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Post by gar on Aug 23, 2014 17:53:34 GMT
All I can say is don't believe everything you see/read. No one has a perfect life...there is always something they're not sharing, denying to themselves or hiding. Plus - nothing stays the same. Now.....go mop the floors and count your blessings
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Post by Sam on Aug 23, 2014 17:54:09 GMT
Sometimes FB makes you hark back to the time when you only had that crap shoved in your face once a year through those obnoxious Christmas 'here's how great our family is' newsletters!
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Post by sisterbdsq on Aug 23, 2014 17:55:23 GMT
I have a friend who is constantly buying new cars and motorcycles and going on vacations. They just bought a big house with a pool. But then, I went to her husband daughter's wedding. OMG!! Talk about trash. I have never felt classier, more educated, more beautiful and with the perfect man than that evening. Now when I see her posts, I think that must be nice, but I'm glad I'm not her and married to that guy and related to those people.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Aug 23, 2014 17:55:40 GMT
Right now, I'm pretty much jealous of anyone who owns a house. I see on Facebook them do remodel projects or gardening pictures and I'm green with envy. I wish I could have my own house.
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Post by JustKim on Aug 23, 2014 17:59:49 GMT
Well, I do hear you but I think people mostly post on FB about the good things. I would not want to read about debbie downer stuff because when I do I think is this really the place? how about calling on the phone and talking thru your troubles? I guess I view it differently, I view all of the wonderful stuff as that is so good for them. Can you find something happy (no matter how small it is) and be happy there? Like, I am happy today for the sun? i am just trying to give you a different view point. My life is not all roses, far from it, but a few years ago I changed my attitude and was determined to be happy and I had to work on it but it made a huge difference for me because I was exactly where you are. (Sorry for the "advice") I just was drawn to your words
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 23, 2014 18:00:10 GMT
Treat FB like you would a family album. Most family albums are filled with good memories and fun times. Most people aren't going to post statuses about their ingrown toenail or the fact that their husband had missed the laundry basket for the 100th time this week.
Granted there are definitely people who love to grief whore on FB, I find that most people paint a more positive picture. Everyone has struggles in life, and most of the time people will suffer in silence or will only share bad times with those closest to them.
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Post by epeanymous on Aug 23, 2014 18:00:34 GMT
Facebook is a minefield, right? I know people who are infertile and you can imagine what it is like to be them on Facebook, or people who have gone through horrible divorces, lost their jobs. I do think that FB tends towards extremes -- people post their best things, and a segment of them post all of their worst things -- but the day-to-day ordinariness just isn't there. Not that it should be -- I don't need to see your peanut butter sandwich or your half bathroom -- but what you get are selections from people's lives.
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justmeami
Shy Member
Posts: 45
Jun 26, 2014 0:38:54 GMT
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Post by justmeami on Aug 23, 2014 18:00:49 GMT
I totally understand. I feel the same way including the "no husband", okay house, etc. And then one day I went back and looked at my page with my postings. I have one of the most boring lives on the planet. However, since I only post when something positive happens (for the most part) anyone looking at my page would think I have a grand ole time all the time. Which leads me to believe that most everyone is like that- editing their lives to only the good stuff.
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Post by tiffanyannhulsey on Aug 23, 2014 18:02:30 GMT
My theory (and it's been proven true on more than one occasion) is that the more wonderful a relationship seems on Facebook, the worse it is in real life! I adore my SO but don't need to tell the world on Facebook.
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Aug 23, 2014 18:02:41 GMT
A family friend writes over the top Christmas letters, while her day to day reality is really quite different. I think Facebook is like Christmas letters every day.
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Post by chaosisapony on Aug 23, 2014 18:04:35 GMT
I've had Facebook vacation envy this year too. I haven't been on true overnight trip anywhere since 2009. A "real" vacation since I was six. SIX! Many of my friends' status have been nothing but vacation after vacation this summer and yeah, I get where you're coming, it gets old.
The rest of it doesn't bother me. The so called perfect husbands, houses and meals. Meh. I take it all with a grain of salt because I know my close friends and coworkers Facebook posts are like that and I see the real situation everyday. It's all a giant facade put online to make themselves feel better about their lives and superior to their peers. One coworker in particular would argue with her husband on the phone at work daily. I mean actual yelling, threatening and hanging up on each other fights. Daily. Then I would see her Facebook posts on her lunch "I love my husband so much. He works so hard for our family. Can't wait for our date night tonight!" Just her alone made me realize how phony people are on Facebook and mostly I just roll my eyes at all those perfect people type posts now.
