jen4
Shy Member
Posts: 39 
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Post by jen4 on Aug 4, 2014 2:18:44 GMT
I've been very depressed for the past month dealing with a difficult breakup from my bipolar ex which I had posted about a week or two ago. Tears flow when I think of him, missing him, and not hearing from him. I wish I could have changed anything to work it out with him but I guess I've lost him for good and can't do anything about it. I'm having a hard time with this.
I've been debating whether I should get some counseling for myself. Would counseling help me to get through this and is it worth it to get some help? I guess some people can do that on their own and get through their depression and move on. Has anyone gone through counseling for depression for this type of situation or is it something I need to be strong for myself and get over it? Any advice?
I know everyone deals with what is thrown in life in their own way....what is the best way to deal with it?
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chamadog
Junior Member
Posts: 64
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Post by chamadog on Aug 4, 2014 2:38:31 GMT
I can't speak to your specific situation, or the best way to deal with it, but I'm a firm believer in counseling. Does your employer offer an EAP? With an EAP you often get a set number of visits for free. Sometimes that's enough. I once had a doctor tell me that depression can be long-term or like a skipping needle in a record; you just need someone to help you get your needle out of the groove. I think that if you're wondering, it's probably a good thing to explore.
Best of luck to you,
Ann
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Post by hollymolly on Aug 4, 2014 2:43:01 GMT
I second chamadog.
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Post by scrappintoee on Aug 4, 2014 2:43:37 GMT
First of all---sorry for all you're going through, and many ((( HUGS )))!!! Don't try to be strong and get through this alone---you will just exhaust yourself!!!! Counseling is a GREAT idea---you are going through such a hard time, and I believe very much in counseling for that objective ear we sometimes need.....And even if you don't bond well with the first counselor, try another! I've had wonderful help from them in the past--- Good Luck!!!  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 16:29:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 2:44:46 GMT
I have been exactly where you are. PLEASE get help. It's honestly the best thing I ever did for myself. It was hard reaching out and I called my EAP through work. I did have to go through 2 therapists before I finally found one that gets me.
Good luck..I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Help changed my life and I am a firm believer in it..you jur have to be willing to put yourself out there.
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Post by lovetodigi on Aug 4, 2014 2:48:06 GMT
When my son died, counseling helped me to get through an extremely rough time. It didn't fix it and of course, it couldn't change what happened, but it helped me to be able to deal with my loss better than I was before counseling. I would recommend to anyone who is going through a life changing event. (((HUG)))
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Aug 4, 2014 2:49:33 GMT
Would counseling help me to get through this and is it worth it to get some help? YOU are worth it. I would start by talking to your primary care physician, if you have one, and ask if they have someone to recommend. It is possible that you will go to a few sessions and find that just the very act of talking about it will help you out of your dark space. Remember, too, that sometimes depression has a physiological cause that you can't shake on your own. A good therapist will help you figure that out. And do NOT be afraid to switch therapists until you find one you like. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 16:29:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 3:21:01 GMT
I think it's absolutely worth it to get counseling for situational depression. My friend who is a social worker refers to therapy as a way to "fill your toolbox" and develop effective coping strategies, among other things.
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Post by shevy on Aug 4, 2014 3:26:15 GMT
You have nothing to lose by trying. Find someone and let it all out. Often just a coue of 'tools' to use when having difficulty are helpful.
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ReneeH20
Full Member
Posts: 452
Jun 28, 2014 16:00:48 GMT
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Post by ReneeH20 on Aug 4, 2014 4:01:05 GMT
It is very common for the significant others of people with bi-polar and depression to experience secondary depression. Anne Sheffield is an author that talks about Depression Fall Out. Her books are a very good read. Lots of a-ha moments. i think a therapist could be very helpful for you. Make sure find one that has worked with families of bi-polar people. In trying to find a therapist for my DD (who suffers from depression), I found some that didn't understand what loved ones go through. I have a number of people in my family with depression (mother, sister, husband). |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 16:29:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 4:37:16 GMT
Definitely get counseling! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I also recommend the book, "He's Just No Good For You" and to cut off all contact with him. I even cut out mutual friends when I broke up with my ex fiance but he was abusive.
