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Post by leftturnonly on Dec 26, 2016 22:54:42 GMT
We've had multiple conversations about us being single- me asking him outright multiple times. To me, that sounds like you weren't absolutely positive that he was as available for a relationship as he claimed he was. I think the girlfriend needs to know before going through with buying the house. What a burden if she didn't find out until after they've been in the house! What if they weren't able to sell it in a timely manner? What a headache! Buying a house is an enormous commitment. At the very least, she needs to be warned ASAP. These days I think that before you (not you specifically OP) tell someone about this kind of thing you have to decide if you (the global you) want to tell because you (again the global you) genuinely want the person to know, or if it is because you want to assuage your own guilt (of knowing about it, participating in it.) I think that intent is really important because the likelihood of someone really believing the message is slim. I'm a complete stranger to all parties involved. My motive is to do something to warn someone else that the road ahead has been washed out before they drive off the edge. msbtastic - I'm sorry this guy was a jerk to you, but honestly, you seem like you are handling that part OK. You hadn't committed to him and it feels like you will be able to move on. But, how will you look yourself in the mirror knowing that you could be the woman buying a HOUSE with him at this moment and not knowing that he was sleeping with all of these other women at the time he should be most interested in you? I'd be very blunt with this woman. "I had a relationship with him and have been dating him again during these past 6 months. I just found out about you, and so-and-so, and so-and-so, and so-and-so, and that he's been sending dick-pics to others here at work. These are just the ones I know about, since we all work together. I understand that you might not believe me, and that's OK. When I heard that you were buying a house with him, I knew I had to tell you ASAP because this is a real hazard that you should be warned about. This is a one-time warning; I won't bother you again." Signed, I'm thankful it isn't me. |
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Post by leftturnonly on Dec 26, 2016 23:03:50 GMT
he told me that he was single and he wasn't My definition of single is someone not married so he didn't lie to you. I went out with a guy who told me he was divorced. Then, he told me he had just that day received his separation papers from his wife and that now, he was divorced. No, stupid man. You are married.  I'm just glad that I wasn't emotionally involved and hadn't benefited from his brand of crazy. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2016 23:07:58 GMT
Hi everyone and merry Christmas!!!! I need some advice from a diverse group of women. I've been friends with benefits a guy for about 6 months. We were previously together for about a year. The relationship didn't go too well because he had 2 jobs, there was nothing negative besides that. After we broke it off we continued to be friends. This summer he initiated the "benefits" portion of our friendship. We talked to each other very often, went out sometimes, stayed at each other's homes, etc. He comes to see me daily when we're at work. We've had multiple conversations about us being single- me asking him outright multiple times. He was just telling me that he thought he might be ready for a relationship, implying often that it'd be with me. I had no reason not to trust him based on our previous relationship. Well, I just found out from a co-worker that he just bought a house with his girlfriend . Not only that, but he's been sleeping with another at the job and sending unsolicited nudes to others that we work with. While I'm very hurt, I am not angry or interested in revenge, especially since we all, except his girlfriend, work together.. I don't know how long he's been with the girlfriend. Should I find a way to tell her? Or should I just let her find out on her own like I did? I have no evidence because I deleted everything involving him when I found out that he's been playing a large group of women (I also found out he cheated on me with a different co-worker when we were dating). I don't want to tell her because I just want to move on and because I don't know her. I also remember being cheated on and how upsetting it was that no one warned me when they found out they were the other woman. What would you do? A "Friend with benefits" is a non-committed relationship. I don't see how he cheated on you, or on any other woman. He has made no commitment to any of them apparently. He is a "friend with