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Post by redshoes on Aug 4, 2014 17:49:49 GMT
I'm surprised by how many say no to candles. I think it depends on the candle and the expectations for your DD. The Yankee Candle-type jars with the large base are pretty safe, IMO. I would be OK with it, if my DD put the candle in an out of way well-ventilated area (i.e. can't get easily knocked over) and only had it lit when she was in the room. I would not allow candle-stick type candles due to wax drippings, etc.
Given your description of her being irresponsibile, I would expect that she loses the privilege if the candle is left unattended.
But, that's just me. Your house, your rules. You have to do what you're comfortable with.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Aug 4, 2014 17:53:15 GMT
I think a scentsy candle (flameless) is a nice compromise.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,960
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Aug 4, 2014 17:54:23 GMT
I agree, your house, your rules. Not a mean mom at all.
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nyla
Shy Member
Posts: 23
Jun 28, 2014 20:15:34 GMT
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Post by nyla on Aug 4, 2014 18:03:22 GMT
dh is an insurance adjustor & super paranoid about house fires because of what he sees in his job. He's anti candle all together & definitely wouldn't allow them to be burned in anyone's bedroom at our house.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 14:25:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 18:03:52 GMT
Given your description of her being irresponsibile, I would expect that she loses the privilege if the candle is left unattended. Since the consequence of being irresponsible with it could be BURNING THE HOUSE DOWN, I say this isn't a "I give you the benefit of the doubt that you are going to be responsible with this despite your past behavior" issue. It's one thing if it's something that the potential consequence is a higher bill (windows open w/ AC on) or annoying someone else (being messy, etc). But when the consequence could be loss of everything - and the potential for harm/death to people... just no.
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Post by disneypal on Aug 4, 2014 18:05:40 GMT
A safe mom? Yes A mean mom? No
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Post by peasful1 on Aug 4, 2014 18:08:21 GMT
In her bedroom? She is 19 years old and not very responsible. Many times leaves her fan on, lights on, windows open when the AC is on. She bought a candle and I flipped that she had it burning in her room. Even if she was responsible, I don't think candles are appropriate in the bedroom. Ann I don't have an issue with candles. I can't see flipping out over it with a 19 year old, but perhaps I don't deal with the same level of irresponsibility.
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Post by cmpeter on Aug 4, 2014 18:11:39 GMT
After seeing a family friend burn to death when she left a candle on and fell asleep, I vote no candles in the bedroom and especially not when the person has demonstrated they are irresponsible in the ways you have mentioned.
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Post by 2peafaithful on Aug 4, 2014 18:13:28 GMT
Mean is so relative. If she thinks you are mean than oh well. It is your home, your rules. What about some other methods like a diffuser or scenty or something like that?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 14:25:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 18:16:48 GMT
Given your description of her being irresponsibile, I would expect that she loses the privilege if the candle is left unattended. Since the consequence of being irresponsible with it could be BURNING THE HOUSE DOWN, I say this isn't a "I give you the benefit of the doubt that you are going to be responsible with this despite your past behavior" issue. It's one thing if it's something that the potential consequence is a higher bill (windows open w/ AC on) or annoying someone else (being messy, etc). But when the consequence could be loss of everything - and the potential for harm/death to people... just no. Exactly.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Aug 4, 2014 18:26:21 GMT
I just lit some candles right before I read this! I have always burned candles and incense growing up and now as a adult. However I was and am responsible and always made sure they weren't lit when I left or went to sleep.
Your home your rules. I agree with getting a wax burner though. I actually prefer those now more than candles.
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Post by red88 on Aug 4, 2014 18:29:24 GMT
I won't allow candles in bedrooms at my house. Kitchen area only. I do have a scentsy burner in my bedroom. They seem less likely to start a fire. It's also never on unless I'm home. I also don't burn candles while I'm away.
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
Jun 26, 2014 15:57:39 GMT
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Aug 4, 2014 18:34:42 GMT
I'm a candle lover, so I can honestly say I have burned them in just about every room. That being said, your house = your rules. If she doesn't like it, um, who really cares, lol. And of course you're *mean* - you're her mom! We're always mean!
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Post by 3dcrafter on Aug 4, 2014 18:36:48 GMT
NO you are not mean!! I agree with you!!! I would maybe allow her to get an candle warmer?? less chance of accidental fire and she still gets to enjoy the candle smell ^^^this
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,348
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Aug 4, 2014 18:40:11 GMT
Not mean at all! Buy her Scentsy. You get the light and the scent. This is exactly what I was going to say!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 14:25:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 18:40:29 GMT
You know her better than we do..just cuz she's 19 doesn't mean she's responsible. Rely on your gut..better safe than sorry.
If you are second guessing it, I'd say it's your house, your rules.
Compromise and let her get an electric candle and some oil wick reed scented things. Lol
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Post by katiekaty on Aug 4, 2014 18:53:50 GMT
I never allowed it with all four of my kids. If you could have the condition of the carpet in all four bedrooms after they were done and left, and they were really great in most regards, a candle would not have been a good idea. We did allowed the little battery operated flicker candles and some kind of battery operated glade thingy, but that was it.
