paigepea
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Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
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Post by paigepea on Mar 22, 2016 23:28:14 GMT
I need a consequence for my 7 yr old dd. She lost her school sweater at school....for the second time this year. This sweater costs me $70. The first one she lost was her cardigan. I refused to buy her a new one so she started wearing the pullover. Now she's lost the pullover. Her name is in it, but her name was in the cardigan and that has been lost for a few months. Ugh. I feel so discouraged. I tell her to put it in her locker if she needs to take it off (she has two classrooms, one is unreasonably warm so the teacher allows the students to take their sweaters off). Why doesn't she listen to me and put the sweater in her locker?
What is a good consequence? I will have to repurchase the sweater as it's required. She can work off the money but we've btdt with her and it didn't seem to teach her anything.
Eta - I check for the sweater when I pick her up but a babysitter picked her up today because I'm in bed with the stomach flu - improving, thank goodness
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Post by christine58 on Mar 22, 2016 23:34:41 GMT
I'd march her back to the school and make her look for it.
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quiltz
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Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Mar 22, 2016 23:36:30 GMT
Not sure of a cconsequence but she is only 7. She probably doesn't understand the concept of money in relation to her sweater.
Maybe a forfeited new fun clothing?
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kate
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Post by kate on Mar 22, 2016 23:37:35 GMT
No advice, just sympathy from me. My eldest once lost a brand-new pair of khaki pants (left in the locker room, I assume). My next kid lost a uniform sweater at the athletic field. The next one lost a JACKET in Central Park when the class went there to eat lunch after a field trip.
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paigepea
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Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
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Post by paigepea on Mar 22, 2016 23:37:37 GMT
I'd love to take her back to school but I can just sit up in bed after 2 days of the stomach flu and the babysitter already left. I'll be ok to drive tomorrow but school is closed until after Easter now. I called Dh and asked him to pop in on his way home so he's heading there.
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Post by Woobster on Mar 22, 2016 23:38:12 GMT
I'd make her work to pay off this one, and work to save up another $70 for the next time she loses one. Tell her that if she can keep track of this sweater, she can do something fun with the saved up money at some point.
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YooHoot
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Jun 26, 2014 3:11:50 GMT
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Post by YooHoot on Mar 22, 2016 23:40:01 GMT
I'd make her work to pay off this one, and work to save up another $70 for the next time she loses one. Tell her that if she can keep track of this sweater, she can do something fun with the saved up money at some point. That's a great idea!
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GiantsFan
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Post by GiantsFan on Mar 22, 2016 23:40:24 GMT
I'm not a parent, but she's only 7. Kids lose things.
If it's not in lost and found, then buy her a new one and tell her under no circumstances is she to take it off, no matter how hot it gets. Or if she takes it off, she has to tie it around her waist, immediately. Can you ask her teacher to keep an eye out to make sure she has it when she leaves class?
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quiltz
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Post by quiltz on Mar 22, 2016 23:41:50 GMT
I'd make her work to pay off this one, and work to save up another $70 for the next time she loses one. Tell her that if she can keep track of this sweater, she can do something fun with the saved up money at some point. That's a great idea! How could a 7 year old work off $70.00? Again she is 7, not 12 or 17, just 7! Teacher's don't have time to check every child for whatever the parent wants them to check for.
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Post by ntsf on Mar 22, 2016 23:46:20 GMT
I would not be too hard on her..cause it will have no effect but make her feel bad. maybe try a remembering system using fingers...you have to use it every day for weeks til it is set ..one finger for sweater, one for backpack, one for shoes, one for...etc. count things off going out the door every single day..and ask her to do it before she leaves school. and get the babysitter to do it too.
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Post by bc2ca on Mar 22, 2016 23:47:57 GMT
Does the school have a lost & found? It is stunning how many sweaters & sweatshirts went unclaimed when my kids were in elementary school.
If the locker is not in the classroom where she takes off the sweater I doubt she is allowed to leave the room to put it away.