benefits" to many women. I"m not sure what you are hurt about. While you discussed being single you never seemed to have discusses being an exclusive pair. Being single means playing the field with everyone is still ok. Next time you get in a sexual relationship you really need to think of what you are wanting... just sex that night or an exclusive relationship. As for the gf he is buying a house with, I don't know what I'd do to be honest. I certainly wouldn't say he was a cheater because casual sex among non committed people is NOT cheating. If I knew her well enough for the conversation about their house buying to come up casually I might tell her she needs to check to see if he is committed to her alone and let her know how recently he has been a player. |
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Post by leftturnonly on Dec 26, 2016 23:13:16 GMT
My previous post probably came off bitchy, but I'm just saying that in that my experience with men they don't play games. They're pretty logical. If they tell you something (IE: I'm single) they mean it, usually. Do you really believe this? That is awfully naive of you. Also, he obviously wasn't telling the truth when he told her he was single, so I can't even make out your point here. Men love games. |
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Post by cindyupnorth on Dec 26, 2016 23:40:23 GMT
A "Friend with benefits" is a non-committed relationship. I don't see how he cheated on you, or on any other woman. He has made no commitment to any of them apparently. He is a "friend with benefits" to many women. I"m not sure what you are hurt about. While you discussed being single you never seemed to have discusses being an exclusive pair. Being single means playing the field with everyone is still ok. Next time you get in a sexual relationship you really need to think of what you are wanting... just sex that night or an exclusive relationship. As for the gf he is buying a house with, I don't know what I'd do to be honest. I certainly wouldn't say he was a cheater because casual sex among non committed people is NOT cheating. If I knew her well enough for the conversation about their house buying to come up casually I might tell her she needs to check to see if he is committed to her alone and let her know how recently he has been a player. WTH? NO!!!! so men can sleep with numerous women, who he has TOLD he is single, but that's not cheating, because he never told them he was committed?? WTH? NO!! The only way he did NOT cheat is if he TOLD said GF that he was doing all of this, and she was totally ok with it. While I guess that may happen, I doubt it. |
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Post by 950nancy on Dec 27, 2016 0:12:38 GMT
I agree with cindyupnorth. I think women are more cautious about things and don't want to cause a stink or get into any problems at work. I think some men rely on females to act this way so that they can do what they please fully believing we won't be strong enough (or whatever we feel) to act on a male's behavior that that will cause STDs or financial hardships. If this woman buying the house was your sister, what would you want the OP to do? I feel like ladies need to step up and do the right thing. It can be done quietly. The woman needs to make the decision about the house after she has all of her information. |
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Post by cindyupnorth on Dec 27, 2016 0:24:05 GMT
Thank you Nancy! Finally a voice of reason! I don't know HOW any woman working there would be worried about her job. This is 2016/17. Men can NOT do this anymore. Why would anyone purposely not tell someone else that this is happening? esp if her health, future, and finances are involved? I don't know how someone could live without guilt knowing.
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Post by secondlife on Dec 27, 2016 0:24:26 GMT
Hi everyone and merry Christmas!!!! I need some advice from a diverse group of women. I've been friends with benefits a guy for about 6 months. We were previously together for about a year. The relationship didn't go too well because he had 2 jobs, there was nothing negative besides that. After we broke it off we continued to be friends. This summer he initiated the "benefits" portion of our friendship. We talked to each other very often, went out sometimes, stayed at each other's homes, etc. He comes to see me daily when we're at work. We've had multiple conversations about us being single- me asking him outright multiple times. He was just telling me that he thought he might be ready for a relationship, implying often that it'd be with me. I had no reason not to trust him based on our previous relationship. Well, I just found out from a co-worker that