TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,831
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Aug 26, 2014 1:46:02 GMT
I want to be the dad. Being the dad has got to be better.
(I'm venting. I have a teen. Enough said.)
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Post by vronn on Aug 26, 2014 1:49:18 GMT
As long as I don't have to be the teen again!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 10, 2024 20:28:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2014 1:49:49 GMT
Oh, TankTop! You are signing the song of my people! ((((((hugs)))))) and hang in there. They do grow up, sometimes...
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Post by fuji on Aug 26, 2014 1:50:58 GMT
I hear ya! It's definitely better in my house. My DH is Mr. Fun Guy. I do 90% of the household chores and discipline.
My teen went to college last year, and although I miss her, life is much easier for me. Hang in there! It will get better!
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Post by Tamhugh on Aug 26, 2014 1:51:05 GMT
I hear ya! DH did not like to be the disciplinarian. When our boys were teens, I was always the b$%^&. I used to tell him that it wasn't fair that I had to keep him in line when he was a teen/early 20something and then I had to do it with his sons as well. They are older now, and Dad is still the fun parent, but I am the one they usually come to for issues in their lives.
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Post by dulcemama on Aug 26, 2014 1:51:20 GMT
May I be the cat please? Being the cat seems nice.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,831
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Aug 26, 2014 2:01:58 GMT
May I be the cat please? Being the cat seems nice. No kidding! Lol!
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Post by leannec on Aug 26, 2014 2:05:58 GMT
May I be the cat please? Being the cat seems nice. Yup, that would be my choice too I live in Hormone Hell right now with two dd's (aged 15 and 11) ... everyday is an adventure
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,792
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Aug 26, 2014 2:06:11 GMT
I have a 19 yo. There have been times when I not only did not want to be the Mom, heck, I didn't want to be the parent!!! But recently he is exhibiting signs of becoming human..... Hang in there Mom!
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Post by bluepoprocks on Aug 26, 2014 2:06:21 GMT
I know how you feel. I have always been the mean "parent" my sister is fun mommy. Their dad doesn't participate in the raising of his children. I make the rules and make them do chores and punish them. My sister is the one saying "well there just little" or "boys are like that" when they do stuff wrong. Drives me crazy. You can't raise responsible adults by allowing bad behavior when they are little.
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Post by Legacy Girl on Aug 26, 2014 3:17:23 GMT
I wanna be the dad...because I just went bra shopping with my tween today. Oh, the drama! She was literally hiding amongst the racks because I had the audacity to ask the sales associate where the tween bras might be found, which apparently was humiliating for her. So glad it was her idea ~ and not mine ~ to go shopping!
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 26, 2014 3:18:57 GMT
It is funny how these things never seriously cross your mind when you are trying to conceive. My hubby does lots and lots of things around the house (refused to marry him if he didn't) but his role as dad is 95% fun guy and mom is Debby Downer. Thankfully DS [HASH]2 is just like me (very delightful and doesn't need much in the area of discipline.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 26, 2014 3:20:35 GMT
I wanna be the dad...because I just went bra shopping with my tween today. Oh, the drama! She was literally hiding amongst the racks because I had the audacity to ask the sales associate where the tween bras might be found, which apparently was humiliating for her. So glad it was her idea ~ and not mine ~ to go shopping! Boys are so much easier to shop with… at least for me. Last year we did our school shopping trip in under 30 minutes and that included the drive. Wham bam thank you ma'm!
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 26, 2014 3:22:21 GMT
DH isn't home most nights so I get to be all of it. Then when he is home he barely does anything without me having to ask him to do it. It is seriously like having a third child. Right now I am so irritated about it that I want to kick him in the ass.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Aug 26, 2014 3:56:47 GMT
I'm right there beside you.
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Post by ametallichick on Aug 26, 2014 3:59:26 GMT
I feel your pain. My dh and ds are very close and it bugs me. I am always having to tell my ds to clean his room, clean up after himself, etc. My dh is the hero, pal, etc. It is bothering me so much right now. I'm the nag, bitch, and all that. I think if I never told my ds to do things, my dh never would.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 26, 2014 4:01:38 GMT
DH isn't home most nights so I get to be all of it. Then when he is home he barely does anything without me having to ask him to do it. It is seriously like having a third child. Right now I am so irritated about it that I want to kick him in the ass. I am laughing out loud. I think going back to teaching and having an infant husband make you want to go postal.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 10, 2024 20:28:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2014 7:35:10 GMT
Be the Grandma. We have all the fun and none of the responsibility!
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Aug 26, 2014 7:46:42 GMT
I know how you feel. However, DH has a long commute so not sure I'd like that role either. Last year was seriously a living hell with 16 year old (now 17 year old) DD. DH is the fun guy, especially with 14 yo DS but he even gets annoyed when DS procrastinates on homework until Sunday night. Nothing bugs him much but that sure did!
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Post by gar on Aug 26, 2014 7:55:19 GMT
I was in your shoes when the kids were smaller - I was almost a single parent due to his work commitments, not his lack of parenting. It's hard but hang in there. They do grow up, promise, and as long as you're fair and consistent they 'get it' in the end and appreciate the efforts you put in to parenting them well.
