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Post by craftmepink on Apr 13, 2016 21:39:00 GMT
Ugh I still so mad at myself for not saying anything! So standing in line today at Chipotle and there's a guy behind me that is standingthisclose to me. I think nothing of it because some people don't know what personal space is. He bumps into me occasionally. And then he touches my rear end (it was obviously on purpose). I was so shocked that I didn't say anything and only gave him a dirty look. I got my change, my food, and ran out of there.
What would you have done? I'm mad that I didn't say anything but then again, who knows what would've happened if I did?
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Post by mlynn on Apr 13, 2016 21:46:05 GMT
Well, if my old instincts kicked in, he would have been slapped before I even knew what happened.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 15:13:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2016 21:48:28 GMT
Kneed him in the crotch, step hard on his foot, gouge out his eyes? LOL...those are the scenarios that would be playing in my mind, but yeah...I'd go with giving him a dirty look.
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freebird
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Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Apr 13, 2016 21:50:21 GMT
I probably would have yelled at him! Or said something to my husband that would have laid him out.
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Post by mirabelleswalker on Apr 13, 2016 21:50:21 GMT
I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's horrible.
As soon as he was in my personal space I would have asked him to step back. I don't know what I would have done if he touched me but I am sure I would react VERY LOUDLY SO THAT EVERYONE ON THE WHOLE BLOCK KNEW.
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CeeScraps
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Jun 26, 2014 12:56:40 GMT
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Post by CeeScraps on Apr 13, 2016 21:53:54 GMT
With him so close I probably would of moved and let him in front of me.
Groping.....Ya, I'd like to slap him, but probably wouldn't. I'd probably take a step back ON TOP of his foot. Then I'd say something like, oh, I didn't realize you were there.....
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Post by hop2 on Apr 13, 2016 21:54:17 GMT
I hope I'd have smacked him. Right before calling the police but at least I hope I'd xall the police.
I dealt with being groped and doing nothing ONCE in 8th grade. I promised myself never ever again. I sure hope I have the courage to stand up for myself if it happens again. I usually tell people to back off if they are that close because I don't want further issues.
Perhaps you can call the police and they can find the guy before he does it to someone else.
There's a town near where I work that the gas station attendant was trying to grope women when they paid for their gas. One woman called 911 and plastered it all over the town message page. It turned out she wasn't the only one there were at least 2 others and the guy was arrested and had pled guilty.
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Post by hop2 on Apr 13, 2016 22:02:12 GMT
I think it's impossible to say what we would do. That's armchair guessing. If everyone always reacted loudly and defensively, sexual assault wouldn't happen very often at all. The shock Ames it difficult to respond fast enough. What happens is you end up believing you SHOUKD have reacted loudly and defensively, but then didn't, and you get angry with yourself. To me, that's like adults expecting kids to kick and scream and run, when usually all they can do is remain paralyzed by fear or shock. I'm sorry this happened to you. I would love to say I would have tired around and yelled at him not to touch me, and then called the police, but I can't know for sure. I've even been in more than one similar situation, and I reacted differently each time. You are exactly right. For many people they are shocked so much that it takes a bit to continue, breathe and think again. Almost like your frozen and your brain needs to be jolted back into gear. I was at the top of a staircase in school and literally froze there for well over a minute, then got yelled at by a teacher and had to run to class.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Apr 13, 2016 22:02:17 GMT
oh, awful!! people are really scummy sometimes, aren't they?? I would hope I'd have gone with the response that first came to mind, which was to haul off and shove him away while shouting 'what the HELL!?!?! keep your hands to yourself, you creep!!!' But like guineahen said, I have no idea what I would actually do since nothing like that's ever happened to me (knock on wood).
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 13, 2016 22:20:46 GMT
I would like to think I would have told him to cover his nuts because if he touched me again I would crack them open. There is no reason for a person to be so close in line. A dude in the grocery store did tell me he wanted to suck my toes. He didn't touch me and I made a comment and walked away. To be fair, they had just come from a pedicure.