he just bought a house with his girlfriend . Not only that, but he's been sleeping with another at the job and sending unsolicited nudes to others that we work with. While I'm very hurt, I am not angry or interested in revenge, especially since we all, except his girlfriend, work together.. I don't know how long he's been with the girlfriend. Should I find a way to tell her? Or should I just let her find out on her own like I did? I have no evidence because I deleted everything involving him when I found out that he's been playing a large group of women (I also found out he cheated on me with a different co-worker when we were dating). I don't want to tell her because I just want to move on and because I don't know her. I also remember being cheated on and how upsetting it was that no one warned me when they found out they were the other woman. What would you do? A "Friend with benefits" is a non-committed relationship. I don't see how he cheated on you, or on any other woman. He has made no commitment to any of them apparently. He is a "friend with benefits" to many women. I"m not sure what you are hurt about. While you discussed being single you never seemed to have discusses being an exclusive pair. Being single means playing the field with everyone is still ok. Next time you get in a sexual relationship you really need to think of what you are wanting... just sex that night or an exclusive relationship. As for the gf he is buying a house with, I don't know what I'd do to be honest. I certainly wouldn't say he was a cheater because casual sex among non committed people is NOT cheating. If I knew her well enough for the conversation about their house buying to come up casually I might tell her she needs to check to see if he is committed to her alone and let her know how recently he has been a player. I think the problem I would have is not myself feeling particularly betrayed, in that a FWB arrangement is hardly an exclusive arrangement, but I think the problem I certainly would have is with the idea that perhaps he had not presented himself as what he actually was. A person who is buying a house with a girlfriend is not unattached. Unmarried is not the same as unattached. I'm imagining that most ladies who are buying a house with a man are probably not doing so considering themselves unattached. If that girlfriend has cause to think she is more than FWB, then that constitutes cheating in my opinion - just because the OP wasn't in a position to consider herself cheated on doesn't make this guy's behavior morally licit. |
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Post by annabella on Dec 27, 2016 0:45:08 GMT
While his girlfriend doesn't work with me, his mistress harem does. I didn't think about him dogging me at work. That brings up the possibility of someone, including me, being fired if this goes south. Who knew a group of women getting together to scrap would lead to this? What line of work are you in? Why would you get fired unless you cause a scene? You should look for a new job because working with all of them will just be uncomfortable. I would calmly approach the woman and say "I heard you and x bought house together" and when she answers in the affirmative, again calmly tell her that you have been sleeping with him for the last six months and he slept with Y as well. Then say "I guess we should all go get tested for HIV" to really break it down for her. |
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Dec 27, 2016 1:14:24 GMT
If I were about to sign real estate mortgage papers, I would want to know that the guy I was signing them with was a cheater. That's a pretty big investment to find out a few weeks later she's been played.
I would be absolutely mortified, would tell her (and apologize even though I was kept in the dark), and find another job.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Dec 27, 2016 1:15:11 GMT
What line of work are you in? Why would you get fired unless you cause a scene? You should look for a new job because working with all of them will just be uncomfortable. The only person who should feel uncomfortable with this, and should be looking for another job is the MAN. NOT the women. They did nothing wrong. Unless they were married, or in other committed relationships. Again, this is 2016/17. Women should not be shamed for having a relationship with someone they thought was single. |
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,974 
Location: NW PA
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Post by Judy26 on Dec 27, 2016 1:23:22 GMT
I'd get all of the other women involved together and then show up at manwhore's house with a housewarming present ... a huge framed picture of manwhore's oft photographed dick. I'd have said life size but....
