moodyblue
Drama Llama
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Posts: 6,191
Location: Western Illinois
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Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Dec 22, 2016 4:10:38 GMT
I intensely dislike "calm down" and I don't respond well to "smile ... " either. In fact, when I heard another school employee say that to a student, I was pretty vocal in telling him what was wrong with demanding that another person smile because it's what YOU want them to do.
Another one I hate is "if it's meant to be" - like, what, is there someone somewhere determining what's going to happen for everyone, and somehow I'm NOT meant to have the same good things in my life that you are?
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Post by ceepea on Dec 22, 2016 9:18:46 GMT
I hate being told to stop worrying or don't worry about it. If I am worried about something then I am worried about it. Don't tell me not to be, that doesn't help the problem and just pisses me off. Of course they are going to say don't worry about it because it is not their problem to worry about.
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Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Dec 22, 2016 9:52:45 GMT
I hate "awesome" when used by a late middle aged (like me) woman who is trying to sound trendy ( I think she was trying to hold on to her two sons and their friends- long story). "Awesome" also, to me, should not be used several times in an hour about every scrapbook layout, cupcake and so on; it should be reserved for truly spine tingling stuff, like looking up at the night sky ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg) Secondly, when instructing a scrapbook class, many participants found it irritating to be told we were "welcome" to change stuff- so condescending! I agree with the posters here that say "you are welcome" is appropriate after "thank you".
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Post by scrappintoee on Dec 22, 2016 10:56:38 GMT
Ugh, I'll never forget this, it bothered me SO much!! Wayyy back in 1990, my Mom had died. I called my boss the next day to tell him why I couldn't come to work, and he said---- wait for it---- "Wellll....ya gotta do what ya gotta do" ** My MOM just died a few hours ago, and THAT'S YOUR RESPONSE !?!?!? Ugh.....how about a simple "I'm sorry" ....that would've sufficed !!! And if he was a REALLY good boss ( he wasn't).....he could've ALSO said something along the lines of : "I'm sorry, please take a few days and call us to let us know how you're doing. Oh, and in case you didn't know ; all employees get 3 days of bereavement pay, so I'll let Human Resources know." .
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Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Dec 22, 2016 12:00:21 GMT
"Not my circus, not my monkeys." People think they're being so cute and clever, but you're either being totally obvious, OR your hurting the feelings of those who thought they were part of your circus. Lookin' at you, Auntie Roseann, Christmas night, 2014. Off topic (apologies, OP) looking at your avatar, don't think we have seen your contribution on the "Just for a laugh" thread yet... It is 3 pgs so far and requires the use of "bacon" in the words of a christmas song ![](http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r481/2peasrefugees/Smilies/back2topic.gif) ETA: apparently I lied about the back to topic- lesley 's explanation up thread about her country specific peeve (I did not know the correct response- thank you!) has reminded me to ask the Brits what the colloquialism "you're all right" as used in their TV dialogue means- it seems to mean "NO". If I have that right, it's weird!
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Dec 22, 2016 15:15:57 GMT
I've always feel that, "I'll see what I can do" actually means "Go fuck yourself". It's weird...I hate "It is what it is" but I love "We'll see what we see". ^^^I know I've said this one before. What I mean by it isn't even close to go f- yourself... I use "I'll see what I can do" when it's something I'm not sure if I can do, or what to do, or how to do it- so I can't say for sure that I WILL be able to do it, or WHAT I have to do to get it taken care of.
So for me, "I'll see what I can do"
is my simplified response for:
"I'm not sure what it will take for me to do that or even if I CAN do that, but I'll look into the situation and do whatever I think I can to handle it."
ETA: and I always thought 'not my circus, not my monkeys' meant something on the order of "thankfully that's not my problem because I can't do anything about it" or "that's not my issue, thank goodness." Am I wrong in that?