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Post by cahwoo on Aug 23, 2014 18:13:03 GMT
I know that feeling It's almost my life too. I haven't been on a vacation in 10 years. My house needs alot of fixing up if I had the money. My car is OLD. My kids are grown and gone to live their own life and bring up their own family. I do however have wonderful grand kids that I get to see every month or so and enjoy time with.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 10, 2024 18:21:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2014 18:14:36 GMT
I know people only put on the bright happy face on face book. Just like in public. Most sane people don't air their dirty laundry so take everything with a grain of salt.
But, also consider WHO you are friends with and WHY. Perhaps it is time to either pare down your list to people you have frequent face to face contact with, or "unfollow" a lot of your friends list so their stuff isn't showing up in your news feed. OR, take a break from fb. Only visit infrequently so the faux happy happy joy joy lives don't drag you down. After all they aren't going to be posting any news you'll regret missing out on.
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Post by anonrefugee on Aug 23, 2014 18:15:35 GMT
Leap, maybe it's my SIL. What glorious Christmas letter lives they share! Reality? I'll take mine! However, I seem to be ignoring my pending autumn anxiety by reading social media- like an addict shopping the liquor store- it's not helping I read this post, Give Me Liberty or give me Debt, earlier in the week. Ironically I think someone shared it on FB, or here. It's thoughtful read, helped bring me back to center. momastery.com/blog/2014/08/11/give-liberty-give-debt/.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Aug 23, 2014 18:16:36 GMT
I didn't realize people believed all those perfect life FB posts
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 10, 2024 18:21:29 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2014 18:25:46 GMT
I totally understand. I have a great life, a good husband, we are very comfortable. But for some reason, something about my personality is such that I would always get off of Facebook in a worse mood than I was when I logged on. And I wasted all kinds of time on it, no less. So I decided it wasn't for me. I completely cancelled my account and have never missed it for a second, even though I know people say they can't live without it.
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Marina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,509
Aug 12, 2014 23:32:21 GMT
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Post by Marina on Aug 23, 2014 18:26:26 GMT
I have one friend that went overseas a year ago and has uploaded pictures for an entire year. Now they went on another vacation and I'm wondering how many months of pictures this one will generate.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Aug 23, 2014 18:27:40 GMT
There are some people who spend a lot of time convincing not only others but themselves that they are happy.
I can think of one particular person who does this under the disguise of "I am grateful for"....
Yet, one Christmas season she linked a post to her blog with the "blessed and grateful" bull crap then began to compared the size of her home, the flooring, the non-commercial stove, car she drove, vacations she takes....to what others have that she clearly envies. It was one of the most disgusting things I have ever read.
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Post by annabella on Aug 23, 2014 18:31:25 GMT
No one tells facebook they are sitting at home alone on a Saturday night with nothing to do. lol Where do you live? I bet we can come up with local mini vacation ideas/day trips for you to do. Start a gratitude journal of good things that happen daily to you. Facebook is just the highlight reel of people's lives.
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Post by Sam on Aug 23, 2014 18:32:47 GMT
I have one friend that went overseas a year ago and has uploaded pictures for an entire year. Now they went on another vacation and I'm wondering how many months of pictures this one will generate. I'd not have a problem with that, as such, with one vacation a year - I'd maybe feel that people were boasting a little if it were 2 or 3 vacations a year! I put up photos once in a while, not to be nasty to others or to say I have a perfect life, but because I like them and want to share without blasting friends with them all at once - maybe I should re think that!
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Marina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,509
Aug 12, 2014 23:32:21 GMT
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Post by Marina on Aug 23, 2014 18:44:16 GMT
Oh I don't think they are bragging or saying they have a perfect life. I actually enjoyed the first batch. It was just overkill with more like 50+ batches over the year.
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 23, 2014 18:49:00 GMT
No one tells facebook they are sitting at home alone on a Saturday night with nothing to do. lol Maybe this is why I don't have FB envy. People on my list actually do post simple things like that.
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 23, 2014 18:55:09 GMT
Oh...it's so easy to feel that way, isn't it?
I look at it like I do the salvos in the mommy wars. Everyone is has perfect children, who do amazing in school, are kind to old people and animals, stop speeding trains with a flick of the eyebrow...
