mom2paige
Junior Member
Posts: 82
Jun 25, 2014 23:59:17 GMT
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Post by mom2paige on Aug 7, 2014 1:18:18 GMT
I have an extended family member that essentially has three states of being: 1. "I'm coming down with ___" 2. "I'm sick." 3. "I'm just getting over ____"
These are all followed by detailed, repetitive, woe-is-me, narratives that last a solid 20 minutes.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Aug 7, 2014 1:22:44 GMT
The person I hear it from the most doesn't really have anything wrong. There's no chronic illness or diagnosis of any sort. It's more just a litany of every minor ailment known to man. "I have had a small headache all day." "My stomach is just the most wee bit upset." "I feel slightly dizzy." Never anything really wrong... just some little complaint to elicit sympathy and perhaps get out of doing something. But it's constant. Constant. Gee... don't you EVER feel GOOD?
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,080
Jun 27, 2014 19:06:19 GMT
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Post by samantha25 on Aug 7, 2014 1:26:31 GMT
I think people do like to talk about illnesses. I can't believe how many cancer stories I heard at my father's memorial service. The FIRST family friend I greeted, who I haven't seen since I was 10, started up with "in 1908, I had blood in my stool and on and on and on". I thought to myself, "Wow, this is going to be a long night" and long night it was...
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Post by Penellopy on Aug 7, 2014 1:41:04 GMT
I work with Mrs. Web MD. If her, her husband, or 2 daughters so much as get a splinter in a finger, she is off to research, diagnosis the problem if left untreated, and off to the doctor they go. She has been known to tell the doctor what her diagnosis is. I just avoid any and all questions that will lead to whatever illness they have that day. Believe me, she spends a lot of money and time on the road for what I call unnecessary crap.
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Post by pretzels on Aug 7, 2014 1:50:31 GMT
I remain convinced that people like that get/stay sick because of their attitude. My DH is like this. I get a sniffle? I keep on going and feel better within a day or two. He gets a sniffle? OMG. The world is ending and he must take to his sick bed for days. I just roll my eyes and stay out of his way.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:44:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2014 1:50:57 GMT
Sometimes I wonder if friends and family think this about me. I have chronic back issues and I often wonder this too. I've tried to become hyper-aware of my complaining, but I'm sure my DH is sick of hearing me groan and moan all of the time. Good reminder to suck it up, buttercup I also have chronic pain and wonder the same thing. But like you, I try to limit my complaining as much as possible.
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Post by chaosisapony on Aug 7, 2014 1:54:11 GMT
I have one coworker who constantly has strep throat. If she so much as sneezes it's "Omg I better not be getting strep". Heaven forbid she actually has a sore throat! Can't just be a cold, allergies, etc. It MUST be strep. And she MUST talk about it constantly for the next week.
My boss is no better. She recently injured her finger on Saturday. All I heard about Monday-Friday was how bad her finger hurt. She can't do x, y, or z because her finger hurts. She can't possibly answer the phone, that puts too much pressure on her finger. There were a couple of days there where she was walking around holding her entire arm above her head. Just begging for attention because of her hurt finger. Of course, it didn't hurt enough to go to the doctor and actually find out what was wrong. Heavens no.
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Post by pivibird on Aug 7, 2014 2:14:08 GMT
My BFF that I grew up with. OMG, she has more aches, pains, and illnesses and she's constantly calling out from work. She takes more pills in a day than I take in a year! Plus I get to hear about all symptoms and bodily function in great detail. I want to scream "you are 53 years old not 93!" I just don't have the patience for it, one of many reasons we are growing apart.
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Post by Miss Ang on Aug 7, 2014 2:15:16 GMT
I know three people like this and I avoid them as often as possible. It is exhausting to be around them.
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Post by whipea on Aug 7, 2014 2:19:01 GMT
I close friend/co-worker is a self-admitted hypochondriac. Always says he is and is allergic to everything. We travel together quite a bit and going out to eat and assuring the hotel and room are free from one of his ten thousand allergens is an epic adventure. I really like him but sometimes I want to give him something real painful to complain about.
