If my dh/so knew what I spent on __________ he would kill me

I can honestly say there isn’t much, if anything, my dh would kill me for spending-wise. He’s so encouraging about that kind of stuff. I’m the one more likely to kill HIM for his spending. Part of it is because I take care of the bills and am more of the financial realist. He’s a bit more of the dreamer. The other part is, not to sound like a martyr, but the last 25 have been and continue to be about my family. I’ve become my mom in some ways, although she was far more self-sacrificing than me. He is always telling me yes, go on a trip with your friends, YES, go to that scrapbook expo and have fun, etc...

But, if I had to pick something, it might be the upcoming scrapbook expo. He knows I’m going three days (not overnight—I’m commuting) and he knows I’m taking a bunch of classes, but he might be surprised to find out how much that actually costs. I could see his eyes perhaps widen a bit, but that would be the extent of it.

When I was married, he didn't care.

Besides, I was working, all the bills paid.

This thread should have been in 1965.

Dog meds.  One dog has Cushings and another one has an autoimmune disease that affects his nails.  It's a lot.

We are pretty open about what we spend, and over a certain amount it is usually discussed. I handle ALL the finances for both home and business. DH will encourage me to spend on things for myself that I might not consider like a new purse or a nice sun hat in San Francisco . . . . He's been after me to buy a new bike for a few years as we ride our bikes on an annual trip an mine was a 25 year old mountain bike that only had 2 gears that worked. I bought a Townie a few weeks back and love it! I've ridden it almost a dozen times in the last 3 weeks. In the last 2 weeks he helped me pick out and buy a new to me Ford Fusion Energi! We picked it up on Tuesday, drove it today in all electric mode. I've liked them for about 2 years and with our family shrinking and not needing to haul around a bunch of kids it makes sense to downsize my daily driver from a Flex to a Fusion.

But as my mom says, it takes a lot of paper (quilting, knitting, beading, fill in the blank) supplies to equal a fishing boat or an A class catamaran sailboat! We are not tit for tat at all. With that said all our bills are paid, there is money in retirement and savings. We are frugal in general and stay within our means.

Cosmetic dermatology. Between creams, Dysport, serums, lasers, yeah my money goes there. I don’t say a word about the alcohol that shows up every week. I do ask what the wine is like or if the whiskey is nice etc. No judgment. The makeup shows up, too. It’s always in a Sephora box, too!

DH works. I don't. I take care of the money, but it is easy to see any time he wants to. When we go to the grocery store and just buy basics he will sometimes be surprised just how much they cost because I buy nearly everything in the house and he just doesn't know costs anymore.

With that said, while he might be surprised at the cost of any one thing I buy he would never be bothered that I spent it - just that that was how much the item is currently costing results what it cost 27 years ago when we got married. Not sure that makes sense. Basically if I buy it then he trusts me to spend wisely.

We each have our own account for 'fun money' no questions asked spending. 

He has a classic '67 Ford motor car and I am a crafter - scrapping, quilter, and anything else that takes my fancy- paper tole, cards, embroidery etc. spending is not really discussed and certainly never asking for permission. 

The only thing he will comment on is the frequency that I spend money on our three grandchildren - but then again that is another whole story! 

I don't account for my spending to my husband. I earn it, I spend it. End of. I do like my crafting stuff, but I don't get upset when he spends £3k on a new bike either.

This is pretty much the case here, too. Although if I rung up debt, then I'm sure he'd be concerned about what was being spent a lot more than the space.

I occasionally hear "Where are you going to put that?", or the time he claims that my shoes attacked him when he opened the spare closet. 

It was about 14 years before my DSO finally found out (only last year) how much money I spend on my hair cut and colour every 8 weeks. I had an appointment just before pay day and I didn't have enough money so I had to ask him for some. "How much do you need?" he asked, as he took out a couple of $20 notes. "Ummm..... another 6 of those please!" 

We had a dog on meds for 12 years.  She started 3 of them at 6 months and added three more as she aged (and had bladder cancer).  I have never even thought about adding it all up.  I just put it in the budget.  None of my other pets have cost nearly what she did, but I think she was probably the best dog out of all of them.