my3freaks
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,206
Location: NH girl living in Colorado
Jun 26, 2014 4:10:56 GMT
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Post by my3freaks on Mar 18, 2016 1:37:45 GMT
Well, she lives near Toronto and I live near Denver, so real life is out. We have a neat little invention called a telephone. It works great in real life. But before people hand out their phone numbers you have to get beyond the superficial anonymous "know". It scares me over how many of you seem to think we know each other here and yet, you don't know the basics of even a name. Think about why you want her here... what is the benefit to HER. If it doesn't benefit her you are asking for selfish reasons like the aunt who can't be bothered to come visit you ever. You have to go to her. And you are sort of dissing the people who are here. I do know her name. I don't expect anyone here to contact her on my behalf to tell her I asked. If she reads the boards at all, she will see that there are people here who wonder how she's doing, but aren't going and tracking her down outside of here. I don't see how that is dissing anyone here. It certainly wasn't meant to be! I'm not sure how you've judged so much about me personally from this though.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Mar 18, 2016 1:41:37 GMT
Think about why you want her here... what is the benefit to HER. If it doesn't benefit her you are asking for selfish reasons like the aunt who can't be bothered to come visit you ever. You have to go to her. And you are sort of dissing the people who are here. ? ? ? I realize we all participate differently here, but I'm having a hard time following this. People are just asking a general question about where she's been because they've missed her posts, or are hoping she's doing well after a period of her struggling and sharing about that here. I don't think anyone has intention of dragging her back to a place that will negatively affect her life (not really up to any of us to assume/decide) simply because they want her here. Good grief. And how is this dissing the people who are here?
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katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,447
Jun 25, 2014 23:25:39 GMT
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Post by katybee on Mar 18, 2016 3:10:38 GMT
This makes me really sad. Do you really think this place is so bad that you have to "escape"? Because I know a lot of us actually enjoy this place and come here for advice, support, humor, debate... And we actually enjoy it. I agree that people were a little harsh with Ashley, but she got just as much support and kind words. She's a big girl and can handle it. You may have meant your post as a joke. But it just came across as bitter and a condescending slap to those of us that are still here in the "vortex." I absolutely do not mean it as a joke. I am dead serious and it is not a hand slap. It is a slap across the face. Make no mistake about it. For all who come for what ever reason, you feel you get something from it; fine. Great even. For those who STOP coming, what right does anyone have to call them back? We are like a bunch of alcoholics who can't stand it if a "old buddy" (we don't even know their name) stops showing up. WE are going to go find him and haul him back to the bar to drink because we can't bear to think that just maybe we too should spend a little more time doing something else. When Ashley stopped posting it was very apparent this was NOT a good place for her. She was very stressed over lack of time with her family and lack of time for her crafting, yet she spent the precious few free hours she had here where she was not deriving any benefit to her. Calling her back does not do her any benefit but steal her time from her family and her life. It just makes a bunch of people who didn't even pay attention to her real name feel good. You benefit from it. She doesn't. If you really care about someone on this board, get to know them off the board. Then when they disappear you can get in touch with them. But if you don't care enough to know while they are active don't get sobby and pretend to care after they leave. Let them leave in peace. There are ways you could've said everything you just said without putting down every single person that comes here and enjoys it. I'm not saying we need to "peatlejuice" Ashley back. That's not even my issue. My issue is with your original post specifically. This board is not a vortex. Nobody needs to "escape". But clearly some people need to leave.
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Post by Drew on Mar 18, 2016 3:14:19 GMT
What a strange thread. Were we just compared to a bunch of drunks? Maybe we need to establish a 12 step.
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,648
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Mar 18, 2016 3:25:18 GMT
What a strange thread. Were we just compared to a bunch of drunks? Maybe we need to establish a 12 step. Judging by some of the posts on this thread, there could definitely be alcohol involved. Or maybe I just need some alcohol to follow the logic.
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Post by Laurie on Mar 18, 2016 3:42:37 GMT
First, not all of us know that she was under stress and left the board. Or that harsh words were said. Maybe that is because we aren't drunks stuck in this vortex that we can't escape.
Second, are we now saying it is terrible for people to post that they are thinking of her and wondering/hoping that things are getting better for her?
Third, I don't want anyone knowing how to get in contact with me outside of the board. After all you guys are just a bunch of drunks. Lol
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Mar 18, 2016 3:50:25 GMT
Wow. Just wow. Didn't see this train wreck coming.
I didn't know anything about the Ashley threads. Now I'm curious, of course.
And for what it's worth, I think online groups such as this can offer just as much support and help as "real life" friends. That's certainly been the case for me.
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Post by leftturnonly on Mar 18, 2016 4:02:47 GMT
It's Thrusday!
