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Post by christine58 on Aug 3, 2014 12:06:02 GMT
Geez guys, Karenina and jamieson, can you not respect that she asked not to be quoted? ( jamieson paraphrased, but still...) @benem - take care of you. You are one of my favorite posters, but please do what you need to do until it is safe for you to be here. (((hugs))) Honest to God...if someone cannot be quoted, they should not be posting.
Quoting is a long time feature, heavily used both at 2peas and here. When I read, I quote people. I don't think it's on ME to have to remember "oh I can't quote that person for her own personal safety". I'm concerned for her, but her internet safety is within her own hands. (I can hardly remember what I did yesterday...but all the sudden OP's personal safety is on me?)
If things are that dire for her in regards to her going to the police, and her being in fear for her life as she's stated many times, the internet is truly the last place she needs to be...especially with the same username.
I wish her well...but clearly she needs to take a break for a while...at least until the police conclude their investigation.
:yeahthat:She NEEDS to get off of here....NOW...
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Post by lovetodigi on Aug 3, 2014 12:37:09 GMT
Stay safe. Maybe you could start a new account here under a different name. If you choose to do so, do not leave any footprints that could lead some low life to find you here. No links to a Facebook or Pinterest account that may have your real name and try not to mention names that you have used in posts previously that could be connected back to you. There are some crazy people out there and you never know what might set them off. I am sorry that you are going through this. I am glad that we have an admin that is caring and quickly has our back if we need her. It is important to aways keep in mind, that while we have to be a member and signed in to post, this place is not secret and can be seen by anyone, anywhere. Please be careful and if you see or hear anything that causes you concern for your safety, get help immediately. Take care of yourself.
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hello
Aug 3, 2014 12:45:06 GMT
Post by phoenixcov on Aug 3, 2014 12:45:06 GMT
So sorry this is happening to you. I really liked your posts. Take care.
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Post by sarahyoo72 on Aug 3, 2014 12:47:28 GMT
I'm sorry to hear this Benem.
I always enjoy reading your posts, and I hope that this situation is resolved quickly and you begin to feel safe enough to be here again.
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hello
Aug 3, 2014 12:47:43 GMT
Post by mollycoddle on Aug 3, 2014 12:47:43 GMT
Lovetodigi gave you some good advice. Get a new username and start over, without leaving a footprint. I hope that you are able to figure out what is going on.
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hello
Aug 3, 2014 13:01:57 GMT
Post by Ramona on Aug 3, 2014 13:01:57 GMT
Take care of yourself, stay safe.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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hello
Aug 3, 2014 13:13:25 GMT
Post by eastcoastpea on Aug 3, 2014 13:13:25 GMT
Sending positive vibes your way. When it is safe to do so, please come back. You will be missed.
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,432
Jun 26, 2014 3:11:50 GMT
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Post by YooHoot on Aug 3, 2014 13:55:41 GMT
Geez guys, Karenina and jamieson, can you not respect that she asked not to be quoted? ( jamieson paraphrased, but still...) @benem - take care of you. You are one of my favorite posters, but please do what you need to do until it is safe for you to be here. (((hugs))) Honest to God...if someone cannot be quoted, they should not be posting.
Quoting is a long time feature, heavily used both at 2peas and here. When I read, I quote people. I don't think it's on ME to have to remember "oh I can't quote that person for her own personal safety". I'm concerned for her, but her internet safety is within her own hands. (I can hardly remember what I did yesterday...but all the sudden OP's personal safety is on me?)
If things are that dire for her in regards to her going to the police, and her being in fear for her life as she's stated many times, the internet is truly the last place she needs to be...especially with the same username.
I wish her well...but clearly she needs to take a break for a while...at least until the police conclude their investigation.
I agree 100%. Sorry you (OP) are going through this but if you had to go to the police for this, I damn sure wouldn't be back on here telling people about it. I think you need to delete your account and step away from the internet for a while.