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Dec 27, 2016 1:50:31 GMT
Hi everyone and merry Christmas!!!! I need some advice from a diverse group of women. I've been friends with benefits a guy for about 6 months. We were previously together for about a year. The relationship didn't go too well because he had 2 jobs, there was nothing negative besides that. After we broke it off we continued to be friends. This summer he initiated the "benefits" portion of our friendship. We talked to each other very often, went out sometimes, stayed at each other's homes, etc. He comes to see me daily when we're at work. We've had multiple conversations about us being single- me asking him outright multiple times. He was just telling me that he thought he might be ready for a relationship, implying often that it'd be with me. I had no reason not to trust him based on our previous relationship. Well, I just found out from a co-worker that he just bought a house with his girlfriend . Not only that, but he's been sleeping with another at the job and sending unsolicited nudes to others that we work with. While I'm very hurt, I am not angry or interested in revenge, especially since we all, except his girlfriend, work together.. I don't know how long he's been with the girlfriend. Should I find a way to tell her? Or should I just let her find out on her own like I did? I have no evidence because I deleted everything involving him when I found out that he's been playing a large group of women (I also found out he cheated on me with a different co-worker when we were dating). I don't want to tell her because I just want to move on and because I don't know her. I also remember being cheated on and how upsetting it was that no one warned me when they found out they were the other woman. What would you do? Before I read the other answers, I will tell you that I would tell her. If for no other reason, the both of you need to be tested for STIs. You have been with everyone he has been with and everyone they have been with and so forth. You've been exposed to any disease they may have. Although you don't owe her a thing, she is also a victim of his. She may not listen but at least you will have done the right thing. When I found out my XH was cheating on me, I called his GF's now XH. He had no idea she was having an affair with my XH. I told him that although I had never been with anyone but my XH since we had gotten married, I had no idea who else he had been with since he obviously was not trust worthy. I got tested and luckily was not infected with anything. He, GF's now XH, later called me back to thank me for giving him a head's up. SaveI think this bears repeating. My conscience would not let me not tell. I'm sorry what an awful situation. |
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Dec 27, 2016 1:56:06 GMT
I agree with cindyupnorth. I think women are more cautious about things and don't want to cause a stink or get into any problems at work. I think some men rely on females to act this way so that they can do what they please fully believing we won't be strong enough (or whatever we feel) to act on a male's behavior that that will cause STDs or financial hardships. If this woman buying the house was your sister, what would you want the OP to do? I feel like ladies need to step up and do the right thing. It can be done quietly. The woman needs to make the decision about the house after she has all of her information. I advised the OP to consider her career and to let this go quietly. It has nothing to do with "allowing men to do what they please" or not caring about other women. This was a consensual relationship. If these two were breaking company policy by engaging in it, they will both suffer professional repercussions. If his behavior didn't rise (or sink?) to a level that warranted HR involvement before this, what would OP gain by going to them now? I mentioned a friend who went through a similar situation. (In her case, I think she willfully blinded herself to his relationship status, but that's another story.) In any cas, when she discovered that he was married, she went nuclear on him. They weren't at work when this happened. She called his wife, she called his other girlfriend and she let him have it. This guy is a pure sociopath. He had always used company policy as a reason for secrecy. He Had been telling coworkers that my friend was pursuing him, that she was crazy, etc. basically, hedging his bets in case things ever blew up in his face. OP, it is never a good idea to become involved with a coworker. My friend's reputation was ruined and she ultimately was so miserable that she found a new job. The wife stayed with the cheater (she told my friend something to the effect that she wasn't the first and probably not the last.) |
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Post by alexa11 on Dec 27, 2016 1:58:26 GMT
No- I wouldn't tell, either. Too much drama to entangle yourself with- let it go.
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Post by stampnscrap1128 on Dec 27, 2016 2:15:37 GMT
If you do test positive for any STD, please tell the other women. This isn't just a moral issue, this is a serious health issue.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Dec 27, 2016 2:18:01 GMT
This was a consensual relationship. If these two were breaking company policy by engaging in it, they will both suffer professional repercussions. If his behavior didn't rise (or sink?) to a level that warranted HR involvement before this, what would OP gain by going to them now? What company policy is written these days that prevents dating? unless they are doing it on the desk during work, I think she's good. To say you won't get involved because of too much drama, or to let it go, is just morally wrong. So another woman's life is ok to just let go, throw away? |
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Dec 27, 2016 2:21:26 GMT
This was a consensual relationship. If these two were breaking company policy by engaging in it, they will both suffer professional repercussions. If his behavior didn't rise (or sink?) to a level that warranted HR involvement before this, what would OP gain by going to them now? What company policy is written these days that prevents dating? unless they are doing it on the desk during work, I think she's good. To say you won't get involved because of too much drama, or to let it go, is just morally wrong. So another woman's life is ok to just let go, throw away? Um...yes, most companies prohibit fraternization between employees. Precisely to prevent situations like this. It becomes even more complicated if either of the parties is a superior to the other. It's great that you consider yourself morally superior to those of us who would let this sleeping dog lie. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2016 2:23:51 GMT
How is the OP supposed to tell the GF? She said the GF doesn't work with them and up until her coworker told her about the GF, she had no idea this person existed. The OP could possibly encourage the coworker to tell the GF since that person seems to know everything. Also, the OP has no confirmation that any of this is true. She's not been back to clarify how the coworker knows any of this and why the coworker told her (did she know the OP had a relationship with the man? was this just office gossip?) Depending on the situation, the OP could be in trouble at work -- is one of them a superior to the other? Could one of them claim a hostile work environment? OP, continuing any sort of personal relationship with this man is unwise. If what your coworker told you is true, it's obvious why. If what she told you isn't true, she's got some ulterior motive to want you to believe it is, and that's going to lead to trouble personally and professionally.
