DH made several calls to explain the situation and that FIL was in the best place for him. It was a difficult time.
I hope that you are able to find a solution to both problems soon.
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
Posts: 3,139
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Post by scrappington on Feb 9, 2016 23:24:41 GMT
Can you let the air out of her tires at night? And not one but all four. Or go as far as slashing too. Speak to the neighbor and explain situation and have him not intervene.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Feb 9, 2016 23:29:29 GMT
Remove the battery from her car. It's going no where without one. Well, a neighbor stepped in and said "replace the battery" and she's raring to go. And ask that neighbor to kindly butt the hell out of it. |
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Post by elaine on Feb 9, 2016 23:31:41 GMT
As mentioned before, since she has a suspended license, an accident will bankrupt her.
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 13:29:18 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2016 0:18:06 GMT
It's hard to flatten her tires or otherwise disable a car that is 200 miles away and on the property of a woman is likely to call the police on the OP and her husband should they show up. Even with a good reason, any attempts to disable the car could get them arrested for vandalism!
OP: The best you can do is contact the local police to see if there's anything to be done from their point of view. I also agree that if the appointed lawyer is being so inept, it would be worth trying to get him removed.
{{{{ hugs }}}}
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basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,619
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Post by basketdiva on Feb 10, 2016 0:34:26 GMT
What would happen if she took the car out and killed innocent people? You could be sued. Did you mean the MIL could be sued. Unless I've misread all the details from the OP, it's not her car so the OP bears no responsibility for an accident. |
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Post by txdancermom on Feb 10, 2016 2:20:05 GMT
I would talk to your lawyer and the local police about what you can do - your hands are tied because of the legal proceedings, but your attorney should be able to force something, especially with respect to the driving issue, she is a danger to herself and others if she were to get behind the wheel.
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Post by theroadlesstraveledp on Feb 10, 2016 3:55:57 GMT
Call the local police department's non-emergency line. Ask them if there is anything that can be done by them. A wellness check the turns into a conversation about her license? Or, could you contact Adult Protective Services in MIL's area and make an inquiry there. They'll be familiar with conservatorship cases and may even be able to provide some assistance with the case on what they observe if they go out to check on MIL. In addition to what IAmUnoriginal wrote have you called the Alzheimer's 24/7 Hotline? They have resources that might be able to help you. www.alz.org/we_can_help_24_7_helpline.aspSending you hugs! |
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Feb 10, 2016 9:24:18 GMT
Call the police before she kills someone.
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Post by ladytrisha on Feb 10, 2016 20:46:36 GMT
Small update. Her sisters are now calling the court appointed attorney and yelling at him to do his job. They have also told her they are going to call the police. My husband is telling her the same thing.
Found out today that she and her attorney have refused mediation in the conservatorship case and so there will be a mandatory settlement conference. When we go to that hearing, we will show up with the information that she paid property taxes with a bad check, that her meds have not been renewed (we knew she wasn't taking them) and that her license is suspended. Bonus irony - her attorney had the nerve to request that we pick her up and take her to the hearing and back. We aren't doing that. I have no words for just how bad this guy is - so let him have some hours in the car and see how well he does.
Thank you Wingnut for understanding our position - we simply can't barge in and take her car or dismantle it unless we want to get arrested. We can't drive 4 hours in the car (love L.A. and San Diego traffic) only to arrive and her refuse to see my husband.
Thankfully, we have the confidence of her broker so the bulk of her estate is tied up securely and if she tries to move it, he will call us as he is well aware of her condition and rapid decline. She recently closed the checking account she had shared with her boys (for 25 years) because she didn't want to see my husband's name on her checks. Then she writes bills from the closed account because she forgot she closed it. Oh and there are 3 step-sisters who are going to sue her for trust mismanagement as she lied about their father's estate distribution when he died. But her attorney says she doesn't need help.
The legal process for this is unreal.
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Post by librarylady on Feb 10, 2016 21:31:32 GMT
Beware of the attorney!!!!!
In the DFW area, an unscrupulous attorney had himself be the court appointed attorney and then had the estate given to him.
The fees are enough, but this person might be getting papers together and having MIL sign things over to him.
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Rainbow
Pearl Clutcher
Where salt is in the air and sand is at my feet...
Posts: 4,103
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Post by Rainbow on Feb 11, 2016 0:21:03 GMT
I know the answer on its face is obvious - you take away the car. That said, we can't as we are in the middle of a horrific conservatorship action with my equally horrific MIL (Alzheimer's didn't make her that way - it's just a cherry on top of horrific).
