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Post by freecharlie on Apr 16, 2016 4:32:31 GMT
According to the 10 Commandments Adultery is indeed a crime. I don't think it is a crime in the 10 commandment, a sin, yes, but not a crime. Taking the lord's name in vain is also in the 10 commandments, shall that be a "crime" as well?
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
Jun 26, 2014 12:25:29 GMT
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Post by oldcrow on Apr 16, 2016 16:39:34 GMT
Why is the problem with the girlfriend/fiancé? Why is she the one you are worried about how you are going to treat? The husband is the one who broke marriage vows and cheated on his wife - I would think he should be the one the disgust is directed towards, and it should be more awkward having him around whether he has his fiancé there or not. I really hate it when the "other woman" gets all the blame, when the husband is the one who cheated on his vows. If cheating really bothers you (general you), you should have a harder time being around the husband/dad than his fiancé. Well said. I don't know how many times I have heard someone say that so and so stole someone's spouse. You cannot steal a person, they must go willingly. I also know some women who dated and became invested in their new person only to find out too late that he was married. But everyone of them were accused of home wrecking.
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Post by compeateropeator on Apr 16, 2016 17:14:59 GMT
I don't like it, but she's my friend, not her spouse. All the things I love her for are still there and I'm not about to end our friendship over her infidelity. It has nothing to do with our friendship. I agree with this. Depending on the person, situations, and what ever else changes and happen, I would continue to love my friend and maintain my friendship. if I knew the correct biblical phrase I would use the one that meant I can love the sinner and hate the sin. ETA - I see someone might have used the phrase that I was thinking of...I did a no no and posted after only reading 1 page. Sorry and off to read the whole thing now.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Apr 16, 2016 17:55:01 GMT
Why is the problem with the girlfriend/fiancé? Why is she the one you are worried about how you are going to treat? The husband is the one who broke marriage vows and cheated on his wife - I would think he should be the one the disgust is directed towards, and it should be more awkward having him around whether he has his fiancé there or not. I really hate it when the "other woman" gets all the blame, when the husband is the one who cheated on his vows. If cheating really bothers you (general you), you should have a harder time being around the husband/dad than his fiancé. Well said. I don't know how many times I have heard someone say that so and so stole someone's spouse. You cannot steal a person, they must go willingly. I also know some women who dated and became invested in their new person only to find out too late that he was married. But everyone of them were accused of home wrecking. I've been seeing the husband throughout the whole thing, so how I respond to him is nothing new or something to consider at this point. That being said, there are various reasons why the "other woman" gets a bad rap. If your spouse cheats, it is easy to place the blame on the other person because 1) you don't have any other connection to them. In most situations, you do not know them well or have any other way of knowing anything about them other than that they slept with your husband (or your friend's husband, or whatever). Yes, your husband is the one who broke the vows (and I am sure the wife is ticked at him as well) but you have a history with him and have more positivity to look back on than some random "other woman". Hope that makes sense. Typing quickly. . And 2) if you are trying to work things out with your husband, at some point you need to let things go and forgive. Sometimes that forgiveness is not given to the other woman because of what I described in #1 and also because it is easier to move on if you have someone else to fault than your spouse. I also think that as women, we aren't as surprised if a man cheats. A lot of people see it as in their nature, even though it is not condoned. If a woman sleeps with another woman's man, it feels like a betrayal of womanhood in a way.
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Post by compeateropeator on Apr 16, 2016 18:11:24 GMT
Slippery slope time. For those of you that state you couldn't judge a friend for a character flaw, how far does that grace extend? Can they steal? Murder? Molest? If you support a friend that sleeps with married men, can you look the other way if it is YOUR husband? Um big difference between a friend having an affair and the murdering someone and molesting someone. Your comparison/ slippery slope analogy isn't even the same in my opinion. I agree that it isn't the same. If I was going to go way over the top with "what if" questions mine would be... What if you found out the cheater was your son or daughter, what support would you offer then? Or would you have to look the other way?
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Apr 16, 2016 21:48:00 GMT
Um big difference between a friend having an affair and the murdering someone and molesting someone. Your comparison/ slippery slope analogy isn't even the same in my opinion. I agree that it isn't the same. If I was going to go way over the top with "what if" questions mine would be... What if you found out the cheater was your son or daughter, what support would you offer then? Or would you have to look the other way? I was thinking about this the other day. I would be crushed. I would still love them. I would see to it that the spouse and children weren't left out in the cold. I would give them a huge WTF, most likely more than once. The rest would probably depend on the situation, although I would never condone it (assuming that my child was willingly involved in the affair & not someone who had been mislead into thinking the partner was not married).
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