Reminds me of that old movie, "If it's Tuesday, this must be Belgium." If it's an odd thread, it's inevitably Thrusday.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 30, 2024 12:16:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2016 4:37:35 GMT
I have not been drinking. At all. Alcohol puts me to sleep before I hit any sort of buzzed. But a lot of you seem to be quite delusional on anonymous message board relationships.
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,648
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Mar 18, 2016 5:00:34 GMT
I have not been drinking. At all. Alcohol puts me to sleep before I hit any sort of buzzed. But a lot of you seem to be quite delusional on anonymous message board relationships. I think you use this board very differently than some of us do - the difference being we don't criticize you for how you use the board. I think it's okay to ask where a pea is because even though it's an anonymous message board, some of us have been here for years (and even those of us who haven't been here for years) actually feel like there is a community here and we can be concerned about one another, even if it is just through this board. You clearly choose not to use the board in that way, which is fine. But I don't understand your accusations against this community as a whole. I think tagging Ashley on this thread was the appropriate way to touch base with her. Tracking her down outside of the board would not be appropriate unless you already had an established relationship outside of the board. By making a thread here, she would only see it if she came back on the board. And even then, she can just ignore it if she wants. Assigning devious motives to people trying to suck her back in and making other bizarre accusations (which I still don't even understand) is way off base IMHO. That being said, I remember the last thread Ashley started and I can see why she stepped back from this place (temporarily or permanent, who knows) and it was probably a good decision for her. And people who've interacted with her or enjoyed her contributions on this board are just wondering how she is doing. Nothing more than that.
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,029
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Mar 18, 2016 5:32:27 GMT
So there are two opinions on this - one that most of the peas are agreeing with and then there is the other opinion that I've only seen yubon agree with. I think that should tell us something...
Perhaps volt interpreted the op and subsequent posts as more of a demand for Ashley's appearance as if it was owed to us and was reacting to that?! Otherwise I got nothing. I hope Ashley is well and I too, miss her posts.
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Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea # 418
Posts: 4,229
Jun 26, 2014 0:09:18 GMT
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Post by Peamac on Mar 18, 2016 5:40:08 GMT
I didn't know about the Ashley thread either. I thought she usually refupeaed during her commute (train? bus?) and at work while waiting for different tests to process.
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Post by gar on Mar 18, 2016 8:01:42 GMT
Well if that wasn't supposed to be a handslap voltagain , you're doing it wrong. People inquiring as to the general welfare of a long time peas is just that - no nefarious intent and even if we were 'trying to suck her back in for our own benefit' ( ) Ashley's perfectly capable of ignoring us which is obvious by the fact that people have asked and tagged her previously. I live in a different country so seeing her in person clearly isn't an option and I know maybe 2 peas via Facebook, I'd have to go stalking their friends pages to see if they were in contact with Ashley if I wanted to try and contact her then message her and she probably wouldn't know my name irl and would wonder who I was or ignore me.......nope, illogical. It's not hard to leave here if you want to, all this vortex nonsense is just that, old Pea fun, folklore nonsense.
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Mar 18, 2016 8:09:41 GMT
And as ironic as it may be... if volt stopped posting... some pea would wonder how you were... what happened.. and the same would happen if yubon stopped posting... thats what happens with tier 1 peas... lol
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Post by DinCA on Mar 18, 2016 8:49:58 GMT
I hope Ashley is well and happy. If she chooses to come back at some point, I'm sure it will be nice for her to see she was missed but I don't think anyone should try to contact her outside this board unless they had an relationship with her in real life previously.
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camcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,110
Jun 26, 2014 3:41:19 GMT
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Post by camcas on Mar 18, 2016 10:11:49 GMT
......has anyone made popcorn...........!
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Post by leftturnonly on Mar 18, 2016 10:35:02 GMT
And as ironic as it may be... if volt stopped posting... some pea would wonder how you were... what happened.. and the same would happen if yubon stopped posting... thats what happens with tier 1 peas... lol The perks of being Tier 1.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Mar 18, 2016 11:42:16 GMT
I think it's okay to ask where a pea is because even though it's an anonymous message board, some of us have been here for years (and even those of us who haven't been here for years) actually feel like there is a community here and we can be concerned about one another, even if it is just through this board. This says best how I feel about this issue. I have a horrible memory and am not a spreadsheet keeper, so I'm always, "Oh, wow. Where HAS that person been?" when one of these threads come up. I miss Ashley here. She added something to this community for me. I understand why she may be absent right now, but I sincerely hope she comes back some day. And, dare I even ask? Where has heartcat been? I miss her posts on thrifting as well as her thoughtful replies to other's posts.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,788
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on Mar 18, 2016 11:53:28 GMT
Team my3freaks +1 I don't think there's anything wrong with asking about a pea here because you're concerned or miss them. I agree with quite a bit of what voltagain posts but this time, Volt, you're way off base and honestly sound like you're projecting your own issues onto this situation.