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Post by epeanymous on Mar 22, 2016 23:52:32 GMT
The lost and found at my kids' schools are gross. Full of gross unwashed items that have been dragged through mud and trampled on by herds of elephants. When my kids have lost things, their "punishment" is that they have to go to the school lost and found daily for several days and paw through the ick, have to ask their teachers and bus driver if they have seen the item, and have to go scour the entire playground looking for it.
In a school with uniform sweaters, I wouldn't be shocked if another kid accidentally took your daughter's sweater home, and it may turn up in the next few days. Or not. I will tell you that in however many years of however many kids in school, I've been called about a lost item by anyone exactly once even though I put their names and our phone number in every lunch box, sweater, jacket, etc.
Honestly, I probably wouldn't punish her beyond pestering her daily about looking for it in the way I just described. She is seven, and while I hate it when my kids lose things, it happens. My husband lost his expensive jacket a few months ago -- it happens to adults too :/.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Mar 22, 2016 23:58:37 GMT
Cripes!! if I had my oldest pay off all the clothes she lost over the yrs, she would STILL be paying me back!! LOLPIMP!!! I remember her 1st day of kinder. Dressed her up in the cutest dress, tshirt, bike shorts under the dress...went to pick her up at daycare, as she rode the bus there after school, and she had on a completely different outfit?!! I was like..ah...that's not what I sent you to school in??!!! WTH? yeea
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carhoch
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Jun 28, 2014 21:46:39 GMT
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Post by carhoch on Mar 23, 2016 0:06:57 GMT
I lost a pair of fancy sunglasses last year and I am 52 year old we all make mistakes she's just seven I would let it go .
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YooHoot
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Jun 26, 2014 3:11:50 GMT
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Post by YooHoot on Mar 23, 2016 0:07:21 GMT
How could a 7 year old work off $70.00? Again she is 7, not 12 or 17, just 7! Teacher's don't have time to check every child for whatever the parent wants them to check for. I would chalk it up to her being a kid. BUT....The OP wants a consequence. Her mom can come up with a payment table (unload dishwasher $1.00 etc).
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Post by freecharlie on Mar 23, 2016 0:09:43 GMT
Eh, I would punish her at all. I'd tell her she is not allowed to take off the new sweater I buy even if it is warm. Roll up the sleves.
Hell o probably wouldn't even do that. She's 7. I lose things at 40. Shit happens.
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Post by Zee on Mar 23, 2016 0:12:35 GMT
She's only 7. I would be more annoyed that the sweaters for a 7 year old cost $70. My DS lost more than a couple sweatshirts in school and thankfully they were only Old Navy brand. I'd be annoyed with her for not using her locker but I really can't think of any suitable punishment for losing a sweater.
DH is constantly losing sunglasses and gloves, maybe someone can think of a suitable punishment for him, lol
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Post by AnastasiaBeaverhausn on Mar 23, 2016 0:14:09 GMT
Since she's 7 and you need a consequence, isn't a consequence that she is cold? Don't buy her a replacement and she will be chilly on her way to class and home again depending on where you live.
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YooHoot
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Post by YooHoot on Mar 23, 2016 0:16:04 GMT
Since she's 7 and you need a consequence, isn't a consequence that she is cold? Don't buy her a replacement and she will be chilly on her way to class and home again depending on where you live. Yeah but then she's a shitty parent for not sending her child dressed for the elements.
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YooHoot
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Post by YooHoot on Mar 23, 2016 0:17:21 GMT
DH is constantly losing sunglasses and gloves, maybe someone can think of a suitable punishment for him, lol Call him the *c* word?
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MizIndependent
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Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Mar 23, 2016 0:18:03 GMT
Why doesn't she listen to me and put the sweater in her locker? Well, she is seven. This is where she learns the good habits of keeping her things properly stored. I for one, would not be buying a seven year old $70 sweaters. Perhaps that should be the punishment. Maybe, next time she needs clothes, take her to your local Goodwill or St. Vinnie's. Also, taking her back to school to look for it would be good, start with Lost & Found and then proceed from there. If that isn't enough to drive the point home, maybe make up a list of chores she can do to "work off" the cost of the missing item.
