Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 10:12:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2016 12:01:39 GMT
DH is starting to talk about retiring within the next year or two and moving to a new state where it is warmer, less crowded and the taxes are less burdensome. We don't have children so that's not a factor, e.g. staying near them. But we both grew up here. I have many friends and some family left in this area. I'm definitely nervous about starting over where we don't know anyone.
If you have made a move - for retirement, work, or whatever - can you tell me what it was like for you? Did you ultimately like the new place or did you always miss "home." Thanks for any thoughts.
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Post by mimi3566 on May 25, 2016 12:23:29 GMT
My dh & I relocated to a new state almost 30 years ago...it was for work and we had 2 school aged children at the time so obviously they came with. Other than that we had no other family or friends here and still don't. Well...we've made new friends and have managed to carve out a very nice life for ourselves.
We have remained friends with some from our home town and they make trips to visit and visa versa.
I will admit that in the beginning it was hard...after about 3 months I started to get homesick and felt the inclination to "go home" but I was not working and had 2 kids in elementary school and since I didn't know anyone, was hesitant to look for after school daycare (the schools did not offer it then).
I realized that I needed to get involved with the community and meet some adults so I became a girl scout leader and a team mom for my daughter's cheerleading squad...shortly after that I found a part time job that I could work school hours and I never felt homesick again.
Good luck with whatever decision you make.
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 10:12:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2016 12:38:33 GMT
We're hoping to move from NC to AZ next year. We don't have any family here but we will have our school-age kids with us. When we move my DH will be retired from the Army. Our biggest challenge right now is selling our house. It's a terrible market here and we did updates and relisted it but are getting no showings so we're worried it won't happen. We're a bit nervous about moving across country, but we're more anxious about being stuck in a place that never felt like "home".
Good luck!
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brandy327
Drama Llama
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Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on May 25, 2016 12:53:21 GMT
As a family I haven't but I moved halfway across the country from everyone and everything I knew so I could be with my now dh. I can't say that I was ever homesick...I was a little a couple of years later when my dad was diagnosed with cancer and I was so far away. But I made friends and it helped that I LOVE the area where I live...I love being close to the ocean but also near mountains.
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 10:12:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2016 13:19:09 GMT
The military moved us around for 20 years. It was fine. If you are an outgoing person who can reach out for friends it will work ok. If you are a homebody, at retirement age it can be difficult to make new friends.
I moved from Hawaii to Oklahoma in 2007. It worked fine but I was moving from a place with a good circle of friends back closer to family so I have those family resources when I feel the need for support or friendship.
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Post by debmast on May 25, 2016 13:39:54 GMT
Hubby & I have moved as a couple, and with our two girls, several times. We've always considered it an adventure and have met some great folks along the way.
In the past 30 years of marriage we have:
Moved from Ohio (where we both grew up) to Kansas (hubby was military)
From Kansas back to Ohio (for hubby to attend school)
From Ohio to Minnesota (first job after he finished)
Minnesota to New Jersey (company consolidation)
New Jersey to North Carolina (transferred for work)
North Carolina back to NJ (again transferred)
NJ back to NC (changed of jobs and relocating)
NC to Georgia (transferred)
Georgia to Texas (again transferred)
Once we got to TX our girls were K and 5th grade. Hubby told them once older DD hit time to start high school, we were staying put. We've been here 10 years now. Ironically, older DD (who had lived in NJ, NC, GA and TX) decided college should be an adventure where she leaves "home" and explores a new location, so she is at school at University of Arkansas.
Once we retire (probably 10-15 years) we plan to relocate probably back to the Carolinas.
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Post by snappinsami on May 25, 2016 13:47:02 GMT
Over the last 26 years, when we graduated from college, DH and I have lived in north Florida, south Florida, northern California, New Jersey, and now southern California. All but north Florida (which was for graduate school) were for DH's job. The only place I didn't like was south Florida. The rest I all came to quickly love and consider home (although my parents' house will also always be "home"). I made friends in each location that I'm still friends with today (gotta love Facebook!), and I'd consider going back to any of them. We've been in southern California since DD was in 3rd grade, and moved down to San Diego right before she started high school. We've promised her that unless we absolutely can't help it, we won't move again until she graduates.
