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Post by littlemama on Jun 14, 2016 20:18:02 GMT
HOLY *(^%!
We're going to need a follow up post for this! The party outcome and any details!
Mary K The follow up I can give for now is that the post has been taken down and the mom posted something about how Of course she wants everyone to come, then rambles on about not condoning drinking and driving even though her daughter has posted in this same event about drinking. From what someone told me, this girl was kicked out of Catholic school - a school where her mother worked at the time. DS isn't going to this one, but I will see if I can get information about what goes down over there. Like I said, it's an hour away, so I doubt many kids are going to go once they and/or their parents realize where it is.
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Post by hollymolly on Jun 14, 2016 20:18:58 GMT
I feel sorry for this girl. No one is going to come, and she won't have any idea why. On top of that, she is going to go through life putting people off by asking for gifts. Gifts should never ever ever be expected and certainly not asked for. That's why they're called gifts, and not a cover charge. Same goes for weddings, by the way. If someone decides to throw a wedding that costs $X per person, that was not my decision, so I don't have to pay for it by purchasing a proportionally priced gift.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 4:52:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 20:36:20 GMT
That isn't all that's "not right".
Entitled little hag...
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Post by not2peased on Jun 14, 2016 20:39:04 GMT
wow, I have never heard of a fellow grad bringing a present to a classmate's grad party!
and to outright demand one? super tacky
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
Jun 26, 2014 20:10:29 GMT
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Post by raindancer on Jun 14, 2016 20:45:24 GMT
Wait. I've seen on Plenty of threads that if you are invited to a wedding your gift should at a minimum be worth enough to cover the costs of the food and venue for everyone in your party. It's pretty easy to see how this could be expected to trickle down to lesser events. I think both expectations are tacky. In my head, I see that a wedding gift was to send the couple onto a new life together. Traditionally speaking, joining two people to make one home. Kids graduating from high school don't technically start a new life where they would need support. We have had several graduations in the past 3 years and gifts were really only given from the family. His science teacher gave him Herpes. It was a little bright yellow smiling stuffed animal that was a cell of the herpes virus. She said it reminded her of him. Right. You should gift at a wedding. I agree. I don't agree that if you decide to have it at a crazy expensive venue that I "owe" you (general you) a gift that has at a minimum a monetary value of how much it costs for you to feed me. But that's pretty much expected and the norm according to the peas. I think a gift for graduation is appropriate when it's not all the kids graduating together. I didn't buy my friends gifts, but my parents did buy for my closest friends. (well they gave cash). I'm trying to figure out at what point it became some sort of obligation to gift people something simply because they invited you someplace.
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Post by gritzi on Jun 14, 2016 20:47:23 GMT
Well, that comment would help ease an hour from my busy schedule? "Can I make it an hour each way? Nope!"
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Post by LilyRose on Jun 14, 2016 20:52:01 GMT
So, is this young lady going to be GIVING a comparable gift at all the parties she attends?
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Post by misadventurous on Jun 14, 2016 20:52:18 GMT
I don't think I've ever really been able to compete in the tacky invite contests here, but I might have one now. First a little background - in our area, when kids go to each other's grad parties, they do not take a gift, unless it is a really close friend. DS' graduating class was about 370 kids, and he is invited to at least 50 parties, so you can kind of see the rationale - that and the kids don't have that kind of money! So, anyway, one grad party he was invited to - first of all, is at a location an hour away. Most kids aren't going to go because there are many, many parties each day and if your venue is an hour away, people aren't going to commit that kind of time.
Now to the tacky part: Today, she posted this on her facebook event page: "Guys if you are coming please make sure you bring me a little congrats gift/money in a card. I don't want you guys to show up and think you are just gonna party cause that's not right, and I will never hear the end of it from my mom."
Discuss. Don't sell yourself short. I'd say this is a very solid contender!
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Jun 14, 2016 20:58:46 GMT
Wow.just.wow.
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Post by JoP on Jun 14, 2016 21:00:39 GMT
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Post by refugeepea on Jun 14, 2016 21:01:22 GMT
I'm so glad grad parties are not the norm here.
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Post by KikiPea on Jun 14, 2016 21:01:30 GMT
Ummm, I would be skipping that part all together.
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Post by bigbundt on Jun 14, 2016 21:03:12 GMT
I'm so glad grad parties are not the norm here. Usually they are fun. You can just hop from one to the other. Good time to catch up with people you haven't seen for a while. I'm sure they are just kind of blown away finding out that some areas have graduation parties every weekend from June until August, multiple parties a weekend, people party hopping. I'm used to graduation celebrations being family only and more commonly just a nice dinner out with their immediate family after the ceremony. If someone did have a big party it was only because they had lots of family in the area and it was still the day of the ceremony and a combo if more than one family member was graduating. Not knocking them but they seem like they are veering into entitled PITA territory like weddings.
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Post by littlemama on Jun 14, 2016 21:45:48 GMT
Usually they are fun. You can just hop from one to the other. Good time to catch up with people you haven't seen for a while. I'm sure they are just kind of blown away finding out that some areas have graduation parties every weekend from June until August, multiple parties a weekend, people party hopping. I'm used to graduation celebrations being family only and more commonly just a nice dinner out with their immediate family after the ceremony. If someone did have a big party it was only because they had lots of family in the area and it was still the day of the ceremony and a combo if more than one family member was graduating. Not knocking them but they seem like they are veering into entitled PITA territory like weddings. Nah, they are very casual open houses. If you can make it, fine. If you can't, that is fine, too. Gifts are never expected, especially from the kids. They are just fun. This one is some kind of special.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Jun 15, 2016 0:15:00 GMT
1. If ever there were a time for the dimes and nickels as a gift, this is it! DIME DIME = 20 DIME NICKEL PENNY = 16. 2. We could all send littlemama a dollar for her DS to buy a gift so we can get a report back.
