|
Post by AussieMeg on Aug 24, 2014 0:23:19 GMT
I do get what you're saying. I swear, if one more person I know posts about their trip to Thailand or Bali this year, I'm going to go nuts!!!
It can happen off line too. I have a group of friends that I catch up with every few months (one of them I see a lot more often). At one of our recent dinners, they were all sharing photos of their overseas trips, home renovations etc etc. Even the single mother who works part time had been to the US and got a new kitchen! I left there so depressed because we're not in a position to do any of that at the moment. I am ashamed to say that the next time they organised a get together I said I had another engagement!
It's funny though. I have a good friend who is always posting things on FB about her wonderful children, how much she loves them, they're so awesome, they're her whole world. But whenever I see her IRL she bitches about them and fights with them, just like the rest of us mere mortals! It's a world away from the life she projects on FB.
|
|
|
Post by straggler on Aug 24, 2014 0:23:34 GMT
Thank you sooooo much for this thread! I could hug you for opening this door! Seriously. Hug. You!
So now...some FB posts I get, but really people, how many selfies and pictures of your wonderful, beautiful, super-intelligent, talented grandchildren are we expected to drool over? And you have soooo many grandchildren, which is wonderful, but please, for the love of all that's holy...give us a break. A pic now and then, fine I can handle that, but every day? Let the poor kids pupils adjust to normal light will ya?
And hey you! Yeah, you! I know you were a "such a cute couple", that "you are the perfect example of a wonderful marriage", but posting those old wedding pics and your "date night" pics of you as a 60- something couple repeatedly is really, really, really OLD! I think the comments are being cut & pasted after sooooo many posts!
And then there are the selfies...please, FB is not People magazine! Trust me 8 or 10 selfies a year are plenty! I know you eat up the comments and the "likes" must give you some internal satisfaction, but give it a rest. Please?
That is all.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 10, 2024 18:17:53 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2014 0:25:52 GMT
I understand how you feel and confess to feeling that way myself on occasion. More than anything, I hate the PVM posts that people post on my newsfeed. And then they get mad at me for not liking, commenting on every single thing they post. It drives me bananas!
I love the momastery blog...so profound!
|
|
|
Post by annabella on Aug 24, 2014 1:02:16 GMT
I do get what you're saying. I swear, if one more person I know posts about their trip to Thailand or Bali this year, I'm going to go nuts!!! I'm going there next month! lol But I bet Australians must go there all the time since it's so close. I never hear anyone talking about going there, just the Caribbean.
|
|
|
Post by ametallichick on Aug 24, 2014 1:03:45 GMT
I am ashamed to say, right now I have the worst case of Facebook Envy. I know, I know, you are rolling your eyes and mumbling ..log off, get a life, go outside, feed your cat, hang out with your kid, pick up a mop.... hahaha... I need to snap out of this but continue to check in on the lives of my "friends". Mostly I love reading about their amazing husbands, perfect homes, beautiful vacations, picture perfect homemade meals, way above average children going off to way above average schools, goodies from their garden, amazing churches, ...etc....etc......etc...... I am thrilled for them and enjoy a glimpse of the world beyond my door but a tiny part of me wants to feel sorry for myself. Does EVERYONE have it better than me? With exception of the one friend that constantly whines, my FB friends have absolutely the most ideal lives filled with so much good fortune. As for me: amazing husband- nope, just nope ...no "look who got a little blue box today!!!" being posted by me. hahhaa perfect home- cute, but needs some updating I can't afford vacation- have not been on one in 4 years...most of my friend have been on multiple vacations this summer alone perfect meals- take-out is my friend way above average children being sent off to way above average schools- one of mine is living at home and going to the local campus of a university to save money and the other is hoping their cancer stabilizes so they can go in the spring to the same local campus/stay at home garden- weeds church- no comment I am not asking for advice because I know what I should do. I'm just looking for a fun conversation and someone to say, "I've been there". I'm not rolling my eyes. I am ashamed to admit I do the same thing. Vacations is the big one for me. That bothers me the most. I am huge Metallica fan and they recently played at a festival called Heavy Montreal. A lot of people I know on FB went and it made me nuts as I could not afford it. I have limited myself to logging on. I feel a lot better when I go on only a couple times a week as opposed to every day.
