jenkate77
Full Member
Posts: 427
Jun 26, 2014 1:33:16 GMT
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Post by jenkate77 on Mar 25, 2016 23:40:00 GMT
Last fall I asked if you would leave your teenage son home alone while I was gone for 9 hours for a soccer game. You assured me that I was crazy and clipping his wings by not letting him stay home.... so I've been letting him stay home. We've even let him take a few overnight camping trips with friends. (Yay me!) Tonight we're headed out of town for Easter. He wants to stay home and spend the day out of town with friends from the swim team. I had originally said yes to a day trip - when they were going today and would be back before we left tonight. My objection is mostly that we're going out of town for the holiday as a family. But even if it WERE for a soccer game I don't think I'd let him stay home alone He would be home alone tonight, then he'd be in Moab (about two hours from us) for the day with a bunch of high school friends. And then home alone tomorrow night and again until late Sunday night. He's upset that I won't let him go because this is the last year to hang out with the Seniors. (He is a 15 year old Sophmore.) I do like all of the boys that are Seniors, but I also know that most of them drink on occasion. If he's going to go with them, I want to be able to see him when he gets home. And, you know, maybe smell him.  I do want to let him spread his wings, and learn to make good choices on his own and enjoy his friends. So what say the Peas? If your entire family is going out of town for a holiday is it reasonable to "force" your 15 year old to accompany you instead of spending the weekend with his friends? Is 15 too young to be left alone and unattended for two days and two nights? |
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Mar 25, 2016 23:42:45 GMT
I usually fall on the more free-range parenting side but no way would I allow my 15yo to stay home alone overnight. I would force him to go to the family thing.
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Post by chaosisapony on Mar 25, 2016 23:43:21 GMT
I was on the side of leaving him home alone last time but I don't think 2 days and 2 nights with no parental supervision is really appropriate for a 15 year old. He should be spending the holiday with his family.
The older kids drinking and getting up to stuff would concern me too since you wouldn't be there when he comes home.
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JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,827 
Location: Indianapolis
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Post by JustTricia on Mar 25, 2016 23:44:09 GMT
Family trip.
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Post by freecharlie on Mar 25, 2016 23:47:08 GMT
I would allow him to stay with a friend with a parent I trust, but not by himself. And I am a pretty laid back parent.
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Post by AussieMeg on Mar 25, 2016 23:47:09 GMT
I remember your other thread, and I was definitely in the camp of letting him stay home for 9 hours.
This time, I'm not so sure. I wouldn't leave my son or daughter at home alone for 2 nights at the age of 15. At that age they'd be expected to come away with us on a family trip. My daughter has only just recently, at the age of 18, stayed home while the rest of us went away for a long weekend (the main reason being she had to work on the Saturday).
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
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Post by perumbula on Mar 25, 2016 23:49:00 GMT
nope. Family trip is a family trip. Also, I would not leave a 15 year old home alone that long alone.
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Post by Linda on Mar 25, 2016 23:50:25 GMT
family trip - 15 is too young to stay home overnight alone
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oaksong
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,164
Location: LA Suburbia
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on Mar 25, 2016 23:50:46 GMT
At 15, requiring his presence for family holidays is reasonable. I wouldn't want my sophomore kids hanging out unsupervised with seniors. My DD put that scenario to the test when she was a sophomore (I thought I had checked out the situation, but I wasn't thorough enough.) Some of the kids ended up getting expelled from school. Luckily DD wasn't one of them.
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Post by anonrefugee on Mar 25, 2016 23:51:58 GMT
I thought the day trip was fine.
But missing a family holiday, two nights, and Senior boys who might drink ? I'm out!!!
<<<<<< realistic mom of boys, a 15 y/o freshman on HS swim team and a senior.
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Mar 25, 2016 23:52:21 GMT
Nope. That's way too long!
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Post by ljs1691 on Mar 25, 2016 23:55:13 GMT
Family trip....teenagers have to go.
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Post by scrapmaven on Mar 25, 2016 23:56:31 GMT
Staying overnight w/seniors who are nice, but sometimes drink when you're only 15 is not a good idea. I vote for bringing him on the family trip.
