Peas who live alone - WDYD?

While my house is a revolving door of comings and goings, I do spend a lot of time on my own. I just spent the weekend alone without speaking to anyone but my mom. I’ve often wondered what I would do if I fell down the stairs and broke my leg or choked on a piece of meat. I don’t mind if it kills me instantly but I don’t want to lie on the floor writhing in pain for days on end.

My only suggestion is don’t let your mind go there. The probability of something happening is slim. Chances are good your dogs would create quite a rumpus if you weren’t responding so someone would check that out. Can you ask your kiddos to check in on you via text once a day? Or you could get one of those “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” contraptions if you’re really worried. If all else fails find a hot young guy who needs a place to live and rent out a room to him. Make sure you write in the rental agreement that he must help with yard work and heavy lifting - preferably without his shirt. Then all the other women in the neighborhood will be visiting you constantly and you won’t have to worry about being alone anymore!

My dad is probably much older than you. He told his mailman that if the mail isn't removed from his mailbox for 3 days straight, he's dead and to call the police to come and save his dog. He lives in a smallish town so I think the mailman would really do that.

It really bothered me after my DH died and I lived in the middle of nowhere in Colorado. But there was one friend that talked to on instant messenger, she was a long distance phone call away and 45 minutes away. She was to come looking for me if I didn't show up or answer the phone.

A few years after I moved back here, I remarried so I don't have a plan in place. BUT a friend does, after a mutual former co-worker died and it was 3 days before anyone checked on her, and her dogs howling is what prompted a neighbor to get the police.

It freaked us out, my friend told me and another friend where her key was hidden in the fake rock and she has instructions and info for her dog on the door inside her laundry room. If she didn't come to work, I was to check on her. Now that she is retired, I think she needs to figure out someone to call every day as a check in.

I don't live alone, but my DH travels a lot for work and there have been a couple of times I have thought about this. Once was when my SiL became very ill with a brain infection, and it was only that my brother couldn't properly wake her before he left for work that saved her life. It occured to me that if something like this happened to me when DH was away, it could be several days before I was found.
The other was one morning earleir this year when I woke up feeling extremely dizzy and nauseated - so much so that I couldn't get out of bed. Thankfully, DH was due home that night, so I managed to get myself to the bathroom and to get enough food to survive, but it could have been worse. There was no way I could have taken myself to the doctor in the condition I was in.

Most of the time, I try not to worry and hope that my co-workers would do something if I didn't turn up without telling anyone. 

I don’t live alone and if I don’t text my mom for a few days she will call or text me just to check in and see what’s going on. I would just be sure to have a dedicated person who will drop by if they haven’t heard from you for a day.

My grannie lived alone and had a friend she called every day by a certain time. She missed her daily call and her friend went to check on her and my grannie was on the ground after having a stroke. That plan saved her life as her friend was able to get to her in plenty of time to have her rushed to the hospital, but my grannie was in her 80s at the time.

My parents had a friend who lived alone. The friends said he had an arrangement with his neighbor that if he didn't open his drapes by a certain time each day that the neighbor would be alerted that something was wrong. Obviously there must have been some sort of evening arrangement as well for the drapes to close, I guess.

My work would worry day 1 of me not showing up. That said, I also talk to my mom and best fried daily. If either of them couldn't reach me, red flags would be waving pretty quickly.

Years ago, my great-grandma had a similar arrangement with her equally elderly neighbor. 

My aunt and uncle (siblings) live a few hours apart and both live alone. They call each other morning at 8 am for a quick chat and one would raise the alarm if they didn’t hear from the other. Do have a friend you could text each morning ata certain time?  Just a “good morning”, but he/she would know to investigate if you didn’t send the text?

Both my mom and I live alone, but only about 5 minutes apart, and we talk several times throughout the day, so I’m ok...but, we do usually touch base in the evening. Now, if I didn’t hear from her tonight, I wouldn’t panic, but if I couldn’t get her in the morning I’d go check. And vice-versa. And I don’t do potentially dangerous stuff after our last call...I wouldn’t climb on a ladder, and probably wouldn’t go down in the basement unless it was really necessary. I should mention I come from a family of huge worriers. 

I get your point about being injured but unable to call for help. Could you make it a point to have your cell phone with you most/all of the time?  So you could call for help if you fell or passed out and couldn’t get up?  Of course you’d have to be conscious, lol. 

Here’s a final thought. When I go to bed at night, my cordless phone MUST be in its cradle on the nightstand. Absolutely non-negotiable. If it’s not there, I have to crawl back out of bed and find it. Hopefully if I fell ill in the night, I could at least reach for the phone and summon help. Or if I hear someone breaking in downstairs, I’m calling 911 and the neighbor who has a gun. 

So yes, I fully own that I tend to think of the worst case scenario.  BTW, I’ve “heard” ( no idea if it’s true) that you could perform the Heimlich maneuver on yourself with the help of the back of a tall chair. Just sayin’. 

I would never rely on my 2o year olds to do a well check.

My brother's daughter was supposed to be watching my mother. My mother was found at noon. The daughter was still sleeping. The only reason she was found is her sister decided to call. She call about 6xs before the daughter git out of bed. It was determine that if daughter had checked on her at 7 like she was supposed to my mother might still be alive.

Anyone that lives alone, no matter if they are 18 or 98, needs to have a system.

It is best to have someone you contact each day. A friend of mine lives alone and each morning she sends me a text that just says "Up" - that is her telling me that she is up for the day and is fine. I usually get the text before 9 am but if I don't have it by 10, then I am calling to check on her (once she just got busy and forgot)

So ask a friend if you can send her a daily text or even your daughter (although she won't be in town) - just so you check in with someone everyday so they know you are okay.

My daughter is about to move out and I never thought about any of this!
We are both fiercely independent and it's never occurred to me to let someone know each day that I'm okay. I did travel out of town recently by myself and I sent her a text to let her know I reached my destination and then again when I was headed back home.

My work might or might not try to contact me if I didn't show up for work; a lot of times it's assumed that someone has taken the day off. By the second day they would start calling though.

My mother was widowed when she was 47 yo; she still wears her wedding band & never dated/remarried. I'm an only child, went to college 250 miles from home the following year (& never returned), & have spoken to her on the phone daily for over 30 years.

My husband is a frequent business traveler. When our now 16 yo only child is at a summer camp, visiting grandparents, etc, he has managed his entire life to talk to both of his parents (even if it means two phone calls) every day.

It appears you have at least 3 children. IMHO there's no reason they cannot be your "system."