|
|
StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,692
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
|
Post by StephDRebel on Aug 24, 2014 4:22:15 GMT
Please don't think I was speaking to you directly, my response was very much 'in general' and probably a little more 'mean' sounding than I usually am (I blame the post op drugs, being this high is crazy) - If I sounded ugly I apologize!
|
|
ladypop
Junior Member
Posts: 85
Aug 5, 2014 3:36:55 GMT
|
Post by ladypop on Aug 24, 2014 4:39:44 GMT
There are a couple of people that I have hidden from my newsfeed because I can't deal with their fabulousity. I need to steel myself to check and see what they've been doing, not have it thrown in my face first thing before I start an extremely early shift, lol. One is a cross between a Disney princess and Mary Poppins. She's harmless enough but her hashtags make me stabby. I don't need "lovetankfull" at 3am when I'm busy pouring coke on my porridge cos I'm operating with my eyes closed. My life is good. My kids are cool too. I'm still relatively enthused with my husband of 23 years. But fabulous I am not. I know this. I don't need comparison newsfeeds. People who post funny shit and tell me how their 7 year old wanted to take mum's battery operated best friend for show and tell....they're the ones I love.
|
|
|
Post by AussieMeg on Aug 24, 2014 5:02:34 GMT
I do get what you're saying. I swear, if one more person I know posts about their trip to Thailand or Bali this year, I'm going to go nuts!!! I'm going there next month! lol But I bet Australians must go there all the time since it's so close. I never hear anyone talking about going there, just the Caribbean. Just as well we're not FB friends!!! And yes, Australians go to Bali all the time. Thailand has jumped in popularity this year, because there are so many really cheap deals.
|
|
PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
|
Post by PrettyInPeank on Aug 24, 2014 13:03:15 GMT
I'm glad someone posted that momastery article--it was the first thing I thought of when I read the OP. Gratitude will keep you sane. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Same here. It's an excellent blog post I read on Facebook recently. It's so true! Gratitude is amazing for the soul.
|
|
|
Post by mrsscrapdiva on Aug 24, 2014 13:15:53 GMT
I am done with facebook since late winter. Gone...deleted and I was very active on it, as in all the time. There are many weekends I would feel the same as you. I quit it for a lot of reasons combined, not a single incident. Feeling the way you feel made me realize it wasn't healthy for me. There are some things that I miss, like the parents page from my son's school. But the bad outweighed the good as far as why to stay on there.
At first I just deactivated my account, but you can easily log back in. So next I did delete it fully. I wouldn't say my life is significantly any worse or better without it. I do feel though mentally, there is a huge ton of things I don't think of (stupid things) that I read on fb. Why do I need to know everyone's business? It wasn't benefiting me in any way. I sort of feel like it someone has something important enough to tell me or keep me updated on we can contact each other in other formats more personal. I also found that after take a break from it and then going back on (before I had deleted my account) it just is a bunch of jokes, sayings, slacktivism (lol learned that term this week) and like you said people blabbing insignificant details of their life or bragging.
|
|
|
Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Aug 24, 2014 13:49:02 GMT
Good first thread, OP! I, like AmeliaBloomer, do not facebook. I am a scrapper though and read friends' (crafting) blogs So I know how you feel. All of those posed photos for layouts, all of those likes on their blogs can sometimes get me down. However: try singing this to the tune of Disney's "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, its off to work we go...." from Snow White: "Faux Fun, Faux Fun, we're off to make Faux Fun...." Plenty of that stuff is staged ETA: have to record for posterity that, of all people, @stephdrebel is throbbing on this thread hahaha.
