Edited 4 clarity advice... EX not getting child mental help

I agree at this point. 

It is neglect when you do not get the medical attention your child needs. This is just as serious (and more common) than child abuse. CPS will be able to help the other parent get the resources they need (whether it is a ride to the dr, parenting classes to teach them how to parent, etc). Just because CPS is involved does not mean they will take the child away. 

Just because a parent does not have a car or insurance that is accepted is not a reason to let your child with a mental disorder suffer. Not only is the child in danger of hurting herself, those around her are in danger. SaveSave

Maybe this post is what is giving us the impression that you are busy judging the OP.

Your tone isn't exactly empathetic. You are telling OP to get her daughter help, almost as if you didn't read the long list of things she has already done to help her daughter.

The other post I quoted from you ("gross...
") is even more harsh. And, while that "gross" post was not directed at the OP, you are still obliquely referring to whatever you addressed in the post above.

mentally ill or not, OP's daughter does not have the right to harm others. If several people misunderstand your point, I would think the reason is that you are not articulating yourself well, rather than that several people are failing to comprehend what you are saying.

You don't have to answer any of this here.  I'm just trying to figure out how to help you without knowing all the info and asking you to give up some very personal info on the internet.

If you are still active duty, you can go to your CO and explain the situation.  Ask for help.  If you still have primary custody of your DD, there may be some questions about why this is coming to light now.  This is one reason I would hesitate to call CPS.  I know you said you thought your ex was getting her help, but a CO is going to ask the tough questions.  Most importantly, your CO should have some numbers/contacts at mental health to get her some help.  Regular visits may take a bit to put into place, but you need to start somewhere.

If you are not AD, call Tricare.  Call the triage nurse.  Or call her PCM in the morning.  It's going to be a pain because no one is going to want to deal with this and they will all take your number and have 3 business days to get back to you.  You're going to have to be the squeaky wheel to get anything done before the weekend. (I'm thinking of getting her script renewed.)  Sometimes it helps to go to the clinic, especially if you are at a smaller base/MTF.  And I hate to say it, but if you have any rank, I'd pull that now.  I had some HUGE health issues with a brain injury a few years ago and DH had to play the colonel card to get some answers.  But once he and his CO (The General) got involved, along with 5 department heads at Walter Reed, it was less than a week before we had a diagnosis, where it had been 5 months up until then with them just dealing with me, the spouse.

One other resource for you may be militaryonesource.mil.  It's been a few years since my CO Spouse Training, but at the time this was where we were advised to send people who needed matters to be confidential and needed advice.  You can talk to a person and they can advise you of your rights as a parents/patient and at least tell you where to start to get help.  The number is 1-800-342-9647 and I know that number is manned 24/7.

Do you use RelayHealth in your area?  We use it here to contact our provider.  Perhaps you can use that to send your DD's PCM a detailed message telling the PCM the problem and asking how to proceed.

Hopefully something above will help.  Good luck!

There are children who are so dangerous to themselves and others, that placement outside the home is the only option. Some of them a lot younger. The letters on the computer might be a call for help, or her fantasies that she might act on. If I had other children at home, I wouldn't take the risk of bringing her home.

I have worked in child welfare as an investigator and supervisor and administrator for 24.5 years. The screening guidelines may have some variation from state to state. In general, for something to be considered neglect/medical neglect for not obtaining mental health services, the mental health professional should be the referral source and state that the child/youth is at imminent risk of suicide or is suicidal and the parent is not obtaining the needed mental health services.

I would be quite surprised if a CPS agency screened it in on the basis of the youth not seeing a counselor for the past five months, especially when the mental health professional is not the referral source. The mental health professional AND the doctor prescribing the medication are both mandatory reporters of child abuse/neglect.

If the OP/mother wants "someone" to make her daughter obtain counseling, then she needs to file a motion asap with the court that has jurisdiction over your divorce/child custody arrangements. The motion should request the judge or magistrate to court order the residential parent to maintain the mental health services, including medication, as long as the mental health professional says it is warranted.

In addition, the mother could make the arrangements to have someone transport her daughter to the counseling if the OP feels so strongly about it. No matter the distance.

I do feel that we are missing parts of the story, which I respect the OP's right to post whatever she wishes. It is clear to me that there was some type of allegation leveled at the OP and her husband that CPS investigated.

I do agree that the daughter has a lot of anger towards many people, including her mother. It is clear to me that issues with the OP, the father, the family situation, etc. began LONG before the daughter had her current mental health issues. I think the daughter's issues, anger, etc. are symptomatic of the many levels of dysfunction within her family. But I am just arm chair DSM'ing here.

Honestly...I give up. I work with teens like your DD...she needs SERIOUS help so she can lead a happy productive life. Take the blinders off and get her some HELP.

Do you mean Kentucky? I'm confused because twice you have referred to the state as MY, I was thinking it was a typo for Maryland or Wyoming.

OP, I say the following with a great deal of compassion and 24.5 years of child welfare experience>>> If CPS gets involved, since your parental rights have not been terminated, you are just as culpable for obtaining or not obtaining the needed services for your child. Not matter where she lives and where you live. No matter who has the insurance and who doesn't, no matter who the child is living with or not living with, no matter what "hell" you feel your daughter has caused you, no matter, no matter, no matter. 

My best advice to you is that I personally would contact the last therapist and the doctor prescribing the medication to your daughter and inform them of the current situation and ask them if they feel that not having the therapy or medication has created a currently suicidal (actively suicidal) situation for your daughter. If so, as mandated reporters, they should be reporting this.

However, I feel that you probably have a situation where she does need or would greatly benefit from the medication and counseling, but it is not at the suicidal level. With that, then CPS will not likely NOT screen it in for assessment. If your daughter is attending school fairly regularly, is not out committing felonies, etc. then she is some level of "functional".

However, via a motion through the child custody case, that court has greater discretion to order services for your daughter, her father,  and quite frankly for you.  I highly doubt that your daughter's anger and writings came from out of nowhere, and/or is only due to her father. 

    Yes I am aware of this. Which is why it is so important that a parent step in and do their responsibility to this teen. She is ill. If the father won't do it than if I were the mother I'd leave my kids with their stepfather and drive or fly to my ex's and take care of my daughter-fill the meds, get her to her appointments. And make a plan so that she is taken care of. Whether that means getting her into an inpatient facility or bringing her home-whatever the psychiatrist feels is best. Because clearly the ex isn't going to take care of the daughter's medical needs-filling her scripts and getting her to appointments. 

There are a couple of moms here who have gone through hell and high water with their child. I hope that they have contacted you.
They will have much better advice , since they have btdt.

I do apologize for the miss assumption, although it really wasn't about the sponser being a man, but rather assuming the custodial parent was the one carrying the insurance.

I hope the OP has been able to move forward in getting her dd and family some assistance.

I'm so sorry you're all going through this. It sounds like you're exploring every available option; I hope the professionals can offer you even more choices so that you can choose a solution where your daughter gets the support she needs while the rest of your family is protected. Good luck.

Are you going to help pay for this residential treatment?

So many of you live in a bubble and don't realize that access to residential treatment is severely limited for most average people. In my state, OP's daughter wouldn't have many options if her family couldn't afford expensive, in patient, treatment.

This mythical treatment you think she'd get from our public health care system is non-existent, so OP may not see involving CPS as anything but a last resort.