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Post by 950nancy on Dec 27, 2016 2:50:12 GMT
I agree with cindyupnorth . I think women are more cautious about things and don't want to cause a stink or get into any problems at work. I think some men rely on females to act this way so that they can do what they please fully believing we won't be strong enough (or whatever we feel) to act on a male's behavior that that will cause STDs or financial hardships. If this woman buying the house was your sister, what would you want the OP to do? I feel like ladies need to step up and do the right thing. It can be done quietly. The woman needs to make the decision about the house after she has all of her information. I advised the OP to consider her career and to let this go quietly. It has nothing to do with "allowing men to do what they please" or not caring about other women. This was a consensual relationship. If these two were breaking company policy by engaging in it, they will both suffer professional repercussions. If his behavior didn't rise (or sink?) to a level that warranted HR involvement before this, what would OP gain by going to them now? I mentioned a friend who went through a similar situation. (In her case, I think she willfully blinded herself to his relationship status, but that's another story.) In any cas, when she discovered that he was married, she went nuclear on him. They weren't at work when this happened. She called his wife, she called his other girlfriend and she let him have it. This guy is a pure sociopath. He had always used company policy as a reason for secrecy. He Had been telling coworkers that my friend was pursuing him, that she was crazy, etc. basically, hedging his bets in case things ever blew up in his face. OP, it is never a good idea to become involved with a coworker. My friend's reputation was ruined and she ultimately was so miserable that she found a new job. The wife stayed with the cheater (she told my friend something to the effect that she wasn't the first and probably not the last.) I know each story is different, but I wish women would look out for each other more. My best friend had her husband's lover show up at work. It was handled quietly and then my friend knew what she was dealing with. I am glad the woman showed up even though it was tough for my friend. I do stand by my views of men believing they can get away with it- because they do. My friend's husband was shocked the other woman showed up and admitted he thought it would be easy to get away with. Each person has to look at their own situation and make a decision. I would tell. I have a very strong girl code. |
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Post by cindyupnorth on Dec 27, 2016 2:58:18 GMT
Um...yes, most companies prohibit fraternization between employees. Precisely to prevent situations like this. It becomes even more complicated if either of the parties is a superior to the other. Again, I don't really think there are fraternizing polices out there these days. YES, there is the one's of a superior asking for favors and the such, BUT NOT dating ones. Hell, I work with 4 married couples, that met at work!! I didn't say I was morally superior, I agree with what Nancy wrote. That we as women should look out for each other. How would you feel if your SO was doing this to you? and someone didn't care enough to tell you, that you could be finically and health wise ruined? That they just walked away. |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:02:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2016 3:03:02 GMT
What company policy is written these days that prevents dating? unless they are doing it on the desk during work, I think she's good. To say you won't get involved because of too much drama, or to let it go, is just morally wrong. So another woman's life is ok to just let go, throw away? Um...yes, most companies prohibit fraternization between employees. Precisely to prevent situations like this. It becomes even more complicated if either of the parties is a superior to the other. It's great that you consider yourself morally superior to those of us who would let this sleeping dog lie. I can pretty much bet that Cindyupnorth doesn't work in HR..... Most companies prohibit fraternization between employees on some basic level (especially between superiors and subordinates). Some go further than than...Some companies also won't allow two spouses to work together, either in the same department OR the same company.