She has a court-appointed attorney who is the biggest waste of her money ever. He thought a settlement could be reached because she would "remember" certain things to do. We just stared at him and said "Alzheimer's - remember?" He was supposed to follow up with the DMV and stated that he couldn't get thru to them to get an answer.
We knew my MIL had received the DMV request to retest and be assessed paperwork, but didn't know if she took care of it (she will never pass as her reading comprehension is wiped out in addition to everything else). Then her car died and we thought we might get away with it until we finally get a hearing date. Well, a neighbor stepped in and said "replace the battery" and she's raring to go.
Anyway, I finally called the DMV last week who were more than willing to look up her status for me - the license was suspended on October 11 of last year. Her attorney hasn't bothered to explain it to her and our attorney won't call to ask him. Seriously, this is the biggest freaking joke thus far.
We have no legal right to take her car and she doesn't want us near her or her house.
We're basically told to let the court system do its job and that if anything happens, its not on us.
Has anyone been thru conservatorship (which started out to get a fiasco of a trust fixed, but now she claims she doesn't have a trust) and have had to face this? We are 200 miles away (part of our argument to move her ASAP). We've been at this for 9 months so far.
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JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,827
Location: Indianapolis
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Post by JustTricia on Feb 11, 2016 0:43:36 GMT
You also should call the state and report the attorney.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Feb 11, 2016 2:54:49 GMT
This appears to be the California courts' self-help page for Conservatorships in California. www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-conservatorship.htmI'm not sure of the case's posture with respect to the settlement/mediation, but I noticed that under the "ending a conservatorship", it says: The court removes the conservator The court may remove a conservator who is not doing the job or is not able to do it, and then appoint a new conservator. The conservatee or any of his or her relatives or friends may ask the court to remove and replace the conservator. If the conservatee makes the request and does not have his or her own lawyer, the judge will generally appoint one to file the petition for the conservatee. |
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Post by scrapmaven on Feb 11, 2016 2:55:13 GMT
Another push to call the non-emergency police number. She's breaking the law and that's what the police are for. They will probably be able to do more than your rotten attorney.
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Post by txdancermom on Feb 11, 2016 3:01:34 GMT
I presume you have documentation of what the attorney is/is not doing and you can show that to the court, and respectfully request a new attorney be appointed to represent her in this matter. And yes, look into reporting the current attorney to the state bar association.
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Post by ladytrisha on Feb 17, 2016 21:42:27 GMT
The lawyer that's incompetent is her court appointed guy (the one that appears like he just got out of bed, bald tires on his SUV, just a wonder). Tomorrow is the hearing to set a Mandatory Settlement Conference. Hopefully we'll get a date.
Our attorney has been thru the ringer just with us LOL
We went in consulting on a very badly written trust. Silly, naïve us thought she'd look at the big picture and realize it had not been updated. Nope, we're all out to get her.
They then wanted a mediation - she refused to pay; they all then looked at us and said "you pay". We said "hold on, we're not doing this for US, we're doing this for HER, WHY are we paying?" (crickets) Then we said "and how exactly, assuming you get her to agree to the mediation terms, make her comply?" Oh, we go back to court! Uhhh so let's go to court in the first place. Good grief.
Meanwhile, because the mediation went kaput, her court appointed lawyer has now posted a motion for dismissal and for his fees. He's totally lying on the declaration (having worked for lawyers makes me look for all the boilerplate BS). Took me one phone call to verify license was suspended; he's claiming over an hour for numerous phone calls "attempting" to check the status - and he's claiming ignorance that her license is suspended. He just thinks she's a nice little lady. Hell, she's never been any of that! LOL
Anyway, we find out tomorrow the hearing date and everyone has to show up for the MSC.
And they still want us to take her to it because "it's on your way".
And we're going to say "nope, you think she's fine to go, you deal"
We're going to stay overnight in San Diego (she's north of there) and say "sorry, not in the area" ... if you think she can be on her own 200 miles away from family, then let's see how its done.
Not a single non-Alzheimer's member of the family is against my husband being conservator nor against moving her to a facility. And then we have her "attorney". The system is so broken.
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Post by ladytrisha on Feb 17, 2016 21:44:10 GMT
On the positive side, we just adopted/rescued a 9 week old puppy and for the first time in over a year, we are stress free (even when Kahuna piddles) LOL
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