Do you have teenagers? Do they have computers? Smart phones?

I'm sorry - that must have been a difficult discovery.

My teen has a dumb phone (and is fine with that), an ipod touch (ancient handmedown) and a laptop. We've talked about dangers and being smart. She did a Netiquette badge with Girl Scouts in middle school that talked about dangers and being smart. But in the end, she's going to use technology and she's going to make mistakes - all we can do is educate her the best we can and be there to help pick up the pieces.

The world is a media world today, if you don't allow them some way to learn how to deal with it while they are still yours and you can guide them then you throw them out there at 18 semi unprepared. 

In my generation we slept in the back yard in the summer to sneak down to the river at night to swim (NOT skinny dip ) Every generation of teens will try to slip something past their parents and then 'gloat' when they think they are successful. All you can do is inform them of the dangers, educate them how to protect themselves and repeat until they go out into the world on their own. 

The school is now requiring (and providing)  them all to have laptops now (and it has a camera )  My kids have their post it notes all ready to plop on the camera. LOL. In fact my DS wants to refuse to use the school lap top at home and we said go ahead, way easier to monitor the personal laptop that we installed monitoring stuff on. They are both leery over keeping a school laptop in their rooms after that problem that happened in the pennsylvania school district. It was one story I made sure the knew about for their own protection I sort of am happy that they listened. My DD will be getting several lessons this year on media devices and room mates in college. (AKA the rutgers issue ) and what ways she can protect herself.  

The fact is that so much less of the world is actually really private and they have to understand that fact and actively protect themselves. 

My kids have neither yet... But I know it's coming. The computer they use stays downstairs in the kitchen. They really only use it for school work. They both have "dumb" phones and an itouch. I try to monitor as best as I can. It scares me the crap they can access and do.

That's scary to discover so much was going on that you didn't know about, but be careful you don't go overboard restricting your son as a result. He needs to learn how to use the internet.

I've made mistakes with my dd and technology (letting her have pretty much full access in her room at all hours) because she's a good kid and kept her grades up. I did later find out she had several friends who would text her all night long. I don't want to even think about the things I don't know.

The problem I encountered when my daughters lived at home is the lack of awareness with whom they are hanging with or making plans with. It used to be that there was a phone in the kitchen that you would answer and knew who was calling. Even if they had another phone to talk on, you at least knew who their friends were. Now they can be making plans with lots of people, and you are clueless as to who these kids are.

Teens will be teens. They will experiment, and push the limits, and have to learn on their own. It's our job as parents to educate them. They are still going to make mistakes, and screw up. Isn't that part of growing up? Hopefully nothing that will endanger their lives though. Well, haven't we all as teens done something like that also?
We do our best as parents. I know here on 2Ps esp, there is always that perception that everyone's kids on here are perfect. Straight A, top of the class, whatever. We all just never know.

This advice is great. Be informed, and communicate with your kids. 

The "Rutgers" issue refers to Tyler Clementi's suicide after his roommate used a web cam on a computer to record him kissing another man, then posted the video.

I believe by the "Pennsylvania" comment she's referring to the lawsuits regarding the activation of built-in cameras on school-issued laptops.

www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2386599,00.asp

The whole adage kids will be kids is crap.
Why do they need a smartphone or a personal laptop. We all survived without one.
My 16 year old has a regular phone with texting. She has to put it up in our room at 10:30. Laptop use is in the kitchen/ living room. If she uses it in her room door is open.
She know if she deletes txts we take texting off. No negotiations , she knows the rules if she breaks them she looses the PRIVILGE.
Parents are ao worried about what a kid wants not what a kid needs. Sticking your nose in a smartphone or laptop is hurting our youth.
Let kids have human contact an technology in limited amounts.
Off my soap box.

DS's friend had his iPod touch taken away last year over inappropriate chats and arranging to meet girls. An iPod touch and WiFi = a computer. The story he told his friends about why it was taken away was very different from what the mom told me. This friend also started to voice "text" our home phone and DS's cell after he lost the touch. His parents thought they were staying away from trouble by not letting him have a phone. A computer savy kid is going to find a way.

We don't have our heads in the sand, but talk to our kids, educate them (and us) and hope our parenting is successful.

Stupid things that we did as teens are long forgotten, stupid things that are being done today could haunt them for a long time.

I do a lot of what you say re: how technology is used. Phones/ipads are charged in a common location and off at 10, no tv/computer in rooms without doors open and primary use is at the bar in the kitchen, no phones out while food is being consumed...

But at the same time, I recognize that times have changed. The same technology that I am concerned about is the way of the world now. The schools heavily use technology, ours issues ipads to all the students and requires a significant amount of their work to be done on and submitted on their ipads. They use their phones to communicate with their friends, not unlike we did as teens on the corded phones of our youth.

The key, like in all things, is balance. Rules are fine, total bans are not. Knowledge of what is available to our kids is vital. The more you know about what is happening in the world of technology, the more you can talk to your kids about what they are doing *with* the technology. The fact, whether we agree or not, is that the technology is here to stay. We have to learn to live with it and understand how best to use it, and how best to teach our kids how to safely navigate their way through it.