momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
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Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on May 24, 2016 18:20:38 GMT
My dd started playing guitar a few years ago (lessons outside of school.) Then wanted to take piano also. This continued for a few years, but she was tiring of the guitar lessons. I asked her to stick it out until a certain time, few months down the road, hoping it was something that would pass. She stuck it out longer, never bringing it up...until she did and wanted to be done. So she quit, she likes playing, just wanted to play for her own enjoyment not the lessons.
She is still taking the piano lessons. I usually try the approach of give it a little time, usually towards a good breaking point like end of year and if it's something they still are looking to do, I go along with it.
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
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Location: Idaho
Jun 26, 2014 18:51:17 GMT
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Post by perumbula on May 24, 2016 18:25:59 GMT
The older child clearly isn't enjoying band and should be allowed to take a different class next year.
The younger child, who knows, but it's probably time for a visit about band. Find out what he isn't enjoying and what he does like about band. It's possible he's playing the wrong instrument. Baritone isn't for everyone. If he doesn't like the physical act of playing that instrument or if he just doesn't like the way it sounds, but enjoys music and the instructor, it might be worth seeing if a different instrument would suit him better. If he just plain doesn't like anything about band (and this may be his first response, but you should dig to be sure) then moving on to something else is probably the best choice.
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Post by monklady123 on May 24, 2016 18:26:05 GMT
What's the matter....you don't like listening to an ensemble of sick moose? The standard song was Good King Wenceslaus (which I'm not sure I spelled correctly, lol) for the first concert. OMG. I heard it for 4 months, times 3 kids for practice at home and then the concert. Not to mention the other years hearing the current beginning band do it. Cannot listen to it now. And yet, there is still a (deaf) portion of me that misses it...... hahahahahahahahaha ![:laugh:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/Ivm7lm0DayrhoRpwvCeH.jpg) As soon as you said that I could hear it in my mind! Must be the standard song everywhere for beginning band students. lol.
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used2scrap
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Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on May 24, 2016 18:33:27 GMT
I'm interested in how many of you on this thread talk about "quitting" band. Why not just say "give it up"? To me the kid who stops playing after however many years isn't "quitting" unless they do it in the middle of a year or season. But to stop at the end of the year is just "deciding to do something else." My ds played soccer for many years and then decided he wanted to do a different sport. I never thought of him as "quitting" soccer, just stopping to switch to something else. My dd took violin for two years in elementary school and was adamant that she did not want to continue in middle school. I was disappointed because I've always wanted to play the violin (and yes, she did choose that instrument freely of her own choice, I had no influence). But she wanted to be on the swim team and she wanted to take a different elective. I don't see that as quitting the violin. To my mind, quitting is dropping out in the middle of something (unless there's a really good reason of course). That affects your teammates, and breaks the commitment you had at the beginning. To me quitting is stopping something, I don't get the hang up on semantics. If I stopped smoking I'd say I quit smoking...if I stopped running I'd say I quit running...if I stopped playing an instrument I'd say I quit band? I played basketball 7th through 11th grade...I did not go out for the team in 12th grade. Thus I quit playing basketball.
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Post by gar on May 24, 2016 18:43:30 GMT
monklady123 - I assumed it was just used, by Americans, in the way we'd use stop. I felt the same, that quit had different connotations but assumed that was a language difference.
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Post by missmiss on May 24, 2016 18:44:29 GMT
I'm interested in how many of you on this thread talk about "quitting" band. Why not just say "give it up"? To me the kid who stops playing after however many years isn't "quitting" unless they do it in the middle of a year or season. But to stop at the end of the year is just "deciding to do something else." My ds played soccer for many years and then decided he wanted to do a different sport. I never thought of him as "quitting" soccer, just stopping to switch to something else. My dd took violin for two years in elementary school and was adamant that she did not want to continue in middle school. I was disappointed because I've always wanted to play the violin (and yes, she did choose that instrument freely of her own choice, I had no influence). But she wanted to be on the swim team and she wanted to take a different elective. I don't see that as quitting the violin. To my mind, quitting is dropping out in the middle of something (unless there's a really good reason of course). That affects your teammates, and breaks the commitment you had at the beginning. semantics really. Quitting, giving up, doesn't want to play any more, and so forth all mean the same thing. Quitting something does not equal anything bad. I quit smoking or I gave up smoking. Both mean the exact same thing I no longer smoke. HAHA Didn't even see the post a few above mine.
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Post by Marina on May 24, 2016 19:33:05 GMT
I'm curious if they ever took outside lessons? Over the years I noticed the ones with good teachers vs just taught in a group setting tended to enjoy it much more.
In high school marching band can be a huge time commitment. If they don't love it it will be that much worse then for them and those around them.
My son just opted out of marching band but will remain in honors jazz ensemble. He wants to focus on his jazz and spends a lot of time practicing which he can't do in marching band season.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on May 24, 2016 20:04:47 GMT
They definitely won't be quitting before the end of the year. But you're going to let them stop after that? I haven't decided but someone up thread commented about them quitting before the end of the school year. I was just saying that wasn't an option (not only because there is only a week left, but because I wouldn't let them quit in the middle of a semester).
