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Post by 950nancy on Aug 19, 2014 0:49:03 GMT
My friend always says it best, "Why would I want to raise another husband?" To each his own. Lots of people are unhappily married. Do you.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 9, 2024 20:25:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2014 0:54:23 GMT
Happiness is a state of awareness, not a place to go or be, in my opinion. So, yes, I think happy people are happy whether single or not. I am a happy person. I like being with family, friends, kids, DSO. But I also like being by myself. I'm great company and have awesome conversations in my head.  I'm just as happy living with DSO as I was living with my ex as I was living on my own. |
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387 
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Post by cycworker on Aug 19, 2014 2:10:18 GMT
I definitely think a person can be happy single. That said, I think being uncoupled can be fraught with challenges, too. So many of my peers are married with children. Now, I'm lucky in that I love children and wish I could have had them. So as my friends have gotten to know me, they've come realize I really do mean it when I say I don't mind if they have to bring the kids. I will go to the park, the fair, etc., etc. Initially when you say that, people can either A)think you're just being polite, or B)worry that maybe your interest in their kids is predatory. That may be true in some cases, but it's not in mine and I've been lucky to develop relationships over time where I do get to have a meaningful relationship with the kids, too. I don't get the title auntie, but in many cases it's clear it's that type of connection.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,255
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Aug 19, 2014 2:26:56 GMT
I married for the first time at age 42, so I was single for a long time. I had a good life as a single person. I always said I'd rather be single than be in a lousy marriage. To me, there is nothing worse than being married or in a relationship and feeling alone and lonely within that relationship.
I think some people will never be truly happy, and it has nothing to do with other people or their marital status. And some people seem to never be able to be alone, so they jump right into a new relationship when one ends, never really understanding the problems or getting to know themselves. I think some will have a hard time being happy in a relationship until they figure out how to be happy alone.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 9, 2024 20:25:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2014 4:47:44 GMT
I would rather be single and happy than married and unhappy. I am inbetween right now. Sure it would be nice to have someone special but there is a lot of garbage out there that call themselves men. There are good guys. My dad is a great guy. He treats my mom with respect, he takes her places, loves her to pieces, cares for her, lets her buy whatever she wants, he is just an all round great guy. My ex husband was a good guy. My parents were impressed how he cared for DS and I. He just didn't want to give up his life in Japan.
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Post by mirabelleswalker on Aug 19, 2014 5:19:54 GMT
Yes! I was a very happy single person, and I'm sure if I'm single again I will be perfectly content. I am still surprised that I got married, but my husband understands and respects that I am independent so I have the best of both worlds.
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 19, 2014 5:25:27 GMT
There have been a lot of widows in my family; something that's probably true for most families that have older members. Most have been very content never to consider being with anyone again.
Age has a lot to do with it, as does whether you became single through divorce or loss of a partner you loved.
It's harder to replace a really good relationship than it is to replace a bad one.
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Post by Skypea on Aug 19, 2014 6:14:40 GMT
yep! I'm very happy and content being single.
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Post by Skypea on Aug 19, 2014 6:28:42 GMT
Okay, so I will be up front and completely honest... I have been single for a long time. I have been happy for almost all of it. I have friends and family who bring me companionship. My children allow me to have close and intimate relationships (please don't read that as sexual, intimate can simply mean close) that are fulfilling. But as the boys get older and have started pulling away-as they are supposed to-I find that I am getting lonelier. I think that I have invested more energy than is likely healthy in my children and let go of those types of relationships that are more fulfilling for ME as a person (as opposed to me as a mother.) I think I can be perfectly happy and content on my own. But I think also think that in the name of motherhood I put so many others before myself and called myself happy when in fact I may have not been quite as happy as I thought. I miss having a partner. I miss the sharing of my true self, of being able to let go of some of the total responsibilities that I have to shoulder alone. I miss being able to share experiences, share burdens, share joys. I am afraid that I have put it off for too long. I am of "a certain age" in a world that worships youth, so the odds are against me finding anyone. So I am going to have to find my own joy. I am pretty sure that I will, I tend to be a fairly content kind of person, but there will be times that it is harder than others. ****************************************************************** My(pmm) words: This sums up a lot of how I feel. I was married for 20 years and have now been single for the last 6 years. I too find myself feeling lonely especially since all my friends are still busy raising kids. My youngest graduated from HS this past May and is in the Army Reserves. He went to boot camp last summer and is currently at AIT. He hopes that he will be able to change to active duty in the near future. As my kids start to find their way in the adult world, I'm trying to redefine how I imagined my life at this stage of the game. Some days I ace it and some days I sink into the couch cushions and have myself a pity party. Edited: because it didn't quote right. Not sure how to fix it either. Edited again because there was a ton of spacing. Holy smokes!
when you use 'quote', click on BBCode (lower left of the text box) and put the
'[/quote]' at the end of what was typed by the person you are quoting. Then you can start typing and your part should be outside of their quote box. I usually hit enter and start typing on the next line. then click on 'preview' ( lower left of box) and see if it looks right.
you can test it out on anyone's post and click on preview to see if it works. Just don't hit the 'create post' button if it's just a test. click on the 'back' button of your browser to go back to the thread. no one will know you did a 'test' try!
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eisforennui
Junior Member
Posts: 50
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Post by eisforennui on Aug 19, 2014 13:07:29 GMT
absolutely yes! i was single for quite a while and it was great. there are a lot of advantages to not having to schedule your life around someone else.  |
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Post by redayh on Aug 19, 2014 13:10:14 GMT
Single, yes. Alone, no.
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