freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Feb 16, 2016 18:59:46 GMT
I need a vent.
I'll start by acknowledging I made an error and I do regret it. I invited a friend over for NYE. (This is the same friend that left me hanging in the restaurant the other day I complained about FYI). She came and brought this ginormous heavy platter and filled it with fruit and such, although no one was asked to bring anything at all. It was nice of her, but there was a lot of stuff left over. She forgot the platter at my house and when we met for dinner that night, I forgot to bring the stupid thing with me. The thing is huge, about 18" across and weighs a good 10 pounds.
After the whole dinner incident, I decided it was probably best to just put this friendship on the back burner and let it fade, but I still have this fucking platter! So she sends me a msg (blunt and straight forward so I think she's annoyed at me too) saying she'll pick it up tomorrow at my office. I don't want to forget it so last night I put it out with some stuff to bring up to the office. Whelp, I picked it up this morning and it slipped out of my hands and broke. sigh.
I feel bad about it, really. I sent her a message and apologized profusely and said I'd replace it. she responded how much she loved "that damn thing" and that she'd find the artist who made it and get a replacement. I'm sure it'll be some $500 platter (btw, I'm paying the artist directly) for sure now. Yes I broke it ... on accident. I guess I just wouldn't expect my friends to pay for something they broke on accident. Especially something I left at their house for 2 months. Which, btw, apparently she was right behind me a half mile from my house just a few days ago and could have come got it then. Regardless, I will pay for it whatever the cost so I can just move on from this person.
Now she wants me to dig the pieces out of the trash (my husband put them in the dumpster, oh boy) so her kid can make some yard art project. I wonder how long that'll be sitting in a bag before she picks that up.
So..... I'll pay the artist, get the platter and then move on. I'm so disappointed because I was hoping for a better friend than that.
Onward and upward!
Add yours please.
UPDATE: I keep forgetting to update this thread. "Friend" found out from the artist that the platter was $150. I just sent her a check and moved on. I didn't unfriend her on fb because that's DRAMA but I did just unfollow her and set her as an acquaintance so we'll have much less interaction. I preferred to pay the artist directly but I got some story about how he was a teacher and didn't work on art until summertime and had none in stock. She did say "oh darn, I really liked that platter" but later said how ironic it was that all the gifts from her former husband had broken or whatever so it was probably just good it was gone. But she sure cashed that check.
I did what I said I'd do, but if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't have made a good friend (which is what I thought I was at one point) pay for something that was an accident. I know exactly where I stand now.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,378
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Feb 16, 2016 19:05:44 GMT
You're a better friend than I would ever be. Sorry I broke it but I am not rummaging through the trash so your child can make an art project.
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Post by JoP on Feb 16, 2016 19:07:36 GMT
I'm so sorry it broke freebird and that your friend is not who you thought she was
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 9:34:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2016 19:07:59 GMT
I know that you are annoyed with her for other understandable reasons right now, but paying to replace something you broke is the right thing to do.
ETA: I would replace it, but would draw the line at digging in a dumpster for the pieces. That's absurd.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 9:34:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2016 19:38:09 GMT
Mine is minor compared to yours! I no longer try to initiate contact with my "friend" after she told me to stop crying over my son's mental health issues. There's a very long history besides that! Well, she calls me at 5:20 a.m. asking if I can take her kids to school this week! My son had been up since 12:00 a.m. when she called and he was almost asleep. I told her not today or tomorrow because I won't be able to drive after getting a shot in my back. I only agreed to help Thursday and Friday because I love her kids and used to watch her son all the time. I have no idea what the dad is doing. They live with him and I'm giving them a ride. I'm just glad I can see them again.
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,816
Location: Houston, TX
Jun 25, 2014 22:47:49 GMT
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Post by smartypants71 on Feb 16, 2016 19:39:01 GMT
I'd pay to replace it, but I'd draw the line at digging it out of the trash.
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Post by tallgirl on Feb 16, 2016 19:42:48 GMT
I wouldn't enjoy digging it out of the trash, but if I broke it, I would do it in an effort to make things right.