The biggest issue I have with the health monitor type people who always say things to me like "are your feeling ok, you look like you are limping, and the kicker is you are so pale, you need to go see a doctor". Of course I look pale, my father was a redhead and I am very fair. It drives me nuts. I am very healthy but do occasionally ever so slightly limp when something is my shoe, or once due to a hole in my sock.
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scrapnchick
Shy Member
Posts: 32
Jun 29, 2014 4:24:12 GMT
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Post by scrapnchick on Aug 7, 2014 3:53:46 GMT
My family labeled me a hypochondriac. For years I suffered intense abdominal pain. I wound up in the ER several times because I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I knew that they joked about me behind my back and once my dad really hurt my feelings because he told me I needed to stop searching the Internet for new illnesses. He told me I would feel better if I stayed off the Internet.
The truth was, I was scouring the Internet looking for answers because the doctors never gave me any!
Nine years ago I had a doctor finally listen and actually try to find answers. He was the one who finally saved me. I had a seven pound tumor on the back of my uterus. I had bands of scar tissue (adhesions) attaching it to nearly every surface in my abdomen. It took them nine hours to remove my uterus, ovaries, parts of my bowel and bladder that had been damaged by adhesions that had torn over and over again.
I think my family FINALLY believes me now because after my long, complicated recovery I am a completely different person. Suddenly I'm not "lazy" any more. I exercise and can stand for more than ten minutes at a time.
I'm wasn't a hypochondriac. It hurt to hear people say that. And NOT ONE of them has apologized for all the years they made fun of me!
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Post by Lexica on Aug 7, 2014 4:05:54 GMT
I have a tendency to play with people like this. One of my very good friends is quite the hypochondriac. He and I used to work together. I cannot tell you the number of injuries he wanted to show me. I would be working on a deadline, hear him come into my office, look over, to see him yanking his pant leg up, or taking his shoes and socks off to show me a spot or rash that was upsetting him. The first fifty thousand times, I was sympathetic. I offered advice, provided my personal first aid kit, printed out pages from the web, and was compassionate. I even brought in things from home for him like my homemade chap stick, deep moisturizers with shea butter, etc. Sometimes he would call me before work and ask me to stop on my way in to get some anti-diarrhea medicine. Or, he needed Pepto Bismal and couldn't wait until lunch to go get it. I should mention he was also a superior, so he could clear me for showing up late after stopping at the store and getting something for him. He once asked me if I had anything for pain. He was in this terrible awful pain. He knew very well that I take morphine and vicodin. And I'm not sharing. He seriously wanted me to give him "just two or three" to get him through the rest of the week. I told him honestly that if I gave him even one, that meant while he was blissfully pain free from his splinter or whatever, I would be in extreme agony. Prescription pain meds are for a reason. And they don't tend to give you extras. You get what you need to make it through each day and no more. Would you ask a diabetic to give up a couple of doses of insulin to you? Or ask for a few of someone's blood pressure pills?. He seriously didn't seem to think it was a big deal to ask me. Maybe because we really were great friends and I didn't mind doing most of the things for him, but that went over the line. Not to mention it's not legal. Then I just had to start playing with him. And this was a good 15 years ago, long before the current issues in West Africa. My typical response was to go from zero to ebola. I would look at a rash or spot on his arm/leg/back wherever and make that "that's too bad" tut tut tut clicking noise and break it to him that he had the Ebola virus. I was sure of it. Or sometimes I would tell him it was either Ebola or a hang nail, I wasn't quite sure. I frequently recommended amputation. Leeches. Organ replacement. Sometimes putting a knife under his chair to "cut the pain." You would think he would stop coming to me, but he seemed to love it that much more. When I told him I was quitting, he freaked out and said who is going to take care of me now? But, we are still very good friends and meet for lunch when we can. He says he misses my diagnosis games. He knew he was over the edge with it and at least could laugh at himself. I highly recommend responding to these aches and pains with some over-the-top illness or remedy. It's very entertaining.