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Post by scrapmaven on Jun 15, 2016 0:24:26 GMT
What a charming young woman. Her sense of entitlement is only as big as her lack of manners.
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grammanisi
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,741
Jun 26, 2014 1:37:37 GMT
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Post by grammanisi on Jun 15, 2016 0:27:44 GMT
I would tell her that I spent the gift money on gas to get to the venue an hour away!!
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bandjmom
Full Member
Posts: 197
Jun 25, 2014 23:28:19 GMT
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Post by bandjmom on Jun 15, 2016 0:34:23 GMT
I'm sure they are just kind of blown away finding out that some areas have graduation parties every weekend from June until August, multiple parties a weekend, people party hopping. I'm used to graduation celebrations being family only and more commonly just a nice dinner out with their immediate family after the ceremony. If someone did have a big party it was only because they had lots of family in the area and it was still the day of the ceremony and a combo if more than one family member was graduating. Not knocking them but they seem like they are veering into entitled PITA territory like weddings. Nah, they are very casual open houses. If you can make it, fine. If you can't, that is fine, too. Gifts are never expected, especially from the kids. They are just fun. This one is some kind of special. Definitely casual open houses here. It is a local "thing" and I know it isn't the norm in other places. Youngest ds graduated the Friday of Memorial Day weekend. His open house was that Sunday. It is a fair amount of work and scrambling around to get ready, but we did have fun. Our hs is large. Ceremony is always a Friday night and the grads have to be in the arena at 4:30 for 7 p.m. ceremony that gets out after 9. It's not a schedule that's really conducive to a nice celebration afterward. Ds has gone to a number of parties over the past few weekends. DH and I went to two Saturday and two Sunday and had a good time catching up with friends and acquaintances and even made some plans for early fall after the nests are empty. This was our second grad party and truly we were just happy to see whoever could make it. My manager who grew up elsewhere and does not have kids kept asking me if the party was just for ds' friends, or family and how I could plan food when you don't know how many people are coming. I just laughed and said it is one of the last true inter-generational events, and it's best to pick something that freezes well and you don't mind eating for awhile afterward. The grads do get gifts, but not from everyone, and it's OK either way. I don't think having guests address the envelope for their thank you note would go over too well around here, though. Ds is working right now on tracking down addresses for some unexpected gifts.
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Post by pierkiss on Jun 15, 2016 0:34:49 GMT
I probably wouldn't be going to that.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 15, 2016 0:40:09 GMT
Not sure what to think other than it's a bit forward. Perhaps something happened in the past (birthday party?) where people showed up without bearing gifts or that this is her first exposure to grad parties? Is this party at a special venue with only a few invited guests? DS went to one grad party on a boat where only a few classmates were invited and he did bring a gift to that one. I guess the saving grace is that she did say a "little" gift so she's not expecting much, but simply a small token. It's never good manners to ask for gifts, no matter how small.
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Mary Kay Lady
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PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
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Jun 27, 2014 4:11:36 GMT
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Jun 15, 2016 0:50:35 GMT
I would be mortified if my child posted something like that to FB. If my child was invited to a party where the host posted something like this I would strongly urge him not to go-and to find new friends.
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Post by bosoxbeth on Jun 15, 2016 2:18:01 GMT
That's hideous behavior. WOW.
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Post by utpea on Jun 15, 2016 7:43:10 GMT
Double yikes!
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 4:52:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2016 15:19:16 GMT
Hilarious!!!
Just read it to my high school aged daughters. They think that sounds like a mother who has been whining to her daughter that too many people will show up to just mooch and the kid felt pressured to say it. None of their friends would ever demand gifts.
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Post by whopea on Jun 15, 2016 15:36:39 GMT
That's appalling at best.
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 4:52:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2016 15:42:16 GMT
Yikes! That is tacky!! I don't often have tacky things to share here, but one thing this weekend made me roll my eyes. My daughter graduated a couple of weeks ago, so she is now making the rounds of grad parties. Our whole family has been invited to some (her boyfriend's and some of her close friends who I know well). One of her best friend's party was this past weekend. I was planning to give her money, but my daughter told me the day of the party that the girl had been telling people "My mom is going to give you $50, just so ya know!" I told my daughter that is wonderful, but, I can't give $50 to all of her friends. I doubt the girl's mom knew her daughter was saying that because I know her, and she would probably be mortified. Very tacky as well! An easy answer to that would be "That's what I was gonna give you too!! Why don't we just pretend we gave each other the 50 bucks! It all evens out!"
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Post by littlemama on Jun 19, 2016 2:10:19 GMT
BTT for update.
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Post by LilyRose on Jun 19, 2016 2:16:44 GMT
I almost feel sad for her. Almost.
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,506
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
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Post by MorningPerson on Jun 19, 2016 2:18:24 GMT
Tacky invite or not, I'm sad to read your update.
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Post by laureljean on Jun 19, 2016 2:20:21 GMT
I think it was a hard life lesson for her. Hopefully one of her friends will (in a gentle way) fill her in on why no one showed up.
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