freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Apr 14, 2016 14:32:29 GMT
Why would causing a scene not necessarily be the best thing to do? I would imagine there are calmer more effective ways to handle something like this. Whatever they are, they're not in my bag of tricks so I can't draw on them. Sometimes, after I've done what I thought I needed to do, it feels as though more focus is on the batshit crazy woman than the asswipe that started it. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if I've been assaulted (and that's what this is), I'd really want to draw a lot of attention to myself at that moment. Don't care if anyone thinks I'm crazy.
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
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Post by M in Carolina on Apr 14, 2016 14:57:28 GMT
I had a lot of trouble with different boys rubbing up against me at my job and then at the Christian fundy high school I went to.
For the guy at work, I kept a fork and knife in my apron pocket and would jab it into his balls when he'd rub up against me as I worked the cash register and couldn't get away. One night a firefighter/EMS guy noticed what was happening and pulled the guy off and tore him a new one right in front of everyone and told me to call the police if it happened again.
The only problem with fighting back is that sometimes these guys can wait for you to be alone to get revenge. The guy at work locked me in the freezer, hoping I'd get so cold I couldn't resist. I jogged in place to stay warm and put a lot of easy to handle heavy frozen stuff to throw at him when he reopened the door--he broke the inside safety release so I couldn't get out. Thankfully another guy I worked with noticed that I had been gone way too long, and that the creep had gone to the back as well. I almost knocked him out when he opened the freezer door--because I threw a case of food at him. He yelled that it was him. I think he also beat the guy up in the parking lot, but he wasn't the kind of guy who bragged about stuff like that.
The guy at my school did it when we were at a camp, and I had been swimming and was all wet. I didn't report it because I knew I'd get blamed for walking around wet. I did hit him in the balls with a foosball table handle.
I always thought I would act differently if somebody did something to me on the subway, but because the guy was masterbating, I was more afraid of him getting his jizz on me. I did stand up and move and report it when I got to the next station. They acted like nobody had ever reported something like that before.
If I did yell at someone and was alone, I would ask a store manager or guard or somebody to walk with me to my car to make sure that the creep wasn't waiting for me.
Sadly people expect women to just shut up and take it. No wonder we have such a rape culture in our society.
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Post by littlefish on Apr 14, 2016 15:52:57 GMT
I can see one of three things happening. 1. Teacher look (as a PP stated) 2. Sarcastic comment 3. Elbow
I will say it also depends on how off guard I am. If there's a brush or two first my hackles will be up as it is. If it's a straight grab I might be too surprised to say anything.
I think creeps like that depend on women not speaking up.
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Post by whopea on Apr 14, 2016 15:58:26 GMT
At the first discomfort of feeling the invasion into my personal space, I hope I would step aside and say something like, you're obviously in a hurry, why don't you go in front of me. Trying to diffuse it but letting him know I wouldn't have any of that.
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Post by ExpatBackHome on Apr 14, 2016 17:12:17 GMT
I would have probably done the same as you did. I wouldn't be able to get my thoughts together after being shocked it happened. I would like to think I would say something but probably not.
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traceydenn
Shy Member
Posts: 47
Jun 27, 2014 18:29:24 GMT
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Post by traceydenn on Apr 14, 2016 19:26:13 GMT
When it happened to me it was all so quick there was no time to respond. I was standing in a stadium concession area waiting for a friend. Someone grabbed and squeezed my butt. I turned around quickly and the only possible groper was a Boy Scout in uniform. I was 19 and didn't do anything. I like to think that now when I am older I would react by shouting at him, but who knows. It was so sudden and so shocking.
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Post by sparkyduchess on Apr 14, 2016 20:16:49 GMT
This has happened to me a few times and I usually freeze and then am really pissed off with myself afterwards. A little while ago though, I was waiting in line at a coffee shop with my 16 year old goddaughter and the guy behind me was rubbing himself up against me (she's stood in front of me). I couldn't move away, and for some reason it felt really important for her to see me stand up for myself, so I said loudly 'good god, Livi, the man behind me is rubbing himself up against me the way Chester does (god daughters terrier)'. She cracked up, he froze and turned scarlet, and I got free coffee from the very amused barista . I have a very clear, precise voice and EVERYONE heard me. I'm normally REALLY reluctant to draw attention to myself, but that was totally worth it. goddaughter can't decide if I'm brilliant or deeply embarrassing, I think we've decided I can be both simultaneously.
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peabrain
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,588
Jun 25, 2014 22:18:04 GMT
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Post by peabrain on Apr 14, 2016 21:12:45 GMT
I'm sorry too Really sucky I have a mouth on me so I'm used to letting it fly
I haven't read every reply but wanted to mention it's useful to have some basic knowledge of female self defense. Might have increased your self confidence in a situation like that
See if your local PD can find something like that for you?
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Post by birdgate on Apr 14, 2016 22:39:52 GMT
I would have reacted first to the being too close in my space because that drives me nuts. I would have stood sideways in line with my elbows out and mad dogged him. He would have gotten my, I'm not playing with you, resting bitch face look. I'd get my phone out too and text someone if I was getting creep vibes. If he is crazy enough to touch me after that my fowl mouth would have come out and I can't imagine what would have happened next.
In college I got groped by this creep during the day in the parking lot. Totally startled and shocked me. It happened so fast all I could do was cuss him out as he was running away. I had a little mild PTSD after the incident whenever I was alone in a corner of a market and someone would pop around the corner. I got a burst of anxiety which was probably just my bodies warning system. But the experience does paralyze you for a brief moment.
After dealing with a lifetime of random jerks I'm already suspicious and better equipped now to fight back and call them out. People don't know they're standing next to a jaguar in line.
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