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Post by Lexica on Aug 7, 2014 4:09:32 GMT
My family labeled me a hypochondriac. For years I suffered intense abdominal pain. I wound up in the ER several times because I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I knew that they joked about me behind my back and once my dad really hurt my feelings because he told me I needed to stop searching the Internet for new illnesses. He told me I would feel better if I stayed off the Internet. The truth was, I was scouring the Internet looking for answers because the doctors never gave me any! Nine years ago I had a doctor finally listen and actually try to find answers. He was the one who finally saved me. I had a seven pound tumor on the back of my uterus. I had bands of scar tissue (adhesions) attaching it to nearly every surface in my abdomen. It took them nine hours to remove my uterus, ovaries, parts of my bowel and bladder that had been damaged by adhesions that had torn over and over again. I think my family FINALLY believes me now because after my long, complicated recovery I am a completely different person. Suddenly I'm not "lazy" any more. I exercise and can stand for more than ten minutes at a time. I'm wasn't a hypochondriac. It hurt to hear people say that. And NOT ONE of them has apologized for all the years they made fun of me! Ouch! I can't believe they didn't at least apologize to you for doubting your issues. I'm really sorry you had to endure this. Both the tumor (7 pounds!!!) and the thoughtless family members. Did you at least give them an "I told you so!" after your proper diagnosis?
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Post by megop on Aug 7, 2014 5:02:32 GMT
YES! I work in health care, and have a co-worker, whom I very much like their personality and who they are, but has made a rather mild food allergy the topic of conversation nearly every....single....day.
It's all frame of reference I suppose. It's big to them, but yes, at times, it is hard not to scream "do you see what is going on around you?" STHU!
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craftchickapowpow
Full Member
My Circus My Monkeys
Posts: 206
Jun 26, 2014 16:12:18 GMT
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Post by craftchickapowpow on Aug 7, 2014 5:17:27 GMT
you must work with my sister. If she ever really does get sick no one will believe her.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Aug 7, 2014 6:47:29 GMT
My grandmother has been a raving hypochondriac my entire life and beyond. Every physical sensation is reported, suspected, and analyzed. 20 years ago, she announced to us that she would not live though the winter. She was serious.
A few weeks later, I made a Costco run, and was unloading the groceries. My teenaged son came out to help (he was like that. Now he's supporting me, good guy, but I digress ). I had two of the giant Costco sized packages of toilet paper in the SUV, as he started to carry the second one to the house, I stopped him and told him I had picked it up for Grandmother. He didn't bat an eye, just said "Then she's not planning on dying anytime soon".
My Grandmother just turned 99, btw.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 7, 2014 6:58:33 GMT
I work with someone like this. Every breath is her last one. Whatever illness anyone has had, or whose family member or friend has had, she has had it, with bells on. We all roll our eyes when she starts.
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Post by scrappinmom3 on Aug 7, 2014 10:30:29 GMT
From Monklady123 And yes, I do know someone like this. This person is legitimately sick with a few things, but embellishes all of them plus makes up others. So a rash is immediately skin cancer, and a scratch that gets a teensy bit red (normal red) is obviously a raging staph infection, etc. It is a mental illness so I try to remember that. However, I'm also not going to be an enabler, so I don't encourage these conversations. I either change the subject or if it's in an email or text I often just ignore it.
This, what Monklady123 said , and it's my BFF. Love her with all of my heart, but it makes me CRAZY. *****i know that I probably just violated a PEA rule by the way that I copied and pasted this, but I only wanted Monklady123's quote, not the person that she quoted.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:44:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2014 11:03:51 GMT
We've got one at work. She only works part time thank goodness. She has a mild headache........no she has a full blown migraine She has a mild (runny nose) type of cold......no she has the latest deathly flu virus She has a spot come up on here face..........she wants to know what she can buy to treat the acne. If she has any meds for any illness( she doesn't need them most of the time) she reads the whole leaflets that comes with them and you can bet your life on it that before the end of the day she has one or more of the side effects that it listed to warns you that you MAY have with them. Everything she does or has is always the worst scenario. I can remember once, one of the young girls( 17) lost her mother and she told her she knew exactly how she was feeling because her cat had died the previous week She drives everyone crazy! She'll be really sick one day and people will end up not taking any notice of her.