My parents have lived in the same basic location all their lives, and growing up I thought I'd be the same. It's been a surprise to see not only how much I've wound up moving around the country, but now much I've enjoyed it. It's just one big adventure!
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Post by Patter on May 25, 2016 14:05:11 GMT
In our 27 years of marriage, we have moved from: OH to SC (where the kids were born) SC to TX TX to NC Ohio and Texas never felt like home. We were in TX for 14 years, and my parents were 30 minutes from us but I could never get used to TX. We are Carolina peeps and wanted to be back here so badly. We were blessed in TX with a great place to live, Mom and Dad close, friends, church family, etc., but we never, ever got used to it. We have loved it here in NC ever since we arrived. I don't have the family or the friends I had in TX yet, and we have been here 4 years now but I still LOVE it. I am a homebody anyway so being in a place I love and a town that is so friendly and wonderful, I have just felt at home from the beginning. So for us, location has more to do with it I guess. Now we just pray our girls stay in the south east because I don't think I could be away from my girls! Their college is 3 hours away, and that's doable but NOT across the country please.
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 10:12:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2016 14:18:43 GMT
I would be reluctant to to move away from friends and family but if I were moving to a retirement community where it seems like it would be easy to make friends, I would consider it. I'm just guessing. I've never had to make this decision.
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breetheflea
Drama Llama
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Jul 20, 2014 21:57:23 GMT
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Post by breetheflea on May 25, 2016 14:29:56 GMT
It went fine, except it was annoying having to retake my drivers test (the written part) although I did better than DH. I still call it the DMV although here it's the DOL...after 13 years.
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 10:12:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2016 14:38:49 GMT
We moved to Small town Texas for family reasons two years ago. Previous to that move, we had lived in Nashville TN for 16 years.
We chose Nashville out of college and we made it home. Deep roots there.
It's been difficult. There are positives and negatives. Two years later I still have to think about how to get to places we go often. We have far more access and interactions with our families and that's mostly good. New church. New shopping routines in a much smaller place...new house.
I don't regret it (I'm positive it was the right thing for us to do) but I do have a hole in my heart for my beloved Nashville.
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Post by ilikepink on May 25, 2016 14:46:38 GMT
I moved from NJ to GA all by myself. I had lived in only two towns (right next to each other) and never, ever thought I'd leave. It has had its challenges - meeting people that I want to be friends with isn't easy. I joined some Meet Up groups and have found a few good friends. The state/city things are different - DMV is more civilized than NJ - and I love the climate. The pace is different in the south, and that was easier than I thought to adjust to.
While I miss my sons and the friends/family in NJ, I'm very happy here and glad I made the move.
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Post by anonrefugee on May 25, 2016 14:48:07 GMT
Yes, but we were younger and jobs or adventure were the reason.
Is it possible for you to test drive the new location? Maybe a six-month rental, so you know you e selected proper town?
My parents moved close to us to retire and have found they enjoy it more than their previous city. We hardly see them because they arrived determined to find interests, volunteer opportunities and social life.
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Post by bc2ca on May 25, 2016 15:03:19 GMT
Our move from BC to WA was really easy. DH had relatives in the Seattle area, the kids were infant/toddler so I was busy with them and it was an easy drive to see family/friends. Initially the move was going to be just for a year so I wasn't looking to put down roots but once we decided to stay long term I'd already connected through the kids with the families that became (and are still) great friends.
The move from WA to CA was a little harder and I had to work a bit more to make new friends. They have come through common hobbies and volunteering. I actually met someone at the gym the first week we were here that was the volunteer coordinator at our local art museum. It probably took us a year to feel like CA was home and DD took at least 2 years before she stopped wanting to move back "home". It also helps that we live in an area that family & friends are happy to come visit us regularly.