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Post by Goldynn on Aug 3, 2014 14:00:43 GMT
How dramatic it all is. It was only days ago that your life was threatened and yet here you are again posting. That is not logical, even after your claim that you now feel certain you know who it is and are safe. Why such a strong need to return so fast under the same username? You should protect yourself. If you love being here, start over as was suggested. I suspect that we don't know your real reasons for deleting, and I wonder if you just need attention?
Not trying to get unnecessarily harsh, I just don't understand why you're here if your safety was compromised. And I don't know why we should all follow special rules for you.
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hello
Aug 3, 2014 14:06:55 GMT
Post by gizzy on Aug 3, 2014 14:06:55 GMT
Whatever is happening, be safe.
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Post by papersilly on Aug 3, 2014 14:15:01 GMT
How dramatic it all is. It was only days ago that your life was threatened and yet here you are again posting. That is not logical, even after your claim that you now feel certain you know who it is and are safe. Why such a strong need to return so fast under the same username? You should protect yourself. If you love being here, start over as was suggested. I suspect that we don't know your real reasons for deleting, and I wonder if you just need attention? Not trying to get unnecessarily harsh, I just don't understand why you're here if your safety was compromised. And I don't know why we should all follow special rules for you. I was thinking this too. Your life is more important than any message board.
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,457
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Aug 3, 2014 14:15:21 GMT
I have no idea what happened, but wanted to say Be Safe.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 3, 2014 14:22:44 GMT
... I keep saying too much and then deleting. ... Then stop posting about this and drawing attention to yourself. For someone who is fearful for her internet safety, you are going about things in a manner that defies logic.
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hello
Aug 3, 2014 14:27:15 GMT
Post by melanell on Aug 3, 2014 14:27:15 GMT
I'm very sorry you are dealing with this.
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Post by molove on Aug 3, 2014 14:32:58 GMT
You keep saying too much, and then delete?
Think about THAT for a minute.
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Post by myboysnme on Aug 3, 2014 14:52:50 GMT
I have NO idea what is going on. I read a Mr Darcy post once or twice and other than that I have no earthly idea what is going on. So I may be completely off base with this, but it would be my hope that when threads like this are started that the OP tell us what happened so we don't have to wonder what the heck is going on. I get that someone who may be a pea did something that made her feel threatened, but gees, if it could happen to her it could happen to us. I mean, I'd like to protect myself from crazy too. When Mrs Tyler left, we knew it was because someone called her employer to talk about her post content. In this case, one of us is in fear for her life and I am reading this with no understanding of what happened or why.
Op, do what you think is right for you, truly, but if you are going to post, please just say it and don't be cryptic about it.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Aug 3, 2014 15:24:21 GMT
Thanks for the update. Be safe. Good for you for contacting law enforcement.
Benem owes no one any further details.
It is no secret that there are people in this community who given a few details about your life will cross the line. Looks like it's happened again and this thread is another reminder.
Edited to add now it appears the OP knows (not sure how) that no one here is involved. Would appear the crazies are getting into her life repeatedly. Maybe some self reflection is needed by he OP. As others have said, best to keep personal life quiet and post anon.
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hello
Aug 3, 2014 16:03:08 GMT
Post by PenandInk on Aug 3, 2014 16:03:08 GMT
Benem, you are a lot of fun and I look forward to your posts. Take care of yourself and do what you need to do. And thanks for the update! This quiet little lurker was worried about you!
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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hello
Aug 3, 2014 16:03:40 GMT
Post by valleyview on Aug 3, 2014 16:03:40 GMT
Stay safe, OP. Thank you Fairy Podmother for helping out. Just another reason to be happy in our new home.
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,709
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
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Post by Dani-Mani on Aug 3, 2014 16:07:44 GMT
I never read a single one of your Mr. Darcy posts because they didn't interest me. But Lord, this is a lot of drama!
Best of luck to you...
