Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,231
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Sept 15, 2016 0:31:40 GMT
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.
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Post by deshacrafts on Sept 15, 2016 0:42:19 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by lovinlife on Sept 15, 2016 2:49:13 GMT
I'm so sorry. .. hugs
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 15, 2016 3:22:38 GMT
No advice. I truly worried about something happening to my husband when my kids were younger. On a positive note, as a teacher I have met (and loved) kids who have lost a parent and they are truly wonderful, well-adjusted kids. Hugs and prayers to you.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 26, 2024 19:27:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 5:50:05 GMT
My heart breaks for you!
Take your time and don't get drawn into other's drama. Take help when offered.
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,968
Jan 4, 2015 1:47:52 GMT
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Post by AnotherPea on Sept 15, 2016 6:44:54 GMT
no advice, but I wanted to share my condolences too. I'm so sorry.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 26, 2024 19:27:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 6:47:04 GMT
I'm so very sorry.
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Post by KelleeM on Sept 15, 2016 8:28:43 GMT
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. (((Hugs)))
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Post by johna on Sept 15, 2016 9:13:01 GMT
my heart aches for you. I am so sorry for your loss. I have no advice, as I have not been in that situation, but want to offer hugs and a friendly word.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Sept 15, 2016 10:04:13 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss.
Positive thoughts and prayers for you & your son.
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Post by gizzy on Sept 15, 2016 12:40:04 GMT
I am so sorry.
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Post by cakediva on Sept 15, 2016 12:41:35 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your son....
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Post by *sprout* on Sept 15, 2016 13:54:11 GMT
I am so very sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))
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Post by yivit on Sept 15, 2016 14:45:02 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been avoiding this thread because last Friday was 3 years for me. I haven't been handling it very well this year, probably because the 1st anniversary of my dad passing is next week and he took his turn for the worse on the 2nd anniversary of DH's passing.
You've gotten a lot of great advice upthread. Hugs to you, and come here to vent/rant/whatever when you can't to those around you IRL.
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,700
Jun 25, 2014 19:33:19 GMT
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Post by Rhondito on Sept 15, 2016 16:30:03 GMT
I strongly recommend you look into Grief Share. One of the peas recommended it to me. I never wanted to go to a widow's group because I pictured me with a group of old ladies who were still agonizing over their loss decades later. I determined that was NOT going to be me. Grief Share is different. It's a guided program that helps you process different areas of grief. They are just starting new sessions again all over the country. It helped me WORK THROUGH my grief. It helps you understand that what you are feeling is normal. I'm so tired of hearing "new normal". There is no wrong way to grief. Unless of course you want to hurt yourself or someone else. I echo GriefShare! I'm going through their DivorceCare program right now and it has helped so much to talk to people who are going through the same things as you. GriefShareSave
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 26, 2024 19:27:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 20:27:54 GMT
I have no advice because I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. Sending big hugs and condolences on your loss. ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/mYSUyHtG9Jrcmm_ydVcK.jpg)
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caro
Drama Llama
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Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on Sept 15, 2016 21:06:50 GMT
I am so very sorry for your loss. It hurts so much and no one can take that pain away.
Remember people mean well but may say the most stupid, hurtful things to you. They don't really mean it, they just don't know what to say. Forgive them.
I wish you peace and strength.
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Post by peanuttle on Sept 15, 2016 21:33:46 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have any advice to offer, but wanted to send lots of love and hugs to you and your DS.
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texasjen
Junior Member
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Posts: 57
Dec 28, 2015 22:37:49 GMT
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Post by texasjen on Sept 16, 2016 3:43:38 GMT
Thank you so much everyone. I am going to have to come back and look in to all of these links and support groups. DS and I are flying out tomorrow for the 2nd memorial, and I have need to start packing and getting things set up for the cats while we're gone.
For those that have been there before, should I be consulting with a financial advisor, or a tax attorney or something? I have the attorney who made our wills last year (thank goodness we did that), who is a friend, so she is a big help. But there is paperwork I have to fill out for the life insurance policy from my work, and it has really specific questions that I'm not sure about. I'm not even sure who would be best to ask about that kind of thing.
And when I contacted Social Security, they said there are no available appointments for my location. So they are supposed to call me back in the next week...but if they don't, then I'm supposed to call the national number again (and probably be on hold for an hour again). Is that even legit?
I feel like there is so much to get done, yet it's hard to get the emotional and physical energy to deal with it.
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Post by thelmalou on Sept 16, 2016 4:27:48 GMT
So sorry for the loss of your dear husband. Prayers for your family for strength and support. My heart goes out to all who have lost your spouse.
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Post by scrappintoee on Sept 16, 2016 4:30:00 GMT
I'm so, so sorry !!!! Prayers and many ((( hugs )))) !!!