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Post by lisacharlotte on May 25, 2016 15:06:33 GMT
All my life, even before the military. Facebook helps to keep old friendships. Before FB it was much harder to keep in touch. I guess I've known no other way. I like traveling and exploring all there is in a new city. We've been here in NE 10 years and I love it. We have talked about moving for retirement to a tax free state, but I really like it here. I would suggest before you sell it all and move, you need a trial run to make sure you like the area. I'm thinking at least 6 months during the "bad time of year". I can live anywhere for 30 days during peak season. Where I have lived: All over LA County and Monterey CA, coastal NC, west TX and Dallas, Augusta GA, Nashville TN, upstate NY, Maryland, Nebraska, Laurel MD, England, Saudi Arabia
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Post by Lexica on May 25, 2016 15:13:58 GMT
I will be doing this within the next few years. I have been in Southern California my whole life, but I just need a change. I have been looking at coastal or southern Oregon. It will be just me and my critters making the move, so I will not know a soul there. I am typically an introvert, so I know I am going to have to put an effort into making my new location feel like home.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on May 25, 2016 15:46:13 GMT
I've spent my entire life moving - 5 states and 6 countries. It's never easy and some moves are better than others. What I've learned is that a positive attitude and a willingness to get out and involved in the new community will make a more successful move. I agree with lisacharlotte that modern technology and communications make it much easier to to keep in touch with old friends. It also makes it easier to know what you are going into at the new place. We are facing the "where do we retire to" question in the next 4-5 years and I am finding it much harder than the moves we've done in the past. Partly because when you are transferred you typically don't have much choice and learn to make the best of where ever you land. The hardest part for me though is the thought of being somewhere 'forever'. I get bored after 3-4 years and get the itch to move. I don't know how to do stationary! Good luck in your decision on moving. I'd say go for it!
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 25, 2016 15:49:20 GMT
We only moved an hour south and it's like a whole different world in some ways. (From Orange County to northern San Diego). I was homesick for awhile but both families are still up there and rarely does anyone come down to see us. We see them for most major holidays although even that is dwindling some now with jobs and kids getting older.
I would like to experience living on the east coast at some point but we'll see if that ever happens.
We have a family friend that is moving with her DH from Orange County to Arizona to retire. I was shocked when I heard it because all her kids (3) and grandkids (4) are here. She's active with all of them. I think it would be hard to move away from someplace you have been for years while everyone else is still in the area.
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Post by flgirlatheart on May 25, 2016 16:29:42 GMT
DH and I moved from NW Florida to the Atlanta area 11 years ago for his job. We did not know anyone and have no children. I didn't work at first and was free to make several trips home to visit for the first seven months or so. We absolutely love it here and it would take something major to make us consider leaving. Now my brother and his family have moved here too and it's even better!
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Shel
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Jul 16, 2014 0:32:12 GMT
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Post by Shel on May 25, 2016 16:52:29 GMT
We've lived in several states and I believe it is what you make of it. Every place has its pros and cons. We've lived by family sometimes and not other times. It's in places that we've had no family that we've made great lifelong friends. we love exploring new places and taking advantage of what each state (and the surrounding states) have to offer!
Good luck!
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Post by chlerbie on May 25, 2016 19:09:32 GMT
I moved from Ohio to Massachusetts just about 16 years ago. It's been hard being away from my siblings and their kids, but I absolutely love it here and this is home now. It took a bit of time getting used to everything, but I loved exploring and figuring it all out. I've made wonderful friends and now can't imagine living anywhere else but here.
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mochi
Full Member
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Jun 26, 2014 1:45:16 GMT
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Post by mochi on May 25, 2016 19:36:18 GMT
Michigan to Arizona 5 years ago! So glad we moved, never have any desire to even visit Michigan. Love love love Arizona, it was one of the best decisions we have ever made!
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Grom Pea
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 27, 2014 0:21:07 GMT
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Post by Grom Pea on May 25, 2016 22:21:57 GMT
Brilliantly, I moved from ma to CA. I've always been a California girl at heart. I moved in my 20s and didn't know a soul but met tons of people by pursuing my interests and finally settling down in a job at a place where I meet a good bulk of my friends. The friends I had back home are still friends and we try to see each other when I visit family. I think of California as home and when people ask where I'm from, that's what I say. It would take a real family tragedy for me to move back to ma. Dh, who I met after I moved is also a transplant and he'd never go back to mn either.