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Post by monklady123 on Aug 7, 2014 11:27:59 GMT
My family labeled me a hypochondriac. For years I suffered intense abdominal pain. I wound up in the ER several times because I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I knew that they joked about me behind my back and once my dad really hurt my feelings because he told me I needed to stop searching the Internet for new illnesses. He told me I would feel better if I stayed off the Internet. The truth was, I was scouring the Internet looking for answers because the doctors never gave me any! Nine years ago I had a doctor finally listen and actually try to find answers. He was the one who finally saved me. I had a seven pound tumor on the back of my uterus. I had bands of scar tissue (adhesions) attaching it to nearly every surface in my abdomen. It took them nine hours to remove my uterus, ovaries, parts of my bowel and bladder that had been damaged by adhesions that had torn over and over again. I think my family FINALLY believes me now because after my long, complicated recovery I am a completely different person. Suddenly I'm not "lazy" any more. I exercise and can stand for more than ten minutes at a time. I'm wasn't a hypochondriac. It hurt to hear people say that. And NOT ONE of them has apologized for all the years they made fun of me! I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm glad you finally got an answer and that you're feeling like a different person. But, your case is different from what some of us have talked about. You had an unidentified pain that might have not been real, although it certainly turned out to be! However, this is different from the person who has a scratch and believes it will lead to amputation (seriously), or a rash that they assume is obviously skin cancer, or the headache that MUST be meningitis, or the pain in the ankle that is definitely a broken bone....etc. The woman I know who is like this can be with a young child during the day, and the next day the mom will say that the kid was diagnosed with strep, and immediately this woman will have a sore throat and of course it's strep. Never mind the fact that you can't catch something that fast. And the woman I know recently did actually break a bone in her foot. But no one believed her until she actually went and got an xray which showed a fracture. We didn't believe her, not because we're not sympathetic friends, but because of the "amputation/cancer/meningitis" events preceding that. Yes, I know I sound unsympathetic, but when I first met this person she took advantage of my ignorance of her hypochondria. Since then I've also learned about how we can become enablers to anyone with a mental illness. So now I am much more careful not to encourage it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:44:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2014 12:56:01 GMT
N.B. I got an email from my sickly friend yesterday thanking me for listening all the time and understanding her. She said she has no one else who understands. Ok. Must not judge until I walk a mile in their shoes...
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Post by Crack-a-lackin on Aug 7, 2014 13:23:37 GMT
My family labeled me a hypochondriac. For years I suffered intense abdominal pain. I wound up in the ER several times because I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I knew that they joked about me behind my back and once my dad really hurt my feelings because he told me I needed to stop searching the Internet for new illnesses. He told me I would feel better if I stayed off the Internet. The truth was, I was scouring the Internet looking for answers because the doctors never gave me any! Nine years ago I had a doctor finally listen and actually try to find answers. He was the one who finally saved me. I had a seven pound tumor on the back of my uterus. I had bands of scar tissue (adhesions) attaching it to nearly every surface in my abdomen. It took them nine hours to remove my uterus, ovaries, parts of my bowel and bladder that had been damaged by adhesions that had torn over and over again. I think my family FINALLY believes me now because after my long, complicated recovery I am a completely different person. Suddenly I'm not "lazy" any more. I exercise and can stand for more than ten minutes at a time. I'm wasn't a hypochondriac. It hurt to hear people say that. And NOT ONE of them has apologized for all the years they made fun of me! I'm so sorry you were treated this way. I had a similar experience and it's disheartening when nobody will listen to you and you know damn well it's not all in your head. Thank goodness they found out what was wrong and you were able to recover.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:44:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2014 13:29:05 GMT
I know many hypochondriacs and complainers. IRL, and online.
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Post by Prenticekid on Aug 7, 2014 15:20:42 GMT
Have you ever noticed that people with "real" issues do not whine and complain? Or if complainers do have a real issue, they just won't do what is necessary to help themselves? I'm getting to the point (age?!) where I figure that if I have to listen to you whine about it, you have to listen to me tell you how to fix it. I don't do it because then I'd be "that person." The most miserable people I know who do have actual, but minor, physical ailments literally have the answer at their finger tips but just prefer to be miserable. Most of their maladies could be solved by diet, drinking water, going for a walk and/or going to bed earlier.
And, of course, we are not talking about people who have as of yet undiagnosed issues or just anyone who complains. I'm pretty sure we're all talking about people who whine for no good reason or refused to get proper treatment because they simply want to be miserable and get attention for it - day in, day out, for years on end.