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BarbaraUK
Drama Llama
Surrounded by my yarn stash on the NE coast of England...............!! Refupea 1702
Posts: 5,961
Location: England UK
Jun 27, 2014 12:47:11 GMT
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Post by BarbaraUK on Aug 26, 2014 9:09:25 GMT
My kids are adult now so we are well out of that stage thank goodness! My DH was away from home several months at a time throughout his career and to this day when tales are being told about 'remember when we got told off for......' it's always Mum who features in those stories. When they are talking about fun things it's always Dad that features!
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Post by Scrapbrat on Aug 26, 2014 10:24:40 GMT
Totally agree. Dad or cat would be perfect!
My 14 yo DS gave me the look of death last night.when I tried to fix his shirt collar for his school picture at orientation. No affection, no fussing, I just reached out to straighten his collar. Apparently this is now a crime.
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Post by mommaho on Aug 26, 2014 10:47:59 GMT
I totally understand - DH traveled all the time when the girls were young and he had to be the bad guy when he got home if it issue was serious enough. He hated that! They do grow up - there is a light at the end of the tunnel but we went though alot of CRAZY times as our three girls grew up!
Hang in there!
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Post by Really Red on Aug 26, 2014 10:59:28 GMT
Sing it, sister!
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Post by trixiecat on Aug 26, 2014 11:02:21 GMT
Your thread is so timely and it has made me feel good that I am not alone. I think my husband has it easy sometimes also. He has one job in life and that is to work. He works hard, has to travel a lot and does well in his job. I on the other hand have to parent, work part time, clean, do laundry, cook, cart the kids to their activities…you get the picture. And when things don't go the way he thinks they should go, like the kids stepping up to do some work around the house, it is my fault, not theirs. And little things like today, my son has to go to his ADHD doctor and we need to talk about medication changes. My husband is working from home and asked if I wanted him to go with us (which was nice). But I said you won't be able to contribute because I know the drugs, I have done the research, and know what the options are…he knows nothing. And then he gets mad.
He doesn't understand why I don't have time to go to the gym…well I am running around all day. Ugh!! I think he is almost worse then raising a teenager.
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Post by gonewalkabout on Aug 26, 2014 11:07:32 GMT
I wanna be the dad...because I just went bra shopping with my tween today. Oh, the drama! She was literally hiding amongst the racks because I had the audacity to ask the sales associate where the tween bras might be found, which apparently was humiliating for her. So glad it was her idea ~ and not mine ~ to go shopping! I humiliate my children all the time like this apparently. Last week it was at the hair salon where one of the stylists had a similar style to what dd wanted. I happened to point it out to her and ask if that was what she was looking for. That was incredibly cringe worthy I guess. She couldn't run away though since she was in the chair already.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,831
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Aug 26, 2014 11:25:08 GMT
Dear Dh,
If you choose to be uninvolved, be uninvolved. Don't jump in when I am laying down the law. If you would have taken 3 seconds to read the automated text or email that was sent to you from her grade book, you would know why I am "nagging" her and took away her phone.
Thanks,
Your loving wife
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Post by alibama on Aug 26, 2014 12:07:43 GMT
When my two were growing up it was split down the middle for my husband and I. My son and my husband butted heads so bad all the time, now they are close as can be. My daughter and I butted heads 100% of the time. Now we are super close.
Oh those were the days of serious stress!!
Hang in there it does get better!
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Post by beanbuddymom on Aug 26, 2014 12:11:48 GMT
Your thread is so timely and it has made me feel good that I am not alone. I think my husband has it easy sometimes also. He has one job in life and that is to work. He works hard, has to travel a lot and does well in his job. I on the other hand have to parent, work part time, clean, do laundry, cook, cart the kids to their activities…you get the picture. And when things don't go the way he thinks they should go, like the kids stepping up to do some work around the house, it is my fault, not theirs. And little things like today, my son has to go to his ADHD doctor and we need to talk about medication changes. My husband is working from home and asked if I wanted him to go with us (which was nice). But I said you won't be able to contribute because I know the drugs, I have done the research, and know what the options are…he knows nothing. And then he gets mad. He doesn't understand why I don't have time to go to the gym…well I am running around all day. Ugh!! I think he is almost worse then raising a teenager. I could have written just about everything you have written. I am tired of doing everything and getting blamed for everything when things go wrong.
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 26, 2014 12:14:23 GMT
I wanna be the dad...because I just went bra shopping with my tween today. Oh, the drama! She was literally hiding amongst the racks because I had the audacity to ask the sales associate where the tween bras might be found, which apparently was humiliating for her. So glad it was her idea ~ and not mine ~ to go shopping! Boys are so much easier to shop with… at least for me. Last year we did our school shopping trip in under 30 minutes and that included the drive. Wham bam thank you ma'm! I want your boy. I have one that is the worse than any teen girl alive. He knows what he wants, but he is under the impression that size is the same in all brands and will pick up what he thinks is his size, and when it doesn't fit he refuses to admit it. He also won't listen when I tell him things shrink. Jean shopping with him is worse than tax day. I should also mention that he refuses to admit that he has gone up a size and every pair of jeans he tries on make him look he will start singing soprano any moment. I hate shopping with him. Hate it. We hate each other by the end of the day. ETA: I should also add that as a single mom, I get the suck work no matter what. It is exhausting and I decided years ago that rather than be the dad, I want to be a princess. Then I would have people to do my royal bidding.
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