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Post by zztop11 on Mar 23, 2016 0:19:54 GMT
This may not be related but I need to ask, why a 7 year old needed a sweater that cost $70. I understand it was part of their uniform, but $70. I agree with the others, she's only 7. Take her to Goodwill and buy another sweater for $4.
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Post by kluski on Mar 23, 2016 0:21:02 GMT
Is her name on the tag? With all the kids wearing the same sweaters, it's likely any of her classmates grabbed it and may not even know it.
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Post by christine58 on Mar 23, 2016 0:21:34 GMT
This may not be related but I need to ask, why a 7 year old needed a sweater that cost $70. I understand it was part of their uniform, but $70. I agree with the others, she's only 7. Take her to Goodwill and buy another sweater for $4. I bet it has the school logo on it and it's all they can wear....
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Post by crazy4scraps on Mar 23, 2016 0:22:07 GMT
It's tough because little kids just lose stuff and sometimes it makes absolutely NO sense. My kid lost a pair of SNOWPANTS in pre-K that she wore every single day--in the middle of winter! How the heck does THAT happen? I checked with the teacher, the bus driver and looked in the lost and found (scary and gross only scratches the surface), nothing. Finally I described the snowpants to her teacher who showed her a pair, and she said, "Nope, not mine." But when I went to school and the teacher showed me, they were hers but they were missing a heavy duty plastic buckle and were attached with a big baby blue safety pin--so of course they weren't hers because hers didn't have a pin. I think at that age all you can do is to work with them to try to remember what they had when they went to school and make sure they have those same things when they come back home. I also think that if the sweater is part of a required uniform, all of the kids will have one so it's probably floating around the school somewhere and won't go anywhere between now and when school opens again after break. It's also possible that a custodian or someone might turn it up in the meantime and hopefully it will wind up in lost and found.
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Post by spitfiregirl on Mar 23, 2016 0:22:59 GMT
oh my god. i cant believe this thread. MAKE A 7 YEAR OLD PAY OFF $70! THATS INSANE. MAKE HER GO TO SCHOOL IN THE COLD? THATS INSANE,
I would go to the school and try to find it. Its probably in thew lost and found. I would also not buy her another $70 sweater. A $20 sweater could work... maybe a hand me down from poshmark or something
You can teach her some skills to try and remember things.... Try and teach her a memory game and reward her for remembering and developing good habits take away things if she forgets or loses things.... take away computer/tv time.... or add chores
if it keeps on happening sew tags inside the clothing with your number?
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Post by cmpeter on Mar 23, 2016 0:29:43 GMT
I also wouldn't punish my 7 year old for losing a sweater. I also wouldn't assume it's lost at this point until I or my dh had done a more complete search of the lost and found and spoken to the teacher.
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Post by ihaveonly1l on Mar 23, 2016 0:30:59 GMT
Please don't ask the teacher to check to see if she's wearing her sweater. We don't have time for that.
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Post by moveablefeast on Mar 23, 2016 0:33:57 GMT
are there any secondhand uniforms available? Sometimes our private school friends buy secondhand stuff off craigslist or FB yard sale sites. I might replace it with a secondhand sweater if I could. Too close to spring to buy a new one that won't get worn much anymore.
I would have her pay for part of whatever I decided by doing chores, but it would be hard for my 8yo to earn $70 doing chores. Mine is saving up for Shopkins and I would have her pay for part of the sweater with that money.
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Post by jemmls4 on Mar 23, 2016 0:36:16 GMT
OP stated the sweater is required, so she has to buy another one. I'm betting its part of a school uniform. Uniforms are ridiculously expensive. I went to Catholic school almost forty years ago and the jumper I had to wear was over $50. For a ten y.o. 40 years ago, so I can totally believe a sweater for a 7 y.o. Costs $70.
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