|
|
SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,750
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
|
Post by SweetieBsMom on Aug 24, 2014 14:16:15 GMT
This is EXACTLY why I don't do Facebook. My life is less than ideal. I stopped using FB when I was getting depressed looking at everyone's "perfect" lives. Totally my hang-up but no reason to put myself thru it by using FB. Most of my friends know if it's on FB I will never see it. If it's something they think I "need" to see, I'll get a text or email saying to check it out.
|
|
SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,750
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
|
Post by SweetieBsMom on Aug 24, 2014 14:33:49 GMT
My theory (and it's been proven true on more than one occasion) is that the more wonderful a relationship seems on Facebook, the worse it is in real life! I adore my SO but don't need to tell the world on Facebook. I wonder about this too. I have a friend who posted a beautiful, heartfelt, romantic birthday wish to her best friend and husband, waxing poetic about how amazing their lives together are. Problem is her DH isn't on FB and doesn't even like her being on FB because he's an IT guy and doesn't trust it. So it makes me wonder who the hell all that gushing was for. Along these same lines, it drove me NUTS when parents wish their kids happy birthday on FB and the kid is not on FB. DH does it for DS, he doesn't have FB, knowing him, won't ever have FB, so he won't see it. What are you trying to prove to people? That you are a great father? That you love your kid? It's just my opinion, I don't mean to offend anyone who does this. But it's a huge pet peeve.
|
|
|
Post by 2peafaithful on Aug 24, 2014 14:36:56 GMT
I have a friend that often post about struggling seeing how everyone is out and about, going on vacations and doing things she can't afford to do. Sometimes I wonder if vacations have increased because everyone is posting about going on them.
I have never thought of I have FB envy. I love to celebrate the good, grieve with the hard or loss and enjoy the day to day with others.
This isn't FB envy but I think seeing more into people lives have made it more of a reality for me and I realized that if I struggle, envy or covet anything it is quality of life. We enjoy life together, we work hard to do what counts and matters (to us) and life what to us is a good life. For the next person it might not mean that at all but thats why I say to us is the good life. But last year I was reading about coveting and I thought you know that is something I don't struggle with. I am happy for people, don't want they have, grateful for what we have,etc. Then it hit me there is a part of my heart that sinks a bit when I see the free time some people have. We work hard to have quality time and use our time wisely. But some choices we have made take time, add time and have changed the amount of free time we have. We don't resent those choice or want to change them but I still envy the free time. Just keeping it real.
|
|
|
Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Aug 24, 2014 21:42:16 GMT
Leap, maybe it's my SIL. What glorious Christmas letter lives they share! Reality? I'll take mine! However, I seem to be ignoring my pending autumn anxiety by reading social media- like an addict shopping the liquor store- it's not helping I read this post, Give Me Liberty or give me Debt, earlier in the week. Ironically I think someone shared it on FB, or here. It's thoughtful read, helped bring me back to center. momastery.com/blog/2014/08/11/give-liberty-give-debt/. I absolutely loved that article! TFS!!!
|
|
|
Post by roundtwo on Aug 24, 2014 22:51:27 GMT
Funny enough, a friend on Facebook just posted this picture. I think it fits with the momastery article quite nicely.
|
|
|
Post by cookiemum on Aug 25, 2014 5:42:07 GMT
I understand where you are coming from. I think I'm just cynical enough to realise that most are only going to show what they want others to see and that you absolutely never know what's going on behind closed doors. I thought this article was really interesting and could apply to more than just vacations: Facebook Vacation Fraudsters
|
|
scrapperdee
Junior Member
Refupea 1827
Posts: 76
Jun 27, 2014 22:13:54 GMT
|
Post by scrapperdee on Aug 25, 2014 6:34:13 GMT
Totally understand!
I have 2 friends (with young families) that went on a few trips during the year (not camping...they were expensive trips) and the day after they are home, they are asking for opinions on where to go next. One's DH wants a staycation....but she'll have NONE of it...they have to fly somewhere, for every 'holiday'...Easter, Christmas, Spring Break, teacher's convention....and a ton in summer alone....and THEN complains in-between the trips...that she needs a vacation. I skim past their posts as fast as my scroll button will go.
