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Post by ktdoesntscrap on May 29, 2016 22:26:10 GMT
Not really! First I am not a very modest person, it's just my daughter and I in the house so I don't care if she catches me coming out of the shower... or whatever. The downside is that my daughter is not really modest either. She is 13 doesn't really have much in the boob department, but she does wear a bra every day. She is 5'5 wears an adult medium t-shirt, but has not fully gone through puberty, or developed much. She wears sports bra's and bralettes. And never really cares if they peak out. This is where we differ. I don't mind if there is bra strap sticking out of a tank top.. but I do keep my bra covered. She likes to wear tops in the summer that have fairly large armholes. I just confiscated one from her because she wants to wear it without a tank underneath, and it just show way to much bra. She usually wears a sports bra and doesn't think there should be an issue. But I do. I hate to see her bra when she is dressed and we are out of the house. So I made her give me the shirt. We bought a really cute t-shirt yesterday, and when she put it on this morning I realized... side bra. (She has no side boob... so you just see bra.) She will wear a tank under neath it.. but that can be hot in the summer. So all of this to ask two questions. 1. Do you think it is acceptable to show side bra? Does it matter if it is a "sports" bra? 2. Are there any bra's out there that work with a large arm hole? 3. If you have/had a teen with no boobs what kind of bra did they wear. I am happy to be schooled on what the bra etiquette is in your house. This is the top... www.ae.com/women-aeo-open-back-tank-light-heather-grey/web/s-prod/5361_1136_092?cm=sUS-cUSD&catId=cat6270217She didn't try it on because the line was long.. I wasn't expecting the side boob showing when we bought it. |
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Post by padresfan619 on May 29, 2016 22:32:38 GMT
Bralettes, bandeau tops, and sports bras are fine by me. A dingy old 18 hour control top bra with under wire and pit stains? I don't want to see that.
The majority of my gym outfits are a loose muscle tank with a sports bra. I wouldn't wear that outfit to work, but to the gym or grocery shopping? I think it's fine.
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Post by boatymcboatface on May 29, 2016 22:33:12 GMT
With tank tops I wear bra's that if They happen to show for some reason don't look like lingerie, my favorite is the Milana bra by miracle bra it has a little built in cami thing and if it shows a tad I don't worry about it. But a regular bra that looks like a bra showing I don't like that.
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Post by myshelly on May 29, 2016 22:33:18 GMT
I think a bra and a tank style sports bra are two separate things.
I don't think bras (no apostrophe, BTW) should show at all, ever. Not the strap, not the side, I shouldn't even be able to see the lines of it through your shirt. Bra lines are just as bad as panty lines.
If a shirt has a large armhole you should wear a cami or tank underneath.
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Post by padresfan619 on May 29, 2016 22:33:31 GMT
Oh and I'm also the president of the Itty bitty tittie committee so I'm not swinging to and fro.
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Post by joblackford on May 29, 2016 22:42:32 GMT
If the boobs are well covered and the bra is not sexy or revealing I wouldn't be bothered by seeing it. A sports bra is often thicker and more modest than your average tshirt! (I notice that a lot of tshirts are tissue thin these days and so many tops require another layer underneath, which just seems stupid in the summer.) I can see why you might be upset by a young woman flashing a lot of side boob or a sexy lacy bra, or a dingy nasty bra that belongs in the trash, but to me a sports bra that's colorful and covers everything is not that much different than a top. I remember wearing a lot of big-armholed tops back in my youth in the 80s... I think we sometimes added a tube top over the bra... Would that help without being too sweaty?
