Roadside memorials to those who have died

I don't understand it either. But then, I don't understand people visiting grave sites either.

I don’t either. I want to remember where people lived and were happy. Not where they were tragically killed. There’s one on a main Street about 5 blocks from my house. It’s along a shopping area with a Sears, Target, Lowe’s and some restaurants. It was a young guy on a motorcycle and it happened on Christmas Eve in 2003. There are still always lots of fake flowers and a small wooden white cross on the grass. It makes me sad for the person always changing them out and feeling tied to that place. I’m guessing his Mom.

I know a person whose 17 year old was killed in a car accident. His teenage friends put a roadside memorial up at the spot he was killed.
One day when we were at lunch, a group of us girls, someone asked her if it bothered her. She said it didn't bother her in the least because for one thing, that was a way for those friends to 'deal' with losing their friend, and it gave them a way to honor him and 'visit' him outside of a cemetery where it was just too formal for them to process.
She said she also did visit the memorial, to feel close to where her child had taken his last breath while she wasn't able to be with him. She felt she could 'be with him' and somehow that soothed her.
I didn't understand the roadside memorials either, as I have never lost a child or loved one in a tragic accident. Hearing from someone that did, I understood.

I go to see my mother all the time at the cemetery. I often wash her headstone. It's a Japanese tradition and, well, I know that it is something I can do for her so I do it. I may be gaijin but I lived in Japan long enough that I have the custom engraved in my mind. Shoganai.

We have quite a few up in our area. We are in a small farming town that now has a lot of commuters to the city. But we are surrounded by country roads so a lot of people tend to go off the road especially in snowstorms or from drinking.

One problem is that the memorials are put up on other people's property. They don't necessarily mind for a short time, but they don't really want them on their property for years. Often they become quite dilapidated or just tacky looking.

I think there is a pea who has a direct dealing with this.
Family kept trying to set up memorial in their yard. I am not sure if it is still going on

............

There is a memorial at an intersection. It is marker with a photo on it. A young vibriant girl who had everything going for her was murdered at the intersection when a drunk driver ran a light and hit her.

The murdering bastard has been trying to get the memorial removed, because it upsets him when he ( and his grandparents ) drives by it.

Her parents used to drive around town towing her wrecked car, but I haven't seen it in a long time.

i think that, unless we've been there, it's hard to judge

there's a memorial just a few yards from my driveway in the dip

i heard this young man wreck and ran thru the woods while calling 911 so he wouldn't be alone if it were his final moments

the cross his family/friends have erected is tasteful and even if it wasn't - i'd never utter a word

gina

We pass on of those not too far from our home. There is a large column supporting the freeway overpass. On that column is written the name of a guy who passed away there. The city comes and paints over the words and someone comes back and puts it back on. It's a never ending cycle. I'm not a fan of such memorials. They are just reminders of death and tragedy.

They are common around here. I know they do pose some problem for highway and roadside workers who keep the grass and bushes trimmed back. But they do a good job of trimming around them. Having said that, when I see one, I am only reminded of the grief and heartache the family and loved ones left behind must feel. I am not going to judge nor criticize. I've never heard of a roadside memorial causing an accident or creating a major problem. An inconvenience and or short moment of ugly on the side of the road is nothing compared to their loss. I can overlook that second or two of unpleasantness.

I think it's a reminder that it may be a dangerous curve or spot, too.

They don't bother me.

Exactly!

I don't care for them at all. A memorial bench in their favorite park, or a wing in their name I get. But memorializing the spot where they most likely had the worst moment of their life makes zero sense to me. Not to mention they look weathered and derelict in no time and therefore start looking depressing just adds to my dislike.

They don’t bother me at all. If a memorial brings someone peace, who am I to judge?
Sadly, we have many ghost bikes here. I think it serves as a valuable reminder that this what can happen if you don’t share the road or be aware of cyclists.

Maybe to remind people to make better choices lest your life is reduced to plastic hobby lobby flowers, a shitty teddy bear, and a cross that is always for whatever reason, covered in lace.

I don't have a problem with them. I wouldn't make one or visit one but I wouldn't ever tell anyone they shouldn't make one or visit one. As a person staring death square in the face, I spent a lot of time thinking about what should be done when I'm dead and I've finally reached the conclusion that it doesn't matter and the people who will be sad I'm dead should do whatever they like because it's their grief, not mine. My grieving is underway. My grieving stops when I die; theirs begins and it's not up to me to tell them how to do it.

Life is complicated, death is devastating, and I begrudge no one what they need to get through it and come out the other side with their sanity intact. More strongly than I ever have, I feel like people should worry a lot less about what choices other people are making when said choice isn't hurting you personally or hurting anyone else. I also feel really fucking annoyed that I have to spell out "unless it hurts someone" because sure as shit, some fucktard will toddle up here and say "what about child marriage? or pedophilia? or wanking in front of lady comics? What if THAT is how they grieve? Are we supposed to let people just do whatever they want?" Because having to add seven million perfectly phrased caveats is now what's required to have an opinion on the internet. /end digression

Anyway.

TL;DR roadside memorials are not my jam spiritually or aesthetically but if they are someone else's jam, that's fine with me.