|
Post by auntkelly on Dec 6, 2017 3:06:54 GMT
If your mom or sister owned a house and had an extra bedroom they were willing to rent to you, I would say "do it." If the situation didn't work out, you could move out w/ no guilt.
However, since your mom and sister would have to move to a larger apartment to accommodate you, I would not do it. Even if you are miserable you will probably feel too guilty to move because that would mean that your mother and sister would have to move as well.
|
|
|
Post by kels99 on Dec 6, 2017 3:35:13 GMT
Just imagine how happy you'll be as your debt gets smaller and smaller and smaller! I say go for it.
|
|
|
Post by Delta Dawn on Dec 6, 2017 3:40:01 GMT
Dani I have followed you throughout your degree and you are very inspiring! You are!
That said, from a perspective of someone who lost her mother (it's been almost 2 years now) spending the time with your mom while she is healthy is so worth it. I wouldn't have traded the last 20 years I had with my mom for anything.
If you have the chance to live with her again, do. Don't ever say I wish I had.
|
|
anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,062
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
|
Post by anaterra on Dec 6, 2017 4:14:32 GMT
I don't think I would do it.. I understand as roommates you will be able to pay off ur debt... and that would be important to me.. but not at the expense of my sanity... i would just keep chipping away at the loan... 1 extra payment at a time... especially since you have a pretty high stress job... having bonus stress at home is not how I would want to end my day... plus going from living alone since 19.. to sharing all common spaces... ummm I wouldn't
|
|
hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,670
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Aug 29, 2014 18:57:20 GMT
|
Post by hannahruth on Dec 6, 2017 5:14:14 GMT
There is no way I would consider this move.
Two work but when two becomes three there are always problems. I would chip away at the student loans - being in Australia our tertiary student loans are different to yours.
Can these loans be re-financed to a lower interest rate, that is if they are charged interest.
IMHO you are an adult and being so it is up to you to re-pay this debt as it is for you. Moving back in with mum is not being an adult but making changes to her life that in all reality she doesn't want to make.
You have listed your wants but no mention of mum. So your sister has never moved out of mum's so what that is not your call and they may be happy with their arrangement.
Sorry stand on your own feet and it will happen if it is meant to, it will also stop any discord with your sister and probably save your mental health.
|
|
|
Post by scrapperal on Dec 6, 2017 5:26:27 GMT
It doesn't sound like moving in with your sister and mom would be a good fit. It sounds like it would be too stressful for everyone. And then when you move out, then your mom and sister have the stress of moving again too.
|
|
|
Post by darkangel090260 on Dec 6, 2017 7:30:03 GMT
if mom is willing to move look into it. Look for a place where you can have your own spaces. Saving 20,000 a year would seal the deal for me. If you can pay off loans and get a good saving going. I would give it a try and me and my mom are oil and water.
|
|
gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,090
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
|
Post by gsquaredmom on Dec 6, 2017 8:53:36 GMT
Look into your payment plan options. The Income Based Repayment plan might help.
|
|
Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,709
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
|
Post by Dani-Mani on Dec 6, 2017 11:26:24 GMT
Look into your payment plan options. The Income Based Repayment plan might help. I don't have a problem paying my loan; I pay a little extra when I can, too. It's paying it off early that's the problem because I just don't have that kind of extra income.
|
|
Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,709
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
|
Post by Dani-Mani on Dec 6, 2017 11:26:40 GMT
Thank you everyone! Lots to consider...
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 16, 2024 9:25:29 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2017 11:46:29 GMT
Thank you everyone! Lots to consider... My DH and I got married young and lived with his family for a couple years while we saved up and then built our house. I did not agree with the idea but everyone else thought it made the most sense. I still...TWENTY-FIVE years later look back at this time as AWFUL! When I think about it, I just cringe.... I love these people, but I think we could have found different ways to save money. If I were you, I would not move into a situation that you know could be hard on your mental health and peace.
|
|
momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,153
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
|
Post by momto4kiddos on Dec 6, 2017 11:54:18 GMT
It's only for a few years? I say do it. Create a living space in your bedroom that you can get away to when it gets too much. Maybe a twin bed that you can make double as a love seat (we did this in ds's room), a tv and a desk. Back years ago when sis and I roomed I did this but back then I had to have a tv stand- these days hanging the tv gives you more floor space. I spent a lot of time in my room but I didn't hate it. It was like my own private living room. (She had two babies and I worked in a daycare so I needed to retreat a lot). Yes. I could have enough for a down payment and reduce my student loan debt easily in 3-4 years. To be honest, you are looking to take on a lot of new things down the road, child, house, etc. If I had an opportunity to get myself in a better financial position to do that, then i'd probably take it. I like the idea of setting up a good space in your room so that you can escape the drama.