I think your friend has a right to expect you to replace it if it was very costly, but I wouldn't let a friend pay to replace something reasonably priced if it was broken accidentally.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 9:34:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2016 19:45:01 GMT
Better woman than I, No freakin way I'd be digging it out...but you are trying to be the better person. We have lost a lot of "friends" through our teenager tale. In the end though we have seen who are real friends are and it's great. We have close knit group of about 5 couples, then we have some people we will go out to dinner with here and there and then those that we will socialize at the larger LEO events. It was really eye opening to see those who showed their true colors when things got hard...but at least we know. We've started at a new church and have met some really nice people, it forcing us to step outside of our norm and it's fun.
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Post by Really Red on Feb 16, 2016 19:45:14 GMT
I wouldn't bring something that special to someone's house. And I wouldn't have left it there. But, like you, I'd offer to pay. I would tell my friend who broke something no way would I accept money. Then as a person who broke something, I'd bring something pretty to make up for it. But that's me. I'd consider this a small price to pay to get rid of her friendship. Sorry
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,370
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Feb 16, 2016 19:46:49 GMT
I think you do need to pay. However in that case if I were your friend I wouldn't personally ask or expect it. If you had asked to borrow it, yes, maybe. But she's the one who made the choice to bring it to your house (who takes such a heavy expensive platter out of the house? I'd use it at my own house only). And she's the one who left it behind and didn't come and pick it up. Personally I think she's being a bitch about it. I'd pay but yup, friendship totally over after that.
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Post by Mary_K on Feb 16, 2016 19:56:26 GMT
I think the broken pieces are yours since you are paying for a new one!
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
Posts: 3,139
Jun 26, 2014 14:43:10 GMT
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Post by scrappington on Feb 16, 2016 19:56:33 GMT
I personally do not own expensive i'd be upset if it broke stuff for serving food on. I'd own a platter like that for display purposes only. you offered to pay. That was very big of you. And its unfortunate that it happened. But dumpster diving isn't going to happen. If it was kitchen garbage can maybe. I personally would have to pay so I wouldn't feel like I owed someone something. I would pay the artist (and truly to me that is a better than paying the friend) and be done with this woman
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Feb 16, 2016 19:56:46 GMT
I think you do need to pay. However in that case if I were your friend I wouldn't personally ask or expect it. If you had asked to borrow it, yes, maybe. But she's the one who made the choice to bring it to your house (who takes such a heavy expensive platter out of the house? I'd use it at my own house only). And she's the one who left it behind and didn't come and pick it up. Personally I think she's being a bitch about it. I'd pay but yup, friendship totally over after that. nailed it. this is how I feel. If the roles were reversed, I wouldn't have asked for a dime.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,987
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Feb 16, 2016 20:01:12 GMT
Hell no! You are already paying for the platter, so no bloody way should be digging through the trash for the pieces. You are making her whole by paying for the thing.
My BFF broke a serving dish of mine one Christmas. No way would I take money from her. It was an accident. It was only in 3 pieces anyway, so we glued the thing back together just for shits and giggles.
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smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,606
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
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Post by smginaz Suzy on Feb 16, 2016 20:02:21 GMT
I think you should describe the plate and with this board, see if we can find one somewhere by the same artist as a replacement. You know this board is full of google pros.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,987
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Feb 16, 2016 20:10:11 GMT
I think you should describe the plate and with this board, see if we can find one somewhere by the same artist as a replacement. You know this board is full of google pros. Brilliant suggestion!
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Feb 16, 2016 20:13:05 GMT
I think you should describe the plate and with this board, see if we can find one somewhere by the same artist as a replacement. You know this board is full of google pros. She told me it was a guy from where she used to live in Oregon that did pottery on the off season - he's a teacher.
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smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,606
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
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Post by smginaz Suzy on Feb 16, 2016 20:18:28 GMT
There are OR peas here. And you never know what shows up at goodwill. Can you find anything on google images that even resembles it? Or can she tell you the artist's name?
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Post by bbkeef on Feb 16, 2016 20:21:22 GMT
I wonder if she's testing you to see if it's really broken? I totally agree that you should pay the artist directly. Sounds like a small price to pay to get this woman out of your life.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Feb 16, 2016 20:22:36 GMT
There are OR peas here. And you never know what shows up at goodwill. Can you find anything on google images that even resembles it? Or can she tell you the artist's name? I told her when she gets the info, send me the person's contact info so that I can give them a credit card.
