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Post by gale w on May 30, 2016 17:57:00 GMT
I'm so sorry.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:45:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2016 17:57:09 GMT
I am so very sorry for all involved. Hoping you all can find some sort of strength through this terrible time.
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Post by ilikepink on May 30, 2016 17:57:33 GMT
I'm sorry that you are all going through this. There really are no words. I second calling the suicide hotline; they are there for family/friends as well. They will will listen, without judgment, and while they aren't counselors in the legal definition, they are well-trained and can help. By all means, continue your plans for therapy/help for your daughter going forward. There may be a lot of guilt that she will have to work through. Odds are good that the school may provide grief counselors for the next few days for the students.
Keep talking to your daughter, without judgment, and let her say whatever she needs to; or just be there while she cries. Just please, don't let her shut down.
Hugs to you all. Suicide affects so many people; my sympathies and prayers for all who knew this young man.
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Post by Zee on May 30, 2016 17:58:07 GMT
DS at 16 had an ex that was always threatening to take an overdose. He always felt like he had to rush to her aid. It was a very tough lesson for him to learn that her actions were not his responsibility and what she did had everything to do with who she was, not him. She was hospitalized more than once. Honestly, it was a huge relief to me and eventually to him when she broke up with him and moved on to the next boy.
I hope your DD comes to this realization early and doesn't try to fault herself or play "what if", because there is no "what if". Nothing she did or didn't do caused it, I hope she sees that clearly. I'm so sorry for his family and your loss.
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on May 30, 2016 17:58:13 GMT
I'm so sorry. Prayers for all of you.
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,300
Jun 25, 2014 19:53:37 GMT
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Post by Mystie on May 30, 2016 18:01:44 GMT
I am just so, so sorry. Take care of yourself, take care of your sweet DD. She is so young! My heart hurts for her. I will pray for your family and his, too.
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,768
Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
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Post by valincal on May 30, 2016 18:02:56 GMT
How awful. My condolences.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:45:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2016 18:05:34 GMT
I'm so sorry. It sounds like you're doing everything right-and everything you can for your DD. This is something she'll deal with for the rest of her life, but I'm glad you're there to be such a support to her. Don't forget to get support for yourself, too. I'm just so sorry and my heart aches for everyone affected by this. Sending you ((hugs)).
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Post by BlueDiamond on May 30, 2016 18:06:03 GMT
Thank you everyone.
I'm going to log off for a while. Most likely I will call one the hotlines to talk and to find out what else I can do for DD. Please know that your kind words mean so much to me, and that I will be checking on this thread later to respond.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 30, 2016 18:06:36 GMT
Wow, how sad. I am sorry for your family's loss and his family's as well. May he rest in peace free of his demons. So young!
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gottapeanow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,817
Jun 25, 2014 20:56:09 GMT
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Post by gottapeanow on May 30, 2016 18:08:59 GMT
I am so very sorry. Hugs and prayers to you and your dd.
Lisa
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Post by leannec on May 30, 2016 18:11:41 GMT
I'm so very sorry
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Post by christine58 on May 30, 2016 18:13:53 GMT
christine58 - I know, but it's so hard not to! And I don't know if I should let the family be the one to inform the school? They may not even think about it honestly. With your recent update, please tell the school now...
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on May 30, 2016 18:23:33 GMT
(((hugs)))
I am so, so sorry for your dd's loss, and yours as well.
Death of a friend is hard on us with many years of life experience. A 15 yr old will definitely struggle with it.
I truly hope your dd knows that she has absolutely zero responsibility in his outcome. Whether she was his exgf, whether she was texting with him, whether he wanted her back, etc.... she could not have had an impact on what happened. In no way is this her burden to carry. That young man was troubled, but I hope she does not feel like if she had just done x, or y, or z, that she could have fixed him.
(((hugs))) again.