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Post by leftturnonly on Sept 16, 2016 4:31:33 GMT
Thank you so much everyone. I am going to have to come back and look in to all of these links and support groups. DS and I are flying out tomorrow for the 2nd memorial, and I have need to start packing and getting things set up for the cats while we're gone. For those that have been there before, should I be consulting with a financial advisor, or a tax attorney or something? I have the attorney who made our wills last year (thank goodness we did that), who is a friend, so she is a big help. But there is paperwork I have to fill out for the life insurance policy from my work, and it has really specific questions that I'm not sure about. I'm not even sure who would be best to ask about that kind of thing. And when I contacted Social Security, they said there are no available appointments for my location. So they are supposed to call me back in the next week...but if they don't, then I'm supposed to call the national number again (and probably be on hold for an hour again). Is that even legit? I feel like there is so much to get done, yet it's hard to get the emotional and physical energy to deal with it. There should be someone from the insurance company that you can sit down with and talk to. They can be of tremendous help! Ask your HR if they can give you a number to call, or maybe even if they could set an appointment up for you. I went down to my local Social Security and just waited in line. It was a take a number and wait type of thing. I'd check to see if your local one has the same thing available that doesn't require an appointment. May you have peaceful travels. {{{Hugs}}}
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Post by lucyg on Sept 16, 2016 5:10:17 GMT
Thank you so much everyone. I am going to have to come back and look in to all of these links and support groups. DS and I are flying out tomorrow for the 2nd memorial, and I have need to start packing and getting things set up for the cats while we're gone. For those that have been there before, should I be consulting with a financial advisor, or a tax attorney or something? I have the attorney who made our wills last year (thank goodness we did that), who is a friend, so she is a big help. But there is paperwork I have to fill out for the life insurance policy from my work, and it has really specific questions that I'm not sure about. I'm not even sure who would be best to ask about that kind of thing. And when I contacted Social Security, they said there are no available appointments for my location. So they are supposed to call me back in the next week...but if they don't, then I'm supposed to call the national number again (and probably be on hold for an hour again). Is that even legit? I feel like there is so much to get done, yet it's hard to get the emotional and physical energy to deal with it. You may also be able to get an appointment with a different Social Security office in the next town or whatever. I walked into a SS office in another nearby town recently, and they didn't have any appointments available for a couple of months, but were able to give me an appointment much sooner with my local SS office. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg) If there's a knowledgeable HR person or office at your DH's work, they may be able to help you with your insurance questions, or else talk to your lawyer friend. Later on you may want to consult with a financial advisor, but it doesn't need to be right this minute. Good luck at the memorial this weekend.
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Post by jenjie on Sept 16, 2016 11:11:09 GMT
Thank you so much everyone. I am going to have to come back and look in to all of these links and support groups. DS and I are flying out tomorrow for the 2nd memorial, and I have need to start packing and getting things set up for the cats while we're gone. For those that have been there before, should I be consulting with a financial advisor, or a tax attorney or something? I have the attorney who made our wills last year (thank goodness we did that), who is a friend, so she is a big help. But there is paperwork I have to fill out for the life insurance policy from my work, and it has really specific questions that I'm not sure about. I'm not even sure who would be best to ask about that kind of thing. And when I contacted Social Security, they said there are no available appointments for my location. So they are supposed to call me back in the next week...but if they don't, then I'm supposed to call the national number again (and probably be on hold for an hour again). Is that even legit? I feel like there is so much to get done, yet it's hard to get the emotional and physical energy to deal with it. There should be someone from the insurance company that you can sit down with and talk to. They can be of tremendous help! Ask your HR if they can give you a number to call, or maybe even if they could set an appointment up for you. I went down to my local Social Security and just waited in line. It was a take a number and wait type of thing. I'd check to see if your local one has the same thing available that doesn't require an appointment. May you have peaceful travels. {{{Hugs}}} I agree. Just set aside a day and go to the local SS office. Go first thing in the morning. I waited no more than 45 minutes to be seen. They were very helpful. Just make sure you take your documents. Marriage certificate. Death certificate. Dh social security number. HR might be able to help you understand the insurance questions or connect you with someone at the insurance company. Nobody will try to set up an obstacle course to keep you from receiving what you need and have paid for. They want to help you. It is perfectly normal for your brain to turn to mush. It's unnerving but don't let it scare you.
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Post by swtpeasmom on Sept 16, 2016 12:59:44 GMT
I'm so very sorry for your loss.... (((HUGS)))
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Post by grammadee on Sept 16, 2016 16:08:23 GMT
So sad to hear about this. I can't give you any advice, since I have never lost a spouse.
Hang in there. Take it one day or one hour or one minute at a time. Give yourself and others some slack. Often people don't know what to say, so they say the wrong thing or nothing at all. Doesn't always mean they don't want to understand.
And don't be afraid to ask for help when you are feeling overwhelmed. People want to help. They just don't know what they can do for you. This includes child care, yard care, someone to talk to.
As a child, I lost my mother, and my heart goes out to your little boy. Just wanted to let you know that you don't always need to be strong for him. Shared grief is healing. Also, remember that if you are feeling angry, so is he, but maybe not in exactly the same way or at the same time that you are. I remember acting out a lot in the years right after my mom's passing. And he may not always want to talk about his dad, but when he does he really NEEDS to talk.
(((((HUGS)))))) to both of you.
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Post by peano on Sept 16, 2016 16:21:36 GMT
I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your son.
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Post by utpea on Sept 16, 2016 16:59:59 GMT
No advice, but I wanted to say that you are in my thoughts. :big hugs:
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Post by blarneygirl on Sept 16, 2016 17:38:34 GMT
Safe travels to you and your son. I went to the closest SS office and took a number and waited (after calling and learning any details I should know beforehand). It really wasn't too bad. They did require some information and documentation from me, so double check with them to make sure you have it all on hand. If life insurance was through his work, HR should help you with receiving information. From there, you may want assistance from a financial planner, if he had a 401k, a FP can help you with that.
There is a lot to do, but it doesn't all have to be done at once. I did focus on financials first, like social security and life insurance after the funeral. From there, I tried to prioritize things, I also didn't spend all day on it. Often times, one task opens the door to two or more tasks, so it's good to put a time limit on how much of your day you can emotionally spend on closing out your husband's life. It took me probably around a year to take his name off of our bank accounts. Some things I just didn't hurry.
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Post by cade387 on Sept 16, 2016 17:39:25 GMT
I don't have any advice, but I hugs for you and your son.
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