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Post by gailoh on Sept 28, 2014 1:43:11 GMT
A sermon on honesty sounds in order...
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Post by lindah on Sept 28, 2014 1:49:09 GMT
You have to be clear. Telling them that it all has to fit in one can is not the same as telling them they can no longer use your garbage service. Just tell them - "I am sorry that I wasn't clear earlier, but you can no longer use the garbage cans for your trash." They think it is theirs to use, since they are members of your church. It's going to suck, but the best way to say it is politely and HONESTLY. Don't offer any other excuses - just tell them they can't put their trash there anymore. End of story. This is exactly what I would do. |
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Post by ceepea on Sept 28, 2014 1:59:02 GMT
I just happened to be talking to my cousin who is a pastors wife for 42 years. They live on the parsonage and all their bills are included in his "pay" except cable and I think cell phone bills. They said they can absolutely feel for you as this is a sticky situation. He says that as the pastor it is his job to handle this situation. He would not have his wife do any of the *talking* for him.
He says, that for him, the right thing would be for him to bring it up in council and admit to letting the situation go on much longer than it should have. Again, just for him, he feels that if he is holding up one of his parishioners to what is right then he should be held to the same level. What happens during council should not become everyone's business, but we will know how that goes. Especially with the daughter being on it. He said to pray on it before you make any decisions.
Good luck to you and let us know what happens. |
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AmeliaBloomer
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Sept 28, 2014 6:09:04 GMT
I have been a pastor's wife and I know what kind of fall out can come from this kind of situation. I would just pay the extra fee and say nothing else. better than your dh getting fired after a big church fight over this. Based on the fact that the responses here from pastors' wives have been so different than the "lay" responders, I think few of us understand how politically charged this situation could become. It's unfortunate that you all have to worry that small issues like this could damage your relationship with your congregation or threaten your job security. I would last about three months weeks. Good luck. I hope whatever you decide to do makes few ripples. |
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979 
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Post by tduby1 on Sept 29, 2014 16:03:11 GMT
I should have said... this is a parsonage, so technically the church's property and not ours. BUT the congregation has been MOSTLY respectful and treat the residence as our own. I had one incident where a member walked in without knocking, and I had no problem saying how I felt in the moment! Seriously? In whose mind would this be ok? |
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Post by cakediva on Sept 29, 2014 16:14:16 GMT
I We've been here 11 years, during which time the church has always paid for a local garbage company to come and pick-up our garbage and the church's garbage. I will be honest. If I was part of that congregation I wouldn't be crazy that the church pays for you to have your garbage picked up and no other church member. Perhaps those rare weeks of potlucks you can take your personal garbage to the dump and give this couple the blessing of using the church garbage bin his givings/tithes help pay for? Except that they just aren't members of the congregation - they are the Pastor and his wife. And part of his pay/benefits for his job include the parsonage and the garbage/utilities being paid for. |
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Post by willscrapforfood on Nov 7, 2014 17:58:20 GMT
Update date in OP. Thanks to all for your helpful advice!
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,586
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Nov 7, 2014 18:04:22 GMT
That's great that the direct approach worked! You didn't have to get all connive -y and passive aggressive.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Nov 7, 2014 19:12:14 GMT
Glad that they saw the light after being spoken to! It's about time!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:35:53 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2014 20:16:26 GMT
I think you handled it very nicely. The direct approach seems to have worked well.
PS Thanks for updating -- I like to read how these sort of little things turn out in the end.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Nov 7, 2014 21:07:24 GMT
Glad to hear your positive update.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Nov 7, 2014 21:28:52 GMT
Excellent outcome! Thanks for the update.
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