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Post by annabella on Mar 18, 2016 14:43:55 GMT
And as ironic as it may be... if volt stopped posting... some pea would wonder how you were... what happened.. and the same would happen if yubon stopped posting... thats what happens with tier 1 peas... lol Tier 1???
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Post by flanz on Mar 18, 2016 14:55:16 GMT
I think it's okay to ask where a pea is because even though it's an anonymous message board, some of us have been here for years (and even those of us who haven't been here for years) actually feel like there is a community here and we can be concerned about one another, even if it is just through this board. This says best how I feel about this issue. I have a horrible memory and am not a spreadsheet keeper, so I'm always, "Oh, wow. Where HAS that person been?" when one of these threads come up. I miss Ashley here. She added something to this community for me. I understand why she may be absent right now, but I sincerely hope she comes back some day. And, dare I even ask? Where has heartcat been? I miss her posts on thrifting as well as her thoughtful replies to other's posts. I've been thinking the same about heartcat!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 30, 2024 12:16:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2016 15:02:10 GMT
Is this a bad time to wonder how penny is? I was thinking I haven't seen any posts from her in a while. ETA I'm an idiot cos she posted a few days ago
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,648
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Mar 18, 2016 15:16:34 GMT
The Tier 1 thing ... lol. I have vague recollections of old threads discussing tiers or something similar - ring a bell for anyone else?
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Mar 18, 2016 16:41:49 GMT
I do hope Ashley is ok, and it warms my heart that the peas care and are concerned about her.
That being said, Volt does have a point (although it could have been stated differently). Internet addiction is very real, and doesn't have to involve "bad" sites.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,788
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on Mar 18, 2016 17:11:41 GMT
That being said, Volt does have a point (although it could have been stated differently). Internet addiction is very real, and doesn't have to involve "bad" sites. Of course internet addiction is real and doesn't have to involve "bad" sites. But that isn't the point. For example...I have a guest come to my house. I say "Hey want a beer?" Guest replies that they're a recovering alcoholic so I take note of that and in the future act accordingly. I was not rude for saying "Want a beer" when I had no idea they were a recovering alcoholic. Nobody has any idea if Ashley has an internet addiction and quite honestly I think it's bizarre and obnoxious to infer that. People care about her and wondered if she was ok...That is not rude.
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Post by shevy on Mar 18, 2016 17:51:41 GMT
I think what voltagain is trying to say is that it appeared that this was a vortex for Ashley, therefore it is good that she stopped coming. And sometimes, asking about people like this results in them returning. They say HI and mean to leave, but are sucked back into the people and the threads and the daily communication. Volt isn't wanting that for Ashley.
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Post by gar on Mar 18, 2016 17:54:37 GMT
I think what voltagain is trying to say is that it appeared that this was a vortex for Ashley, therefore it is good that she stopped coming. And sometimes, asking about people like this results in them returning. They say HI and mean to leave, but are sucked back into the people and the threads and the daily communication. Volt isn't wanting that for Ashley. I think Ashley is more than capable of deciding whether she wants that for herself or not.
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Post by leftturnonly on Mar 18, 2016 17:57:49 GMT
And another thread bites the dust......
(If you don't hear Queen sing We Are The Champions as you read that, you're doing it wrong.)
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Mar 18, 2016 17:59:12 GMT
And as ironic as it may be... if volt stopped posting... some pea would wonder how you were... what happened.. and the same would happen if yubon stopped posting... thats what happens with tier 1 peas... lol Tier 1??? It was a joke... i don't remember who started it on the old board... but it's basically based on who you are and how much you post.... it doesn't happen here but on the old board who you "are" made a difference... i said it all in fun here... if you are a big poster or polarizing it will be noticed when you stop... Im definitely not tier 1... lol but i feel like a member of this community...
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Mar 18, 2016 18:09:35 GMT
That being said, Volt does have a point (although it could have been stated differently). Internet addiction is very real, and doesn't have to involve "bad" sites. Of course internet addiction is real and doesn't have to involve "bad" sites. But that isn't the point. For example...I have a guest come to my house. I say "Hey want a beer?" Guest replies that they're a recovering alcoholic so I take note of that and in the future act accordingly. I was not rude for saying "Want a beer" when I had no idea they were a recovering alcoholic. Nobody has any idea if Ashley has an internet addiction and quite honestly I think it's bizarre and obnoxious to infer that. People care about her and wondered if she was ok...That is not rude. Oh gosh no, I wasn't intending to infer Ashley or anyone else had an Internet addiction. I was just trying to say that even though it wasn't stated in a very understandable way, Volt did have a point about why someone would choose not to come here on a regular basis, if it was interfering with their ability to do what they needed to do. That's all.
As I said in my earlier post, I do hope Ashley is doing ok, and has been able to make progress in her areas of concern.
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