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tincin
Drama Llama
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Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Dec 22, 2016 15:30:23 GMT
Ugh, I'll never forget this, it bothered me SO much!! Wayyy back in 1990, my Mom had died. I called my boss the next day to tell him why I couldn't come to work, and he said---- wait for it---- "Wellll....ya gotta do what ya gotta do" ** My MOM just died a few hours ago, and THAT'S YOUR RESPONSE !?!?!? Ugh.....how about a simple "I'm sorry" ....that would've sufficed !!! And if he was a REALLY good boss ( he wasn't).....he could've ALSO said something along the lines of : "I'm sorry, please take a few days and call us to let us know how you're doing. Oh, and in case you didn't know ; all employees get 3 days of bereavement pay, so I'll let Human Resources know." . What an ass. "Do you need any change?" The new waitstaff mantra and I hate it. Tell me you'll be right back with my change and I'll tell you if I don't need any. Ask me if I "need any change?" and even if I didn't, I do now because your tip just got smaller.
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,664
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Dec 22, 2016 15:49:06 GMT
"I'm tired of all this PC crap" or some statement about being "PC". What the hell does that even mean? Your tired of being nice? Your tried of not hurting someones feelings? Give me an example of "PC crap"
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Post by mymindseyedpea on Dec 22, 2016 15:52:32 GMT
Basically any terms that are aiming for emotional suppression I don't like. All emotions have validity. They are meant to be felt, not ignored or resisted.
There's a great book called: The Language of Emotions. One chapter is about anger and how to express it without exploding or bottling it up.
When people get a little heated up around me I do tell them to breathe and try to work out the feelings they are experiencing instead of saying things that don't support emotional expression like: "You don't have to get angry about it."
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Post by mymindseyedpea on Dec 22, 2016 16:04:07 GMT
"No problem ". I think the phrase you are looking for is "You're welcome". I'm guilty of this. And I'm going to work on this because if I don't say "you're welcome" or something of that nature then I'm not validating and receiving their gratitude but just throwing it back to them. It's my way of saying that I enjoyed doing this favor for them so I should be thanking them for this opportunity.
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Deleted
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Jun 19, 2024 19:12:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2016 16:32:37 GMT
There's this trifecta in Oregon customer service, and my husband and I live for getting all three tics in one exchange with a server, cashier, etc. 1) Saying "perfect" about anything 2) Saying "awesome" about anything 3) Giving us something like the bill (not something like your food or receipt) and saying, "Here's this for ya" Very few people say "thank you" - instead, *you* say, "Thank you!" for your latte at the Dutch Brothers drive through and they shout, "YEAH!" which is everyone's answer to "thank you" here: YEAH! Sometimes it's even a little snippy. YEP. Like the subtext feels like, "Beat it, lady. NEXT!" And no one here does this, but there's a tic of the under-30 crowd, and it's starting off sentences with "I mean". Even if nonsensical. Scene: Oregon diner Me: I'd like the eggs. Them: Perfect. Me: Also may I add a side of bacon? Them: Awesome. Me, later: Thanks. Them: Yeah. Here's this for ya (bill). Me: Do you take American Express? Them: I mean, no. Me: Okay, thanks. Them: YEAH! This isn't even necessarily Portland, but it happens there too. ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png)
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lesley
Drama Llama
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My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,197
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Dec 22, 2016 16:59:45 GMT
Off topic (apologies, OP) looking at your avatar, don't think we have seen your contribution on the "Just for a laugh" thread yet... It is 3 pgs so far and requires the use of "bacon" in the words of a christmas song ![](http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r481/2peasrefugees/Smilies/back2topic.gif) ETA: apparently I lied about the back to topic- lesley 's explanation up thread about her country specific peeve (I did not know the correct response- thank you!) has reminded me to ask the Brits what the colloquialism "you're all right" as used in their TV dialogue means- it seems to mean "NO". If I have that right, it's weird!This made me laugh as you're absolutely right! It can mean 'no', and you're right - it is weird! But it only means 'no' in certain circumstances. "Would you like ice in your drink?" "(No) you're all right." "Take my seat, you look tired." "You're all right, I'm fine standing." So it's kind of about turning down something someone offers you. There might be other situations too, but that's the example that comes to mind first.
