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Post by littlemama on Nov 13, 2017 21:21:16 GMT
I also have always thought it was weird when someone (like a soldier) is killed by a gun and at their funeral they shoot volleys to honor the dead. It always makes me uncomfortable. Do NOT turn my remarks into a debate on gun control. That was not my point. Well, the 21 gun salute is a little different, I think. (and they aren't real bullets. :-) )
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
Jun 25, 2014 21:31:58 GMT
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Nov 13, 2017 21:26:28 GMT
As a driver, I find them distracting and wish the memorial was not there. I really don't like seeing them either. Often they become quite dilapidated or just tacky looking. Too many of the homemade roadside memorials end up being just a roadside mess- Not to mention they look weathered and derelict in no time and therefore start looking depressing just adds to my dislike. for all of you - aesthetics is more important that a grieving family i've been thinking of this thread all morning - it's sad that these memorials don't blend in with the road side better and that the flowers wilt and the balloons loose their loft I've never heard of a roadside memorial causing an accident or creating a major problem. An inconvenience and or short moment of ugly on the side of the road is nothing compared to their loss. I can overlook that second or two of unpleasantness. i can over look a lot if it makes someone process their grief I'm sorry, but where did I say aesthetics were more important than grieving families? You saying you can "overlook a lot" means things aren't preferable to you, too. Just like these aren't preferable to me. This is just my opinion. I don't like them. I never said they shouldn't exist or that we should go to city hall and ban them for crying out loud. You're really putting words in my mouth and making one hell of an assumption saying I care more about aesthetics than the grieving. You know, I also don't like cars that are green, corn stalks as decoration, and inflatable characters bigger than your house. Doesn't mean I don't care about those who choose those things, either. Lol!
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Post by Skellinton on Nov 14, 2017 4:34:38 GMT
I completely agree, but if it brings someone who loved the person some comfort, I respect that and just think a quick thought for them when I pass one. My aunt taught were a student had died of cancer, the school had a bench put in front of the school as a memorial. Her mom and grandmother came and sat there once a week. I imagine I would be traumatized by seeing the other healthy children, but for this family being at the school and seeing her classmates grow up brought them peace. Grieving is such a personal thing. We have a “buddy bench” at the school where Phoebe went (and where I work) that was put up in Phoebe’s memory. It is a place for kids to sit when they need a friend to play with, them other kids can see them and go get them to play. I see it on my walk into school, and from my classroom window, and while on recess duty. While it is hard to think about with the meaning, I am happy knowing that something in honor of Phoebe is at a place she lived and loved so much. Although my best friend and I joke that had there been a buddy bench when Phoebe was alive she might tell kids to go sit there if she didn’t want to play with them. Just lots of hugs to you.
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Post by kernriver on Nov 14, 2017 5:17:52 GMT
There’s one on the on-ramp I use regularly and I just don’t get it.
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Post by refugeepea on Nov 14, 2017 5:33:53 GMT
The makeshift ones give me the creeps. Mainly when they look beaten down. I feel like the deceased has been forgotten. I know that's not true, but it's sad to see it in disrepair. There's one in my area with three markers on a long stretch of road. Makes me really jumpy when driving at night and your headlights hits the shirts that are hanging on crosses. It's particularly disturbing how one of them died, and then OF COURSE I think about the details of the accident. The memorial ones to officers at least look okay. ETA: I can't do anything about them and I get it helps others, but it seriously scares me when I drive that road at night. A straight, flat stretch of road, and then BAM! There's three shirts on crosses.
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Post by refugeepea on Nov 14, 2017 5:52:51 GMT
When a temporary cease-fire on a battlefield is declared, the volley signals they're finished retrieving the injured and dead back to their own side. At a funeral, it means they've cared for the person through to the end and they're sending the person on, that the work here is completed. I have always found it very moving but I know some people find it upsetting. I do worry about military and ex military who attend and have PTSD. Yes, they know it's coming, but it has to be jarring.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:49:58 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2017 6:13:23 GMT
Where I live, I see them every few miles or so. Probably even closer together. I get sad to think that someone died there, and they COULD be distracting, especially when they have those laminated photos on the crosses. But it serves as a reminder to be especially safe driving through that spot. Maybe it's a spot where it could use a traffic light or a stop sign?
DH wanted to take a long trip along one side of the States, taking professional pics of the roadside memorials for a book. He wondered about the background of a lot of the monuments. After personally having seen so many accidents here that resulted in death, I try not to think about it too deeply.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
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Post by scrapaddie on Nov 14, 2017 14:07:29 GMT
I am not going to judge someone else's way of dealing with grief. I have lost my father, my mother, two brothers and a sister. The two boys died in separate accidents. So I do know a little about grief. I am not a memorial type person, but I won't judge those who are. While some of you say that they are 'distracting', I doubt anyone has been so distracted that they were harmed. And for those of you who don't like to reminded of what happened there, it may actually be good for you to be reminded. It might make you go a little slower in that curve. Or be a little more careful at that stop sign.
I think it is really self-righteous for anyone to judge some one else's grief! everyone is different. I have seen people share here that they are still immobilized by a death months later. I am not like that. I need to get back into things and get busy. I don't understand how someone can still be nonfunctional months later. But I accept that it is real and that they are different from me. I would never dare to judge someone else's grief.
empathy is such a nice ability that some seem to lack.
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