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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 16:57:05 GMT
In her bedroom? She is 19 years old and not very responsible. Many times leaves her fan on, lights on, windows open when the AC is on. She bought a candle and I flipped that she had it burning in her room. Even if she was responsible, I don't think candles are appropriate in the bedroom.
Ann
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 16:59:00 GMT
She's 19??? Yeah I don't think I would have a problem with that. I burn candles in my bedroom all the time. Not sure why that isn't appropriate. But I am responsible and I would hope a 19 year old would be too. They are an adult.
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Post by liya on Aug 4, 2014 16:59:15 GMT
Nope not mean. Your house; your rules. Candles in bedrooms are a huge fire hazard; especially if she is not responsible.
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Post by kandie on Aug 4, 2014 16:59:14 GMT
NO you are not mean!!
I agree with you!!!
I would maybe allow her to get an candle warmer??
less chance of accidental fire and she still gets to enjoy the candle smell
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perumbula
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Post by perumbula on Aug 4, 2014 16:59:40 GMT
no, you aren't being unreasonable. Buy her a wax warmer (Sentsy type) so she can have the scents safely.
Candles are a very bad idea if you aren't being very careful with them.
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caro
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Post by caro on Aug 4, 2014 17:01:23 GMT
This was always my reply to my kids and things they wanted to do at home that I was leery of "my home and until YOU pay the mortgage, my rules." Seemed to work.
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Post by anonrefugee on Aug 4, 2014 17:01:28 GMT
DS is a firebug, so letting him have a cande in his room would not end well.hws a few years younger though.
Is she burning for fragrance or mood lighting?
If mood could she use a battery operated one? Some of the high end ones are very nice. I use ones from target and HL and they work for me.
NO you are not mean btw
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purplebee
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Post by purplebee on Aug 4, 2014 17:02:32 GMT
No, not at all. No candles in the bedroom, they are a definite hazard.
And she does sound a bit scatterbrained. Go the Scentsy/warmer route, it's safer. I don't burn candles any more.
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Post by Basket1lady on Aug 4, 2014 17:02:46 GMT
My DD is younger (15), but I don't allow candles in the bedroom. She has a plug in air freshener and has several scents for that. And I bought her a few flame less candles. That was my compromise.
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styxgirl
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Jun 27, 2014 4:51:44 GMT
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Post by styxgirl on Aug 4, 2014 17:05:30 GMT
Not mean at all! Buy her Scentsy. You get the light and the scent.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Post by hennybutton on Aug 4, 2014 17:07:12 GMT
If she were living in a dorm in college, she most likely wouldn't be allowed to burn candles in her room. Too much of a fire hazard. No reason why you can't establish the same rule in your home.
For the record, I burned candles in my room when I was a young teen back in the dark ages (Seventies) and never burned anything down. When I was in junior high, I even used to make my own candles without parental supervision. There were no disasters.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 17:08:24 GMT
Tell her to get flame less candles.
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anniebygaslight
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 4, 2014 17:12:23 GMT
Your house, your rules. You may find that your insurance won't pay up if she starts a fire, albeit accidentally, with a candle.
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akathy
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Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Aug 4, 2014 17:13:18 GMT
Nothing mean about it. Your house, your rules. And for the record I wouldn't allow anyone to burn candles anywhere in my house no matter how old they are. I hate them.
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Post by Skypea on Aug 4, 2014 17:14:42 GMT
no, you aren't mean. you are smart! my nephew (when a teenager) almost burned his bdrm up (and whole house) with a candle.
get her one of those scented ones that flicker and operate on BATTERIES! that's all I will let me use these days! a live flame is just too dangerous - at any age.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 17:16:12 GMT
I don't think candles have to be dangerous, but I wasn't allowed to burn them when I lived at home (scent tolerance issues in my family, so other scent sources were not a a possibility). She will survive.  |
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wellway
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Post by wellway on Aug 4, 2014 17:16:31 GMT
I'll sit on the mean mum bench with you then. I only allow candles in the main room and only under close supervision. I did get some battery operated tealights to give everyone (me) more peace of mind!