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Post by lbp on Aug 4, 2014 19:28:26 GMT
No! You are not a mean mom! I have a no candle policy in my home. The only candles ever lit are the ones of the dining room table when we entertain. No other candles anywhere in the house. I am too forgetful!
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Post by Baseballmom23 on Aug 4, 2014 19:33:28 GMT
Nope not mean. Your house; your rules. Candles in bedrooms are a huge fire hazard; especially if she is not responsible. ^^^^ ITA My mom's next door neighbor's son burn down the house because he left the house with a candle burning. very scary because the houses are so close together. My son, then 3 was at my mom's house when I got a call from a friend that the neighbor's house was on fire. In my house, we burn candles in the fireplace
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Post by alyssam on Aug 4, 2014 19:37:08 GMT
Your house, your rules. You may find that your insurance won't pay up if she starts a fire, albeit accidentally, with a candle. Yes, this!
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Post by Chips on Aug 4, 2014 19:50:20 GMT
I say no also. On the subject of this you know what else I don't like. The oil diffusers. What the heck, the can spill and leaves huge mess and when it is time to throw it out what do you do with all that oil!
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Post by beanbuddymom on Aug 4, 2014 20:14:35 GMT
Nope not mean, I'm a full adult and don't burn candles and I consider myself responsible, but accidents happen.
There are other options - the battery options are the ones that I often use in our house. Gives the same illusion.
If she wants to graduate to the candle warmers those also have a certain element of fire hazard as well if left on so I wouldn't necessarily offer that as an option.
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Post by Zee on Aug 4, 2014 20:14:48 GMT
Not at all. My totally annoying 19 yo has left burning candles unattended more than once, until I confiscated them all. Like, LEFT THE HOUSE unattended, and I found them when I got home. I could have strangled her.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 14:25:40 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 20:25:02 GMT
Candles: [HASH]5 on list of causes of house fires!
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,370
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Aug 4, 2014 21:42:22 GMT
I wouldn't allow it. Even if she were responsible, candles make me very nervous and we don't have them in our house unless the power goes out (and usually only if it's out for more than a day which has only happened maybe twice).
My dd sounds like yours though she's only 14. I can imagine her still being rather flighty then and I would definitely put my foot down on that.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,583
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Aug 4, 2014 21:54:22 GMT
Not mean. The local FDNY came to do a safety presentation for our apartment building, and they said if we HAD to burn candles, to put them in a baking pan full of water. And do not use them under any circumstances if you have cats or kids (who could knock them over).
Our building is old and wood-framed. The firefighters said if there is a fire, we had to just get the heck out ASAP.
I get candles as gifts from students all the time. I'm afraid to use them.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Aug 4, 2014 21:55:45 GMT
I was once at a reception with firefighters (and other safety workers). We got chatting about ways to reduce fire risk in the home and they all said, "Don't burn candles. Ever."
I'm gonna take their word for it.
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doglover
Full Member
Posts: 237
Jun 27, 2014 14:50:33 GMT
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Post by doglover on Aug 4, 2014 22:13:34 GMT
I don't allow candles in my home. When I was in high school, a fellow student's house burned down due to a candle and family members died.
My local firehouse periodically puts out a sign in front warning about the dangers of candles. That is the only thing they ever mention, which tells me something.
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Post by johna on Aug 4, 2014 22:32:47 GMT
I'm surprised by how many say no to candles. I think it depends on the candle and the expectations for your DD. The Yankee Candle-type jars with the large base are pretty safe, IMO. I would be OK with it, if my DD put the candle in an out of way well-ventilated area (i.e. can't get easily knocked over) and only had it lit when she was in the room. I would not allow candle-stick type candles due to wax drippings, etc. Given your description of her being irresponsibile, I would expect that she loses the privilege if the candle is left unattended. But, that's just me. Your house, your rules. You have to do what you're comfortable with. This is what I was thinking as I was reading this, too. My first thought was why is a candle in the bedroom such a horrible idea. I read all of the responses and I get what people are saying. I don't burn candles often, but when I do, they are the kind in a jar and I have the common sense to keep it away from anything flammable. if I have it downstairs, it's on the ceramic stovetop, with nothing nearby. but I love my scentsy, so I haven't actually burned a candle in years.
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Post by chrispeas on Aug 4, 2014 23:11:51 GMT
Nope! I just had this conversation with my 14 year old today. I'm not comfortable with candles being lit anywhere in my house but the kitchen. I don't light them in my own bedroom. I do have a couple of the battery operated ones that look and feel like real candles. I'm just a bit paranoid. I left a candle lit on my dresser, years ago, that I forgot about and left the house. I came back home and I hadn't noticed that I had because it had burned out. It wasn't until I went to light it that I noticed that it had left a burn mark under it. I shudder to think it could have been worse.
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