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MaryC
Full Member
Posts: 213
Jun 25, 2014 21:52:55 GMT
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Post by MaryC on Aug 3, 2014 16:37:40 GMT
While I understand your concerns, you are an adult and the decision to post or not post is up to you and no one else. However, it is unrealistic and unfair to expect others to change their normal posting habits to protect you from yourself. Not everyone reads every thread or is aware of everyone's personal situation. If you make the choice to post something, you assume the possibility that someone else is going to quote you - that is simply the nature of internet message boards. If you are truly concerned that anything you post here may be used against you, the safest choice may be to not post at all.
If you routinely over-share and then delete, make a habit of typing your post out in word or notepad first. Save it, do something else, then go back to it in a few minutes and read it critically, as though it were someone else's post. Then make the choice whether to post as is, edit, or just not post it at all. Sometimes just typing your thoughts out can help you process things in your own mind.
If you delete this account and user name, consider using a disposable or throwaway e-mail address for a new account - nothing that is associated with any of your other online activities or your regular e-mail account.
I wish you safety and peace of mind.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:37:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 16:43:06 GMT
So much drama to bring here when you admit that none of it involves anyone here.
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hello
Aug 3, 2014 16:49:06 GMT
Post by cindyupnorth on Aug 3, 2014 16:49:06 GMT
I think what she is saying is that NO ONE from this site was involved. But at first when the incident happened, she thought it might have been someone from here. So none of her postings on here or anything had anything to do with it? I could be wrong though, and it was something from her blog someone read and contacted Mr Darcy. That is why she feels safe posting here again. ?? At least that is what I am getting from it. So it doesn't matter if she posts here or not. So no need for handslapping her posting here.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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hello
Aug 3, 2014 16:51:13 GMT
Post by inkedup on Aug 3, 2014 16:51:13 GMT
Just a suggestion, but if you are worried about being stalked, perhaps posting under the exact screen name you used at 2 Peas and here is not the best idea? If others have to be careful not to quote you and such, then perhaps you should take the step to change your screen name to protect yourself?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:37:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 17:06:26 GMT
I think what she is saying is that NO ONE from this site was involved. But at first when the incident happened, she thought it might have been someone from here. So none of her postings on here or anything had anything to do with it? I could be wrong though, and it was something from her blog someone read and contacted Mr Darcy. That is why she feels safe posting here again. ?? At least that is what I am getting from it. So it doesn't matter if she posts here or not. So no need for handslapping her posting here. The issue is...it's not up to us (to not quote her) to keep her safe. That is not my responsibility. Keeping her safe isn't the Admin's responsibility either. OP is a grown ass woman and should know how to take care of herself. If she's so afraid that even though she's certain it's no one from here, that she has to ask all of us not to quote her...then clearly, she's still afraid. If she posts, and then decides she overshared and has to go back and delete...then clearly she shouldn't be posting at all if this is such an urgent matter that warrants her asking us to not quote her. Again, this is a discussion board. I'd never purposely put anyone (here or IRL) in danger...but holy hell...she's relying on all of us to not quote her...on a DISCUSSION BOARD to keep her safe? Makes absolutely zero sense. I will say again...if for whatever reason you're not able to be quoted, you should not be posting on this message board.
And frankly, I don't understand if she is SO AFRAID, why is she still posting under the same name? It makes zero sense.
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Post by rumplesnat on Aug 3, 2014 17:12:22 GMT
I find this to be vague-peaing at it's finest.
You are so terrified for your safety that you are having hard time typing lately. (First sentence in your post.)
You have all threads pulled during a time where you were so petrified that you notified authorities.
With your life/safety being threatened via some stalker on the internet, you STILL feel the need to come back to a message board, mere hours after all of this shit supposedly went down, to tell virtual strangers that you appreciate their concern, well wishes, etc.
I can't imagine being as scared as you said you were, to go the extent that you did, only to come back so very, very quickly, pop in to say "hello", and say that you are so confident that this stalker isn't following you online. Here. At this message board. On the internet. Under the same username. Knowing shit like this has happened here before.