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craftchickapowpow
Full Member
My Circus My Monkeys
Posts: 206
Jun 26, 2014 16:12:18 GMT
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Post by craftchickapowpow on Aug 4, 2014 4:45:31 GMT
ditto the others saying yes! Talking out your feelings and emotions is cleansing and very helpful. Good luck to you.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 16:29:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 5:19:53 GMT
I agree with all the above advice and want to applaud you for recognizing your feelings and being brave enough to ask for help! That's a wonderful thing to do for yourself, because you are worth it! Hugs to you, please check in when you can and best of luck on feeling better. Were here for you!!! |
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jen4
Shy Member
Posts: 39
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Post by jen4 on Aug 4, 2014 14:20:04 GMT
After reading all the responses, thank you! I got in touch with a counselor this morning who is willing to meet with me and talk things over.
Me - I checked out the book and will get one to read it! Thanks for the suggestion!
I appreciate your caring thoughts, prayers and advice, will keep you posted!
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Post by mikklynn on Aug 4, 2014 15:08:40 GMT
I think it's absolutely worth it to get counseling for situational depression. My friend who is a social worker refers to therapy as a way to "fill your toolbox" and develop effective coping strategies, among other things. Brilliant! And, be kind to yourself. Why can't we treat ourselves they way we'd treat our best friend? Don't compare yourself to others who "got over it". |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 16:29:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 15:13:04 GMT
It's normal to be in pain after this kind of relationship. It's not ok to have to suffer and hurt that much inside. You have the right to feel happy and whole again. Counselling will fill your toolbox and make you feel good again. It will take some work of course, but you know deep down you are totally worth it and want to feel good.
Best of luck! I know what it's like to have a bad breakup. When Andy and i broke up in 2003 I thought my life would end forever. Somehow it went on after I got good counselling and medication. I know you will feel great soon! Have faith and good luck! xoxox
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 16:29:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 15:56:58 GMT
I'm sort of on the same page as you OP. I have had an appointment scheduled for months (go this Friday) to speak to a counselor. I think that my pcp thinks that I have some sort of personality disorder, but honestly, I think that the majority of my problem stems from the BS that I have been putting up with at home for WAY.TOO.DAMN. LONG!
I think that counseling will help, I mean how exactly can it hurt? Even if you don't get anything out of it (doubt that would happen) all you have lost is time, and it sounds like that is just time you would spend dwelling on the ex anyway. Boy, don't I sound like I have all my shit together?? LOL NOT!
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Post by annabella on Aug 5, 2014 15:05:25 GMT
Just wanted to offer you hugs.
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kelkel
Junior Member
Posts: 77
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Post by kelkel on Aug 5, 2014 15:17:35 GMT
When my son died, counseling helped me to get through an extremely rough time. It didn't fix it and of course, it couldn't change what happened, but it helped me to be able to deal with my loss better than I was before counseling. I would recommend to anyone who is going through a life changing event. (((HUG))) I could've wrote this word for word. Counseling helped me find my new "normal" Please take care of you! |
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Aug 5, 2014 15:24:02 GMT
Just nodding my head with all that's been said above and offering you hugs and support. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 5, 2014 15:35:57 GMT
I always think that there is a little negative voice in our heads that says silly things like "this isn't as bad as...fill in the blank...so I should be able to just get over it" and "this problem doesn't even rank when compared to people who..." and then we decide to just suck it up and suffer in silence because we don't think we should have to go for formal help over something so "trivial" (so the little voice says.) The fact of the matter is we all handle each situation in our life differently. Even you, in your own life, may have a different reaction to the same event if it were to happen at a different time. There is no scale of how bad things have to be before you go to counseling. There are no rules about how you have to react to life, and therefore no rules to when you should or should not go and get help. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 16:29:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 15:43:30 GMT
After reading all the responses, thank you! I got in touch with a counselor this morning who is willing to meet with me and talk things over. Me - I checked out the book and will get one to read it! Thanks for the suggestion! I appreciate your caring thoughts, prayers and advice, will keep you posted! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck!!!! |
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Post by 5peanutsnana on Aug 5, 2014 15:46:51 GMT
 Seeking counsel is a sign of strength, not weakness. I wish you all the best.
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Seeking counsel is a sign of strength, not weakness. I wish you all the best.