|
|
johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,684
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
|
Post by johnnysmom on Dec 6, 2017 12:20:05 GMT
Considering I’d sooner sell my soul than live with my mother again, I’d most certainly be looking at other ways to make/save money.....second job, babysitting, selling on Etsy or eBay, cheaper apartment, roommate, you name it. But that’s just me.
|
|
|
Post by christine58 on Dec 6, 2017 12:28:34 GMT
IMO, if you live with your parent(s), you never fully have independence. You will always be a child living in someone else's house. No matter how good the relationship is, that family dynamic is still there. I'd get a second (or third) job before I would ever move in with my parents. But if the three of them find a bigger place..that was mentioned...they are all starting anew.
|
|
kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
|
Post by kibblesandbits on Dec 6, 2017 12:31:47 GMT
Nope, wouldn't do it. There are many other ways to reach your goals without enduring a stressful living situation. And, you're only looking at the "now", not the future where you may find yourself dating. Where will you bring him/her? What kind of stress will THAT bring to the communal housing? Additionally, you're going to have to deal with the fact that they will be moving to accommodate you.
I'm in education myself. I am not sure why you are worrying about retirement already - unless your contributions are not included in your pay package? If so, I think I'd let that concern go for a few years.
There are several options for student loan forgivveness/forbearance - I would look into those.
Is your training in demand in your area? Not sure where you're located, but where I am teachers are being poached left and right, and being offered sign up bonuses as well as student loan assistance.
Uber, online teaching, hosting after hours classes or tutoring sessions, college application consulting - lots of ways to earn extra money even when your schedule is heavy. Work hard all summer during your break to earn extra money.
Again, I have no idea what your story is . . . take this for what it's worth.
|
|
|
Post by pelirroja on Dec 6, 2017 12:33:32 GMT
For me, living without roommates was well worth the extra side job I took on (catering events on weekends). My family and I get along waaaaay better when we keep separate addresses and live under separate roofs. I love them dearly but don't like living with them.
Given the fact that moving in with them would require getting a different apartment and it isn't an already existing housing situation, I wouldn't do it. My personal opinion is that there is no roof large enough for three grown women under it at the same time (said as a mom to two grown daughters). Your situation may be different than mine. Good luck in whatever you decide!
|
|
kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
|
Post by kibblesandbits on Dec 6, 2017 12:56:42 GMT
IMO, if you live with your parent(s), you never fully have independence. You will always be a child living in someone else's house. No matter how good the relationship is, that family dynamic is still there. I'd get a second (or third) job before I would ever move in with my parents. But if the three of them find a bigger place..that was mentioned...they are all starting anew. lol not necessarily. The OP's description of the drama already in the house does not bode well. I offered much this same advice (not an adult in your mother's house) in another thread and it was roundly dismissed. SaveSave
|
|
SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,731
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
|
Post by SweetieBsMom on Dec 6, 2017 13:26:46 GMT
If it were me I'd move in with Mom/Sister, get a side job and save like crazy to get out asap. The side job would allow you to save more and be out of the house more. I wouldn't get sucked into any drama.
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Dec 6, 2017 13:30:31 GMT
I haven't read all the responses, but I'd say it depends on how uncomfortable you'll be and how much time you will spend at home. Given your dynamic changes with your mom when your sister is around, I would try to address that now to figure out why it happens and see if you can nip it in the bud.
I'm a big fan of paying off debt, so I personally would almost certainly suck it up for a couple of years and live with my family to get rid of the debt.
|
|
maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,786
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
|
Post by maryannscraps on Dec 6, 2017 13:36:00 GMT
You need to make your decision on how your family acts now, don't expect that your mom or sister are going to change significantly if you move in. Think about the current dynamics. Good luck! I'd want to get rid of the student debt, too.
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Dec 6, 2017 13:37:23 GMT
No, I would not move in with my family if it was stressful.
Making a little extra money doesn't have to be a regular part time job. Think about doing it during the holiday season, for example. Or, a one weekend per month type thing. Then, all that money goes toward your student loans.
Good luck! You have your act together right now. I know you can do whatever you set your mind to doing!
|
|
Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,709
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
|
Post by Dani-Mani on Dec 6, 2017 13:50:16 GMT
You need to make your decision on how your family acts now, don't expect that your mom or sister are going to change significantly if you move in. Think about the current dynamics. Good luck! I'd want to get rid of the student debt, too. This is so true...I come home for the holidays and I swear by the time we've left the airport parking lot I'm ready to go back 😂 My mom and sister are wonderful people. They just aren't meant to live together. I tolerate my sister much better when my mom isn't around and get along with my mom just fine when my sister isn't around...