You do realize that even though you may feel like you "know" a stranger online that we're still really strangers online, right?
And these authorities that you have been in touch with haven't discouraged you to avoid this type of behavior? I'm both perplexed and fascinated.
I wish you well in your endeavors.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:37:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 17:24:31 GMT
I personally was deleting all my posts on here due to a personal situation too private to share openly. All my posts on every thread....No I don't expect total privacy on the internet. But there is a line. Normal psychologically stable people know where it is. That line was crossed. ... For my personal and physical safety. ... Since then I have been to the police station, and have engaged a legal investigator with internet expertise. Monday I will be looking for an attorney. I have made sure this weekend to never be alone. ... I am now maybe 90 percent reassured that no one here has been involved. But the peas were used as a weapon and that has never ever hapoened before. Not in my 12 years as a pea. ... I am afraid to be here now. ...Personal safety? Just for posting musings on a potential romantic relationship? I tend to agree with what Burning Feather said on another thread. Anything you post has the potential for the world to know. No. For posting anything on here. Anything. ... I am now almost certain no one on here has discovered my personal info or using any information to hurt me or scare me. Only after that did i feel it was ok to at least explain why the Admin acted as she did. There are reasons for my posting that you just dont know about. I keep saying too much and then deleting. Thank you for your kind messages. Now that i am almost sure i know the culprit, i am not scared that a random stranger is watching me and that the situation might escalate. Take care. I originally thought you were being unnecessarily picked on for having everything, including your quotes, deleted. I don't think that any longer. Seriously, hon, you know you've got to keep your stories straight before posting this kind of stuff here. You say you've involved the police, a private investigator, and an attorney. You say your posts here are being used as a weapon. You say, in fact, that you're scared to be here. But yet here you are, again - creating threads about the very problem you claim you have. It just doesn't add up. I think you're either making it all up or, if you do have a real problem, you are intentionally egging it on. If I am wrong, then I apologize. In that event, then for goodness sake delete this thread. Your professionals will give you the same advice. Either way, I think advantage was taken of Admin's generosity. BTW - if you are concerned that what you write/wrote here was overly revealing, then you should take a hard look at your blog. It's a straight line to you.
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hello
Aug 3, 2014 17:30:46 GMT
Post by cindyupnorth on Aug 3, 2014 17:30:46 GMT
"The issue is...it's not up to us (to not quote her) to keep her safe. That is not my responsibility. Keeping her safe isn't the Admin's responsibility either. OP is a grown ass woman and should know how to take care of herself. If she's so afraid that even though she's certain it's no one from here, that she has to ask all of us not to quote her...then clearly, she's still afraid. If she posts, and then decides she overshared and has to go back and delete...then clearly she shouldn't be posting at all if this is such an urgent matter that warrants her asking us to not quote her. Again, this is a discussion board. I'd never purposely put anyone (here or IRL) in danger...but holy hell...she's relying on all of us to not quote her...on a DISCUSSION BOARD to keep her safe? Makes absolutely zero sense. I will say again...if for whatever reason you're not able to be quoted, you should not be posting on this message board.
And frankly, I don't understand if she is SO AFRAID, why is she still posting under the same name? It makes zero sense" ----------------------------------------
I agree it's not our responsibility to keep her safe. BUT! you aren't reading everything. She has updated, and said it wasn't anyone from this board. She asked for the deleting and no quotes before she found that out. I assume she doesn't care anymore if anyone quotes her again, and I assume she feels comfortable using that name, as NOTHING FROM HERE USING THAT NAME was used.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:37:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 17:32:29 GMT
If you have been stalked online more than once (or in person for that matter), you really need to examine your habits.
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hello
Aug 3, 2014 17:34:33 GMT
via mobile
Post by padresfan619 on Aug 3, 2014 17:34:33 GMT
On the first page of this thread, her second post says she still doesn't want people to quote her so she can delete her words if she chooses. So yes she STILL wants people to not quote her on here.
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