It might be 2016/17 but employers are still looking out for their own liability. And relationships in the office create drama and liability -- even if they sign consensual agreements in the beginning and claim it will stay out of the office. It rarely does. And it only gets worse if one is married or in a committed relationship and cheating.
My best advice is to not date coworkers. If you want to that bad, one of you should change jobs first or handle it totally outside the office. Kind of puts it in perspective... are you willing to go to that length so that you could date a coworker? I did have one couple date secretly and got married and then told everyone at work. It shocked us all! But there was no drama, they continued working for the HR consulting firm, but were in different departments, so all was well.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2016 3:07:22 GMT
Um...yes, most companies prohibit fraternization between employees. Precisely to prevent situations like this. It becomes even more complicated if either of the parties is a superior to the other. Again, I don't really think there are fraternizing polices out there these days. YES, there is the one's of a superior asking for favors and the such, BUT NOT dating ones. Hell, I work with 4 married couples, that met at work!! I didn't say I was morally superior, I agree with what Nancy wrote. That we as women should look out for each other. How would you feel if your SO was doing this to you? and someone didn't care enough to tell you, that you could be finically and health wise ruined? That they just walked away. Some of us have very different personal beliefs...My personal beliefs are that I wouldn't buy a house with someone I wasn't married to. My personal belief is that I've never had a "Friend with benefits". My personal belief is I don't date or mess with coworkers at all -- I don't go to lunch with married men alone, etc. I would have different advice if this were a DH. But honestly none of these ladies has a true commitment from this guy, not even the one buying a house with him.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Dec 27, 2016 3:10:32 GMT
Um...yes, most companies prohibit fraternization between employees. Precisely to prevent situations like this. It becomes even more complicated if either of the parties is a superior to the other. Again, I don't really think there are fraternizing polices out there these days. YES, there is the one's of a superior asking for favors and the such, BUT NOT dating ones. Hell, I work with 4 married couples, that met at work!! I didn't say I was morally superior, I agree with what Nancy wrote. That we as women should look out for each other. How would you feel if your SO was doing this to you? and someone didn't care enough to tell you, that you could be finically and health wise ruined? That they just walked away. Well, you are wholly incorrect in your assumption. Most employers do have these policies in place. No offense, but I get the impression that you haven't been in the corporate world for quite some time. I was an HR professional until I switched gears and started my own business. Every company I ever worked for had rules against fraternization. Legally, a business is at a huge liability if they don't have these policies in place. |
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Post by 950nancy on Dec 27, 2016 3:51:13 GMT
Um...yes, most companies prohibit fraternization between employees. Precisely to prevent situations like this. It becomes even more complicated if either of the parties is a superior to the other. It's great that you consider yourself morally superior to those of us who would let this sleeping dog lie. I can pretty much bet that Cindyupnorth doesn't work in HR..... Most companies prohibit fraternization between employees on some basic level (especially between superiors and subordinates). Some go further than than...Some companies also won't allow two spouses to work together, either in the same department OR the same company.
It might be 2016/17 but employers are still looking out for their own liability. And relationships in the office create drama and liability -- even if they sign consensual agreements in the beginning and claim it will stay out of the office. It rarely does. And it only gets worse if one is married or in a committed relationship and cheating.
My best advice is to not date coworkers. If you want to that bad, one of you should change jobs first or handle it totally outside the office. Kind of puts it in perspective... are you willing to go to that length so that you could date a coworker? I did have one couple date secretly and got married and then told everyone at work. It shocked us all! But there was no drama, they continued working for the HR consulting firm, but were in different departments, so all was well.