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 16, 2024 9:25:29 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2017 13:55:42 GMT
I'm mainly looking for advice on what level of sacrifice is worth it to be debt free and how to suffer through those sacrifices. Only you know "what level of sacrifice is worth it to be debt free" for yourself. Everyone has a different view of what sacrifice is. And everyone definitely has a different view of what suffering is. You will be giving up your complete independence and some of your privacy if you move in with your family. What you will get in return is financial assistance and possibly a stronger bond with the women that already love you.
|
|
|
Post by anonrefugee on Dec 6, 2017 13:57:11 GMT
You need to make your decision on how your family acts now, don't expect that your mom or sister are going to change significantly if you move in. Think about the current dynamics. Good luck! I'd want to get rid of the student debt, too. This is so true...I come home for the holidays and I swear by the time we've left the airport parking lot I'm ready to go back 😂 My mom and sister are wonderful people. They just aren't meant to live together. I tolerate my sister much better when my mom isn't around and get along with my mom just fine when my sister isn't around... You have your answer right there. I didn't have the option of living with family at your age, and made the same decision about living alone instead of a roommate. I understand wanting to buy a house and make strides for future, but don't ignore the daily stress caused by living with family. I would look at a second job, even if it cut into social life, which is important especially when you live alone. Or is there something you can do to moonlight- pick up extra work in your field at night?
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 16, 2024 9:25:29 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2017 14:00:26 GMT
You need to make your decision on how your family acts now, don't expect that your mom or sister are going to change significantly if you move in. Think about the current dynamics. Good luck! I'd want to get rid of the student debt, too. This is so true...I come home for the holidays and I swear by the time we've left the airport parking lot I'm ready to go back 😂 My mom and sister are wonderful people. They just aren't meant to live together. I tolerate my sister much better when my mom isn't around and get along with my mom just fine when my sister isn't around... So three's a crowd instead of three's company. Maybe your family dynamic will not support your financial goals and moving in would be a sacrifice for everyone involved and not just yourself. Too many hens in the henhouse so to speak.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 16, 2024 9:25:29 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2017 14:05:43 GMT
If your mom or sister owned a house and had an extra bedroom they were willing to rent to you, I would say "do it." If the situation didn't work out, you could move out w/ no guilt. However, since your mom and sister would have to move to a larger apartment to accommodate you, I would not do it. Even if you are miserable you will probably feel too guilty to move because that would mean that your mother and sister would have to move as well. My 1st reaction was to answer "Nooooo". My 2nd thought was maybe a combination of pea solutions. ...move in and get a 2nd and 3rd job. You would be so busy, you would never be home.
|
|
|
Post by beebee on Dec 6, 2017 14:20:35 GMT
I think it is worth it to pay off the debt from the way you describe the situation. I would not say that if it was completely toxic. It sounds like your mom is great and your sister is tolerable. If thinks get tense between them, just walk away. If you start tutoring, you probably won't be there much anyway. And tutoring is good money so that would be a wonderful side job.
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Dec 6, 2017 14:51:59 GMT
I have not read the other responses you have received.
However step back and look: 1. Problem is how to save more but keep your mental health.
2. Money problem can be solved by sharing housing or living in a much cheaper apartment.
3. Mental health will be ruined if you live with your sister. Additionally, moving there and then after a year or two moving out will also cause mother and sister a move. Eliminate the option of living with sister--not good for your mental health.
4 Last option: move to much smaller/cheaper place.....or continue to repay debt very, very slowly (thus missing other goals).
|
|
moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,244
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
|
Post by moodyblue on Dec 6, 2017 14:58:01 GMT
I can put up with a lot if the gain comes relatively short term. But that's such an individual thing, and I can't tell you if you could stand the stresses for 3-4 years. That's a little longer than I'd want to plan for.
The biggest concern I have is that your mother and sister would have to move to make this happen for you. And if it really doesn't go well, they'd likely be pushed into moving again.
|
|
tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
|
Post by tduby1 on Dec 6, 2017 15:12:40 GMT
It's only for a few years? I say do it. Create a living space in your bedroom that you can get away to when it gets too much. Maybe a twin bed that you can make double as a love seat (we did this in ds's room), a tv and a desk. Back years ago when sis and I roomed I did this but back then I had to have a tv stand- these days hanging the tv gives you more floor space. I spent a lot of time in my room but I didn't hate it. It was like my own private living room. (She had two babies and I worked in a daycare so I needed to retreat a lot). Yes. I could have enough for a down payment and reduce my student loan debt easily in 3-4 years. Do it and when things get tough remind yourself, this is short term for a long term dream/goal. I am a firm believer that some things are worth sacrifices and your dreams/goals certainly fit into that category. And maybe you will be surprised by the outcome, too.
|
|