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Post by BeckyTech on Aug 8, 2014 3:16:25 GMT
Sometimes I wonder if friends and family think this about me. You only have to worry if: - Your friends and family have stopped asking how you are; BUT, that doesn't stop you because...
- A simple "Hi" is enough for you to launch into a 20-45-minute detailed monologue of exactly what is wrong with you today, the latest conversation with the nurse, the complete details of your doctor's visit since we last talked, dialog included, (not forgetting to add how weak you were when you barely managed to drive there), and...
- Telling me all about your latest medication complete with every single side effect. Of course you have read the pamphlet in its entirety and are either anticipating or have had at least one of the major side effects, preferably two, after only taking 1 pill. You anticipate the call to the nurse tomorrow. Sometimes you don't even have to take the medication and you know it's not going to work. (The truth is, you don't want to get better.)
- Once you have exhausted the topic of your health (or lack thereof) in blow-by-blow detail, you then launch into other areas of your life. You think the little annoyances we all have to deal with (insurance, bills, grocery store) are of great interest to me because by this time in your life everything is always about you.
- The only other topic of conversation that interests you are other people that are sick. I've never met your Avon lady and I'm sorry her husband is sick, but I'm not really interested in all the details.
- If I'm particularly lucky, you might ask me about myself as an afterthought. I'm only of interest to you as a person with a pulse that you can tell all this to.
So unless you are the person described above, don't worry about it. Actually, if you are the person I'm thinking of, you do have a serious heart health issue and I really do feel bad for you. It sounds very scary.
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theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,423
Jun 26, 2014 12:50:12 GMT
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Post by theshyone on Aug 8, 2014 3:43:13 GMT
Sometimes I wonder if friends and family think this about me. You only have to worry if: - Your friends and family have stopped asking how you are; BUT, that doesn't stop you because...
- A simple "Hi" is enough for you to launch into a 20-45-minute detailed monologue of exactly what is wrong with you today, the latest conversation with the nurse, the complete details of your doctor's visit since we last talked, dialog included, (not forgetting to add how weak you were when you barely managed to drive there), and...
- Telling me all about your latest medication complete with every single side effect. Of course you have read the pamphlet in its entirety and are either anticipating or have had at least one of the major side effects, preferably two, after only taking 1 pill. You anticipate the call to the nurse tomorrow. Sometimes you don't even have to take the medication and you know it's not going to work. (The truth is, you don't want to get better.)
- Once you have exhausted the topic of your health (or lack thereof) in blow-by-blow detail, you then launch into other areas of your life. You think the little annoyances we all have to deal with (insurance, bills, grocery store) are of great interest to me because by this time in your life everything is always about you.
- The only other topic of conversation that interests you are other people that are sick. I've never met your Avon lady and I'm sorry her husband is sick, but I'm not really interested in all the details.
- If I'm particularly lucky, you might ask me about myself as an afterthought. I'm only of interest to you as a person with a pulse that you can tell all this to.
So unless you are the person described above, don't worry about it. Actually, if you are the person I'm thinking of, you do have a serious heart health issue and I really do feel bad for you. It sounds very scary. Thank you, you made me smile.
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stampfox
Shy Member
Posts: 19
Jun 26, 2014 0:49:59 GMT
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Post by stampfox on Aug 8, 2014 8:42:08 GMT
My mother told me once that she thought that I was lazy. At the time I was single, I owned my own home, I drove a later model but not expensive car and I had very stressful well paying career. I finally realized that you don't get to that point in your life by being lazy. I also have not one but several chronic illnesses that are diagnosed by doctors that I take medication for. I am also not a complainer. So I feel your pain about not being believed about your illness, scrapchick. And I am sorry you were treated so badly.
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Post by tracyarts on Aug 8, 2014 13:11:02 GMT
I do know somebody like that and I eventually had to cut her out of my life because she just wanted an audience, not a friend.
The thing is, she does have something genuinely wrong with her, both physically and mentally. But the mental is so tied up with the physical that her entire sense of self revolves around suffering. So, she won't properly address the problems. There is always an excuse why medications and therapies won't work for her, but the reality is that if she followed doctor's orders, then she might actually get well and then who would she be? It's a case of nothing ever changing because it's a big dysfunctional cycle of physical feeding into mental.
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