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Post by Merge on Apr 7, 2016 20:08:23 GMT
Dear teacher next door,
We've had an arrangement all year where we send kids who are disruptive to each other's rooms to cool down. This has worked out fine. I've had your kids in my room many times, and I put them in a corner in a chair and let them think about their choices. Sometimes I talk with them about what happened, but realizing that I am only getting one side of the story from them, I always support you.
Today I sent some girls who were derailing my rehearsal to sit in your room, and you sent them back after about fifteen minutes, after having had a "conversation" with them. This conversation, they were happy to report to the class, involved criticizing my repertoire choices, my decision making and my classroom management to my students and in front of yours. They gave some very specific details that make it clear that these were your words they were repeating and not some shit they made up.
I have tried to be a positive and supportive colleague to you, but as of today, I am just done. No, your kids may not rehearse in my room after school when I'm trying to do my lesson plans. No, they may not borrow my auditorium key because you lost yours, and no, they may not borrow my three-hole punch or stapler fifteen times during class because you can't find those, either. No, I will not take your entire homeroom class when you are running late, and no, I will not "find some worksheets" for your classes when you have a sub and can't be bothered to make plans. As of today, "no" is a complete sentence for me where you are concerned.
It's obvious to me now that the real reason I'm the third teacher in the position in three years is as much to do with your toxic, passive aggressive bullshit as it is to do with the difficulty of the kids.
Signed,
Your colleague
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Post by hop2 on Apr 7, 2016 20:12:28 GMT
Dang Merge, you really got the shaft with this job in so many ways. It's hard to imagine you haven't lost your mind yet!!!!
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Post by Merge on Apr 7, 2016 20:15:21 GMT
Dang Merge, you really got the shaft with this job in so many ways. It's hard to imagine you haven't lost your mind yet!!!! I know. I'm frustrated with my own continual complaints (sorry peas and thanks for letting me vent) but things had actually been going much better ... until this. There is literally no one else I can vent to other than DH, and he doesn't want to hear it, either. Well, lesson learned. I got my vent out and tomorrow's another day. |
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Post by hop2 on Apr 7, 2016 20:16:47 GMT
Dang Merge, you really got the shaft with this job in so many ways. It's hard to imagine you haven't lost your mind yet!!!! I know. I'm frustrated with my own continual complaints (sorry peas and thanks for letting me vent) but things had actually been going much better ... until this. Well, lesson learned. I got my vent out and tomorrow's another day. That wasn't meant as me having an issue with your vents. I'm just commiserating with how bad it's been for you! |
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,956
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Apr 7, 2016 20:18:38 GMT
What a bunch of crap. I would be venting too!!
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Post by Merge on Apr 7, 2016 20:31:17 GMT
I know. I'm frustrated with my own continual complaints (sorry peas and thanks for letting me vent) but things had actually been going much better ... until this. Well, lesson learned. I got my vent out and tomorrow's another day. That wasn't meant as me having an issue with your vents. I'm just commiserating with how bad it's been for you! I know! I'm sorry - I truly am frustrated with myself for letting things at work get to me so much. |
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Post by MorellisCupcake on Apr 7, 2016 20:53:35 GMT
We are not playing Hot Potato here. When something crosses your desk, deal with it, don't just pass it off to someone else and think you did your job.
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Post by padresfan619 on Apr 7, 2016 21:01:54 GMT
Dear Co-worker,
We are going to be one person down until a week from today. You knew this in advance. His vacation has been marked on the calendar for a month. Why would you set an appointment for when he was gone? And why did you call in sick two days in a row after the appointment? I know we have unlimited sick time, but use a little discretion when we are already down a person.
And related to this, Dear Manager,
I know you are pissed off that above coworker has been slacking off, but don't make it so obvious. I hate having to walk on egg shells around you because you're in a rotten mood. And you always make rash decisions about our processes and materials during a bad mood spell. You need to stop allowing your emotions to take such a hold of your decisions. I just hope I can stay on your good side, because it sucks to be the victim of your bad moods.
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,300 
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Post by Mystie on Apr 7, 2016 21:09:06 GMT
That wasn't meant as me having an issue with your vents. I'm just commiserating with how bad it's been for you! I know! I'm sorry - I truly am frustrated with myself for letting things at work get to me so much. Don't put that on yourself, Merge--you have had a shitty year and you need to let out the stress. I really hope you can find a better place soon. |
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
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Post by perumbula on Apr 7, 2016 21:20:15 GMT
If someone says they can help give me advice and training when my broker isn't available, I expect that advice to be correct and not blown up fantasy land crap. I had a $250,000 sale walk away because he made me look like an idiot when I had to go back and correct information he told me. Then he recommended a contractor who decided to swear at a tennant. When I told him about that one, he laughed, like it's totally funny and not completely unprofessional behavior that could potentially harm my bottom line.
Guess who I won't be calling next time I can't reach my broker?