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Post by boatymcboatface on May 29, 2016 22:51:43 GMT
I think a bra and a tank style sports bra are two separate things. I don't think bras (no apostrophe, BTW) should show at all, ever. Not the strap, not the side, I shouldn't even be able to see the lines of it through your shirt. Bra lines are just as bad as panty lines. If a shirt has a large armhole you should wear a cami or tank underneath. I choose shirts that my bra doesn't show at the neck but why the heck do I care if someone can see the outline of my bra under my shirt I don't care about panty lines either. I'm not upset if you can see that I wearing panties, why would I be upset if you can see that I am wearing a bra? |
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Post by SweetieBugs on May 29, 2016 22:54:23 GMT
Undergarments have to be fully covered (this includes underwear and bras) at the schools in our district. It's a dress code. Pretty much every spring, the school has to send out reminders of the dress code because the tops get smaller and the skirts get shorter.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on May 29, 2016 23:03:09 GMT
I personally don't like to see any kind of bra sticking out of a shirt.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on May 29, 2016 23:03:58 GMT
I am answering this question from an adult perspective only, since I don't have kids.
I just bought several tanks for summer. They cover the straps and, unlike some I had from Old Navy, they aren't terribly low cut. But there is still a small side issue, and that's AFTER I tried on (and bought!) two sizes down from what I normally would buy. But you can really only see it if I raise my arms to expose the underside of the arm hole. And since I don't do that a lot, I am fine with a little bit of the bra on the side. No one's really looking anyhow. I'm a lot more self-conscious if the straps are showing or if the shirt itself is a bit transparent, but for the side on a tank or tee? Nope. Can't worry about it. (If I have resorted to a tank top, it's freakin' HOT and anyone who IS looking is going to make fun of my sweaty red face instead of my clothes.)
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Post by Miss Ang on May 29, 2016 23:05:28 GMT
Cami or tank underneath. I do not want to see anyone's bra (side boob or not). I have a 21 yr. old daughter, average size, and she would not go out with her bra (of any kind) showing.
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Post by myshelly on May 29, 2016 23:31:02 GMT
I think a bra and a tank style sports bra are two separate things. I don't think bras (no apostrophe, BTW) should show at all, ever. Not the strap, not the side, I shouldn't even be able to see the lines of it through your shirt. Bra lines are just as bad as panty lines. If a shirt has a large armhole you should wear a cami or tank underneath. I choose shirts that my bra doesn't show at the neck but why the heck do I care if someone can see the outline of my bra under my shirt I don't care about panty lines either. I'm not upset if you can see that I wearing panties, why would I be upset if you can see that I am wearing a bra? It just doesn't look good. Ruins the line and the fall of the clothes. Looks like you don't care about your appearance/are careless. |
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,415
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on May 29, 2016 23:39:56 GMT
I don't think it's a big deal if bras show. Heck a lot of women wear sport bras without shirts all the time while working out. She is more modestly covered than if she was wearing a bikini. I wouldn't make it a hill to die on. I see a lot of women wearing shirts like that, me included. Yesterday I work a sport bra and a tee with the sleeves cut off to work in the yard. I even ran to Home Depot and Kroger in the outfit. Not a big deal, my sport bra covers far more than a regular bra does and who cares if someone can see the side of it?