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
Posts: 3,139
Jun 26, 2014 14:43:10 GMT
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Post by scrappington on Feb 16, 2016 20:47:40 GMT
also if things ever smooth over and she comes to your house again with a lovely platter stop her at the front door with it and say NO THANK YOU
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Post by Mary_K on Feb 16, 2016 22:07:14 GMT
I think you should describe the plate and with this board, see if we can find one somewhere by the same artist as a replacement. You know this board is full of google pros. She told me it was a guy from where she used to live in Oregon that did pottery on the off season - he's a teacher. And he uses unicorn tears as a mixing agent......
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Feb 16, 2016 22:16:46 GMT
She told me it was a guy from where she used to live in Oregon that did pottery on the off season - he's a teacher. And he uses unicorn tears as a mixing agent...... And pees painted rainbows!
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Post by anxiousmom on Feb 16, 2016 22:44:13 GMT
I think this is why publix sells the plastic crystal looking trays-so that when the dingbat in question (usually me) forgets the tray at a friends house I can say no worries, you can keep it. lol
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Feb 16, 2016 22:50:17 GMT
If I broke something, I would expect to pay to replace it. To me, it's irrelevant whether or not I asked her to bring food or the platter or whether she was close to my house on a prior occasion. Bottom line is that I broke it, I bought it. I would not, however, be digging the pieces out of the trash, let alone a dumpster for her son to use in an art project. Just not gonna happen.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 9:34:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2016 23:10:04 GMT
You volunteered to replace the platter...you obligated yourself.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 9:34:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2016 23:49:15 GMT
Well, I don't think you should dig in the trash - I agree with upthread, she will be made whole so she can put a sock in it. Mine: an old friend who went through a period of extreme self indulgence and self interest, who told me she didn't need to bother asking how I was because "I was boring as $#@!%^ and never had anything going on anyway," who didn't return my calls or emails, who reposted things I put on her wall without ever acknowledging me, who basically ghosted on me without actually disappearing - she is back. And she is all over me like white on rice. It's been 18 months of random emails and sad FB messages and phone messages, texts from other numbers, etc. I don't know how to tell her that she just exhausted my fondness for her and I'm over it. I figured my months of total silence were pretty clear. Apparently not. I know, let's dig those platter pieces out of the trash and send them to my old friend, just to keep the crazy moving.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Feb 17, 2016 0:23:17 GMT
Mine is minor compared to yours! I no longer try to initiate contact with my "friend" after she told me to stop crying over my son's mental health issues. There's a very long history besides that! Well, she calls me at 5:20 a.m. asking if I can take her kids to school this week! My son had been up since 12:00 a.m. when she called and he was almost asleep. I told her not today or tomorrow because I won't be able to drive after getting a shot in my back. I only agreed to help Thursday and Friday because I love her kids and used to watch her son all the time. I have no idea what the dad is doing. They live with him and I'm giving them a ride. I'm just glad I can see them again. Really? You are having a whatever time about your own child's limitations which I don't know if they are severe or not nor is it any of my business but holy sh!t what a bitch! It is your child and I believe you are entitled to feel however you want about your son. If you want to cry or scream that is your right. No one effing calls my house at 5:20 am no matter who they are. Ever. I have a weird ex friend of my own, but oh man I guess I must have some sort of extra empathy for your son as I have my own mental health issues but I am ready to punch her in the face through the computer for saying that. (Does that make sense?)
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 17, 2016 5:03:43 GMT
I think this is why publix sells the plastic crystal looking trays-so that when the dingbat in question (usually me) forgets the tray at a friends house I can say no worries, you can keep it. lol The dollar store sells them too. And they're only a dollar! I don't bring my crappy real Tupperware, much less my nice stuff, to anybody's house and then leave it there. But that said, if I broke something that belonged to someone else, I would absolutely pay to replace it.
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Post by RiverIsis on Feb 17, 2016 5:15:50 GMT
I think you should describe the plate and with this board, see if we can find one somewhere by the same artist as a replacement. You know this board is full of google pros. She told me it was a guy from where she used to live in Oregon that did pottery on the off season - he's a teacher. Evil me says dig all the pieces out but tell her you didn't. Order the new platter and have it sent directly to you and when it arrives put all the broken pieces in the box and give that to her...
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