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Post by hop2 on Apr 7, 2016 21:26:04 GMT
I know! I'm sorry - I truly am frustrated with myself for letting things at work get to me so much. Don't put that on yourself, Merge--you have had a shitty year and you need to let out the stress. I really hope you can find a better place soon. Seriously It sucks when you get stuck with a coworker that throws you under the bus. It just sucks AND if your tempted even for a minute to entertain her requests stop back in here and we'll validate your 'hell no' |
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,790
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Post by purplebee on Apr 7, 2016 21:48:57 GMT
Oh man, Merge, you are way overdue for some good stuff to happen, hope things turn around for you for the rest of the year.
At least there's a light at the end of the tunnel re the school year. Hugs.....
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Post by gmcwife1 on Apr 7, 2016 22:00:08 GMT
Dear co-worker We know you are trying to move up, but stop snitching, using your fake voice and saying yes to everything the boss says. Yes people do not help get the job done, nor do they improve any of the processes. We have to be able to question things to find the gaps and make sure things are moving in the right direction. Oh and boss, yes people do not help us meet our value of 'challenging convention'  |
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Post by maryland on Apr 7, 2016 22:27:53 GMT
I think your letter sounds fine! I wouldn't take her kids anymore either!
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Post by mom2rjcr on Apr 7, 2016 22:44:29 GMT
Dear fellow special education teacher, There is not your money and my money, it our department's money. Do not get pissy with me when I tell you that the remaining money left in our very tiny budget was spent on new items that we are going to need for the next year for our new students. So don't ask me where "your" money is. In case you missed it, we are getting two new kindergarten students next year that are severely disabled and we have never had them on our campus before, therefore we HAVE nothing for them...no learning materials, no specialized furniture. Remember last week, when I gave you the catalog and asked you to pick out somethings we might need? Apparently not, now you are upset that I ordered some things for them with our remaining money. I can't wait until next October when our new budget opens to get learning materials. I am the Department Head and I do get make the final decisions. I asked you for input and didn't get any. When the deadline approached for turning in final P.O.'s arrives you are out for three days. I made the decision for OUR department. Suck it up, buttercup! BTW we are talking about $400. That is 2/3 of our budget and it hardly bought us anything these babies will need or will pay for any training we will both need or the two new paraprofessionals we will have on our team. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 1, 2024 9:37:52 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2016 23:38:48 GMT
Dear coworker,
I would love it if you would show up to work and stop calling in sick. If you need to take some time off to get better, fine. But stop leaving me alone for days at a time. 3 days this week so far and 2 last week. I think you might have a different job. Well now I am suffering. Thanks!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 7, 2016 23:55:13 GMT
I know! I'm sorry - I truly am frustrated with myself for letting things at work get to me so much. Don't put that on yourself, Merge--you have had a shitty year and you need to let out the stress. I really hope you can find a better place soon.  Cut yourself a little slack, the stuff you've vented about here has been completely justified IMHO. |
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Apr 8, 2016 2:16:35 GMT
That seriously sucks. I'd be so pissed!
My vent... Dear new co-worker, I'd like to thank you. Your behavior triggered me to do some introspection which is always valuable. You see, this is a new job and yet I already have a problem with a co-worker. Why? What does that mean about me? So, after sitting down and really giving it some thought I realized that I just do not work well with people who are insecure. I know you have the same degree I do. Yeah for us! But, I've been working in this field for 20 years. You have 6 - ish. I know you think I'm just arrogant and a know it all. I heard you talking about me. Did you forget we sit directly across from each other in this cube farm? But, your insecurity does not define me as a worker. Your lack of clinical, professional and empirically tested data is not my fault. I'm not going to pretend to be an idiot just because your anxiety medicine didn't get refilled (remember that cube? yep, those private phone calls aren't so private.) I'm trying to have compassion for you. I see you have been second to your husband's career for 26 years. I'm proud of you for stepping up and taking care of yourself by earning a degree and getting a job. I know what you think of me because my girls are young but not all of us can get knocked up early in life. Ask me about my pregnancy loss, infertility sometime and maybe your judgement would stop. You are okay just as you are. So am I. I'll celebrate your successes but don't ever ask me to proofread something again because when I red penned that thing the death your feelings were hurt. Your feelings being hurt speak to your professionalism, not mine.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Apr 8, 2016 2:26:38 GMT
I'll celebrate your successes but don't ever ask me to proofread something again because when I red penned that thing the death your feelings were hurt. Your feelings being hurt speak to your professionalism, not mine. Well, there's your problem. Everyone knows you're not supposed to use a red pen to make corrections because it hurts people's feelings. Next time, try purple.  (Seriously; it's why red pencils aren't on school supply lists anymore.) |
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Post by freecharlie on Apr 8, 2016 2:30:42 GMT