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Post by chaosisapony on May 29, 2016 23:42:22 GMT
I think a bra and a tank style sports bra are two separate things. I don't think bras (no apostrophe, BTW) should show at all, ever. Not the strap, not the side, I shouldn't even be able to see the lines of it through your shirt. Bra lines are just as bad as panty lines. If a shirt has a large armhole you should wear a cami or tank underneath. I feel the exact same way. I hate seeing exposed bra straps or sides, or any hint of bra. Just like I don't want to see your thong poking above your jeans. Keep your all of your underwear UNDER your clothes, please. I do realize I'm part of a fading minority in thinking this way though. Most girls my niece's age don't seem to think an outfit is complete unless a colorful bra strap is artfully exposed. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2016 23:50:01 GMT
Not really! First I am not a very modest person, it's just my daughter and I in the house so I don't care if she catches me coming out of the shower... or whatever. The downside is that my daughter is not really modest either. She is 13 doesn't really have much in the boob department, but she does wear a bra every day. She is 5'5 wears an adult medium t-shirt, but has not fully gone through puberty, or developed much. She wears sports bra's and bralettes. And never really cares if they peak out. This is where we differ. I don't mind if there is bra strap sticking out of a tank top.. but I do keep my bra covered. She likes to wear tops in the summer that have fairly large armholes. I just confiscated one from her because she wants to wear it without a tank underneath, and it just show way to much bra. She usually wears a sports bra and doesn't think there should be an issue. But I do. I hate to see her bra when she is dressed and we are out of the house. So I made her give me the shirt. We bought a really cute t-shirt yesterday, and when she put it on this morning I realized... side bra. (She has no side boob... so you just see bra.) She will wear a tank under neath it.. but that can be hot in the summer. So all of this to ask two questions. 1. Do you think it is acceptable to show side bra? Does it matter if it is a "sports" bra? 2. Are there any bra's out there that work with a large arm hole? 3. If you have/had a teen with no boobs what kind of bra did they wear. I am happy to be schooled on what the bra etiquette is in your house. This is the top... www.ae.com/women-aeo-open-back-tank-light-heather-grey/web/s-prod/5361_1136_092?cm=sUS-cUSD&catId=cat6270217She didn't try it on because the line was long.. I wasn't expecting the side boob showing when we bought it. I don't think I've seen any sleeveless shirt that completely 100% of the time hides all that can be seen through the arm hole. IF NO side bra can be visible you'll need a "no sleeveless" policy. |
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Post by scrapsuzy on May 29, 2016 23:54:42 GMT
My personal preference is that no part of the bra shows from under the clothes. But it was a battle that I chose not to continue fighting with my almost 23yr old dd. Since she wears a lot of tank tops, her bra straps (which are usually cute/colored) usually show. I don't like it. My mom doesn't like it. Her boyfriend's mom doesn't like it. She is at least aware that it is not a look for work or job interviews, so I'll take that.
As for what you're describing, I would be okay with a sports bra showing on the sides, but not a regular bra.
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Post by mom on May 30, 2016 0:35:12 GMT
Personally, I dont like anything showing but I also know it wouldn't be a battle I would choose to have either. Now, if it were a thong sticking out from her jeans? I would go nuts over that! LOL
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AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by AllieC on May 30, 2016 0:42:44 GMT
I don't really like it but it doesn't get me all het up like some. My dd is nearly 19 and has always been modest so I never really had to ask her to cover up. She wears a bandeau under tanks that show the side view or sometimes one of those stretchy sports crops.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on May 30, 2016 1:00:39 GMT
Thanks for all your points of view. I guess my reaction was partially to the state of the bra that was showing.  I think we need to invest in some new bras, sports and otherwise. |
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on May 30, 2016 1:02:09 GMT
Not really! First I am not a very modest person, it's just my daughter and I in the house so I don't care if she catches me coming out of the shower... or whatever. The downside is that my daughter is not really modest either. She is 13 doesn't really have much in the boob department, but she does wear a bra every day. She is 5'5 wears an adult medium t-shirt, but has not fully gone through puberty, or developed much. She wears sports bra's and bralettes. And never really cares if they peak out. This is where we differ. I don't mind if there is bra strap sticking out of a tank top.. but I do keep my bra covered. She likes to wear tops in the summer that have fairly large armholes. I just confiscated one from her because she wants to wear it without a tank underneath, and it just show way to much bra. She usually wears a sports bra and doesn't think there should be an issue. But I do. I hate to see her bra when she is dressed and we are out of the house. So I made her give me the shirt. We bought a really cute t-shirt yesterday, and when she put it on this morning I realized... side bra. (She has no side boob... so you just see bra.) She will wear a tank under neath it.. but that can be hot in the summer. So all of this to ask two questions. 1. Do you think it is acceptable to show side bra? Does it matter if it is a "sports" bra? 2. Are there any bra's out there that work with a large arm hole? 3. If you have/had a teen with no boobs what kind of bra did they wear. I am happy to be schooled on what the bra etiquette is in your house. This is the top... www.ae.com/women-aeo-open-back-tank-light-heather-grey/web/s-prod/5361_1136_092?cm=sUS-cUSD&catId=cat6270217She didn't try it on because the line was long.. I wasn't expecting the side boob showing when we bought it. I don't think I've seen any sleeveless shirt that completely 100% of the time hides all that can be seen through the arm hole. IF NO side bra can be visible you'll need a "no sleeveless" policy. I have sleeveless shirts that you can't see side bra. But point taken. Her shirt show more than a glimpse... but I think a sports bra will solve the problem. |
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Post by mlynn on May 30, 2016 2:19:18 GMT
Bra showing? Nope, nope, nope.