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Post by cawoman on Apr 13, 2016 22:28:49 GMT
When I was young (20 ish) I was walking past a table of guys. One of them grabbed me in the crot*h. Instinctively I clenched a fist and swung as hard as I could catching him in the face. He was dumbfounded, shocked to say the least. He was kicked out immediately.
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Post by pierkiss on Apr 13, 2016 22:32:20 GMT
I'd like to say that I'm of the mindset of NEVER AGAIN and that I would immediately turn around and start SCREAMING AT HIM.
However, I'm not sure I'm brave enough. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hate hate hate men who do this.
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Post by lumo on Apr 13, 2016 22:35:02 GMT
I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's horrible. As soon as he was in my personal space I would have asked him to step back. I don't know what I would have done if he touched me but I am sure I would react VERY LOUDLY SO THAT EVERYONE ON THE WHOLE BLOCK KNEW. That's how I reacted when I was groped on the Tube in London. The car was very crowded, so I guess he thought he'd having a better chance of getting away with it. As soon as I realized what was happening, I yelled VERY LOUDLY for him to GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME...I'm sure everyone just thought I was a crazy American. We were at a stop by then and he ran away. Ugh. So gross. OP, I'm sorry that happened to you
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Post by Jockscrap on Apr 13, 2016 22:35:46 GMT
I'd probably do what you did, and feel like you do now about it. Can you phone the store and tell them what happened? Maybe they can check CCTV. It won't be the first time he's done it.
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Post by brina on Apr 13, 2016 23:10:41 GMT
I probably would have said something once he got too close. I had a grinder in the subway once and grabbed my backpack full of books and threw it onto my shoulder so that it whacked him pretty hard and then sweetly said, "so sorry."
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Post by kellybelly77 on Apr 13, 2016 23:20:00 GMT
The only time I have been groped in public my dh witnessed it. He laid the guy out and had him pinned to the ground before I could even gather my wits. He pinned him on his stomach and had his arm jacked around his back screaming at him. He eventually let him up.
On my own, I'm not sure what I would have done.
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Post by refugeepea on Apr 13, 2016 23:26:29 GMT
I had that happen to me in college and I was shocked as well! I just went stiff when he gave me an unwanted "hug" that was more. It was a Kenyan man who thought we should be together and we could visit Afreeka. I even talked to some other coworkers who had told me they had uncomfortable experiences with him. Once I recovered, I told my boss to never pair me with him again at work. This was years ago and I wondered if there was some cultural difference, but I don't think so. He kept his job.
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SabrinaP
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Post by SabrinaP on Apr 13, 2016 23:32:33 GMT
I would have wanted to slap him, but honestly I would probably have done exactly like you did and then kicked myself later. At the very least, I would hope that I would at least say something to him.
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GiantsFan
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Post by GiantsFan on Apr 13, 2016 23:56:14 GMT
I like to think that I would do something. But I would've probably handled it the same as you. However, when people have got to close to me standing in line (men or women) I usually ask them "do you want to go in front of me?" Most of the time they step back. Sorry this happened to you.
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J u l e e
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Post by J u l e e on Apr 14, 2016 0:01:46 GMT
With him so close I probably would of moved and let him in front of me. I know for sure I would not have yelled or screamed. That's just not me. Not that that's good. I just don't react to anything (even something frightening, angering, or dangerous, etc.) by yelling. I'm most likely to freeze and go mute. But I love the idea above. Just simply stepping aside and asking, "Would you like to go in front of me?" or even, "Would you please step in front of me?" and then just standing and waiting. I can do that!
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AnotherPea
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Post by AnotherPea on Apr 14, 2016 0:04:12 GMT
I would have caused a huge scene. Probably bigger than needed. And called the cops. The guy would have been long gone by the time he arrived, but maybe I could be successful in getting a record of sexual assault started on him. What a douche.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2016 0:04:41 GMT
Last week, a man in line behind me at the airport bumped into me twice from behind, so I glanced at him to kind of wake him up, and then he did it two more times (it was his giant belly which kept bumping the bag on my shoulder), so I turned and faced him and stared at him. He said, "SORRY!" and he didn't get near me again. Unfortunately, he was sitting next to me on the plane, but by then, he was staying as far out of my space as possible.