I'll celebrate your successes but don't ever ask me to proofread something again because when I red penned that thing the death your feelings were hurt. Your feelings being hurt speak to your professionalism, not mine. Well, there's your problem. Everyone knows you're not supposed to use a red pen to make corrections because it hurts people's feelings. Next time, try purple. (Seriously; it's why red pencils aren't on school supply lists anymore.) Unfortunately it is fairly true (although they are on my list for the student's "hot times".) I grade in every color, but red. I buy a pack of colored pens at the beginning of the year and use the hell out of all but red. |
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,734
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Post by ellen on Apr 8, 2016 2:42:39 GMT
I'll celebrate your successes but don't ever ask me to proofread something again because when I red penned that thing the death your feelings were hurt. Your feelings being hurt speak to your professionalism, not mine. Well, there's your problem. Everyone knows you're not supposed to use a red pen to make corrections because it hurts people's feelings. Next time, try purple. (Seriously; it's why red pencils aren't on school supply lists anymore.) Lol, I do all my correcting and commenting in purple. Parents really do gripe about red pens. |
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Post by hop2 on Apr 8, 2016 3:08:08 GMT
I'll celebrate your successes but don't ever ask me to proofread something again because when I red penned that thing the death your feelings were hurt. Your feelings being hurt speak to your professionalism, not mine. Well, there's your problem. Everyone knows you're not supposed to use a red pen to make corrections because it hurts people's feelings. Next time, try purple. (Seriously; it's why red pencils aren't on school supply lists anymore.) Red pen? Who red pens anymore   You just edit it in suggestion mode on google docs and because it's 'suggestion mode' it doesn't hurt their feelings as much because they have the power to accept or reject your suggestions. |
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Post by anniefb on Apr 8, 2016 5:09:16 GMT
Dear boss
You may have noticed I'm the only person in this office with the knowledge/experience for doing this particular kind of work. I know I'm a freaking amazing employee, but I can still only do one thing at a time. Which of these 2 conflicting meetings and multiple tasks do you want me to go to/do first? If you want more than one thing done at a time, please hire another staff member to help me.
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Peal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,524
Jun 25, 2014 22:45:40 GMT
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Post by Peal on Apr 8, 2016 5:23:54 GMT
Dear coworker,
For the love of all that is holy, please chew with your mouth closed.
Dear manager,
A radio or TV in the break room would be greatly appreciated by the whole staff. Maybe a white noise machine?
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Apr 8, 2016 9:58:01 GMT
Dear Co-worker,
Seventeen smoke breaks in a five hour shift is not reasonable. I pretty much worked the whole shift alone.
Dear Manager,
Why do you not tell my coworkers to not take so many damn smoke breaks? Since I don't smoke, maybe I should just take tea breaks as many times as they take smoke breaks. Oh, but then nothing would get done? I see....
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Post by Ellie on Apr 8, 2016 10:36:30 GMT
Dear Boss,
Please stop calling in quite so much. Seven times since January? And six of those times doing so when your boss is out? And working from home due to bad weather that was forecasted the day before but didn't happen? We all came in. Even our team member who commutes an hour (where there WAS bad weather). And use better excuses. Unless you're interviewing somewhere else. Then it's OK.
We all feel like you've checked out. Get with it or find something new. Or at least give us the autonomy and authority to get things done. And don't take credit for stuff you had no part in! I saw you do that to S again this week. She's awesome and will leave if you don't stop!!
-Ellie
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,829
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Apr 8, 2016 11:10:09 GMT
Dear coworker,
Stop bragging about having all of NEXT school year's lesson plans done. That tells me you are not responsive to your student's needs and certainly do not use your student data to drive instruction.
When you tell everyone who will listen that you have taught all eleventy billion state standards by Thanksgiving, that is introducing and not teaching.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 1, 2024 9:37:52 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2016 13:29:19 GMT
Dear coworker, Stop bragging about having all of NEXT school year's lesson plans done. That tells me you are not responsive to your student's needs and certainly do not use your student data to drive instruction. When you tell everyone who will listen that you have taught all eleventy billion state standards by Thanksgiving, that is introducing and not teaching. Wow! Next year's! That is crazy. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 1, 2024 9:37:52 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2016 13:47:43 GMT
No I don't want to hang out after work. No I don't feel we are BFFs. No I don't know the intimate details of you family members' lives....so I have no freakin idea what you are talking about nor do I care. And btw, you are bitching about another coworker who never shuts up.....reflect on that a bit.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Apr 8, 2016 13:50:33 GMT
I know! I'm sorry - I truly am frustrated with myself for letting things at work get to me so much. Merge, you have every right to be highly pissed off at that coworker. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Don't live in the land of "shoulds" as in I shouldn't let it bother me, I should just roll with it (or whatever your own self talk is). "Should" isn't reality! Be kind to yourself. Your coworker is an ass! |
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Cut yourself a little slack, the stuff you've vented about here has been completely justified IMHO.
(Seriously; it's why red pencils aren't on school supply lists anymore.)