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Post by monklady123 on May 24, 2016 20:22:08 GMT
monklady123 - I assumed it was just used, by Americans, in the way we'd use stop. I felt the same, that quit had different connotations but assumed that was a language difference. I guess for some here it's just semantics. But for me -- not sure if it's a regional thing or just how it was in my family -- "quitting" is a negative thing. "To stop doing" something isn't, it's just neutral or even good, as in "she finally stopped smoking". But for whoever mentioned "quit smoking" you're right, we do say that. I've never smoked but I think I might say it also -- "she FINALLY quit smoking"... Maybe because smoking is a negative thing, and "quit" is associated with negatives...? who knows, lol. But I know for my kids I wouldn't have said "ds quit soccer" because for me that's negative, like he quit in the middle of the season. Instead I'd say "ds stopped playing soccer after 6th grade". Language is so interesting. That's why I love the threads we have here about how things are said in various regions of the country, and the world.
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Deleted
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Jun 23, 2024 19:00:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 20:26:25 GMT
I've never understood this thought that because a child wants to try something once he has to do it forever or he's a quitter. My kids tried lots of things...I never forced them to continue with something they didn't enjoy. I completely understand this and have let my son try/quit multiple sports he didn't care for BUT I will admit I did make my son continue another year (back in 5th grade) when he wanted to quit. I told him to try it one more year and then if he didn't want to continue he could quit. Partly because he isn't involved in a lot of other stuff, and partly because I loved band in school. He is still in band now (8th) and loves it. He told me he is glad I made him stay with it and wants to continue in High school now. So for the 7th grader, yes, I would allow him to quit, he's been asking for a while. For the 5th I might ask him to keep at it a while longer and see if he changes his mind. I wouldn't make them continue if they really are miserable though, my son didn't hate it, just was kind of meh about it for a while.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on May 25, 2016 1:59:42 GMT
I talked to the 5th grader tonight to get more info and he said he wouldn't mind changing instruments. I asked which one he would want to switch to and he said percussion or trombone. I don't think he could do percussion because he hasn't had piano lessons but my understanding is he could easily switch from baritone to trombone. I sent an email to the teacher to ask.
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Post by anxiousmom on May 25, 2016 3:31:24 GMT
The standard song was Good King Wenceslaus (which I'm not sure I spelled correctly, lol) for the first concert. OMG. I heard it for 4 months, times 3 kids for practice at home and then the concert. Not to mention the other years hearing the current beginning band do it. Cannot listen to it now. And yet, there is still a (deaf) portion of me that misses it...... hahahahahahahahaha ![:laugh:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/Ivm7lm0DayrhoRpwvCeH.jpg) As soon as you said that I could hear it in my mind! Must be the standard song everywhere for beginning band students. lol. I'll see your beginning band concert and raise you a 4th grade recorder concert. I would tell you what they played, but I am not sure that screeching monkeys accompanied by dog whistles is an actual song. I got to do that one twice. Both kids had the same teacher too.
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tomboymama
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Jun 27, 2014 3:39:10 GMT
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Post by tomboymama on May 25, 2016 4:09:14 GMT
My daughter wanted to quit during the first year of high school. She played all through Middle school. There was a lot of drama going on between the band directors and she just really hated that. I wouldn't let her quit mid year because she had committed but said she could quit after freshman year. She was so much happier after that and had no regrets. I say let them quit if they want to.
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Post by craftsbycarolyn on May 25, 2016 13:24:10 GMT
Right now at this age band is probably not too much fun, but High School band is a different story. Lots of fun trips. I'd probably try to get them to stick with it until at least the 1st year of high school.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
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Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
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Post by kelly8875 on May 25, 2016 13:33:42 GMT
I let my DD quit. It's her activity, not mine. She was done with band. She played for 4 years, and was excellent.
Why make your kids play of they don't want to? They won't put the time or effort in if they don't enjoy it.
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Post by Patter on May 25, 2016 14:10:03 GMT
I've never understood this thought that because a child wants to try something once he has to do it forever or he's a quitter. My kids tried lots of things...I never forced them to continue with something they didn't enjoy. Exactly that! Let them experiment and find their passion. My girls happened to love band, and the 4 of us played in our church orchestra together for years BUT they were thankful they were homeschooled their high school years. They would have left band if they were in public school because of the tremendous competition. We do it because it's fun and we enjoy it. Not for the competition and craziness that goes on. That's not for us. Once homeschooled, they tried figure skating, horseback riding, and several other things. One found a passion for horseback riding and still does it (now a senior in college). One found a passion for guitar and plays on a church worship team and for university things. The other hasn't found her passion yet due to her health issues. ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/mYSUyHtG9Jrcmm_ydVcK.jpg) Anyway, have fun exploring is my point.
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