I know I am one tiny example, but I just finished signing 16 different forms today to work in my current office in a new position. It took me two hours to read through the paperwork. There are many things I cannot do, but date a coworker was not one of them. In my previous job as a teacher, that was never an expectation either. Lots of couples met in our district and even worked in the same building. Only dating a boss was a no no. |
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msbtastic
Shy Member
Posts: 22
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Post by msbtastic on Dec 27, 2016 5:17:54 GMT
So many more responses. Wow! Many of you gave me great ideas. I have already Facebook stalked the girlfriend so that I could be prepared when/if I tell her. Her page is private, but I found out that she owns a construction company. There is a high possibility that his motives for being with her or more financial than emotional-we work in public service- not enough for the type of house they got. Also, not my business. Unfortunately, they already bought the house and already moved in. I guess when he was moving our friendship to the "next level", they were already searching.
The friend that told me is a co-worker whose office is next to his on the other side of the building. She was shocked and angry to find out that we have been casually "dating" this whole time. He told her that that I like his new girlfriend, so she never thought to tell me. She also told me about the nudes, I guess a co-worker told her about it not long ago, but he seemed like such a good guy she didn't believe it until she found out about me. Another co-worker/friend added what she was told by one of our superiors -that he was messing with her. Essentially, we all had a piece of the story based on who we talk to more often at work.
There is no fraternization policy, except with those in higher positions. We have multiple married couples, one with rooms next door to one another. From what I found out, he already had it out with the superior he was sleeping with and he manipulated the situation in a way that she looked crazy and had to be called in. While we don't have a policy, we have to maintain a positive image or be let go.
I have a week until I go back to work. I have no idea what will happen or what he's going to do because I blocked him on everything. There are multiple people mad at him other than me because he included them in his machinations. While I feel guilty for being a part of this, if I tell her, it would be because I would want a woman to tell me. What she does with the info would be on her, but at least she'd be more aware (if she isn't already). Unfortunately, it might not be the right thing for me to do because of my job. At this point, I'm thinking to either get someone else to tell or perhaps do it anonymously, depending on what happens.
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Post by leftturnonly on Dec 27, 2016 5:41:42 GMT
Unfortunately, it might not be the right thing for me to do because of my job. At this point, I'm thinking to either get someone else to tell or perhaps do it anonymously, depending on what happens. There's nothing wrong with telling her anonymously. But if you do, leave out the part about dating him, then not, then dating him again so it's not obvious (to him) who you are. I would not assume that she has any inkling what she is in for. Poor woman. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 20:02:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2016 6:42:48 GMT
The legality of workplace fraternization policies varies by state. That's why some have them and some dont.
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Post by mollycoddle on Dec 27, 2016 10:52:07 GMT
I would encourage the woman who told you to say something. I would not personally say anything, as it would almost undoubtedly turn ugly very quickly. Stay as far away from him as you can.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,687
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Dec 27, 2016 14:01:41 GMT
I'd be very blunt with this woman. "I had a relationship with him and have been dating him again during these past 6 months. I just found out about you, and so-and-so, and so-and-so, and so-and-so, and that he's been sending dick-pics to others here at work. These are just the ones I know about, since we all work together. I understand that you might not believe me, and that's OK. When I heard that you were buying a house with him, I knew I had to tell you ASAP because this is a real hazard that you should be warned about. This is a one-time warning; I won't bother you again." Signed, I'm thankful it isn't me. This was kinda my line of thinking as well though I'd probably keep it all phrased as "rumor". "So, I hear you're getting serious with dickhead. Just thought I'd give you a heads up that we'd been sleeping together (not dating since you really weren't) for the last 6 months. I had no idea about you and broke it off as soon as I found out. Rumor has it that he was with a few other women as well. If it were me I'd want to know so I wanted to tell you." Short, sweet and factual (the only person you know for certain was sleeping with him is you plus the others might rather wash their hands of the situation and move on). You can do it anonymously. |
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