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Post by stingfan on May 1, 2018 12:41:58 GMT
It would never occur to me to expect my brothers and their families to attend my kids' HS graduations. I don't even know that I'd invite them. While it's special/important to me, they don't have the same attachment to my kids that I have. The party would be even less important to me. The kids tend to hang out with their friends at those things. If my sibling wanted to recognize my kid's graduation, I think taking him to dinner alone or somehow else spending individual time together would have more impact.
I would not ask or expect my sibling to leave his vacation, drive an hour for a party, hang our there, and then drive an hour back. On a vacation, she'd likely be leaving her family without transportation so they'd be stranded/bored for that period of time, too.
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Deleted
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Jul 1, 2024 3:29:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2018 12:43:13 GMT
My sister has two sons. I aattended both graduations because I love them and wanted to be part of their graduation.Their mother, my sister, isn't attending my son's grad (family teaches at his school) nor is she attending his grad party because she's vacationing an hour from our town the weekend of his party. Am I wrong in feeling bad she's not driving an hour to his party? I do not expect anyone but parents and grandparents at the actual graduation but the party, now that is something you sister should attend. An hour a way is no excuse. We had family members drive at least an hour from their camping trip/vacation to be here for my son's graduation party. I am guessing their kids were not too thrilled with being pulled away from swimming and playing at the campground to come to the party but that is what family does for each other. I am sorry you are going through this. I would be hurt, too.
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Post by Darcy Collins on May 1, 2018 13:30:39 GMT
At the end of the day, every family has different customs and dynamics. Some are close, some hate each other - most are somewhere in between. For MY family, high school graduation is a BIG deal - not because graduating from high school is some great accomplishment, but it's a celebration of the end of one's childhood. Just as some families may have a bat mitzvah or quintecera as a big celebration. None of the schools allow many tickets, so it's not the actual ceremony that's important, but the party. Family members make an effort to be there. Sure sometimes life gets in the way and it can't happen. Unless this vacation involves a whole lot more than what's been said - I'd hope she'd attend the party and my opinion of our relationship would be influenced on whether she made the effort.
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Post by pattyraindrops on May 1, 2018 15:17:47 GMT
I didn't invite my siblings, nor was I invited to any of my sibling's kids graduations. Same with my husband. It just isn't a big deal for us. While I see the value in graduation ceremonies it isn't something I would expect someone else to attend for my child.
I'm not big on graduation parties either - except for the big parties schools/parents have for the whole class together. They are just not our thing.
I can see why it might bother you and I'm sorry about that. Maybe you could talk with her - does she realize what it means to you?
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Post by cmpeter on May 1, 2018 15:37:59 GMT
I wouldn’t expect extended family to come to my kid’s high school graduations. Heck, dd doesn’t even want to go to hers (so we aren’t). Graduations are long and boring.
We are going to my niece’s college graduation. It’s a three hour drive and then an overnight stay. But, it’s more so we can see family...my sister lives in HI and is about to move to VA. I’m taking advantage of the three hour drive vs the 5 hour flight and seeing her while it’s easier. I won’t be upset if she doesn’t fly out to attend either of my kid’s college graduations.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on May 1, 2018 16:23:25 GMT
I guess in part it depends if your sister expected/wanted/appreciated you attending her kids' events.
If she did, then it is pretty rude of her not to return the favor.
If she did not, then she probably would not even think about attending because in today's world, people seldom consider what the other person wants/needs if it involves any sacrifice or even mild inconvenience on their part. It's all about mememe and what I want, never about what would make another person happy.
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Deleted
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Jul 1, 2024 3:29:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2018 18:45:36 GMT
Twins graduating college next month. In 4 years. Family all lives in town. One of two of my sisters are coming. I don't care who goes. I'm going and that's all that matters. So yeah, I would not waste a second feeling hurt about who is coming and who is not coming.
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