They wonder why their kids come out with "entitled" and "spoiled" comments...especially the one that had her own pony & is now getting her own horse. The other family posted a photo of the kids at Toys-R-Us with a cart FULL of toys....2 days before one of the kid's birthday party where he'll get 30ish gifts.
Thankfully I only have 2 facebook friends that do this, so its pretty easy to find real posts.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 10, 2024 18:17:53 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2014 6:51:28 GMT
Here's an experiment I'm trying this week ... I read a blog post about a guy who stopped liking comments on FB. He didn't want to teach the algorithms how to market to him, he said, and the algorithms are stupid. Say, for instance, you click "like' on someone's dog photo. FB doesn't say "Oh, she likes cute dog photos." They instead sign you up to see dogs in general ... dog memes, dog ads, abused dogs three states away, dogs needing homes.
Suddenly, your world is all about dogs. You might actually like cats, but there you go. All dogs, all the time.
So I've stopped clicking the like button. I make myself type a comment, interact with the people in my feed. I've noticed the algorithm is churning out new people's posts, and I've at least stopped looking at dogs with sores all over their bodies. Perhaps an excercise like this will bring more realism to your feed?
But in the end, attitude plays such a huge role as you know. When I hate something, it feels like the world goes out of its way to shove it down my throat when in reality, I'm just more sensitized to that topic.
|
|
|
Post by Meri-Lyn on Aug 25, 2014 11:28:46 GMT
No one tells facebook they are sitting at home alone on a Saturday night with nothing to do. lol Maybe this is why I don't have FB envy. People on my list actually do post simple things like that. LOL! Mine, too! And I like it.
|
|
|
Post by Lindarina on Aug 25, 2014 11:30:59 GMT
I like the photo album comparison. I like to get a glimpse of peoples everyday life, and I know that everyone has their troubles even though they don't post about the negative on facebook all the time.
I read something a while back, that kind of made sence. "When we read these updates telling us that friend no1 baked cookies today, friend no2 ran 10k and friend no3 cleaned her whole house, we often tend to put everything into one single TO-DO list for ourselves". We feel the need to bake, clean AND exercise, because that's what other people do, overlooking that it's not one single person doing all these things. And when we read the updates from 50 people doing all kinds of amazing stuff, we get overwhelmed by all the things we'll never have time to do.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 10, 2024 18:17:53 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2014 12:21:37 GMT
Everyone likes to pretend their life is rosy. Except of course my one FB friend who writes the most awful stuff about her kid and his father. I just write the good and the ugly. (But not in detail!) Mostly I just post pics and poke fun at myself. Don't let it get you down. If you peeked in their windows, you'd see they are no better off than you.
Ann
|
|
scrapperdee
Junior Member
Refupea 1827
Posts: 76
Jun 27, 2014 22:13:54 GMT
|
Post by scrapperdee on Aug 25, 2014 13:40:47 GMT
Here's an experiment I'm trying this week ... I read a blog post about a guy who stopped liking comments on FB. He didn't want to teach the algorithms how to market to him, he said, and the algorithms are stupid. Say, for instance, you click "like' on someone's dog photo. FB doesn't say "Oh, she likes cute dog photos." They instead sign you up to see dogs in general ... dog memes, dog ads, abused dogs three states away, dogs needing homes. Suddenly, your world is all about dogs. You might actually like cats, but there you go. All dogs, all the time. So I've stopped clicking the like button. I make myself type a comment, interact with the people in my feed. I've noticed the algorithm is churning out new people's posts, and I've at least stopped looking at dogs with sores all over their bodies. Perhaps an excercise like this will bring more realism to your feed? But in the end, attitude plays such a huge role as you know. When I hate something, it feels like the world goes out of its way to shove it down my throat when in reality, I'm just more sensitized to that topic. I also stopped clicking "like" on any post that are bragging ... still waiting for the quantity of their posts the decrease in my feed. This method, however, has worked on 1 person's posts...I never see them any more - I rarely, if ever commented or hit like on her posts & now I never see any of them.