Usually if someone touches me from behind, I turn so they are within my peripheral vision and so they know I have noticed and am annoyed. If I have to employ the stare, the next step is to ask them for some space and tell them to stop touching me, kind of loudly if necessary.
But OP, you didn't have that opportunity. He went right from bumps to grope. In that case, I don't know what I'd do, but I'd like to think I'd make a scene. That's my plan in general - don't worry about making a scene. In reality, it's not always that easy.
The dude who gave me the "Sorry!" last week, I kept thinking, how could you run into someone 4 times and not realize it? I'm kind of over worrying about other people's feelings or giving strangers the benefit of the doubt. You can bet I'd have apologized after running into someone once, and I sure wouldn't do it three more times.
Jerks. I'm really sorry that happened to you.
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TankTop
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Post by TankTop on Apr 14, 2016 0:07:43 GMT
I am so sorry this happened to you.
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Post by disneypal on Apr 14, 2016 0:17:25 GMT
What would you have done? Honestly, I probably would have done the same thing you did.
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Post by annabella on Apr 14, 2016 0:24:44 GMT
If someone is standing too close to me in line I get out of line and stand to the side. In your case I would have gotten the manager and asked to call police. Everything that happened was on camera.
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 14, 2016 0:26:56 GMT
I would have asked him to back up and give me personal space. If he groped me I would turn around and loudly tell him to keep his hands to himself and that if he touched me again I'd call a cop. For my own safety, I would want the restaurant to hear me.
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Post by AussieMeg on Apr 14, 2016 0:37:17 GMT
I think it's impossible to say what we would do. That's armchair guessing. If everyone always reacted loudly and defensively, sexual assault wouldn't happen very often at all. The shock makes it difficult to respond fast enough. I absolutely agree with this. My BFF and I were talking about this very thing just the other day. Long story short, many years ago I was doing my grocery shopping quite late at night. A creepy guy started following me up and down every aisle. Several aisles along I turned into the next aisle and there he was masturbating right in the middle of aisle 7. I had turned the corner just in time to see him ejaculating onto the floor in front of me. I was so shocked that I felt all light-headed – you know when you’re about to faint and you see stars? - that was me. I went to get the security guard at the front and the guy took off. When my friend and I were talking about it the other day, I told her how annoyed I was that I didn't shove my trolley hard into him and yell for security. But the shock definitely made it impossible to respond fast enough. [That was quite an embarrassing conversation with the person at the front desk: “Um, you’d better get a mop and bucket to aisle 7. There’s.... ummm.... a bit of a mess on the floor.” ]
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Dalai Mama
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Post by Dalai Mama on Apr 14, 2016 0:37:33 GMT
It's happened to me. I loudly said, 'You touch my ass again and I'll break your fucking hand!'
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Post by craftmepink on Apr 14, 2016 1:00:33 GMT
I absolutely agree with this. My BFF and I were talking about this very thing just the other day. Long story short, many years ago I was doing my grocery shopping quite late at night. A creepy guy started following me up and down every aisle. Several aisles along I turned into the next aisle and there he was masturbating right in the middle of aisle 7. I had turned the corner just in time to see him ejaculating onto the floor in front of me. I was so shocked that I felt all light-headed – you know when you’re about to faint and you see stars? - that was me. I went to get the security guard at the front and the guy took off. When my friend and I were talking about it the other day, I told her how annoyed I was that I didn't shove my trolley hard into him and yell for security. But the shock definitely made it impossible to respond fast enough. [That was quite an embarrassing conversation with the person at the front desk: “Um, you’d better get a mop and bucket to aisle 7. There’s.... ummm.... a bit of a mess on the floor.” ]Wow that is so terrible! Thanks for the all the replies, just annoyed that I didn't react more quickly. But also, there were 2 little girls with their mother standing in front of me and I didn't want to cause a scene either.
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AnotherPea
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Post by AnotherPea on Apr 14, 2016 1:10:57 GMT
Causing a scene isn't necessarily the best thing to do. Don't regret not doing it. I do tend towards that direction but I don't always feel great about it afterwards.
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