A sports bra is as much a top as a bra and is often worn by itself. No problem with that.
When it is hot out, I would have her wear a light-weight COTTON camisole if she is wearing a regular bra. Fabric content makes a huge different. That would be 100% cotton. If I was unable to find a very light-weight 100% cotton camisole at the store, I would buy some fabric and make one. It will be much cooler than a tank top because of the light-weight fabric and fabric content. You want it to fit loosely.
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Post by boatymcboatface on May 30, 2016 2:27:45 GMT
I choose shirts that my bra doesn't show at the neck but why the heck do I care if someone can see the outline of my bra under my shirt I don't care about panty lines either. I'm not upset if you can see that I wearing panties, why would I be upset if you can see that I am wearing a bra? It just doesn't look good. Ruins the line and the fall of the clothes. Looks like you don't care about your appearance/are careless. I can see that if you're talking about shirts that are too sheer for the bra or bra patterns that show through clothes that are too small whatever. I wear a lot of knits they are comfortable to me and some bras you can see the shape of the strap on the shoulder or something, this just seems like small potatoes to me. I paid attention while we were at the mall tonight and lots of women had the same thing going on bras that you could see were there even if you couldn't see the strap outside the shirt. to me this seems like such a non issue I guess some people care about that stuff more than me. It is just a bra they are just clothes. You seem to make a lot of value judgements about other people based on insignificant things. |
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Post by myshelly on May 30, 2016 2:39:27 GMT
It just doesn't look good. Ruins the line and the fall of the clothes. Looks like you don't care about your appearance/are careless. I can see that if you're talking about shirts that are too sheer for the bra or bra patterns that show through clothes that are too small whatever. I wear a lot of knits they are comfortable to me and some bras you can see the shape of the strap on the shoulder or something, this just seems like small potatoes to me. I paid attention while we were at the mall tonight and lots of women had the same thing going on bras that you could see were there even if you couldn't see the strap outside the shirt. to me this seems like such a non issue I guess some people care about that stuff more than me. It is just a bra they are just clothes. You seem to make a lot of value judgements about other people based on insignificant things. I just have very high standards when it comes to fashion. I think most people are very lazy about their appearance. If you can see the bra line or panty line you are not wearing the correct undergarment for the outfit or the outfit doesn't fit. You should fix it. If you don't care enough to fix it, that does give me information about you that I do judge. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2016 2:41:51 GMT
I actually think pretty bras peeking out from the sides, back, or cleavage of a shirt look cute and sexy. But I don't think it's appropriate for a 13-year-old.
ETA: I think a sports bra showing on the side is fine for that age because it's not revealing.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 19:52:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2016 2:43:44 GMT
My daughter seems to have picked a bunch of bras that have fancy sides, straps and backs. They are meant to be worn with those lacy/ sheer back tops or almost off the should tops.