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Post by CarolT on Mar 25, 2016 23:57:03 GMT
Family trip, for sure. And I wouldn't leave a 15 year old home alone for 2 days and nights.
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Post by stampnscrap1128 on Mar 25, 2016 23:59:39 GMT
9 hours vs. 2 days/2 nights - no brainer. He should go with you. Plus family trumps friends on holidays.
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Post by gar on Mar 25, 2016 23:59:41 GMT
I am with the majority. And even for him, what sounds fun now may feel a little bit too much when it actually comes around. I might rethink if he could stay with a friend though, if I knew the parents etc
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Post by leannec on Mar 26, 2016 0:01:27 GMT
I'm not even close to being a helicopter Mum but 15 is too young to stay at home alone for that amount of time ... he would be going on the family trip ... Poor thing can just pout  |
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,294
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Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Mar 26, 2016 0:04:07 GMT
Family trip.
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jenkate77
Full Member
Posts: 427
Jun 26, 2014 1:33:16 GMT
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Post by jenkate77 on Mar 26, 2016 0:05:44 GMT
I'm not even close to being a helicopter Mum but 15 is too young to stay at home alone for that amount of time ... he would be going on the family trip ... Poor thing can just pout Oh, he is. No worries there! |
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MaryMary
Pearl Clutcher
Lazy
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Post by MaryMary on Mar 26, 2016 0:14:25 GMT
He'd be coming with us.
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lesley
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My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,179
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
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Post by lesley on Mar 26, 2016 0:19:22 GMT
Just like with your previous dilemma, you know that when the Peas are unanimous, it is the right thing to do! Your son goes with you.  |
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Mar 26, 2016 0:24:47 GMT
It would depend upon the kid. My dd was a band geek. I'm sure her friends drank but I never knew about it. She was a homebody, so I left her alone for an overnight when she was 15. However, I did tell her that friends and family would be driving by to check up on her, and I was constantly texting her. The situation you described I'd probably say no because he should be going on the family trip.
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Post by gritzi on Mar 26, 2016 0:28:13 GMT
There's no way I would leave my 15yo alone for two days.
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Post by cmpeter on Mar 26, 2016 0:28:45 GMT
My 15 year old would be coming on the family trip.
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vforeyt
Shy Member
Posts: 48
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Post by vforeyt on Mar 26, 2016 0:42:15 GMT
I think with 2 days and nights there is too much room for something to go wrong. I remember being left home during a family vacation at 17 and it wasn't pretty  . If he could stay at a friends house whose parents would be there I would say yes, but not home alone. |
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Post by hop2 on Mar 26, 2016 0:47:33 GMT
I am most likely one who Previously told you you know your is best but I'd have no issue leaving mine home for the 9 hr soccer game. But this time 1 it's a family trip 2 it's 2 nights ALONE your out of town and so is everyone one else if he has issues who would he call? 3 leave a sophomore home on a holiday possibly spring break weekend?  And seniors know he's home alone?? I'd probably not do that. But, you know your kid best. Go with your gut. You know what's right for you, your family, your child. Stick to it you are the parent. |
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caro
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Post by caro on Mar 26, 2016 0:53:02 GMT
He needs to go on the family trip. 15 is too young for that much freedom. Trust me, I've raised 3 kids.
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Post by christine58 on Mar 26, 2016 0:54:05 GMT
Family trumps...he needs to go with you.
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Post by Merge on Mar 26, 2016 1:01:26 GMT
I agree with the others! He goes with you.
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Post by bc2ca on Mar 26, 2016 1:06:00 GMT
I would allow him to stay with a friend with a parent I trust, but not by himself. And I am a pretty laid back parent. If staying with a friend was an option, I'd be fine with that, but no way would my DS have stayed alone for 2 days/nights at 15. We did let him stay home for 5 days last summer with DD(18) and had no problems. |
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. If he could stay at a friends house whose parents would be there I would say yes, but not home alone.
And seniors know he's home alone?? I'd probably not do that. 