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Post by Baseballmom23 on May 30, 2016 18:25:28 GMT
My condolences. Please reach out to the boys family They will need support as well.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:45:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2016 18:26:32 GMT
Reach out to his family. Do it now and be sure to reach out again, again, and again. As humans we tend to only reach out once when a tragedy happens.
Hugs
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Post by malibou on May 30, 2016 18:32:00 GMT
So truly sorry.
J
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Post by liya on May 30, 2016 18:34:23 GMT
Wow. I am so very sorry. How devastating for all involved.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on May 30, 2016 18:51:18 GMT
Thank you jenjie . Yes, @busypea , this is something that I do not want to happen! I'm going to see mine soon, too. His mother had called me last week stating her concerns, and asked me to call him and talk to him. I was never able to get a hold of him. I am feeling so horrible about this! My DD said he probably wouldn't have listened to me, but what if? You have to try hard to not play the "what if" scenario. One thing I have learned over the years is that we have no control over other's actions. Please let your DD's school know this happened especially if they attended the same one. They can put a crisis team in place. Crisis team is crucial, especially if school is in session. They need to have the team in place before class begins. I'm sure the school already knows.
putting this under spoiler because it may be sensitive
It's not uncommon for teen suicides to trigger others. I hesitated to even bring it up because it's such a sensitive and painful subject, but on the other hand preparedness may save a life. You are absolutely doing the right thing by seeking counseling for both your daughter and yourself. Your DH is correct that you will all carry this in your hearts forever.
Please don't hesitate to come here when you need a shoulder. I would be happy to visit with you privately by PM if you need someone, and I know there are others here who would be, as well.
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Sue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,240
Location: SE of Portland, Oregon
Jun 26, 2014 18:42:33 GMT
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Post by Sue on May 30, 2016 18:51:39 GMT
Beyond tragic. I'm so sorry for all of loved him.
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Post by iteach3rdgrade on May 30, 2016 18:56:56 GMT
I'm very sorry!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:45:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2016 19:08:13 GMT
I'm so terribly sorry.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 30, 2016 19:18:50 GMT
I am so sorry for what his family, your daughter, and you are going through. Suicide is so very hard on those left behind. I applaud you for realizing that it will be critical for your daughter to talk to someone. And I think you should talk with a professional... at least once or twice. It's a lot to deal with.
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Post by sugarmama on May 30, 2016 19:40:12 GMT
This is heartbreaking news! Almost exact same thing happened to one of my son's friends (they were older--already in college).
Many prayers coming your way...
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Post by mollycoddle on May 30, 2016 19:43:24 GMT
My deepest sympathies to all concerned. What a tragic loss.
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Post by welshjenni on May 30, 2016 19:45:40 GMT
So very sorry, I hope that the hotlines are able to give you the help that you and your DD will need.
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Post by KelleeM on May 30, 2016 20:00:43 GMT
I'm so sorry. How terribly sad.
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Post by jenjie on May 30, 2016 20:03:24 GMT
(((hugs))) I am so, so sorry for your dd's loss, and yours as well. Death of a friend is hard on us with many years of life experience. A 15 yr old will definitely struggle with it. I truly hope your dd knows that she has absolutely zero responsibility in his outcome. Whether she was his exgf, whether she was texting with him, whether he wanted her back, etc.... she could not have had an impact on what happened. In no way is this her burden to carry. That young man was troubled, but I hope she does not feel like if she had just done x, or y, or z, that she could have fixed him. (((hugs))) again. This. A thousand times. Speak this truth to dd's heart and to yours too. Responsibility for his death is not her burden to carry and it's not yours either. If you are in a place to speak into his family's lives they will need this reminder too. I am so so sorry.
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Post by Linda on May 30, 2016 20:42:34 GMT
(((Hugs))) and Prayers - I'm so very sorry
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Post by anniefb on May 30, 2016 20:44:19 GMT
So so sorry. This is so heartbreaking. Sending hugs and prayers.
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