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 4, 2014 17:16:49 GMT
Nope, I wouldn't go for it either. While some kids might be fine with them at that age, your description gives me concerns. My 18 year old is very smart but very forgetful at times too.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 17:17:28 GMT
First of all, anyone who has moved into a home where candles have been frequently burned will back you up on that. It leaves an amazing amount of soot residue that people seem to be blind to in their own homes.
Second, there's too much of a risk of falling asleep in a bedroom while a candle is burning.
Scentsy, candle warmer, or other non-flame alternative.
My house, my rules.
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smartypants71
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Post by smartypants71 on Aug 4, 2014 17:17:36 GMT
Candles in the bedroom make me very nervous. A person in a neighboring apartment caught the whole building on fire because a candle fell over in her room. I nearly lost all of my belongings because of that.
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Post by shanniebananie on Aug 4, 2014 17:30:27 GMT
My in laws recently built a house. I am not sure which one - warranty or insurance will be voided if they burn candles at ALL in their home! How ridiculous is that?!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 17:33:28 GMT
I just went through this with my DD...who is 20. She too is not at all responsible...not only leaving lights, fans, etc on...but her room is a freaking mess. I'm not sure she could find a clean, safe space to put a candle.
I told her that it poses too much risk to the rest of the family. They don't allow open flames in college dorm rooms either...those kids are 19-23 yrs old.
It's just too much risk. IMO, this is one of those things that Mom just knows best...and I'm not willing to risk our lives and all of our posessions because she is not responsible. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 17:35:28 GMT
I hate candles. I think they are so dangerous. The only time I ever use them is on the table for nice dinners and they are out as soon as we get up from the table. No way would I allow anyone, regardless of age, to burn candles in their bedroom in my home.
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Post by gizzy on Aug 4, 2014 17:38:11 GMT
If she's irresponsible, I can't blame you at all.
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Post by mikklynn on Aug 4, 2014 17:40:20 GMT
No, you are not mean. As the daughter of a firefighter, I can tell you we were NEVER allowed candles. He could barely tolerate candles on the birthday cakes.
Stick to your decision.
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Post by colleen on Aug 4, 2014 17:41:22 GMT
The teenager down the street burned the house down with an unattended candle. So, I agree with you.
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Post by gar on Aug 4, 2014 17:45:30 GMT
I might let her earn it with improving her responsibility on issues like leaving lights on, windows on etc and then make sure she burns them safely i.e. on a large stable dish or whatever.
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Post by penny on Aug 4, 2014 17:46:16 GMT
Nope, not mean at all... Ask how many people who work emergency services burn candles in their bedroom if you want backup on that... Just too easy for them to be forgotten, to fall asleep, for linens/curtains to come into contact, etc... They amount of time you spend worrying and being mindful of then thing negates any relaxation you get from it IMHO...lol One of those warmers is safer...
Candles on a dinner table, no problem... Candles in a bathroom, no problem... Candles near a bunch of flammable stuff when I doze off - freaks me right out...lol
If she's looking for the light of a candle, there are battery powered ones or even small fairy lights can be nice...
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Post by moosedogtoo on Aug 4, 2014 17:46:27 GMT
The first house I ever bought had been a rent house before I bought it. It had a brand new interior because their last renter had left a candle burning in the bedroom. The fan blew the edge of the curtains into the flame and started a fire.
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Post by manda on Aug 4, 2014 17:46:35 GMT
Your house your rules.
I rented a room this past year to a 21 year old college student. I was amazed how she didn't give a second thought to leaving the space heater on or windows open when nobody was home; both of which I view as a significant safety issue. I finally had to take the space heater from her as she continued to leave it on at high when she wasn't home. Not only a waste of resources, but a fire hazard in my home.
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