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Post by scrapbookdiva on Dec 22, 2016 17:09:22 GMT
One of my fellow managers says "It's far from the heart!" For everything! Drives me batty! If I am informing you about a new procedure in the office or perhaps a mistake that was made in your department, you might not want to dismiss my concerns with your condescending response, basically saying you don't give a rats ass. It might be close to the heart when I punch you in the chest!!!
This post may have touched a nerve. No worries. I should probably just calm down. Lol!! 😏
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Dec 22, 2016 17:13:32 GMT
I don't think I've even heard that expression before... 'far from the heart' What does it even mean? (it sure sounds like it would be the opposite of 'close to my heart' but that can't possibly be it, can it?)
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Post by scrapbookdiva on Dec 22, 2016 17:20:08 GMT
I don't think I've even heard that expression before... 'far from the heart' What does it even mean? (it sure sounds like it would be the opposite of 'close to my heart' but that can't possibly be it, can it?) I think that's exactly what it means. I had never heard it before until I started working with him. My my dh said it once a few months ago. He won't be saying THAT again! Lol
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
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Post by M in Carolina on Dec 22, 2016 18:30:45 GMT
The tone of voice means everything for so many of these expressions. I've discovered that so many people aren't comfortable with vulnerability--someone else's most of the time and then with their own. If you cry or anything, they rush to get away, spouting stupid sayings like "everything happens for a reason". I do believe that, but it is NOT HELPFUL when someone is hurting. It's like a punch to the gut. Especially when the grieving person is really upset and someone tells them that their dead loved one "wouldn't want them to be sad", etc. and "your faith just has to be stronger" <--especially when that comment comes from someone who's never experienced the grief of losing someone close to them. (and no offense to a pet parent, but you losing your pet isn't the same as losing your dad who also took the role of your mom) People need to process what's going on in their own way. Let people talk about their circumstances--whether it's a loss or a medical problem, etc. pjaye is so right-- I *hate* being told that what I'm dealing with isn't a big deal. You don't know what it's like to be seriously ill. I especially hate it when people think that someone is exaggerating for sympathy. The way the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" treated Yolanda Hadid (she's dropped the Foster now) was horrible. Yolanda has done sooo much for 'invisible illnesses' especially Lyme. Her high profile and persistence made a lot of doctors stop denying Lyme even exists. Their reactions to all of her treatments was really calloused. Yeah, it might seem like a lot to *you*, but until you know what it feels like to be that sick everyday, then keep your opinions to yourself. She has the money, so why not try stuff? Especially since she's not just doing it for *her*. The treatments that do work on her will probably help her children, too.
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Deleted
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Jun 19, 2024 19:12:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2016 18:46:36 GMT
I've always feel that, "I'll see what I can do" actually means "Go fuck yourself". It's weird...I hate "It is what it is" but I love "We'll see what we see". You know, this thread makes me think communication among people is impossible. "I'll see what I can do" means just that. I've been asked to do something that is outside of my experience/knowledge base or may not be possible for a variety of reasons. I am not going to say "I'll do it" when it just might not be possible to do. If I want to tell you to go fuck yourself I'll say it. I'm not going to waste time/energy trying to figure out a solution to whatever issue caused me to say "I'll see what I can do"
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Deleted
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Jun 19, 2024 19:12:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2016 18:49:04 GMT
I've always feel that, "I'll see what I can do" actually means "Go fuck yourself". It's weird...I hate "It is what it is" but I love "We'll see what we see". ^^^I know I've said this one before. What I mean by it isn't even close to go f- yourself... I use "I'll see what I can do" when it's something I'm not sure if I can do, or what to do, or how to do it- so I can't say for sure that I WILL be able to do it, or WHAT I have to do to get it taken care of.
So for me, "I'll see what I can do"
is my simplified response for:
"I'm not sure what it will take for me to do that or even if I CAN do that, but I'll look into the situation and do whatever I think I can to handle it."
ETA: and I always thought 'not my circus, not my monkeys' meant something on the order of "thankfully that's not my problem because I can't do anything about it" or "that's not my issue, thank goodness." Am I wrong in that?
That is what I thought "Not my circus.... " meant too. And I agree with you on what "I"ll see what I can do" means too.
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