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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 28, 2014 1:56:46 GMT
I'm sure I'm showing my age, but when did it become acceptable for the recipient of baby and wedding showers to be so involved? Giving out guest lists, themes they want, locations, etc???
In my day, showers were a surprise for the mother/bride to be...
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387 
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Post by cycworker on Jul 28, 2014 1:58:33 GMT
Around here? I think in the last 10 or so years.
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Post by padresfan619 on Jul 28, 2014 1:58:52 GMT
IMO it is pretty standard for the bride/mom-to-be to have input on the guest list. I think the size and the budget of the shower should be up to whomever offered to throw it:
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Post by myshelly on Jul 28, 2014 1:59:17 GMT
I like it better this way.
The guest list? Seriously?
How would someone else know a list of all your coworkers and friends and their addresses without getting it from you? That is stupid, pointless bullshit.
I don't even understand the point of that.
Hey, I'm going to throw you a party, but I don't care who you want to invite I'm going to invite who I want to invite.
Gee....thanks?
Stupid.
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 28, 2014 1:59:50 GMT
Do you think this is ok? I find this the extreme tackiness and hate these showers!
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 8:16:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 2:01:28 GMT
Um the guest of honor has to have some input. How else would you know who to invite? That's just silly to get mad over. Who cares?
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Post by myshelly on Jul 28, 2014 2:03:31 GMT
Do you think this is ok? I find this the extreme tackiness and hate these showers! I think it's more than ok. I think it's the way it *should* be. I literally do not understand and cannot see why anyone would want it any other way. Yes, I think you're showing your age. I think things have evolved for the better. The guest of honor not providing the guest list is the stupidest thing I've ever heard and I have never been to or been involved with a shower that is the way you describe in the OP. Thank goodness. |
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 28, 2014 2:03:42 GMT
The guest list would come from the wedding invite list? I can see that being more challenging for a baby shower, but also think there are ways to get the needed information.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 28, 2014 2:04:59 GMT
The guest list would come from the wedding invite list? I can see that being more challenging for a baby shower, but also think there are ways to get the needed information. Yes. There are ways. Like asking the mom to be. Obviously. |
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Jul 28, 2014 2:05:03 GMT
In thirty years, I've never been to a shower that was a surprise. And, frankly, if one were being thrown for me, I'd be PISSED if it were a surprise. I hate surprises. I have to get myself psyched up for schmoozing. (I think that's pretty common among introverts like me.)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 2:05:42 GMT
Surprises are risky. I would hate a surprise shower. And I would never throw a surprise shower. People are busy and need time to plan.
There's a fine line when it comes to honoree involvement. Providing guest lists is not out of line...it's almost necessary to avoid leaving someone out.
Being a demanding or entitled bride or mother to be is always rude.
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 28, 2014 2:06:10 GMT
Um the guest of honor has to have some input. How else would you know who to invite? That's just silly to get mad over. Who cares? It's not something I get mad over, I was just curious. I find it tacky. JMHO. I also know people who throw themselves birthday parties, and feel the same way. Luckily, most of the showers I'm invited to in my area still follow the "surprise" format, both at work and in my personal life. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 2:06:36 GMT
Yeah I have never ever been to a surprise shower and honestly would hate that myself. I don't see any big deal with the honoree being involved a bit. Not sure why you think it is some awful tacky entitled thing for them to want who they would like at their shower.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 2:08:35 GMT
Um the guest of honor has to have some input. How else would you know who to invite? That's just silly to get mad over. Who cares? It's not something I get mad over, I was just curious. I find it tacky. JMHO. I also know people who throw themselves birthday parties, and feel the same way. Luckily, most of the showers I'm invited to in my area still follow the "surprise" format, both at work and in my personal life. Well that is not the norm for most. I can tell you right now. I have lived in 8 states in various parts of the US and never once been to a surprise one. Nor do I see giving a guest list tacky. |
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Post by myshelly on Jul 28, 2014 2:08:43 GMT
I would have been so unbelievably pissed, disappointed, and sad if my shower had been a surprise.
Thankfully no one in my circle has ever or would ever do that.
I find *that* tacky.
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 28, 2014 2:09:25 GMT
Why not throw your own shower/party then?
This is who I want invited...
This is how I want it decorated/the theme...
This is the food I want...
These are the gifts I want...
This is the date/place I want it to be...
To each his own...