|
|
|
Post by LAM88 on Aug 25, 2014 13:57:00 GMT
Here's an experiment I'm trying this week ... I read a blog post about a guy who stopped liking comments on FB. He didn't want to teach the algorithms how to market to him, he said, and the algorithms are stupid. Say, for instance, you click "like' on someone's dog photo. FB doesn't say "Oh, she likes cute dog photos." They instead sign you up to see dogs in general ... dog memes, dog ads, abused dogs three states away, dogs needing homes. Suddenly, your world is all about dogs. You might actually like cats, but there you go. All dogs, all the time. So I've stopped clicking the like button. I make myself type a comment, interact with the people in my feed. I've noticed the algorithm is churning out new people's posts, and I've at least stopped looking at dogs with sores all over their bodies. Perhaps an excercise like this will bring more realism to your feed? But in the end, attitude plays such a huge role as you know. When I hate something, it feels like the world goes out of its way to shove it down my throat when in reality, I'm just more sensitized to that topic. I also stopped clicking "like" on any post that are bragging ... still waiting for the quantity of their posts the decrease in my feed. This method, however, has worked on 1 person's posts...I never see them any more - I rarely, if ever commented or hit like on her posts & now I never see any of them. After reading this thread I decided to unfriend someone who was constantly bragging and bragging and never commented or liked any of my posts When I started to unfriend her I found there was also an option to "unfollow", so I hit that instead out of curiosity. I assume that she remains on my friends list but I will no longer see her posts.
|
|
|
Post by gar on Aug 25, 2014 14:32:09 GMT
Don't compare your "behind the scenes" footage to everyone else's "highlight reel". That's a good way of looking at it
|
|
scrapperdee
Junior Member
Refupea 1827
Posts: 76
Jun 27, 2014 22:13:54 GMT
|
Post by scrapperdee on Aug 25, 2014 23:11:37 GMT
I also stopped clicking "like" on any post that are bragging ... still waiting for the quantity of their posts the decrease in my feed. This method, however, has worked on 1 person's posts...I never see them any more - I rarely, if ever commented or hit like on her posts & now I never see any of them. After reading this thread I decided to unfriend someone who was constantly bragging and bragging and never commented or liked any of my posts When I started to unfriend her I found there was also an option to "unfollow", so I hit that instead out of curiosity. I assume that she remains on my friends list but I will no longer see her posts. I forgot about the unfollow - I did that with a few friends that were posting SO MUCH stuff that I couldn't see anything else but them on my feed
|
|
|
Post by peanuttle on Aug 25, 2014 23:20:44 GMT
OP, I know what you mean, I get it. What I try to remind myself is that this is what FB "friends" put out there, which most the time, is not their true reality. They may appear to have a great marriage, but it's not always the case. Most people won't share the yucky or normal parts of their lives.
In many cases, the showy bragging is a way to make themselves feel better about themselves.
|
|
|
Post by sbartist on Aug 26, 2014 6:22:30 GMT
On the other hand, the ones who want to bitch, moan and complain about everything in the world get instantly unfollowed on my feed- Who needs the negativity in their lives. boo. I hid these people, because I did not want to unfriend them. What a change in my newsfeed on FB. I have enough of my own negative (not necessarily bad) stuff, which I don't post about, because I don't need people to like it and feel sorry for me (not that they would). Honestly, life is pretty good for the most part. And the negative part(s), only I can choose to change.
|
|
|
Post by sbartist on Aug 26, 2014 6:24:18 GMT
I've been there. I've been really sick for the last 2 years and undiagnosed for 12 years before that. My peers are traveling, making lots of money,buying houses, getting married etc and I'm in bed, achieving nothing. I was so jealous and frustrated and angry. I have a cousin and his family that are always doing home improvements, going on lots of trips, etc. I often wonder how much they owe for all of that stuff. Maybe they don't owe anything, and good for them if they don't. I will never know. I only know what our financial situation is.
|
|
|
Post by sbartist on Aug 26, 2014 6:36:21 GMT
Unfollow (not hid) is the term that I meant.
|
|