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Post by BlueDiamond on May 30, 2016 20:47:00 GMT
Thank you, again, everyone. I have contacted my therapist to come see her. I will be calling the wife of the school's vice principal in a minute to inform her of what has happened.
DD's friends, and their moms, have been gracious in offering help and plans to support DD. I just hope we can all come out of this stronger, and that my DD's joyful personality will not be taken by this. That didn't come out right, but I think you get the picture.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,255
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on May 30, 2016 20:54:35 GMT
How terribly sad.
Good for you for understanding how serious this is and the need to have support and help to deal with it. Suicide is hard enough for a mature adult to cope with, and maybe much harder for a young person with so much less life experience. A good friend of mine dealt with a similar situation last fall - not her daughter's ex boyfriend, but her daughter's best friend who committed suicide. It was stressful for everyone and they spent a lot of time supporting their daughter and the friend's family through it. It was a very difficult time, and I'm sure it has had a lasting impact on all of them.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:32:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2016 21:04:48 GMT
What an awful thing to experience, no matter your age.
Hugs...
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Post by knit.pea on May 30, 2016 21:08:05 GMT
I am so sorry A friend/co-worker of mine took his own life over 25 years ago, and those first few months were shock, sadness, questions that will never be answered, and for me ... a lot of anger. He left 3 small children. To me, even in my early 20s, that was unfathomable. My friend obviously had far deeper issues no one knew of. I don't remember being offered any counseling. That would have been helpful. People are just expected to carry on. And we do. But it still makes me angry. Please have her talk about it. It was his action, though, and as much as she will review everything she said to him recently it was his action.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on May 30, 2016 21:10:18 GMT
I'm so sorry. That is a tough thing for you guys to deal with.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,831
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on May 30, 2016 21:45:53 GMT
I am so very sorry.
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Post by mirabelleswalker on May 30, 2016 21:51:31 GMT
That's just horrible. I'm so sorry.
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Post by leftturnonly on May 30, 2016 22:06:30 GMT
My heart goes out to you and your daughter.
Your concern for your own daughter at this point must be on full blast.
I know you can rationalize that the stress you and she are feeling are different from this young man's family, but please, please, please, hear me when I tell you that this is traumatic for you both as well.
It's not a competition. Your grief will not be the same as his family's but it is no less real and devastating.
It may be very helpful for you to find someone not associated with that family at all to talk to so that you can freely vent your own feelings.
{{{{HUGS}}}} <<<<< ginormous hugs
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Post by scrappintoee on May 30, 2016 22:12:08 GMT
So very sorry !!!!! ((( hugs ))))
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,583
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
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Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on May 30, 2016 22:47:44 GMT
How awful for everyone. That's every mother's nightmare. I will be praying for his family and yours.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on May 30, 2016 23:24:10 GMT
How very sad. I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs and healing vibes heading your way.
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Post by originalvanillabean on May 30, 2016 23:40:13 GMT
I am so very sorry.
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Post by gritzi on May 30, 2016 23:44:24 GMT
I'm so sorry
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Post by Menjiness on May 31, 2016 0:34:18 GMT
I am so sorry, this is heartbreaking.
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Post by KikiPea on May 31, 2016 0:36:15 GMT
That is SO awful! Praying for his family, and your daughter. Hugs to all!
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Post by mikklynn on May 31, 2016 1:03:14 GMT
Thank you jenjie . Yes, @busypea , this is something that I do not want to happen! I'm going to see mine soon, too. His mother had called me last week stating her concerns, and asked me to call him and talk to him. I was never able to get a hold of him. I am feeling so horrible about this! My DD said he probably wouldn't have listened to me, but what if? You have to try hard to not play the "what if" scenario. One thing I have learned over the years is that we have no control over other's actions. Please let your DD's school know this happened especially if they attended the same one. They can put a crisis team in place. This is so true. Please don't "what if". I'm so sorry BlueDiamond. This is so tragic.
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Post by Blind Squirrel on May 31, 2016 1:08:28 GMT
I'm so sorry.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:32:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2016 1:10:36 GMT
Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry this has happened.
I don't have any advice to give you but wanted to at least comment and let you know I will pray for your family and theirs.
Such a tragedy.
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Post by JoP on May 31, 2016 1:18:18 GMT
I'm so very sorry
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:32:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2016 1:51:44 GMT
BlueDiamond, I just went through this 2 months ago with my DD13. Her 15 year old friend hung herself. The school was very good about providing her and her friends with someone to talk to whenever they felt the need. We also had the suicide discussion. It was hard but necessary. You both are in my thoughts.
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Post by alexa11 on May 31, 2016 1:54:21 GMT
That is so tragic and sad. I'm so sorry.
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Post by lovinlife on May 31, 2016 1:57:06 GMT
I'm so very sorry
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marimoose
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,282
Jul 22, 2014 2:10:14 GMT
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Post by marimoose on May 31, 2016 2:21:20 GMT
So very sorry
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Post by BlueDiamond on May 31, 2016 3:17:09 GMT
Thank you, everyone, for your kind words. I'm just going to give a quick update, then try to go to bed. I will come back to this thread tomorrow and answer any questions that I haven't yet.
I was able to contact the Vice Principal's wife and let her know what happened. She had heard a rumor, and I believe the Principal had heard from someone else, so the plans were put in motion for school tomorrow. There was a prayer vigil at the high school tonight, arranged by the school. Daughter said the whole school was there! She said they formed a huge circle, and DD and his friends were in the middle. Everyone cried, DD and friends spoke, then launched candle lanterns like in Tangled. They wrote messages to him in chalk, and planned a memory jar to give to his mother. One of DD's teachers was there, as well as a counselor, and they both took her aside to talk to her and offer support and hugs. I believe this helped the healing process, and began to help them cope. So many moms and friends called/texted me to check on DD and to offer help. A friend even dropped off a pint of ice cream for DD!
She is handling this like a champ. She cried a lot at the vigil, and at the hospital today, of course. But she is handling this better than any adult I've ever seen! But I still will be calling the counselor in the morning and getting a referral for someone. At some point, it's going to hit her like a ton of bricks, and I want her to have someone to talk to.
My head hurts so much, and my eyes hurt from crying. But mostly my heart hurts. For my DD, her classmates, and especially for his family. In a couple of days, we're going to reach out, and DD is going to offer to help go through his room. I'm going to offer myself to do small errands, pick up food, drop people off, make phone calls, whatever they need someone to do but just can't. No parent should ever have to bury their child.
Anyway, thanks again. TTYL
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Post by peasapie on May 31, 2016 3:26:40 GMT
I'm so sorry. This has to be so very hard for all of you.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,233
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on May 31, 2016 3:37:37 GMT
I am so sorry. ((HUGS))
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maurchclt
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,646
Jul 4, 2014 16:53:27 GMT
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Post by maurchclt on May 31, 2016 13:01:37 GMT
Oh how awful, I'm so very sorry.
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Post by Meri-Lyn on May 31, 2016 13:03:26 GMT
I'm so sorry to hear. No advice to add, but wanted to add my (((hugs))) to you and dd.
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Post by BoilerUp! on May 31, 2016 15:24:48 GMT
Suicide is tragic for all those left behind. I just wanted to say that I am sorry for the loss.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
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Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on May 31, 2016 17:07:33 GMT
So very sorry to read this. I can't imagine what everyone is going through. Hugs sent to you and your daughter. Prayers to the family.
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