The guest list is the only thing I could see there being a question/need for input, and that could easily obtain by another family member, I would think.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 2:10:42 GMT
The guest list would come from the wedding invite list? I can see that being more challenging for a baby shower, but also think there are ways to get the needed information. Lots of people don't get married before they have babies.  |
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 28, 2014 2:11:15 GMT
It's not something I get mad over, I was just curious. I find it tacky. JMHO. I also know people who throw themselves birthday parties, and feel the same way. Luckily, most of the showers I'm invited to in my area still follow the "surprise" format, both at work and in my personal life. Well that is not the norm for most. I can tell you right now. I have lived in 8 states in various parts of the US and never once been to a surprise one. Nor do I see giving a guest list tacky. It is still the norm, I think, in some areas, I believe. I wouldn't be shocked to be reading about it, if it wasn't. I'm invited to a baby shower at the end of August that is a surprise shower for someone, and I'm not the person throwing it |
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Post by myshelly on Jul 28, 2014 2:11:34 GMT
Why not throw your own shower/party then? This is who I want invited... This is how I want it decorated/the theme... This is the food I want... These are the gifts I want... This is the date/place I want it to be... To each his own. First of all I live how you started this thread calling everyone who does it different than you tacky and now say "to each his own." Right. Follow your own advice. And yea, every shower I've ever been involved with we ask the honoree input in all those areas. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 2:12:12 GMT
I bet you would've found my shower super tacky. It was held in my own home. *gasp* My friends threw it but I have the largest home so it worked best. And of course they asked my opinion on food and such. Why wouldn't they? It was a party for me. How tacky. Not.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Jul 28, 2014 2:13:26 GMT
Why not throw your own shower/party then? Because then I'd have to pay for it.  |
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 28, 2014 2:14:02 GMT
The guest list would come from the wedding invite list? I can see that being more challenging for a baby shower, but also think there are ways to get the needed information. Lots of people don't get married before they have babies. Not implying they do, I would think for a baby shower a family member could provide addresses, also. I meant for a wedding shower, it would be very easy to put together a guest list from wedding invite list...OR...have people stopped inviting those to both events? |
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 28, 2014 2:14:44 GMT
Why not throw your own shower/party then? This is who I want invited... This is how I want it decorated/the theme... This is the food I want... These are the gifts I want... This is the date/place I want it to be... To each his own. First of all I live how you started this thread calling everyone who does it different than you tacky and now say "to each his own." Right. Follow your own advice. And yea, every shower I've ever been involved with we ask the honoree input in all those areas. Actually, I believe I said, "I find it tacky" |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 2:15:06 GMT
My baby shower was a surprise. At my mom's house. About 2 weeks after DD was born. I was a total wreck. I looked awful. I didn't do my hair or make-up: I thought we were going to my mom's for lunch like we did every weekend. As I was getting ready, and crying because I felt so bad, I even said to DH "I'm not doing my make up or hair, it doesn't matter what I look like I'm just going to my mom's" and HE KNEW ABOUT THE SHOWER AND DIDN'T SAY A THING! OMG. Other than looking absolutely horrible, it was a very nice party. |
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 28, 2014 2:15:13 GMT
Why not throw your own shower/party then? Because then I'd have to pay for it.  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 2:15:36 GMT
Lots of people don't get married before they have babies. Not implying they do, I would think for a baby shower a family member could provide addresses, also. I meant for a wedding shower, it would be very easy to put together a guest list from wedding invite list...OR...have people stopped inviting those to both events? Oh, I misunderstood! Sorry! |
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Post by myshelly on Jul 28, 2014 2:16:17 GMT
First of all I live how you started this thread calling everyone who does it different than you tacky and now say "to each his own." Right. Follow your own advice. And yea, every shower I've ever been involved with we ask the honoree input in all those areas. Actually, I believe I said, "I find it tacky" Ok and to you the difference is........ |
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Jul 28, 2014 2:18:52 GMT
Lots of people don't get married before they have babies. Not implying they do, I would think for a baby shower a family member could provide addresses, also. I meant for a wedding shower, it would be very easy to put together a guest list from wedding invite list...OR...have people stopped inviting those to both events? Okay but... who do you think put together that wedding invite list? |
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 28, 2014 2:20:06 GMT
Maybe "tacky" isn't the word I mean to be saying...not trying to be so controversial about something I was more curious about....
I just find it different. I'm pretty social, and I think I've only been to two showers that were not surprises, and they were both held at work.
Luckily, I am not in a position right now to have to give a shower like this for anyone, because I, personally, wouldn't like it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2014 2:20:39 GMT
I think when communities were smaller and one's list of friends all knew each other the idea of a 'surprise' shower was much easier to pull off. All of the attendees were friends or at lease acquaintances. Now, folks are spread further apart and there are work friends, church friends, gym friends, couple friends, etc. etc. etc. One set of friends likely doesn't know the other set; making throwing a surprise party much more difficult. I don't see it as tacky at all, just times changing to keep up with larger circles and more time constraints.
And seriously? Lets all try to not be pissy about one's views. Opinions are like assholes...
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