I'm of the opinion that you only have one life so you should give it a try, better to go and want to move back than to always wonder.
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Post by beachbum on May 25, 2016 23:14:29 GMT
DH and I moved to SW Florida after we retired. I grew up on the Gulf coast of FL, about 140 miles north of where we are now, but DH lived in the same town in TN his whole life other than going to college. We didn't know anyone here when we moved, had only been here a couple of times on vacation. We've been here a year and a half now. I had no trouble adjusting, it was like coming home for me. DH is getting there.... slowly. I think it's as much adjusting to being retired as it is being in a new place for him. We've met lots of new friends - we have a busier social life here than we did before - again retirement helps. I'm much more social than him, so I do more with 'the girls' than he does with 'the guys', but he's happy with his amount of social interaction. We do a lot of couple stuff, too. We do have 3 adult children, they are scattered - one in OR, one in TN, one just outside DC. They like the beach, they'll come here! I love our new life, wouldn't change it.
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 10:12:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2016 0:59:25 GMT
Thanks so much to all of you for sharing your stories...it seems like most of you had pretty positive experiences.
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
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Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
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Post by likescarrots on May 26, 2016 1:02:06 GMT
I think I must be a wanderer because we've moved a number of times, and I've never missed one place terribly, though some places were better than others. And I also have an itch to move right now, but not to any of the previous places I've lived.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
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Post by raindancer on May 26, 2016 2:51:44 GMT
I relocated to Arizona from Idaho, to Illinois from Arizona and back, and from Arizona to North Carolina. I never regretted any move more than going back to arizona.
I love our family and they are all there but we stuck it out for 6 more years and I am so glad to be gone. I just never liked AZ.
I am loving NC so far, after 5 months it already feels like home.
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Post by Patter on May 26, 2016 10:35:11 GMT
Thanks so much to all of you for sharing your stories...it seems like most of you had pretty positive experiences. And just another example, my aunt and uncle lived their entire lives in Michigan. Family all there, etc. They left in their retirement and moved to Colorado. They have been there for many years, and have loved every minute since they moved. No family there, and they love it.
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Post by Patter on May 26, 2016 10:36:02 GMT
I relocated to Arizona from Idaho, to Illinois from Arizona and back, and from Arizona to North Carolina. I never regretted any move more than going back to arizona. I love our family and they are all there but we stuck it out for 6 more years and I am so glad to be gone. I just never liked AZ. I am loving NC so far, after 5 months it already feels like home. Agh, so glad you are loving NC thus far!!! That's how I felt the moment we moved here. It will be 4 years at the end of June. I am thankful every morning for this wonderful place. Enjoy!!!
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scrapnnana
Drama Llama
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Jun 29, 2014 18:58:47 GMT
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Post by scrapnnana on May 26, 2016 11:58:25 GMT
Dh and I relocated to a new state 36 years ago, from Utah to Virginia. I had never lived away from family before. The first year in Virginia was hard, mostly because I was somewhat shy back in those days.
I still regret that our kids hardly ever saw their grandparents and cousins while growing up. DH's family lived in Georgia, mine in Utah and Colorado. However, being out here on our own helped me to grow and become more confident, I did eventually make new friends, and I did learn to really love it here. I now have deep roots here and consider it my home.
DH and I, however, are about to move from to Texas so that we can be closer to our children and grandchildren. It will be an adjustment, I am sure, but we will survive the change, because being nearer to our family will be worth it. Financially it will be a better place for us to retire, too, although DH is not retiring yet.
I don't know what state you live in, but to move completely away from family and friends should be a mutually agreed upon decision, and the reasons should be compelling. Yes, I can see advantages to moving from a cold climate to a warmer one (DH's dad and step-mom just decided to do that), as well as going to a less crowded area with lower taxes. However, to pull up roots and start completely over is challenging. It is possible to make new friends, but to move completely away from family, especially for your retirement years, may be hard. If the health of either you or your husband deteriorates, will you have anyone to help? The primary caregiver in such a situation really needs support, if you ever end up in such a situation.
It's not a decision that you should make without considering possible challenges that could come up, and probably will at some point.
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