I don't have perfect children, I have a very ordinary and boring life, old house that needs updating, old car, no job ... the list goes on and one. I think that for me the biggest thing I have to remember is that old saying that says something to the effect of if everyone puts their troubles in a pile and we saw what everyone else put it, we would be glad to take ours back.
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,641
Jun 26, 2014 14:35:07 GMT
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Post by janeliz on Aug 23, 2014 18:56:42 GMT
I do hear you, and I truly think we've all been there. And we all know the old adage of "everyone has their problems/hurdles/pain" and that's true, too. Some days it just doesn't feel that way. No advice---just wanted to let you know I feel ya'.
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Post by missfrenchjessica on Aug 23, 2014 19:03:20 GMT
You're not alone. Trust me...there are moments, I'm greener than Kermit the Frog! I was recently telling my sister this exact thing and she gently reminded me that people tend to put out the best of their lives. Yes, sometimes they post not so great stuff, but these posts are part of their life's "high light reel". When I think about it that way, I feel slightly less jealous. But I totally get the feeling...It does make you feel like you're the only one living a sub-standard, sucky life.
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Post by finsup on Aug 23, 2014 19:07:47 GMT
Leap, maybe it's my SIL. What glorious Christmas letter lives they share! Reality? I'll take mine! However, I seem to be ignoring my pending autumn anxiety by reading social media- like an addict shopping the liquor store- it's not helping I read this post, Give Me Liberty or give me Debt, earlier in the week. Ironically I think someone shared it on FB, or here. It's thoughtful read, helped bring me back to center. momastery.com/blog/2014/08/11/give-liberty-give-debt/. I really enjoyed that, thanks for the link! I love the term perspectacles!
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Post by LAM88 on Aug 23, 2014 19:19:16 GMT
My theory (and it's been proven true on more than one occasion) is that the more wonderful a relationship seems on Facebook, the worse it is in real life! I adore my SO but don't need to tell the world on Facebook. I wonder about this too. I have a friend who posted a beautiful, heartfelt, romantic birthday wish to her best friend and husband, waxing poetic about how amazing their lives together are. Problem is her DH isn't on FB and doesn't even like her being on FB because he's an IT guy and doesn't trust it. So it makes me wonder who the hell all that gushing was for.
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Post by gizzy on Aug 23, 2014 19:25:43 GMT
I like comparing it to a photo album. I always thought people used it more that way, so I really haven't taken it too seriously.
We were brought up to not talk about negative things outside family, so that's probably why you'll never see posts like that from me on fb. I'll post every day stuff along with the 'wow' stuff.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,692
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Aug 23, 2014 19:29:49 GMT
I don't know that there is a huge difference in actual lives, in my experience there is a big difference in how you look at the life you live. I'm fat, I rent, my kids lose their damn minds here and there and my dog pooped in her crate this morning b/c she was pissed she wasn't in the bed with me after surgery but i'm probably one of the happy 'fake' girls people like to talk about.
I spent a lot of years being beyond poor with no trips, in a trailer park and without a car that was safe. Heck, I just had a panic attack last week when I heard a funny vibration in my car and realized it was most likely going to blow up because I hadn't added any oil. It took 15 minutes for him to convince me that I was ok, the noise must be something else. He changes my oil and it's not normal to have to add more. I'd never had a car without an oil leak before (and the crazy sound ended up being a vibrator in the glove box that got switched on when I hit a bump....love my job! ha)
Read down my page and you'll either smile or you'll decide that i'm one of those girls. My life isn't better than anyone elses but i'll be damned if i'm going to sit back and complain about someone having it better when i've got a whole mess of things to be grateful for and excited about. It's a sad world if you can't pull one thing out of your day that makes you happy and talk about it.
On the other hand, the ones who want to bitch, moan and complain about everything in the world get instantly unfollowed on my feed- Who needs the negativity in their lives. boo.
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 23, 2014 19:29:58 GMT
Leap, maybe it's my SIL. What glorious Christmas letter lives they share! Reality? I'll take mine! However, I seem to be ignoring my pending autumn anxiety by reading social media- like an addict shopping the liquor store- it's not helping I read this post, Give Me Liberty or give me Debt, earlier in the week. Ironically I think someone shared it on FB, or here. It's thoughtful read, helped bring me back to center. momastery.com/blog/2014/08/11/give-liberty-give-debt/. LOVED that! TFS
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