Huge fights occurred over those shirts and bras.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on May 30, 2016 2:46:30 GMT
Cami or tank underneath. I do not want to see anyone's bra (side boob or not). I have a 21 yr. old daughter, average size, and she would not go out with her bra (of any kind) showing. I have a question, no snark intended. I totally get that if I'm seeing leopard print, or mermaid green, I'm probably seeing someone's bra. But if all you can see is a little bit of fabric under the arm, how can you tell the difference, from the side under a t-shirt or tank top, between a white cotton bra and a white cotton camisole? |
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on May 30, 2016 2:58:06 GMT
I can see that if you're talking about shirts that are too sheer for the bra or bra patterns that show through clothes that are too small whatever. I wear a lot of knits they are comfortable to me and some bras you can see the shape of the strap on the shoulder or something, this just seems like small potatoes to me. I paid attention while we were at the mall tonight and lots of women had the same thing going on bras that you could see were there even if you couldn't see the strap outside the shirt. to me this seems like such a non issue I guess some people care about that stuff more than me. It is just a bra they are just clothes. You seem to make a lot of value judgements about other people based on insignificant things. I just have very high standards when it comes to fashion. I think most people are very lazy about their appearance. If you can see the bra line or panty line you are not wearing the correct undergarment for the outfit or the outfit doesn't fit. You should fix it. If you don't care enough to fix it, that does give me information about you that I do judge. I have to agree with Boatymcboatface I don't have the time or inclination to pay that much attention to what people other than my immediate family are wearing, and I can't imagine making snap judgements about some wearing the correct undergarment. Life is way to short ! |
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 30, 2016 2:59:48 GMT
It just doesn't look good. Ruins the line and the fall of the clothes. Looks like you don't care about your appearance/are careless. I can see that if you're talking about shirts that are too sheer for the bra or bra patterns that show through clothes that are too small whatever. I wear a lot of knits they are comfortable to me and some bras you can see the shape of the strap on the shoulder or something, this just seems like small potatoes to me. I paid attention while we were at the mall tonight and lots of women had the same thing going on bras that you could see were there even if you couldn't see the strap outside the shirt. to me this seems like such a non issue I guess some people care about that stuff more than me. It is just a bra they are just clothes. You seem to make a lot of value judgements about other people based on insignificant things. I'll sit with you on this bench, Boaty. I don't ever wear anything sheer. Ever. I do wear t-shirts just about every day. I dislike the fit of most women's t-shirt styles because they are typically cut too tight and/or are made of thin flimsy fabric that's too clingy. At my age and station in life I have no desire to be calling attention to my assets, LOL. If I'm wearing a non-sheer t-shirt and you can possibly see the outline shape of my bra in places (not my actual bra, which is fully covered by the shirt), I really don't care. Trust me when I say people should be glad I have a bra ON, LOL, because if I didn't they would be talking about me for other reasons! The same is true for underwear. I don't care who knows that I have underwear on. To me that's better than having someone wondering if I did! |
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
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Post by perumbula on May 30, 2016 3:03:53 GMT
I think the issue you are having is that she's wearing sports bras. Sports bras are cut higher on the side so they will show where another type of bra would not. You might see if she will wear a simple cotton t-shirt bra that's cut lower on the side. It might work better with her sleeveless tops.
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Post by boatymcboatface on May 30, 2016 3:17:01 GMT
I can see that if you're talking about shirts that are too sheer for the bra or bra patterns that show through clothes that are too small whatever. I wear a lot of knits they are comfortable to me and some bras you can see the shape of the strap on the shoulder or something, this just seems like small potatoes to me. I paid attention while we were at the mall tonight and lots of women had the same thing going on bras that you could see were there even if you couldn't see the strap outside the shirt. to me this seems like such a non issue I guess some people care about that stuff more than me. It is just a bra they are just clothes. You seem to make a lot of value judgements about other people based on insignificant things. I just have very high standards when it comes to fashion. I think most people are very lazy about their appearance. If you can see the bra line or panty line you are not wearing the correct undergarment for the outfit or the outfit doesn't fit. You should fix it. If you don't care enough to fix it, that does give me information about you that I do judge. Ah. Well, I don't have super high standards for this stuff so that's fine. Most people have something about them others would judge or things that are important to them and not to someone else so lazy about my appearance that's fine, you can make that judgment all you like because it isn't important to me. i dress nice for work and functional for outside of work and I'm comfortable with how I look. The bible says charm is deceptive and outside beauty fades but beauty in your heart is most important so I rather focus my effort on beauty in my heart. |
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